Weird Substitute Teacher Stories

[LostTeen011]

Everybody has a substitute teacher when their teacher is away for whatever reason, but have any of your substitutes just seem not right for the job? Here are a few of my experiences.

In sixth grade I had a sub who very "chill." In fact so chill that when a classmate of mine left the classroom to go fight another student she just sat there asking why do you guys want to fight. After another teacher got the two students, our sub gave us tips on how to fight someone else. "Always grab them by the back of their hair, that's what I tell my daughters." she said. When our real teacher came back the next day she told us the substitute had lost the tests we took the day she was there, so we had to take them again.

In ninth grade I had two weird sub stories. A female sub I had sat there and told the class she was single and looking.....for a white man.(she was black) There were other students who had her as their sub for another class and said she showed them a thong she bought.
Then there was this old sub who seemed very frightened by the class and threatened to call security at every possible minute. When a classmate of mine went to ask him a question she tapped him on his shoulder and he told her he was going to charge her with battery for doing so.

[lacylovebugg]

I had a sub in automotive that everyone called "Coach Cheese"

He would spend all the time telling us all sorts of crazy stories. He never gave us our work. And of course when our actual teacher returned we got questioned why no one had any work turned in O.o

I also had a teacher in 9th grade that really threw me off. We had a student who was usually a trouble maker, but the teacher would let him sit in the rocking chair in the back of the class as long as he did his work and behaved. And it worked. He never disrupted class and he finished all his work and then napped. (Better than the alternative)

The sub yelled at him for sitting in the rocking chair even after the entire class said that was his assigned seat. She didn't believe us. Over half the class got wrote up and was sent to student management with referrals because we had "disrupted class"

My Sophomore year, I was taking the FCAT (which is the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test-I'm sure each state has it's own
test of this sort)

We left for lunch and on the way back I ended up sick in the bathroom. I finally felt well enough to return to class (I had no one to tell the teacher I was sick and throwing up)(and we were taking the FCAT in some strange ladies classroom and she wasn't very polite). Once I got there she sent me to student management for skipping. I have never been a disciplinary problem, so when the Dean seen me he asked me what had happened and I told him. He told me to sit the referral on his desk and he would take care of it. I never got into any trouble for it. The craziest part was the sub wouldn't even let me explain what had happened I just showed up and there was a pre-written referral that she only added the time I returned to class on

[Floriferous]

There's a sub at my school who used to be in the circus and has us answer questions for balloon animals. (I've only gotten one. >.>)

Then there's "sexy" cougar lady from my middle school. She was this old lady who wore REALLY short sleeved shirts and her arm sag jiggled in your face. O.o

In elementary school there was this dude who would come in and tell us the most f'd up stories I've ever heard. He actually subs in high school too. I kind of want to hear another one of his stories though.

My french sub this year who was hear for a couple of months since my teacher had a baby was a crazy old lady who wore ugly scarves, had an annoying nazaly voice, could barely speak french and the made us make posters that she hung up during tests. Hey, at least I didn't have to worry about memorizing stuff! xD When our actual teacher came back she had us hang the posters outside the room as a surprise. My teacher seemed angry and VERY confused.

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

I had a Spanish 2 substitute once who was old. Yes, I had to add he was old. Old & cranky. My high school had lost 6 graduates at the time due to being in the army & he was pissed that they were on campus trying to recruit more. So he spent the entire period saying "screw the government" & "they need to bring our soldiers home!"

[The Goblins Blade]

This is kind of off topic, but its related to school and such.

When I was about 14 a new kid joined the school (I'll call him Gary) and although he was small and skinny and we thought he was a bit nerdy, he was a fellow smoker and liked football so he joined our little gang of six and made it seven.

After he'd been there a few days we were smoking behind the woodwork shed in the big playground when he revealed out of the blue that he could make a bomb. We all laughed at him but he kept a serious face and told us that we'd see.

A few days later he showed me a square tin with tape wrapped around it and a fuse hanging out which he had in his bag. The tin box looked like an old medicine box and measured about twice the volume of a tobacco tin. He said he was going to let it off at lunch break. The rest of us were pretty excited.

Gary brought it out with him in his blazer pocket at lunchtime and showed it to the rest of the gang. The fuse was about a foot and a half long and disappeared under the tape and into a hole in the top of the tin. He had already decided where he was going to put it - behind the big loose iron hasp which held the padlock on the woodwork shed.

We waited until the bell went to signal the end of lunch break as my mate Alan (probably the more sensible and thoughtful of the bunch) had quite rightly pointed out that someone might get injured by it. As the playground was almost cleared we started to walk away from Gary as he lit the fuse.

My stomach was turning somersaults as we queued in front of the steps to enter the school building. I looked back over my shoulder and could see the smoke from the fuse and I looked to the top of the steps to see if the teacher on duty had seen it. He hadn't. Gary was by now standing beside me smiling. Suddenly there was a huge bang, followed by the sound of metal clanging across concrete. The kids who were left on the steps let out gasps of astonishment and the teacher couldn't help but shout, "Bloody hell!!" as the seven of us kept eyes front and disappeared into the building while the crowd stayed outside to view the carnage.

It had blown a hole around 4ft in diameter in the double doors and sent the hasp and padlock flying through the air to land about 20ft away.

There was a major inquiry at the school and the Police were called. Everyone's bags were searched by the staff and over the next week or so, one by one the entire upper years were called to the headmasters office to be interrogated, but our gang all stayed schtum and pleaded complete innocence.

Gary never told us what was in that bomb. He said that his father had told him how to make it, and had sworn him to secrecy on the ingredients!!

That wasn't the last of Gary's pranks that year but fortunately none were as outrageous as the woodwork shed bomb.

He left the following year to go and live abroad with his family.

[Kate*]

In High school we had this one substitute everyone LOVED because he never actually taught us anything, instead he would tell us these HILARIOUS stories the whole time and then all the stories would eventually overlap and he'd get confused about which one he was actually telling. He was AWESOME.

Then in my senior English class they had another one of our favorite teachers (who had taught the class before) sub for us and he didn't understand our teacher's explanation of the textbook material so he would read it outloud in a strange accent and then tell us "write this down" and read word for word from her notes. We finished an hour worth of work in about 20 minutes.

There was also this really old cranky guy who subed for us several times in middle school and one day he had us reading aloud from the textbook and the kid who sat behind me (who could read fine) started reading really slow like he was having a hard time of it just to mess with the guy who then started yelling at us for being disrespectful of the kid when we couldn't stop laughing because we knew it was a joke.

Then the other time he subed for us, I guess he wasn't supposed to. Like the class before ours was supposed to be his last one of the day, so he just tells us to wait because someone else is supposed to come and relieve him. Well, nobody showed up so he gets on the phone in the classroom, calls the office and starts yelling at them that he's not supposed to be there and someone is supposed to relieve him. Then he just complained the whole time and made us miserable when nobody came to help him.

Then there was a story in middle school (I was NOT part of this one) but everyone knew about it. It was an older lady and she had some kind of mental breakdown while subing for an art class and she started yelling and screaming strange things at the class and they got scared, then she locked them in refused to let them go to their next class and continued saying weird things to them; so someone distracted her while one of the kids called the office to explain and they sent the assistant principal down. She refused to unlock the door so they called for the principal and she still refused so they had to get the janitor to unlock the door. The day continued as normal and she never came back, but nobody knows what happened to her.

[crazychick10793]

We have a substitute who wears the exact same outfit every day, i don't mean he has duplicates, i mean he wears the exact pants with the stain on the front, has for like 15 years. and my brother and his friends saw him eating out the garbage can and he just comes into random classrooms and stares into space then leaves.

We used to have a substitute in elementary school who wore excessive amounts of white face makeup, like clown makeup, and way too much perfume. she was evil

I wonder where my school finds these people

[Ashes2493]

I had a substitute teacher named Mrs. Elliot who had two false teeth and she would take them out to show us all the time.

Another Spanish substitute who was holding a war against pop/soda/carbonated beverages and would tell us how great her mint water was EVERYDAY.

[Reverie.]

Top set maths were split up one day in year 11, so I had to go into a lower set class. Their teacher was out having a baby so they had this spanish supply teacher. She used to sit there and not help them. They were the bottom set I think. All people who had no interest in passing. It was like one of those films where the kids just are totally disconnected from learning. She didn't tell them off at all. This one kid walked up to her and said 'Miss, I'll be right back, okay? I'm just gonna' go bunk for a bit' and walked out. She just said okay and left him. I was sat there thinking..if that had been my teacher, he'd have gotten a detention and a right talking to! And probably have been called an idiot.

We have this polish supply teacher at my school too. We love it when we have her because we can sit and pretend that we have no work and she always believed me because she trusts me to tell the truth. Abusing my trust, I know. But its fun. Anyway. We had her for future pathways and convinced her we didnt have our books. She found the ones that had ben handed in and handed thm out. She told us we had to do a specific page, but the books don't have page numbers so we were like 'miss we can't find it!'. She showed us were is was and I told her our normal teacher always counts how many pages in it is. She didn't believe me this time. baha. We had her in year 7 for maths too. She got another teacher to teach us, and we told her we still didnt get it. I said 'miss I Don't get it so I'ma play hangman, k?'. She let us.

[Dez]

When I was in the 7th grade, my Pre-Algebra teacher was absent on the same day that my Social Studies teacher was out doing stuff for the Army Reserves. The substitute for Pre-Algebra was this short lady with curly, balding black hair. She was really mean, and told our class that if she had her way, we "wouldn't be breathing right now" and proceeded to tell us stories about how her teachers used to hang them out of windows, things of that nature. Yeah, we got her fired by telling our actual teacher. :P But apparently in another class she had been making fun of the social studies substitute's name, and when we were in social studies some of the students told THAT sub, who told us ways to get back at her (Stuff like saying "Ohh, I like your hair" and then yank it). I liked the Social Studies sub.

Then that same year my Social Studies teacher was out for more Reserves stuff and we were on a field trip and it was this hike thing, so I was straggling behind with a few other people, and the sub comes up by us and was like "Mind if I have a cigarette?" So we said we didn't care and so she was walking with us smoking. Little did she know that I actually did care but I was too scared to say anything.