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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Note to self... - June 16th 2017, 07:42 AM

Kind of similar to the "wish you could say to their face" thread. Post things you wish you could say to yourself (please don't beat yourself up)

It could be an encouraging phrase or mantra, an epiphany you've had, or even a response to something funny or embarrassing that happened to you. I'd like to try to keep this somewhat positive and relatively clean since we already have ranting and venting threads where you can swear.


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Last edited by Kate*; June 16th 2017 at 08:05 AM.
   
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Re: Note to self... - June 18th 2017, 06:06 AM

You've been struggling lately, and today has been particularly difficult. You deserve a break, and if the universe isn't going to give it to you, then you can give it to yourself. Take a step back, find a way to relax, and take whatever time you need to get back on your feet. There's no need to feel guilty about it.


if you know the hunter's coming
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Re: Note to self... - June 18th 2017, 07:02 AM

It is okay to not want to spend some of tomorrow with family. You will get through it though. You usually end up having a good time anyway. And, remember, it won't last long and then you can go home and read or watch a movie or chat on the internet.

It will be okay.


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Re: Note to self... - June 18th 2017, 07:49 AM

You have value and a purpose and you've survived this much for this long, so you must be doing something right.

It's okay if you don't want to deal with either of them.

No matter what anyone says, you didn't deserve or cause what you've been through, and it's over now.


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Re: Note to self... - June 18th 2017, 03:47 PM

Nice thread!

you'll find a way to clean the bedroom out and ig will be for you and something you've accomplished not because you were being pressured to. Maybe having a clean room will help you because a cluttered room is a cluttered mind and so maybe decluttering your room will help you organize your mind better

I know seeing a psychiatrist is scary becsuse you've been let down by so many of them. But this one was actually recommended to you so perhaps there's a chance. And maybe you can prepare by writing down key points.

Keep going, keep fighting. Youll find a way through this hell.
   
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Re: Note to self... - June 18th 2017, 11:04 PM

You haven't been trained very well but none of that matters because you're actually really good at your job and the manager knows this. The rest of the staff know this too. You are appreciated there.


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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Note to self... - June 18th 2017, 11:32 PM

Your disability is NOT a character flaw. Their judgement of you because of it, is.


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Re: Note to self... - June 21st 2017, 06:51 AM

This is not just different, but it's the complete opposite of what you ever saw yourself having to do. It's okay to not like it and it's okay that it feels wrong.


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Re: Note to self... - June 21st 2017, 07:01 AM

Be strong and stay positive. This is the mantra of life.
   
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Re: Note to self... - June 21st 2017, 12:04 PM

Try not to hurt yourself. Try not to hurt yourself. Try not to hurt yourself
   
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Re: Note to self... - June 21st 2017, 02:30 PM

Just because someone says something, doesn't mean it's true. If a million people said that 2+2=5, they would still be wrong.


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Re: Note to self... - June 25th 2017, 06:12 AM

Consider this practice for not letting her drive you crazy. It's more than obvious that it's all on her, but it's still completely okay that you don't want to put up with it.

Plus, you get to see that sweet baby!!!


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Re: Note to self... - June 29th 2017, 05:11 AM

Your relationship with God has nothing to do with her, or anyone else. You didn't ask for that response and even if she meant well, it wasn't okay.


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Re: Note to self... - June 29th 2017, 06:31 AM

You don't have to do everything at once. Just do what you can and let that be enough.


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Re: Note to self... - June 30th 2017, 08:41 AM

As long as you're alive, you can rebuild. You are a survivor, and you're well-liked by the people who completely screwed you over. I don't know how many other people could do that.


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Re: Note to self... - June 30th 2017, 11:40 AM

Tomorrow will be the start of a new project in your life.


Do my best at everything I can to live a happy, perfect life.

Happy life won't come by being happy everyday. Struggle and always work hard.

Forgive other's imperfection, they will work hard about it once I point it out to them, just like what I should be doing.

On the other hand, never tolerate with my own mediocrity. Never slack and always strive improvement.

Never settle. Never give up.
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Re: Note to self... - June 30th 2017, 08:27 PM

Don't compare yourself to them. They don't fight what you do, and they haven't survived what you have.


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Re: Note to self... - June 30th 2017, 09:09 PM

Remember to be true to yourself when you bring up next year with him. Ask yourself what you want without taking into account what he wants, as you tend to be a bit too agreeable for your own good. I have said this before and I will say it again: it is okay to be a relationship person, it is okay to prioritize your relationships, it is okay to be slightly needy and it is very healthy and mature to have aspirations when it comes to this relationship.
Tell him that you would be glad to maintain your relationship next year, despite the fact that he'll be so busy and largely unavailable. Don't think that you are the "weaker" of you two simply because he would be more in favour of temporarily ending it; especially because he'd be doing it for you. Remember to tell him that you would want to stay in the relationship first of all because clinging to it is your instinct, but also because you see it as a positive challenge and an opportunity to grow.
That being said, be sure to ask him what he would do in your position, and if knowing that you're prepared to put in the time and effort he thinks that he would be willing to put in that same time and effort if the tables were turned.

If you end up staying together, that's great. It'll frequently and steadily be a challenge and you may feel despaired sometimes, but you will also frequently and steadily feel grateful for being together and you will grow in learning how to be in a relationship where context makes it difficult.
If you end up spending this year apart, thats also good. It'll probably be extremely hard and emotional at first, but give it three or four months and you'll be at peace with it. You will grow in learning how to part lovingly, how to feel full and alive as an individual without a partner and how to be okay with uncertainty. This may even be the time to learn about developing a platonic friendship with a past romantic partner.

Be true to yourself, be vulnerable, express what you desire with no shame, and respect yourself. Everything else is beyond your control and there is no point in fretting about it. What will happen, will happen.


"You shall love your crooked neighbour / with your crooked heart."
   
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Re: Note to self... - July 2nd 2017, 01:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skyline View Post
Remember to be true to yourself when you bring up next year with him. Ask yourself what you want without taking into account what he wants, as you tend to be a bit too agreeable for your own good. I have said this before and I will say it again: it is okay to be a relationship person, it is okay to prioritize your relationships, it is okay to be slightly needy and it is very healthy and mature to have aspirations when it comes to this relationship.
Tell him that you would be glad to maintain your relationship next year, despite the fact that he'll be so busy and largely unavailable. Don't think that you are the "weaker" of you two simply because he would be more in favour of temporarily ending it; especially because he'd be doing it for you. Remember to tell him that you would want to stay in the relationship first of all because clinging to it is your instinct, but also because you see it as a positive challenge and an opportunity to grow.
That being said, be sure to ask him what he would do in your position, and if knowing that you're prepared to put in the time and effort he thinks that he would be willing to put in that same time and effort if the tables were turned.

If you end up staying together, that's great. It'll frequently and steadily be a challenge and you may feel despaired sometimes, but you will also frequently and steadily feel grateful for being together and you will grow in learning how to be in a relationship where context makes it difficult.
If you end up spending this year apart, thats also good. It'll probably be extremely hard and emotional at first, but give it three or four months and you'll be at peace with it. You will grow in learning how to part lovingly, how to feel full and alive as an individual without a partner and how to be okay with uncertainty. This may even be the time to learn about developing a platonic friendship with a past romantic partner.

Be true to yourself, be vulnerable, express what you desire with no shame, and respect yourself. Everything else is beyond your control and there is no point in fretting about it. What will happen, will happen.
great words
   
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Re: Note to self... - July 3rd 2017, 06:39 AM

You can agree with the decision without agreeing with the way it was done. You don't have to agree that they did you a favor.


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Re: Note to self... - July 13th 2017, 07:13 AM

The truth ALWAYS has a way of coming out. Even if it's decades later everyone eventually meets Karma.


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Re: Note to self... - July 21st 2017, 07:03 AM

No matter how much it feels like it, you are a person, not a punching bag. You are meant for better than being beaten up. Once you've completely broken, you won't break like this again.


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Re: Note to self... - August 10th 2017, 02:33 AM

It's okay to put yourself first for a while. You don't want to burn out too quickly so just take your time.


if you know the hunter's coming
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'cause she's slain the gods before.
   
  (#24 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Note to self... - August 10th 2017, 02:39 AM

There's a difference between nagging/being annoying and doing what it takes to get your needs met. You're definitely in the second category and as long as you go about it respectfully, you aren't doing anything wrong.


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Re: Note to self... - August 10th 2017, 09:32 PM

You can do this. It's going to be a long road but like D said yesterday, you're making progress even if you don't think you are. Don't think about wanting to fit into a nice dress by next month. Face it, that's so unrealistic using healthy methods. Focus on one day at a time, you've got this girl.
   
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Re: Note to self... - August 10th 2017, 11:13 PM

You're not doing anything wrong. Ignore the thoughts that tell you otherwise.


if you know the hunter's coming
then you hide or keep on running
'cause she's slain the gods before.
   
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Re: Note to self... - August 10th 2017, 11:40 PM

Don't give up. Don't let yourself get overwhelmed.


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Re: Note to self... - August 16th 2017, 04:11 PM

You've survived this long, and you're obviously healing. You must be doing something right. Don't let other people's judgements derail you including hers. They've never survived what you have, and she said herself she couldn't even imagine what it would be like. You not only lived through it, but you SURVIVED. That's going to take you places.


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Re: Note to self... - August 17th 2017, 04:55 AM

You're doing well. It's not easy but you're taking steps in the right direction. You should feel good about that.


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'cause she's slain the gods before.
   
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Re: Note to self... - August 18th 2017, 07:45 AM

Trust in him. I know that most of the time you have trouble seeing things clearly; you tend to be either very optimistic or very pessimistic, but the difference is that when you're pessimistic you tend to believe what your thougts tell you, whilst when you're optimistic you're very able to adopt a "I know this isn't realistic but whatever, I'll feel it anyway" attitude.

So this is for the times you are pessimistic about this relationship, this is for the times you are deeply convinced that he will become drowned in work and have no time for you, this is for the times you feel in your bones that he does not really love you, this is for the times that you can't see anything good coming out of this.

- He has stayed with you all this time; he obviously cares about you.
- You'll go on vacation together in the summer !
- You may even move in together next year.
- He can always take a gap year and has spoken about it.
- Think about the last night on the camping trip. Remember that feeling of ever-expanding love.
- Remember, you knew before going into this that it wouldn't be easy. Try to see this as a challenge and a way for you to grow as a person.
- Think of the times he has shown his love to you.
- Remind yourself of the reasons why you are staying with him through this year.
- remind yourself of why you are grateful to have him in your life.
- know that just because things are a certain way today, it doesn't mean they will be that way tomorrow. You have NO IDEA what might happen after this year! he might fail his course and decide to do something completely new, and you'll have more time to spend together. He might succeed but move in with you, and you'll be able to lie next to him every night. He may decide to go traveling with you... you just don't know, so even though this moment feels so poignant, remember that it is just a moment.
- Above all, TRUST. Trust that he loves you. Trust that things will play out the way that they are meant to. Trust that he has enough self-awareness to keep a grasp on himself. Trust that you are 100% meant to go through what you are going through in this very moment. Trust.


"You shall love your crooked neighbour / with your crooked heart."
   
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Re: Note to self... - August 19th 2017, 09:22 PM

It's hard. There's always going to be setbacks and obstacles, but you've totally got this. It's like I said in here the other day: do not set unrealistic expectations for yourself. It's going to be a looooong process, but you will get there. Hey, look, you wore a belt today! It may be leaving a slight mark on your fat stomach, but it's something... And you walked two miles, girl, you've so totally got this.
   
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Re: Note to self... - August 20th 2017, 01:27 AM

Your feelings are 100% valid. You don't deserve to have your words picked apart and judged for them. No one has the right to say "If I were you I would or wouldn't..." because they are NOT YOU and have no idea what they would do in your shoes. You're doing the best you can and you are doing what's asked of you as you are able to. You can't make anyone respond to you.

You can hate morning shifts if you as long as you do your best to work them when you have to
You can be scared to death of going to work as long as you do it
You can hate having your words picked apart because it's rude
You can hate your life, its perfectly fine because it really sucks right now


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Re: Note to self... - August 23rd 2017, 01:15 AM

They don't like you and that's their problem. Don't punish yourself, don't beat yourself up, don't revert. Carry on, it's their loss that they've missed out on being friends with someone like you, despite your flaws. Focus on the two good friends you do have, hold on to them, and never let go.
   
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Re: Note to self... - August 25th 2017, 03:52 PM

Take three deep breaths, calm down and now listen. You sort of signed up for this, or at least you decided to go ahead with the relationship knowing it would be difficult. So if it is, don't be dramatic about it. Don't be fatalistic. Know that this feeling of struggle is just emotional, and that your emotional state is in constant flux and doesn't represent reality.

You may feel like he doesn't care for you because he isn't giving you the attention you want, you may feel like he's putting work before you and that he's irritated with you trying to make contact, but remember that feeling that is part of the experience.
He cares about you a lot, he misses you during the week when you wan't see each other and he can't wait to see you on the weekends. if you ever call him about coming over and he doesn't seem very "present", it's because in that moment he's engrossed in work and can't focus fully on you. That's fine. It's just a moment, and it doesn't represent how he feels about you. Remember that, and try not to let it get to you.


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Re: Note to self... - September 5th 2017, 06:41 AM

YOU make the decisions about YOUR life, they don't. At least you know you're better than them when it comes to this. Don't let them spiral you, even if they aren't being insensitive on purpose.


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  (#36 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Note to self... - September 5th 2017, 07:17 AM

You have to know when to relax and not over worry.
   
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Re: Note to self... - September 16th 2017, 12:37 AM

Acknowledging that you were victimized doesn't mean you're "playing the victim." because if no one brings attention to it or just decides that you're "responding wrong" to their wrongdoing, then it will never change.

You're emotions are always valid, even if someone else doesn't like or agree with them

It's okay to admit you like the job even if you didn't think you would; and saying you like it doesn't mean you want to do it forever.


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Re: Note to self... - September 20th 2017, 06:22 AM

The reason that apology didn't satisfy you is simple: It wasn't one! Saying "I'm sorry if that hurt you, but I don't play the victim" doesn't count. Apologies don't contain accusations or conditions.


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"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
   
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Re: Note to self... - September 20th 2017, 12:56 PM

I know the last few days have been tough but that doesn't mean you're getting worse. It's just a few hard days that's all. The urges don't mean that you need to give in like usual. It's different now, okay? This is your new start, so make it better than it was. You've got this





From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
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Re: Note to self... - September 20th 2017, 03:36 PM

Hang in there, it is not as bad as you think it is.
   
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