Say something you wish you could say to their face.

[mindflower]

I can't believe what you did tonight... after how perfect I felt yesterday? How hurt, because it wasn't enough for me, but how safe and happy I felt for once to be back with you at least for a bit? And tonight, I thought... you know I thought things would be great. But... what you did.... do you realize how bad that hurt.

I wish you'd just say it to my face. How you regret ever knowing me. How when you say "you want to just be friends, that's all you've ever wanted", how much that killed my heart, and how badly I just wish you'd say you hate me. You think I'm ugly, and awkward, and a bitch, and you've never wanted me in your life.

I felt like... wanted. Like maybe it wasn't all downhill from here. I was nervous, putting on a cute outfit and making sure my make-up looked perfect, hell I was shaking when I first saw you come out on stage and obviously I was nervous when I hugged you but really I just couldn't stand going this whole day without you... and then. Then this?

You have no right... no right to tell me not to fuck up. You have no right to get into my and Cody's business, you have no right to assume I'm fucking Pat just because Cody assumes it with his trust issues, which, you know, can make sense because as I've said before, I'm a whore, and you are all too stupid to leave me. I deserve to be alone. "I'm not an idiot, Tay" WELL FUCK YOU. You have no right to ask me why I'm walking alone with Pat, walking away with another guy in general. You have no right because sometimes, though rare, that guy is you and you can't stand there all tall and firm and say that I'm going to regret it. Because. Here's the difference between me and you. You get me alone. You use me, no feelings attached whatsoever. And then you regret it. Because I'm the worst piece of shit in your life. But if you get me alone, I fall for every last moment of it and cherish it like at any second I could fall dead, I let you use me because I have so many feelings attached there's no room for other guys... or regrets.... and eventually then I regret it. But here's why I let myself regret what happened: You make me see that I mean nothing to you. And I never have. Because you said it tonight. You've never wanted anything between us more than friends. If even that.

You have no right to tell me, "Oh, by the way, he's dating someone" If he is, he does an extremely shitty job showing it because maybe this is news to you but he asked me to come with him. He started talking to me first, he called me baby first, he wanted me first, he was probably lying through his teeth without a single little care and frankly what guy hasn't to me, Connor, You, I mean who knows how many girls Pat could have too. And yeah that hurts but why should I care when I love pain? Hey, my body is a piece of shit anyways, my life is worthless, I have no future, I don't care what they do to me, and I have Cody to fall back on in case I monumentally fuck my life up but truth is I do think I love him, in ways that I know I can't explain, but I don't deserve him, and he doesn't deserve my crap so maybe he should leave too. Leave like everyone else has. Leave like you did.

You have no right to get that mad at me, and to make me the bad guy, you fucking hypocrite. You're in love with a girl who likes women, and you refuse to see it. Meanwhile, other people fucking love you, no adore you, NO, would saw their arms off for you if you asked, and you are too damn blind to see it. But lets face it. You're blind with a lot of things, not just love. Do you have any idea what I go through every day and night? Do you realize I'm on two medications, I see a therapist once a week, I hallucinate, I cut myself and have nightmares, do you realize how suicidal I am every moment of every day, including right now? Maybe you wonder why I'm around and flirting with so many different guys but do you realize that I'm that insecure, that I offer up my sacred body to these guys just so I can feel wanted, and maybe a little liked? Do you see me at all? You say you want to be friends but how can you friend a monster like me? That's what I am right? A monster?

....I feel like I need to apologize for ever being in your life. I feel like I need to apologize for ever fucking up you so damn bad but worst of all, I'm just sorry that I can't be perfect for you like you are for me, something you don't have to regret for once, something...something that can fix you... fix me.... I can't believe how much this still hurts... frankly, you shouldn't have to clean up my mess, so leave. Okay. You don't want to be in my life, you definitely don't want me in yours, so leave.
..........


... Oh God....

Please just make it end

I'm guessing you're just trying to mend the gap between us, but liking my posts without talking to me for weeks makes me uncomfortable. It feels like you're spying on me, considering you blocked me from seeing anything you post. Frankly, i may do the same.
Liking a couple of statuses does not mean we're friends again, or going to be. You burned that bridge fairly badly. I don't really want you or your half-ass attempts at repairing things in my life right now. I'm doing just fine without you.

[Rivière]

You obviously don't understand that it's not always like that.

[bitesize]

It was actually really nice chatting last night. I'm glad you opened up a tiny bit to me. I think I fancy you a little less now... which is good. I still want to ask you about what happened, when I can find the guts. But it's nice being on non-awkward, genuinely friendly terms with you. And nice to know we can get drunk together without something dodgy happening again (although I'm admitting I have been very disappointed that you haven't come on to me since that night.....)

[Kate*]

You keep doing that and I don't know what you expect me to do. You need to grow up.

I'm going to attempt to make this appointment tomorrow and I'm terrified so please have an opening when I'm available and don't scare me off from trying this again.

You keep telling me that I'm not wasting your time, yet when I go in for help the people before me run over AND my time ends before it's supposed to even when you adjust for that. It's not just once and not just with one person. You keep telling me I'm not alone in this, but I've never felt more alone in my life.

[MegaMadness]

fuck off i dont like you at all.

[mindflower]

Originally Posted by FixYou♥

I can't believe what you did tonight... after how perfect I felt yesterday? How hurt, because it wasn't enough for me, but how safe and happy I felt for once to be back with you at least for a bit? And tonight, I thought... you know I thought things would be great. But... what you did.... do you realize how bad that hurt.

I wish you'd just say it to my face. How you regret ever knowing me. How when you say "you want to just be friends, that's all you've ever wanted", how much that killed my heart, and how badly I just wish you'd say you hate me. You think I'm ugly, and awkward, and a bitch, and you've never wanted me in your life.

I felt like... wanted. Like maybe it wasn't all downhill from here. I was nervous, putting on a cute outfit and making sure my make-up looked perfect, hell I was shaking when I first saw you come out on stage and obviously I was nervous when I hugged you but really I just couldn't stand going this whole day without you... and then. Then this?

You have no right... no right to tell me not to fuck up. You have no right to get into my and Cody's business, you have no right to assume I'm fucking Pat just because Cody assumes it with his trust issues, which, you know, can make sense because as I've said before, I'm a whore, and you are all too stupid to leave me. I deserve to be alone. "I'm not an idiot, Tay" WELL FUCK YOU. You have no right to ask me why I'm walking alone with Pat, walking away with another guy in general. You have no right because sometimes, though rare, that guy is you and you can't stand there all tall and firm and say that I'm going to regret it. Because. Here's the difference between me and you. You get me alone. You use me, no feelings attached whatsoever. And then you regret it. Because I'm the worst piece of shit in your life. But if you get me alone, I fall for every last moment of it and cherish it like at any second I could fall dead, I let you use me because I have so many feelings attached there's no room for other guys... or regrets.... and eventually then I regret it. But here's why I let myself regret what happened: You make me see that I mean nothing to you. And I never have. Because you said it tonight. You've never wanted anything between us more than friends. If even that.

You have no right to tell me, "Oh, by the way, he's dating someone" If he is, he does an extremely shitty job showing it because maybe this is news to you but he asked me to come with him. He started talking to me first, he called me baby first, he wanted me first, he was probably lying through his teeth without a single little care and frankly what guy hasn't to me, Connor, You, I mean who knows how many girls Pat could have too. And yeah that hurts but why should I care when I love pain? Hey, my body is a piece of shit anyways, my life is worthless, I have no future, I don't care what they do to me, and I have Cody to fall back on in case I monumentally fuck my life up but truth is I do think I love him, in ways that I know I can't explain, but I don't deserve him, and he doesn't deserve my crap so maybe he should leave too. Leave like everyone else has. Leave like you did.

You have no right to get that mad at me, and to make me the bad guy, you fucking hypocrite. You're in love with a girl who likes women, and you refuse to see it. Meanwhile, other people fucking love you, no adore you, NO, would saw their arms off for you if you asked, and you are too damn blind to see it. But lets face it. You're blind with a lot of things, not just love. Do you have any idea what I go through every day and night? Do you realize I'm on two medications, I see a therapist once a week, I hallucinate, I cut myself and have nightmares, do you realize how suicidal I am every moment of every day, including right now? Maybe you wonder why I'm around and flirting with so many different guys but do you realize that I'm that insecure, that I offer up my sacred body to these guys just so I can feel wanted, and maybe a little liked? Do you see me at all? You say you want to be friends but how can you friend a monster like me? That's what I am right? A monster?

....I feel like I need to apologize for ever being in your life. I feel like I need to apologize for ever fucking up you so damn bad but worst of all, I'm just sorry that I can't be perfect for you like you are for me, something you don't have to regret for once, something...something that can fix you... fix me.... I can't believe how much this still hurts... frankly, you shouldn't have to clean up my mess, so leave. Okay. You don't want to be in my life, you definitely don't want me in yours, so leave.
..........


... Oh God....

Please just make it end

No, things aren't okay between us. I cut myself because of that fucking shit. Thanks for giving a fuck. You'll never actually know anyway so whatever, lets just give up right now.

[Ennui.]

You're such a fucking bitch.

[Phantom_Girl]

Let's just be friends, okay?

[Jovial.]

What happened to our friendship? Are we on the same page anymore? I need you so badly but don't even know how to ask for your help.

[bitesize]

'Bitesize,' you said today in your Cavan accent as I carried the mop through from the kitchen, and I turned and waited at the door. '.... You're some fucking singer.'

This made me happy.

I understand that this is a sensitive issue for you, and I am sorry you experienced some hurt feelings over how things were handled yesterday. You're right, you do live in this house and should get a say in the decisions about what goes on in it.

But it was not okay for you to come in the door, barely even greeting me while I was relaxed and reading and just confront me. I don't respond well to that. At all. I also don't appreciate that the situation appears to be entirely my fault. I'm get that she told you you could invite anyone to Thanksgiving, but guess what? I'm a part of it, too, and it just got sprung on me you wanted your friend there. I didn't say yes, I said I'd think about it, but then you called him twenty fucking seconds later to invite him! What the hell?

And frankly, I'm being made the bad guy because I don't want him there, even though you swore up and down it's "fine" if it's just us this year. If it isn't fucking fine don't say it is. You know why I don't want him here? Because every time you guys have friends over I get left out. I become "the kid" again. And on Thanksgiving, I don't want that. I'd like to feel comfortable in my own home on a holiday.

And you know what? It probably would have been fine if you'd given me a week. Time to get past the gut reaction described above. But you didn't. You didn't give me a chance. So don't unload on me how upset you are that I wanted more than one minute to make up my mind about how I've done Thanksgiving for twenty-two years. That shit is not okay with me.

Will you still look at me the same when I tell you what those scars are from?

The thought of you leaving me is unbearable and we aren't even dating yet. You need to know these things about me before we get into a relationship. I'm so afraid I'm going to make you hate me.

[SouthernBelle.]

I loved having sex with you. 'Bye-bye, baby.

[Rivière]

I'm kind of getting a bit fed up feeling like a questionnaire. I've been working a very physical job. I come home and come online to be nice and talk to you and after all the things I write or if I make a spelling mistake, "What does that mean!?". I get you don't understand, but you could maybe understand that if you'd worked the job I do, you don't want to come home answering questions or have to explain your typing is bad because it's very cold, you suffer raynaud's, you find spelling hard as it is and you don't want to constantly repeat everything you say or fix every spelling mistake just to explain all the time. Sigh.

[bitesize]

Ahhhh, I feel kinda weird now that he told me on Saturday night you have 'dibs' on me if I ever break up with my boyfriend. You're one of my favourite people in work but I don't see you like that... you're not bad looking but you're so much younger than me and you remind me of my little brother! I feel slightly betrayed now or something. Sigh. :/

[Jovial.]

- You told me that you were proud of me. You haven't been proud of me since I was a little kid. I moved out, and I did what I needed to do. It's not easy but I AM making it happen, and I will continue to make it happen. I wanted out, and I got out, and this is the last time I will have to leave. I am not coming back.


- I wish I could just say it already.

[stateofserenity]

B:
I wish you'd be honest with me. I hate how you flirt with every single girl and make them fall for you. Do you like me? Because somehow I love you.

I'm not lying when I said I didn't know it would burn me.
But I did lie when I said I wouldn't touch it again.
Burning is so much better than cutting.

[Kate*]

You know if you were/are grading that you might want to mention it. We have 3 classes left and I just now noticed. But you know what? You can deduct for that all you want, I will pass regardless. And no, I don't understand why EVERY class harps on that like not doing it will be a death sentence later! Maybe I'd earn those points easier if you got through the material faster and made it more interesting.

I'm going to try doing as you suggested. I think I needed the push from someone who I felt cared. I really hope you are this empathetic all the time and that you meant it when you said you wanted me to get help because you cared and not just because of the situation I have found myself in. I'm trying this partly out of respect for you, but I'm scared. Can you teach me how to be that empathetic towards people? I know you want us to be ourselves and not just copy you, but how else am I going to learn because obviously the way they're teaching it isn't working on me.

No, I'm NOT thrilled about an 8:30 appointment, but if I wait any longer then it'll be break and it will be over or I'll have been dismissed by then and it won't matter.

[Tigereyes]

I wish you would ask me if I'm okay. Part of me wants to tell you that I'm not. Not even close. But I don't want you to worry; I'm fine.

[craz33me]

Lol, do you really think that starting crap about me is going to make me want to take you back?

[bitesize]

STOP being so fucking bossy!! I'll be hungover if I want to be fucking hungover, I'm not going to be drinking that much on Friday night anyway because it's my graduation the next day and you're just going to have to fucking put up with that!! Stop trying to control my life. STOP.

[Rivière]

Telling me not to worry and how the game is really boring to you, how you never liked it doesn't necessarily mean that no one else does. Just because you might not like it doesn't mean everyone else is the same as you.

I'm just biting my tongue here...

[RiseFromTheAshes]

I know I fucked up but I am trying so hard. Please don't be mad at me.

[Astrophile.]

You're being so rude and shady.

[SouthernBelle.]

A: Okay, long story short. I had a girl crush on you for ages in high school. That's it. I'm shutting my mouth now.

B: Leave her and her boyfriend the hell alone, or I'll box your ears. No one messes with my friend. No one.

[craz33me]

I cannot deal with your crap anymore. You've lied to me, stepped on me, spread crap about me, cheated on me, and most of all, you made me want to kill me... I've finally realized what it's like to live without you in my life, and I know now that I can AND will do it without you. Oh, and you might want to tell your little girlfriend that there's another girl who thinks she's dating you too. Bye bye then.

-I was surprised you said yes so readily. I'm glad, but at the same time, it worried me, because the next time an opportunity like that comes up for you, I worry you'll expect me to say yes that readily, too...and I don't know if I can.

-I was polite about it, but I felt embarrassed for you. Even if the reasons I gave you weren't true, I still would not choose to be with you.

-I'd like to, but I'm not sure how I feel about it. After all, the past is still quite fresh in my memory, and I don't know if I can just jump into a similar situation again, even if it could (and probably would) be very therapeutic for me to do so, especially with someone who knows what they are doing in scenarios like this. You make the benefits of it sound so appealing, though, that it's hard to resist your offer.

[Ral.]

Help me, I'm scared.

[bitesize]

It makes me feel so stressed out and strained being friends with you.

Yeah, that hurt my feelings. And yeah, I am upset. How would you like it if, while we were discussing something important to you, I just blurted out "I don't want to talk about this anymore, I'd rather go speak to those people over there." If this were some social gathering and I was just joe blow talking your ear off about some inane topic, I'd understand that approach. But I'm your daughter. Did you really not think that through? Did you not think that would sting? Because it's nice to know that if your friends are here the things that matter to me don't mean anything to you. I'll remember that next time I feel like talking to you and company is over.

Oh, and while we're on the subject, me finally coming to you about something sensitive is not your chance to suddenly unload all the concerns and opinions you've been holding in. I was already aware; I didn't need you to further impress it upon me.This is why I stopped talking to you about it in the first place.

[savealife723]

I really did love you.. But now you're gone and happy without me..

[Skeleton]

How nice of you to care for five minutes, helped big time.

[Kate*]

How dare you say I don't do that when you don't know me and you've seen me do it. And why would I when all it does is backfire on me and you are yet another example of that!

I still don't know what to believe. Help me figure it out?

[Phantom_Girl]

It's not funny anymore. You're not funny anymore. Take a hint. I don't want to talk to you.

[bitesize]

It makes me feel like crap that you're obviously more into her than me.

You didn't even say goodbye tonight..

[bitesize]

Ah tonight made me feel better. I like that we're comfortable enough around each other for me to say 'it's a date' and have it not be awkward at all. I liked when the four of us were hanging in the bar. I didn't feel any stupid jealousy today. I love my boyfriend (:

[Azure.]

Game's over. Come back. Please. I need you.

Thirsty for drama, eh?

Sorry, you'll have to go elsewhere to quench your thirst.

-------------

Oh, my god. Stop! Just stop.