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  (#441 (permalink)) Old
Xujhan Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 21st 2009, 08:15 PM

I wish I didn't have to be your dirty little secret.


The atoms that make up you and me were born in the hearts of suns many times greater than ours, and in time our atoms will once again reside amongst the stars. Life is but an idle dalliance of the cosmos, frail, and soon forgotten. We have been set adrift in an ocean whose tides we are only beginning to comprehend and with that maturity has come the realization that we are, at least for now, alone. In that loneliness, it falls to us to shine as brightly as the stars from which we came.
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  (#442 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 21st 2009, 08:52 PM

sometimes i wish i had a broken bone to feel pain...


"Others say there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just say Crud, there isn't... I'm stuck in this stupid revolving door..." -Me
PM me anytime you want to talk about anything.And I mean ANYTHING AT ALL!
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Fellow SI,Autism-Spectrum,Depression,Anxiety,Musical,Trichotilloman ia Person. Basically, I'm ME!
   
  (#443 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 21st 2009, 08:58 PM

I wish I meant more to the people that mean so much to me.



   
  (#444 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 21st 2009, 09:37 PM

Nobody knows how much I really wish he would die....until now.
   
  (#445 (permalink)) Old
Ignorance is bliss..
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 22nd 2009, 03:09 AM

I am sneaking around with the twin brother of the guy who raped me... Something is obviously wrong with me if I'm having sex with his twin... But I don't know how to get help for this... I don't know how to fix myself... The pieces of my life are so shattered that I don't know if I will ever be able to put them back together... I'm afraid I'll forever be a fuck up...


Originally joined: June 2008


" He has no remorse for his actions,
And feels nothing but pleasure.
To see her suffer is his joy-
And her innocence is his treasure. "

is this what you really want from me..?
   
  (#446 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 22nd 2009, 03:14 AM

I have held my gun in my hands, thinking about death, but didn't have the guts to do it. coward


"We will ask nothing. We will demand nothing. We will take." -- May 1968, French Graffiti
   
  (#447 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 22nd 2009, 06:51 AM

Hey Exxon gas station.

You wondering where your security cameras are?

Heheheheh....
   
  (#448 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 22nd 2009, 07:00 AM

I have never felt love. Never liked anyone. Never experienced sadness, and I experience very little sympathy and remorse for others. I also show little care for the well being of others. I've never felt pain, nor intense happiness.

I am numb all the time. All the time. Every single second of my life I am emotionless.

...And for some reason, I LIKE THIS.
   
  (#449 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 22nd 2009, 07:13 AM

I've broken a mirror before...I had just gotten into a fight with him. I was washing my cuts, bruises, and my face in the bathroom sink. I looked up and saw my father...but it wasn't him, it my reflection . I jumped, screamed, and threw my fist forward as hard as I could. The mirror shattered and I had fresh wounds on my hand. I did it because I was so scared. But I'll never admit it.
   
  (#450 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 22nd 2009, 08:21 AM

I still think of that horrid mistake. Nearly a year ago. I dwell on purpose because I feel like I deserve how miserable I am for it.

I hate being touched, but I cant help myself.
I won't admit it, for everyone thinks I've gotten so much better...but I still consider suicide on a daily basis.

I think I've started something easily preventable. I can't keep myself from vomiting after many snacks/meals. i don't want to lose weight. i just feel disgusting and undeserving when I eat.



Help my little eggiweggs! =D Prease?


   
  (#451 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 22nd 2009, 09:56 AM

I never show how bad I really feel... no one ever seems to care when I do tell them, and I feel as if it annoys them that I'm complaining. I'm just scared to death of everything and life hurts too much to handle sometimes... My heart constantly hurts and I don't believe I'll ever find someone who actually cares. I wish I had someone I could cry in front of, who would genuinely care... Life is killing me, literally, I can feel it... and no one knows it but me.

-Commiseration


-Let the Music Play-
"There's no way to explain why life is filled with so much pain. But do the flowers ever grow in the places it don't rain?"

"But the unfortunate truth is that, while being different from everyone else can be exciting at first, ultimately it can get a little lonely."

"The floor seemed wonderfully solid. It was comforting to know I had fallen and could fall no further."
   
  (#452 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 22nd 2009, 05:02 PM

Im living in the past too much. I want her back. But I know she'll never love me again like she used to. But I will.


I will never let you fall.
But if you do, ill just pick you right back up.
If you dont get up, I'll sit right beside you.

.//b e l i e v e;

JustCallMyName
You'llBeOkay,
YourScreamIsBurningThroughMyVeins.
-Breaking Benjamin
   
  (#453 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 22nd 2009, 11:44 PM

I shouldn't, but I really fucking miss him. I'm not okay, even though I pretend to be. I say I'm healing and I'm moving on but it's just now been a week since I found out 7 months of my life was nothing to him... Oh my god it hurts so bad!!!
   
  (#454 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 23rd 2009, 07:51 AM

My best friend is 22, married, and has 2 kids (one his wife's, one theirs). He's had an affair with me.
I've been cutting for 4 or 5 years now. And I'm not sure that I WANT to stop.
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  (#455 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 24th 2009, 04:50 AM

truth is - my atomic clock is at 5 minutes til midnight.



   
  (#456 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 24th 2009, 09:18 AM

I'm trying to convince myself that I can do this but I know I can't for much longer.
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  (#457 (permalink)) Old
noise94 Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 24th 2009, 04:40 PM

I thought we were going to be friends. =/ What happened?
   
  (#458 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 24th 2009, 08:12 PM

Honestly?
I'm scared of going away and worried that my friends will go their separate ways. Sometimes I don't like myself very much.


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The great artists of our time are the ones who created something timeless. But it was never them defining it that way.
Everyone has a story. What's yours?
   
  (#459 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 25th 2009, 04:57 PM

After lying to so many people so long ago, I constantly doubt anyone tells me the truth. It's basically why I'm pushing you away.

I made a mistake and I thought you'd always be there - because I was trusting those words you told me. I guess my real mistake was thinking I had time to think of myself for once.

If you go, I'm not going to be able to live. Not with why you're leaving. It's all my fault and when you needed me the most - I was distant. There's nothing I can do to take that back.


01 // 10 // 11

Baby stand tall. You can have it all.

Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..
   
  (#460 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 25th 2009, 09:44 PM

I love ballet & jazz but nobody knows because they'd make fun of me.
   
  (#461 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 25th 2009, 10:43 PM

I've fallen in love with her.

   
  (#462 (permalink)) Old
-Apple! Offline
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Red face i Feel - July 25th 2009, 11:02 PM

I Wish i Was Never Born...
I Absolutely HATE My Parents ..!
I Hate Them I HAte THem I Hate Them!!!
iTried To Kill Myself!
To Bad It Didnt Work!!!
Next Tiem Ill Jus Have To Try Harder!

Last edited by eunoia; July 26th 2009 at 05:00 PM. Reason: Removing triggering details of attempt.
   
  (#463 (permalink)) Old
losing touch. Offline
oh, really?..
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 25th 2009, 11:20 PM

i try my best to disguise it, but the truth is.. i'm absolutely terrified.


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



   
  (#464 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 25th 2009, 11:32 PM

I really hate you sometimes in case you haven't realized it yet.


"Others say there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just say Crud, there isn't... I'm stuck in this stupid revolving door..." -Me
PM me anytime you want to talk about anything.And I mean ANYTHING AT ALL!
Formerly achava_elah_18


Been in love since May 2008

Fellow SI,Autism-Spectrum,Depression,Anxiety,Musical,Trichotilloman ia Person. Basically, I'm ME!
   
  (#465 (permalink)) Old
losing touch. Offline
oh, really?..
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 25th 2009, 11:35 PM

there are some people on here that i just want to scream through my computer.. "Shut the fuck up" at..

is that mean?. :S


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



   
  (#466 (permalink)) Old
Jamie Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 25th 2009, 11:49 PM

I am well in over my head with too many things.

Paranoia is also eating me alive.


The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways; the point is to change it.

"Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it." - George Bernard Shaw


22:36 [Ergg] It's so much better to be a girl
22:36 [Ergg] IMO
22:36 [Jamie] Naw. Two words: Periods. Childbirth.
22:36 [Ergg] One word: Birth control
22:37 [Jamie] That's two words.
   
  (#467 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 26th 2009, 12:11 AM

i feel myself getting mad at you because
we spend so much time together..
the more time we spend together the more you
will become sick of me i dont want that to happen.
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  (#468 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 26th 2009, 12:36 AM

Every time that I start to cry over you, I look in a mirror, so I will see how pathetic I'm being and stop.


how nice- to feel nothing but still get credit for being alive
kurt vonnegut
   
  (#469 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 26th 2009, 01:47 AM

I feel like i will never fall in love, or ever find someone to be with. I have given up on finding love, it hurts me so much to think about love and see what people have. Because i have this feeling i will find no one.


Lead Moderator, Chat Officer and Disputes Committee Member.
PM me Anytime if you need anything.
   
  (#470 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 26th 2009, 07:09 PM

It takes a lot out of me to open up to someone..



“You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.”
   
  (#471 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 28th 2009, 04:57 AM

I think it's all my fault that I've never had a good friend, because when I make a friend, I always compare them to the kind of person I think they should be. I expect them to be perfect, even though I know that that's impossible. I bet the real reason nobody accepts me is because I never fully accept them.





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
  (#472 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 28th 2009, 06:59 AM

I am NOTok


-Let the Music Play-
"There's no way to explain why life is filled with so much pain. But do the flowers ever grow in the places it don't rain?"

"But the unfortunate truth is that, while being different from everyone else can be exciting at first, ultimately it can get a little lonely."

"The floor seemed wonderfully solid. It was comforting to know I had fallen and could fall no further."
   
  (#473 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 28th 2009, 10:55 PM

-I can't talk to her alone anymore and it's eating me up inside.
   
  (#474 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 28th 2009, 10:57 PM

I'm jealous of you. So, so very jealous.

I'm still mad at you, but I can't show it, because I love you so much.
   
  (#475 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 28th 2009, 11:08 PM

I'm disgusted in myself. I should have never met him. I wish I hadn't. I know he's playing mind games. It scares me.
   
  (#476 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 28th 2009, 11:09 PM

I miss her


You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free
Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
   
  (#477 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 28th 2009, 11:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DontGiveUpHope View Post
Sometimes when I'm truly happy, I make myself depressed,because I feel like I don't deserve to be happy. Well,its not that I don't deserve it,I just feel...out of my comfort zone being happy. like I'm very vulnerable when I'm happy. So why not just be depressed?

p.s. i'm the only person that whited so far.haha.
not sure if it's appropriate to comment back on what u put here, but i used to feel exactly the same.
   
  (#478 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 28th 2009, 11:59 PM

Just found a post on here about her and it reminds her that no matter what has happened, she will always love him in some way.
   
  (#479 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 29th 2009, 12:30 AM

She met me.
She made me trust her.
She said she loved me.
She said she'd never leave.
She left.
She said she didn't love me anymore.
She's all I can think about.
   
  (#480 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 29th 2009, 01:27 AM

your just some slut in heels.
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