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  (#8641 (permalink)) Old
Calaer Offline
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - July 31st 2016, 03:00 PM

You no longer control me. I don't want you to be apart of my life, so I'm burning that bridge, and moving forward.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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  (#8642 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - July 31st 2016, 03:39 PM

Do you care about me? Am I just an object to you? Why don't you even speak to me? Are you afraid? You said you'd help me but the more I stay the lonelier I feel. Somehow I know you care and I care too but we should talk, cause I can't take it anymore.
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  (#8643 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - July 31st 2016, 07:57 PM

You mean everything to me. I want you to know this now and forever. I'd do anything for you
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 2nd 2016, 06:25 PM

I can't stop thinking about you. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing that I think about before I go to bed. If only I had the courage to talk to you.




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  (#8645 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 3rd 2016, 06:25 PM

I'm not sure if I'm just being paranoid or if you're honestly not wanting to be around me anymore. I have no idea what has happened since last week, but I hope it doesn't have anything to do with other 'family' members. I really miss you, and I wish you were here right now.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 5th 2016, 07:21 PM

Please just stop it. Cut it out already. This is not a show for your amusement. It's very real and shit is going to hit the fan one way or another in ninety days.
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  (#8647 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 5th 2016, 08:14 PM

Why do you have to be so annoying?
Just leave me alone
Stay out of my bedroom
Quit bothering me
I wanna be left alone
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  (#8648 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 6th 2016, 01:03 AM

Not about here:

I get it, you've met them in person so you don't want them being bashed. The problem is that you didn't define "bashed" and it seems to mean that we can't say ANYTHING even slightly negative. That's completely unrealistic. Nobody's perfect and I don't see how we're supposed to have discussions, which you claim the group is for, if we aren't allowed to disagree about or say anything that might be taken as even remotely negative at the risk of being thrown out for even potentially causing conflict. Yet, someone you've assigned power to can say the same exact (almost word for word) thing as me, their's is allowed and mine is deleted. Your expectations are unrealistic and you're taking your perceived power and authority way too far. This is a TV show, there are more important things to get this worked up over.

This is exactly what I was talking about, you deleted his (completely acceptable because somebody approved it) post and my completely reasonable comment with it probably out of fear because people can't act more mature than children. I don't get it.


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  (#8649 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 9th 2016, 09:09 AM

Based on that logic, I was supposed to learn from the "mistakes" I couldn't keep myself from making in order to become someone I'm not sure I was intended to be. It started to feel wrong for a reason. I want what it would've allowed me to do without becoming who they said I needed to be for it to be possible. Even they admitted I didn't screw up. I can't reconcile this without the truth that I'll never get. I only know that I was treated differently and they never explained or admitted it.

I thanked you for that, essentially doing your job, a year later because I clung to what you said so strongly that it's part of the reason I'm still here and I'm not ashamed of that. Maybe if she hadn't been so insistent on blaming me for her behavior, claiming it was all my "choice" and fault that she treated me the way she did, I wouldn't be as messed up now.

Nothing about my disability, or the way you treated me was my fault and I would NEVER "choose" what I've been through because of it. I love how " Everyone is responsible for their own behavior" until yours towards me become my fault. I never said I was perfect, you couldn't stop saying that you were professionals while blaming me for the disability that means I'll never be one, and the fact that you were allowed to blame me in the first place. Actions speak louder than words and I can't believe how hypocritical the whole group of professions are. You don't have to be like that just because everyone before you was and told you "That's just how it is." I would think that after being on the receiving end of it, and claiming you care, inflicting it to the point of PTSD symptoms on someone else would be the LAST thing you'd want to do. Your job is to treat it, not cause it. Or, did I do that to myself on purpose too, along with the brain damage I've had since birth?

I love that his first words to me when I bought it up were "You can't change it." While he admitted that it was wrong and said that you'd force me out if I didn't sit there and take it (and I'm assuming eventually act like you towards others.) That will never make sense to me, but since I'll never have to deal with it, I guess it doesn't matter. I'll let KARMA take care of you.

See, you think the fact that my situation has never happened before automatically makes it 100% my fault. You forgot two things: extremely rare disability, and the fact that you aren't perfect. I'm not completely innocent, but neither were most of you, and as the professionals in it who were modeling professional behavior, you fell short of not only your own perceived perfection, but your actual higher standard. Then when I tried to show your true colors, ducked, dodged, denied, and covered for each other better than I've ever seen until I was (falsely) convinced that I was going crazy, and the end result was me being blamed for your behavior, my life in shambles (which is of course also my fault), and you get to go on consequence-free, like I never existed, and able to continue your very shady practices while claiming you "care" about the people you're legally ruining the lives of and psychologically destroying without consequences while you stand on your legal protections from your constructed system, and imagined moral high ground. It makes me sick. You know what you did to me, you know you treated me differently, and you know it was wrong. I can't believe I fell for it and let you take advantage of me like that.



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"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte

Last edited by Kate*; August 11th 2016 at 04:53 PM.
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  (#8650 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 9th 2016, 09:33 PM

Dear Trump,

Please stop making a fool of yourself and focus on the message of your campaign. As well, take debate lessons; you honestly are the worst debater I've ever witnessed and I don't want to see Hillary destroy you in them when September 26th arrives. Only an insipid dunce such as yourself would have a difficult time beating Hillary, for she is the worst candidate the opposing side could've nominated. You have less than 100 days to improve your poll numbers, so please stop acting like some mindless twit.
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  (#8651 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 10th 2016, 03:07 PM

I'm nervous being around you, but I'm sure it's not going to be so bad? Right?


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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  (#8652 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 13th 2016, 11:36 AM

I'm not straight.


Without changing a part of me, how do I get to heaven?
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  (#8653 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 14th 2016, 08:13 AM

Sometimes it REALLY bothers me that people who treated me like that, can not only have the job I wanted, but the type of job I wanted. Then I realize, that's how their whole system works and it doesn't surprise me one bit. I really hope karma is a thing though because some people desperately need it. I hope somebody eventually puts you all in your place.


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Last edited by Kate*; August 14th 2016 at 08:10 PM.
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  (#8654 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 14th 2016, 08:50 AM

You treat me like shit and use me, but I cant help being really in to you


"Carefree, wherever we may be. We are the famous CFC" - Chelsea Football Club
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  (#8655 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 14th 2016, 08:07 PM

I hate you. I hate being related to you. I hate the fact that you're the damned reason I don't see the rest of the family, it's because I don't want to be around you. You make me sick. You're ignorant and selfish and you are a piece of shit and I have little to no respect for you anymore. I hate you I hate you I hate you!!!!!




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  (#8656 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 15th 2016, 02:15 PM

You surprised me yesterday. I'm actually thankful for that. You made me feel welcome, and I didn't think that was possible.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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  (#8657 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 19th 2016, 12:26 PM

This is a bad idea. It's not going to end well. And of course you're not going to have any consequences because you never do.



"We all have battle scars, Finn. Suck it up and build a brace for yours."
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  (#8658 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 19th 2016, 09:30 PM

I want to tell you everything and have you make it all okay somehow, but there's nothing you can do. I'm on the ledge, save me.

I cried again, I'm haunted like hell, and this comes with a high suicide rate. I want what you can't give me and need what I'll never get. Of all people, why me? As much as I want to be more mature than this, there's a part of me that hopes this haunts you like it does me and that you think of me, and that it hurts. I want to cry for help to you and I can't.

Don't worry, I know you're human. You may or may not come off of the pedestal, but I know you're not perfect.

Have you ever had your soul ripped out and your entire life collapse within a matter of a few months? No? Then guess what, you have NO right to judge the way I handle it, or how long it takes for me to "move on" I lost everything to a permanent circumstance notorious for horrendous outcomes. The fact that I'm still breathing is a f***ing miracle.

His death is verifiable, it's posted everywhere. Stop fighting me on this.


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Last edited by Kate*; August 22nd 2016 at 07:17 PM.
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  (#8659 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 19th 2016, 09:44 PM

Oh. My. Word. It is not that freaking challenging. You put your used feminine products IN the gosh darn garbage can. You don't leave them stuck to the toilet paper dispenser or on the floor, unwrapped. *gag* How hard is it really? Seriously. For the past week at this hockey rink, they have been left out.
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  (#8660 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 20th 2016, 04:05 PM

I miss you, and it's bittersweet that you aren't here to reconnect with all of us, but I'll keep you in my prayers, in hopes that you'll turn yourself around and stop going in the wrong direction.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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  (#8661 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 20th 2016, 05:12 PM

I sometimes wonder if something could be between us if I made the move back then. Before you got so busy you can barely keep contact with me now. I wonder how would it look?


The risk I took was calculated, but boy, am I bad at math.
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  (#8662 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 20th 2016, 05:17 PM

I want to bunch you so hard in the face


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  (#8663 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 22nd 2016, 02:21 PM

I honestly never thought that I would be able to reconnect to you like this. I'm so thankful I listened to her, because I've missed this, and I've missed us, and I'm so thankful you're a part of my family again.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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  (#8664 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 23rd 2016, 12:27 AM

Can I kiss you? I mean, if it's alright with you? Just don't ask ok, I don't know myself.




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  (#8665 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 23rd 2016, 05:02 AM

It's times like these that I want to contact you, which is exactly why I put that boundary in place. As long as you don't turn on me without warning like he did, you're good.

There were times I'm here because I clung to that and I'm not ashamed of it.

Yeah, let's talk about me behind my back, you don't know I ran out of reasons to stay a LONG time ago, and you won't because it's nobody else's business and I don't trust you. You don't know how to handle it and you can't keep your f***ing mouth shut.

CALM DOWN, You've had children, your body has changed, that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to wear shorts or have to watch and monitor every bite of food that goes into your mouth. You're fine and beautiful just the way you are. Relax.


Member Since: September 19, 2007
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Last edited by Kate*; August 25th 2016 at 07:19 PM.
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  (#8666 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 23rd 2016, 02:53 PM

It's breaks my heart to see that you've pushed yourself away from a family who cares about you, and who loves you and only wants to watch you grow as a Daughter of God, for a family who wants nothing but to watch you fail in life, and only wants to introduce negative things in to your life. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope that everything works out exactly the way they should.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 25th 2016, 06:19 PM

I'm sorry. I really like you, but sometimes it feels like such a struggle with you. I don't know. Plus, I am always afraid to admit something because you're constantly sick and I hate that I worry about losing you.
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  (#8668 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 26th 2016, 09:36 PM

I love you, and I hope that you'll see that we treasure you here. <3


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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  (#8669 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 27th 2016, 06:33 PM

You make me so sad. Why can't you stop. I'm a human being! Why did you lie i thought i mattered!!
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  (#8670 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 27th 2016, 09:17 PM

When I manage to rebuild my life, I will be able to move on. But, I don't know if I'll ever be able to thank you because what you did was not okay. I don't believe we should always try to find the good in everything. Sometimes coming to terms with a bad situation means acknowledging that it sucks. That doesn't make me a victim of my circumstances, it makes me a victim of your actions, and that's what I was.

I don't know how I feel about those who tried or offered to defend me. I turned them all down, not wanting to drag anyone extra or unnecessary into my mess. You did prove that I wasn't crazy, but it ended despite that, so I guess it doesn't matter. I want to think back on you and smile, but it just leaves me torn. You proved that I probably didn't deserve it, which is part of what makes looking back on the whole thing so painful.

I've told you before, and will continue to say, that you could've handled that better. You didn't need the whole story, but you didn't have to turn on me either. I don't blame you, but if you didn't want to help, or get involved, you could've said so. You made one offer in front of witnesses, then told me privately (after I took you up on it), that you didn't actually mean it, going completely against your character and chipping away at my trust. Again, I was treated in a way no one could believe, by someone I never thought would do it and then you ignored me. Completely. For 2 months. I get it, but it hurt like hell. Not to mention, I assume this was discussed at length between you behind my back. I don't know what was said, but I suspect he told you things that probably weren't good about me and maybe what he knew was coming. I know you entered academia. Just remember me, learn from me, and if anything like this ever comes up again, do a better job with them. I know that's who you really are, and it's the only reason I still have an ounce of respect for you. And why I put up that boundary, which has actually saved my reputation multiple times.

I just looked back at everything and GOD I was a pain in the ass! However, that didn't excuse you from using your training in tact and empathy when communicating with me. I can now say that most of you actually did care, but I still don't think my "personality for lack of a better explanation" was a good enough one. I know I wasn't dismissed for my attitude, because if I were, my reputation would be shot, and there were people a lot less mature than I was who got their degree/ license. I was dismissed for "lack of clinical skill", not a personality problem, not a "lack of empathy, or my behavior, and not as a "safety risk". It shouldn't have taken me 18 months to work up to that on my own. You should've told me yourselves.

I might update you again, don't see why not. I still want the helping people and the deep conversations and use of the skills I did have while supporting myself somehow so I can survive. Don't know how realistic that is though.


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Last edited by Kate*; August 29th 2016 at 03:35 AM.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 28th 2016, 11:44 AM

I want to cancel the order. What part of cancel the order do you not understand? I've said this not once but twice, I want to cancel the order. If you do not cancel the order I will take this with a higher and get my money back one way or another. Keeping my money after a failure to deliver after TWO WEEKS is fraud.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 29th 2016, 03:20 AM

Why am I not good enough for you?

Why don't you just tell me! I try so hard to be the best person and I try to be a good friend all the time but why am I just not good enough for you!? Is it because she is more popular, are you really becoming that shallow, I try so hard to always get things to work out but in the end you just don't give a damn. Goodbye
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 30th 2016, 04:00 PM

I love you, and I really hope that I can set an example for you by going to church, going to the temple and receiving priesthood blessings. I want you to feel comfortable and I want you to come back to church.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 31st 2016, 02:52 AM

Normally I'm okay if you don't respond, but for this one I really need you to. Not immediately, you have a life, but soon. Reassure me that what I said isn't true even though I believe it is right now. Comfort me, anything to ease the pain I've been in all day after my normal relief period. I know it's not your job, but since you don't mind me dumping it all on you, this is where it's going. I'll take it, but that one kind of hurt partly because I know that and partly because I'm sensitive right now.


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - August 31st 2016, 02:59 PM

I love you, and I want you to be more comfortable here, but you keep fighting me about it, and I have no idea why.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - September 1st 2016, 04:55 PM

Disability aside, you lied on me, ruined my life, and got away with it. Yet, you have the job you have, that I wanted. Disgusting.

You provoked the crap out of me and then complained about my attitude. Yours was probably worse, the only difference was that you were credentialed and given authority in a profession that gets a free pass. I hope karma kicks your ass someday.

You're complaining because they haven't called you about this and you're sick of having to initiate everything, and if we don't do something she'll complain nonstop for the next 6 months. You know what:

I'm resentful that WE'RE the ONLY ones who have to do this EVERY holiday.

You have to initiate it every time because YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO GIVES A DAMN! NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO DO THIS, EVER.

If she chooses to bitch for the next 6 months, that's her choice, you decide whether to put up with it or not. You ARE allowed to walk out!!!

Now she's going to start threatening not to give us money if we don't. You know what? It's not about the money, I'm getting to the point that you couldn't pay me enough, and she should be more concerned that it takes financial threats to get her own family to deal with her. It's not worth it. I'm BEYOND old enough to make my own choice here, and should be allowed to refuse without the guilt trip. Like mother like daughter I guess.

Yes, I have depression, but I only complain to those willing to listen, I don't do it 24/7, and I don't guilt trip people into dealing with me or use it to manipulate people into doing and giving me what I want.


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - September 3rd 2016, 12:43 PM

I'm sorry i was a jerk. I love you.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - September 3rd 2016, 08:02 PM

Oh my god please do not talk to me about your alternative medicine bullshit. Don't talk to me about medical shit at all. You have full health insurance and yet you're too "lazy" to see an actual doctor. I just fucking can't.



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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - September 4th 2016, 07:25 PM

The world does not revolve around you. You don't have the right to take advantage of us and demand that our lives stop every time you need something or decide you want someone there to sit there while you whine. I know you think you deserve this, but you don't.

Comments like that are what makes me hesitant. I don't need that kind of judgement from closed-minded people who think they have a right to tell me how to live my life and insult me based on less than 1000 words. You don't live her life, he is not your child who the hell do you think you are to judge her decisions!? Yes she chose to share it, but that doesn't give you the right to go off on her like that.

If you don't want to do it that's perfectly fine, but don't make me feel like s**t for considering it myself. You may not consider yourself disabled, but I'm coming to terms with the fact that I am.

I could tell you more than didn't want to go. Part of me hopes it was the nightmare I was expecting.

I have NO IDEA what you're thinking! 2 rules of higher education: no private loans, and no for-profit schools. I warned you more than once and offered to help you look for another school. How that and your school closing for fraud isn't enough to keep you away from another for-profit school, I just don't get it!


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Last edited by Kate*; September 7th 2016 at 04:52 PM.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - September 6th 2016, 01:06 AM

It's entirely possible to not understand something without automatically being critical of it.


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you're a werewolf."
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