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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 12th 2010, 03:55 AM
I don't know what to expect tomorrow. I mean, after the last time we hung out, and other things since, I don't know what will happen. I just really hope things aren't awkward.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 13th 2010, 04:00 AM
So it is offically my birthday. The start of my last year being a teenager. Look at where I began. Look at me now. Who cares? Do I even care? I have to. I am expecting something, but why should I?
Lets make this year, and give it all Ive got. Forget everyone, everyone and everything that ever mattered. Erase all the memories and fill them with new ones.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 13th 2010, 04:39 PM
Why are you starting to back track when you were the one pushing this at the start? Why are you still writing 'i love you' to these girls that are younger than you and you know it'll lead them on? I wish I could trust you but I can't yet. I don't want you to go to the party tonight. I want you to mean what you say, but you don't. Stop trying to make me believe. You're just not true, no matter how much I'd like it to be. </3
I thought I was better at not falling for someone this quickly. I hate myself for this. More than I wish I could hate you.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 13th 2010, 07:35 PM
I really, really, really wanted you to be there for my birthday.
I wanted so badly for you to care. I know you cant come to the city with us, but at least you could have been there.
Dear you,
I dont know where we left off. I didnt think it was on good terms but maybe we can start over. I dont want this year to go like the last. Im sorry. And I hope you are too. And thank you.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 14th 2010, 10:55 PM
there's a lot of people i'll never say things to.
...one is why? its always that, why and how could you act like that?
another is:is this all pretend, or is there something there?
to my mum:i don't know what's wrong with me. i keep falling apart, but i'm fine
but this could go on forever. there's so many things it's impssible to say.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 15th 2010, 12:44 AM
I can't wait to be with you.
I can't wait to hold you.
I can't wait to fall asleep beside you.
I can't wait to kiss you.
I can't wait to tell you how much i love you.
I'll make the past year worth it. The fights, the laughs, the tears.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 15th 2010, 04:17 PM
Dear you,
I want to tell you, I want to show you soooo badly who your boyfriend really is. You texted me today for the first time ever probably. And I wish I could just explain to you what he did to me. I think you ought to know. What he did to me, what he said to me.. How can you possibly be with someone like that. First off, HE CHEATED on you. He came on to me. He kissed me. He touched me. Ugh, you are SO much better than him. I dont understand how after like 3 years of putting up with him you continue to say you love him. I wish we were bette friends so I could tell you what he made me do, what he forced himself on me to do. Im sorry you dont know him better than that. Im sorry I cant tell you this. Im sorry.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 15th 2010, 10:42 PM
OK so I'm jealous. I know I've told you this whole thing is cool, but it's not. I had a month and a half with you. I am not done with this relationship, I can't be. You're still the one I want to be with, the one I want to hold me when I'm upset and tell me everything will be OK, the one I want to spend all day in the bitter cold with washing a car just so your parents will let us go out clubbing, the one who I think of every 5 minutes because absolutely everything reminds me of you. You didn't hurt me. You were perfect. You are perfect. I don't think I can do it - the whole "we'll get with other people" thing. You can, and I'll be jealous but I'll get over it, and maybe I'll let you think I have but I don't want to, the thought of it makes me feel ill. I want to move on, but I don't know how to without you doing something to make me hate you.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 16th 2010, 07:59 PM
You're breaking my heart. But it's okay, I can deal as long as you're happy.
“I can only hope that they’ll turn that anger and frustration and madness into something positive, so that two, three, four, five hundred will step forward, so the gay doctors will come out, the gay lawyers, the gay judges, gay bankers, gay architects … I hope that every professional gay will say ‘enough’, come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know. Maybe that will help.” Harvey Milk, 1978
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 17th 2010, 12:27 AM
Oh, and you're right. There is no love. I do not love you. I haven't for years. I can hardly even find some like for you. I just want you to be far far away. You've made your damn bed, now lye in it.
If the world is a cold place
Make it your business to start some fires
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 17th 2010, 02:30 AM
Dear myself,
Its been a long time since Ive seen you like this. Weeks, months, maybe even a year or so. I dont know what has gotten into you but you are better than this. You are better than that handfull of pills you just swallowed. You are better than the shots you took to wash them down. I know tonights just a slip up and not a step back to the person you were, the person you hated yourself for.
Just lay in bed and try not to focus on Him.. He can not hurt you anymore. At least dont let Him. Try to just fall asleep, shut your eyes and pray never to wake up. Maybe you wont ever wake up.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 17th 2010, 03:48 AM
I love you just how you are. I don't mind that you used to be the way you used to be, i don't mind about the scars. I don't mind the distance or any issues you can think of. You always say how strong i am, how you wish you could be this "strong". I'm strong because of you. I'm strong because of the way you make me feel, the way that yours always there for me. I love you so much. And the things we've been though, i would do it all again if i had too. You know i'm always here for you no matter what. And i know your always here for me too and that's why i'm so strong, because of you. Your my reason i'm still here. And i'm never letting go.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 18th 2010, 02:18 AM
I know you think I overreact to things, and I know this is something so small and stupid... but... you never wished me a happy birthday. You were pretty much the only person who didn't. Even some people I haven't spoken to in years managed to send me a quick message. 'Happy birthday, Chess.' 'Hope you have a great day, Chess.' 'You deserve to have some fun, Chess.'
But, obviously, that was too hard for you. Wasn't it?
You just don't appreciate how much effort I put into yours. I was up early, I gave you something I'd only ever shown to one person before (and you were the first perrson I actually gave a copy to), I made sure you had a good day.
And you couldn't even be bothered to wish me a happy birthday.
And you two, even though you guys managed to wish me a happy birthday, you didn't get me anything. It's stupid, I know. I'm being selfish. I know, dammit. But still, you're my friends. And even when I gave you your presents... nothing. Nothing. Absolutely nothing!
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 18th 2010, 06:13 AM
So, yeah, here's the deal. I really did not need your pep talk. Your stupid 'You don't know good your life is and you have so many opportunities in front of you' speech made me want to kill myself.
And I can just picture all you smug little doctors, if I tried and failed. I'd be sitting there, and you'd see only the Surface Me. You'd sit there, all high and mighty, wondering why this silly little girl tried to kill herself.
"You have good grades. You have your whole life ahead of you. You have friends who care about you. You are blessed and you are lucky and you don't even know the first thing about sadness, or hopelessness, or death. So whyever would you want to kill yourself?"
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 18th 2010, 06:37 AM
P: YOU CONFUSE ME, TO NO END! One moment, you're all into me, and the idea of being with me, another moment you're telling me you'd never be able to live in the same place as me since I'd stress you, you'd stress me, and FUCK, you keep going BACK AND FORTH between it! How long is it going to take you to figure things out? I can't wait forever! Just fucking admit the only reason you ACT like you're interested in me is because you're hoping to get a piece. Newsflash, I want a COMMITMENT, not to be a ONE-NIGHT STAND!
J: I doubt you'll make it up here to see me. Just admit it now, please, instead of misleading me.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 19th 2010, 02:19 AM
I'm still so angry at you, even though it's been a year now. The way you ended things was cruel, you promised to be there for me - boyfriend or just friend and that never materialised did it?
I'm frustrated you still havn't got in touch, and the fact that you've had two relationships in the space of 9 months rips me up inside. It totally shouldn't, i know..
On the other hand i feel sorry for your partners, to have to put up with all your bullshit.
Your a self centred piece of shit and the worse thing? You know and are proud of it.
Where the fuck did your humanity go?
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 19th 2010, 04:00 AM
gah what do i do?! i don't want anyone else to have you! your mine! but why can't you just want me? it really hurts me. i know i don't show it i know i put on a face. but. please?
" One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering. "
i wonder when i'll finally jsut start accepting myself, when i'll stop saying i wish i could be like that person.
i have facebook, and myspace. and you can ask for it. :P
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 19th 2010, 07:00 AM
That's why I've told you and not him. Because you can't help me. He could, if he wanted to. He won't, of course, and who can blame him? Anyway, there's nothing you can really do. Which makes it safe to confide in you, you know? God forbid I should actually ask for help from somebody who could really help me.
By the way, I heard back from my counsellor today. For the last time. No more reaching out for help.
And all this emotional crap, all this trying to help people and save them and junk... yeah, that's over too. I can't save myself, so, you were right, you were all right, I was a hypocrite for trying to help any of you, so now, yup, that's the end of that. *dusts hands off*
So, do not try to help me. Do not try to get me talk about my feelings. Better yet, don't try to get me to talk at all. I'm... nothing. Nothing at all. I feel nothing, I mean nothing, I deserve nothing.
The girl you thought you knew? Yeah. She's dead. Meet the new me.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 19th 2010, 11:12 PM
Don't let me back in your life so easily. I'm a monster.
Life is to short to put it off anymore
You gotta live it before it’s too late
I can’t turn that clock back around
On what you’re dreaming about
You better do it now, don’t wait Do something crazy and dumb, while your still young. <3