Men Strike Back

[BluEiis]

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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Q: What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A: A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

[m89c]

LIKE

[Hallelujah]

*ahem*
What did god say after creating man?
I can do better.

Why do men prefer virgins?
They don't like critiscism.

Why are dumb blonde jokes always one-liners?
So men can remember them.

What does it mean when a guy is gasping for breath and calling your name in bed?
You didn't hold the pillow down for long enough.

Just to make things fair. There's loads of sexist jokes around

[Nicole!]

Hahaha these are hilarious! xD

[m89c]

How can you tell if a woman has an orgasm?
Who cares?

Why do women fake orgasms?
They think we care.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Let the wife cook in the dark.

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.