Non-PG13: Humor: Semen-Based Recipes? Lol, wutz?

[Digilodger]

Ladies and gays, finally, now you can save money on cooking ingredients by milking your man dry.

Behold, Natural Harvest - A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes.
(Read the reviews on Goodreads.com, a social network for book readers.)

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants.

Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that.

Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cook book!

Okay, all the creative chefs out there, now's a good time to throw out a collection of recipes based on breast milk to accompany this. Guarantee you that it would make more men wanting to learn to cook!

[Justin Bieber]

I looked for a sample recipe...

ALMOST WHITE RUSSIAN

2 oz Vodka
1 oz Coffee liqueur
1/2 oz semen
cream or milk
ice cubes

Pour vodka, semen and coffee liqueur over ice cubes and top up the glass with milk or cream.

MAN MADE OYSTERS

Cleaned oyster shells
Chilled fresh semen, the more the better
Ice
Lemon and pepper garnish

First clean the oyster shells in cold water. Do not use soap since the shell easily absorbs the nasty taste of soap. Spoon the chilled, fresh semen into each shell. Serve simply on ice with just a squeeze of fresh lemon and maybe a grind of black pepper.

Chef's note: A true semen connoisseur might forego the lemon and pepper in favor of the non-adulterated semen flavor.

VEAL SCALLOPINI
1 lb. veal escallops
3-4 tbsp of butter
juice from one lemon
1 tbsp of semen
2-3 tablespoons of white wine
flour
salt and white pepper
chopped parsley
Start by pressing the lemon juice into the semen, it doesn't matter if it's lumpy since the mixture will be added to warm ingredients before serving. Dust the veal with flour and saute in butter for about thirty seconds on each side. Remove the meat and add more butter, when the butter gets hot, add the wine. Quickly reduce the heat and add the salt, pepper and parsley. Remove from heat and add the citrus semen. While very hot and foaming, pour the sauce over the veal.

Yuck? But funny

Edit: Could give girls reason to spit.... "Oh, I just need to save that for dinner"

[Magic.]

Oh god. This reminds me of: http://www.abc.net.au/news/2011-02-2...-cream/1958378

[Revolution]

It's like 3:00 AM where I am, when I read this, I literally lol-ed and nearly woke my family. Thanks a lot. xD!
SOOOO funny! I've heard the nutritious thing too! That's so funny.

[bitesize]

Oh my god.....hmm. I mean, I can understand that semen is nutritious, etc, but imagine being served that at a dinner party..

[TheBabyEater]

So I was just looking up semen based recipes and found something new called Semen Therapy. There may or may not be a website all about it called www.sementherapy.com (As far as I know, there is no porn or anything on it. Just a bunch of odd facts about semen. Can't be sure though )


I thought I was into Music Therapy, but a new career has just been formed.