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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 28th 2010, 08:12 PM
I wish I could make you understand that I did what I did for you and not me.
I only wanted to not hurt you and to be friends and it backfired in my face, hopefully you can forgive me.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 28th 2010, 10:32 PM
I hope my decisions now don't fuck up my future.
When all your friends have come and gone,
And the sun no longer shines,
And the happiness for which you long is washed away like an ocean's tide,
When all the hard times outweigh the good,
And all your words are misunderstood,
When the day seems lost from the start
You must follow your heart,
You must follow your heart.
Last edited by Beth.; March 28th 2010 at 10:43 PM.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 29th 2010, 06:08 AM
I'm sorry I do nothing but hurt you ... I've told you before that I'm not willing to change ... so stop trying to change me!
Regardless of what you all think, I'm a pretty nice person ... who has close friends who love and respect me for who I am!! I just wish you weren't so close to me that I end up taking what you say to me to heart, I do some pretty horrible stuff to make you like who I am!!
I wish you'd duck off and leave me alone ... I don't want you in my life anymore, I just wish you could see that you are no good for me!
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 29th 2010, 08:29 PM
I can only imagine how tired you've grown of me telling you how much I love you, so I guess I'll just write it all down.
Baby,
you make me smile more than anyone that I've ever met. i can't even explain the feeling i get when i talk to you. i can't wait to see you! i've been waiting for this for so long. when i think about you, i lose my breath and it's like the rest of the world doesn't even matter anymore. all these dumb cliches that i used to hate in the past, i see that they're true now. you made them true. from the first word i ever spoke to you, from the first smile, i knew it was real. i love you.
and i have a billion more things i would love to write, but i need to go write you back (:
i love you. forever, and ever, and ever. <3(:
When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 30th 2010, 07:39 PM
This might sound silly, but it actually meant so much to me that you took the time to apologise last night. Over something soooo tiny and soo stupid as well. I'm sorry for overreacting, but I can just see things actually gonig somewhere with us and I just can't, I can't let this go the same way as the last one, and I know I did the right thing, otherwise my whole evenning would have been tainted. But you're so nice. And i really want to see you at lunch tomorrow because then I won't have to wait til Thursday...and you're soooo hotttttttt
Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
.....
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 30th 2010, 10:38 PM
The more you talk, the more I realize I made the right decision. You don't listen to me, you don't care how I feel. Your selfish. Every conversation we have had since then has been such a lost cause and waste yet I can't let you be or stop trying to help. Even though it's just making me hurt more and more. It's only making me more frustrated. Thanks for nothing, honestly.
When all your friends have come and gone,
And the sun no longer shines,
And the happiness for which you long is washed away like an ocean's tide,
When all the hard times outweigh the good,
And all your words are misunderstood,
When the day seems lost from the start
You must follow your heart,
You must follow your heart.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 31st 2010, 12:04 AM
You're an ignorant, lying, dramatic, self centered,two faced, backstabbing, stupid, immature, irresponsible, bitch. I seriously don't think I have ever hated somebody, except for you. You knew he was trying to stay away from that shit, and you took him right to it. Ever since we started, you had it out for us. Newsflash, YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO GET HIM. He finds you revolting and disgusting, he's told me straight up. Just because you have a miserable life, doesn't mean you have to take people with potential down with you. Get over yourself. Stop trying to start shit. Oh, and you say your life is so hard, it's probably because you don't commit to getting better. You know that drugs and alcohol are bringing you down, you've said it and admitted it yourself, but you still revolve your life around them. You abuse your anti depressants, you don't go to school, and you treat people who care about you and love you like SHIT. You literally THRIVE off of drama, you've said it yourself.
You are a HORRIBLE person.
I swear to god, you better stay the hell out of my life and not cross my path, or all of this will be said straight to your face, again. You obviously didn't learn the first time, and I promise the second time around will be ten times worse. You're so lucky there were people there to hold me back. SO lucky.
ARRRGGGHHH.
__DEVINxLEIGH,
---
"Sometimes I have moments in life,
where I am able to forget for one minute,
exactly how lonely I am.
I live for those moments.
Is that pathetic or brave?"
---
Last edited by CANDLEJA-; March 31st 2010 at 12:09 AM.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 31st 2010, 02:20 AM
Um, I could not care less about anything you have to say. You are obnoxious, annoying, and have a gigantic stick up your ass. I do not care that you have a boyfriend; your relationship resembles that of two insecure 12-year-olds, and everyone sees it. Just because he thinks you're hot does not mean you now have friends and therefore can now be mean to people whom you no longer need. You seriously have, like, one friend, so be careful. Anyway, if you could just keep your mouth shut for the next two months when you're around me, I think well both be MUCH better off. Kthx! (:
Everything sucks. Might as well find something to smile about.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 31st 2010, 10:56 AM
Gotta LOVE how you think you can blatantly lie to me and I won't find out. How CONVENIENT that you always have an excuse, no matter how suspicious you are. Either ADMIT you have someone else in your life, and/or just FUCK OFF!
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
March 31st 2010, 04:22 PM
I am SO mad at you for leaving me with no piano music when the photocopies had to be handed in!! I mean what kind of teacher buggers off on holiday at a time like that? Now I've had to change my recital programme and I can't play it anymore. It's caused me to cry, hit myself in anger, even damage Florence and it's cost me £90 to get her fixed in secret. I was so on track, I was beginning to think I was getting somewhere. Now I spend most of my hour and a half in the practice room crying. I BLAME YOU M G !!! I fucking hate music
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 1st 2010, 03:25 AM
What the hell do you want from me??
"You've just been B-Wildered." -Brian Wilson <3
Trumpet love; Tenderlips.
"Where there is love there is life."- Mahatma Gandhi
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 1st 2010, 04:32 AM
I think I am done trying. I don't want to give up on my ED because without it I will be fat. I really don't get it because I am so damn happy but I have this need to purge and starve. I don't want to ever be as fat as I used to again. If I eat I will get like that.
If I am fat no guy will ever love me. I won't be pretty if I can't lose weight. Just a little bit more and I will be good. Then I won't need this anymore! Is it so bad I doon't want to stop? I think not. It will make me beautiful!
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 1st 2010, 11:55 PM
you know every time i know i'm going to hang out with you i starve myself for at least a day, right?
you know i cancel on you if you want to hang out on late notice because i'm not skinny enough, right?
you know that my hunger for you is more important than my hunger, right?
shh rumbling tummy, this boy is more important.
...right?
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 2nd 2010, 03:22 AM
You really don't understand, do you? Do you think this is okay? I want my kids to know their grandma, but I honestly see that slipping away. There is a huge part of of that wants to say 'fuck it' and leave. I kind of want to go really far away and never come back. I'm just so fucking tired of being treated like this. Can you not see what this is doing to us? Can you not try to understand? You know, even if you respected me enough not to beat around the bush and give of a bunch of contradictory bullshit when it's obvious what your real motivation is, that would help so much. I'm not going to pretend that I'm totally innocent here, but you're the fucking adult, act like it. I can hardly keep myself together, you can't expect me to work on this. I sent you the link, use it. I don't want to lose you, but I'm just not strong enough to fix this. I don't want to give up, but the way things are, I'm not sure I can hold on to this. I'm done, I'm almost ready to move on. Don't let me go.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 2nd 2010, 07:43 PM
do you seriously not understand? i've done everything that i possibly can to be with you? and i feel like you're still sitting there playing me. but you know what? i keep fucking holding on because i love you. no matter that i cry myself to sleep everything, no matter that every morning i wake up crying, no matter the days where i just fall on the ground because i can't take this anymore, i hold onto this. just because i know that when we hang out, it'll be worth it. you know what? i'm just going to be honest. i feel like you just use me for your own enjoyment. and i'm pretty sure you do. half the time you say the sweetest things, and half the time you act like you've been saying those things to different girls ALL DAY LONG. you're such a player i bet, and i just keep ignoring it. i just keep pretending that i don't fucking care because i want to be with you so badly. i need you in my life, but you just don't understand how much i fucking mean this.
i need you. and i feel like you're playing me.
UGH. FUCK. ):
WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I LOVE YOU? WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I GAVE UP EVERYTHING FOR YOU, AND IT OBVIOUSLY MEANS NOTHING TO YOU. /////////:
..i'm gonna go cry some more..
When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 4th 2010, 07:54 PM
To the Stupid Wanker in the nightclub: ~
No, I was NOT kissing her for attention. I was kissing her because she was pretty and sweet and she had a cute English accent and I WANTED to kiss her. Jesus fucking christ, men really think that everything women do is just for them, don't they??? Fuck's sake. FUCK YOU, CUNT.
Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
.....
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 5th 2010, 12:33 AM
You know what you caze? I REALLY DO NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU KEEP GOING ON ABOUT! I just CANNOT WAIT to graduate, get away from here, and hopefully, off of these shitty meds that really do NOT make me feel much different!
"Others say there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just say Crud, there isn't... I'm stuck in this stupid revolving door..." -Me
PM me anytime you want to talk about anything.And I mean ANYTHING AT ALL!
Formerly achava_elah_18
Been in love since May 2008
Fellow SI,Autism-Spectrum,Depression,Anxiety,Musical,Trichotilloman ia Person. Basically, I'm ME!
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 5th 2010, 12:36 AM
I wish you would get on my level and try to be a bit nicer. All I hear from you is how I need to stop eating like a pig, how I need to exercise, how I don't do sh!t around the house, how I need to do this and that. I do a lot, and you don't even see that.
You also need to be nicer to mum. I've had to put up with her crying for what you have done. You should probably think before you say something.
And while I'm at it, you should probably be a bit more disciplinary on Adam, you treat him like your golden child. ugg
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 5th 2010, 01:08 AM
Thanks. Thanks for ruining fucking Easter. I started out wishing everyone a Happy Zombie Jesus Day, having fun, smiling... Then you had to FUCK IT UP with your goddamn temper! OH NO, something didn't go perfectly so you're going to have a fucking HISSY FIT?! And for what? Something thats not even MY FAULT! In fact, for the past, well, close to a MONTH, you've yelled at me almost EVERY FUCKING DAY! For stupid shit, too! Mostly things that AREN'T MY FAULT! You treat me more like your fucking MAID than your daughter, and I am SICK OF IT. In fact, I've come to the point where I feel like saying "I Love You" is a lie! I've been tempted to punch you SO MANY TIMES, but luckily held back. I NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS HOUSE! And at this time, I don't care. I WILL BE OUT THIS YEAR, even if it means slicing my own fucking throat open!
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 5th 2010, 08:38 PM
You stupid stupid prick! I love you and I want you back, and I need you and you hurt me and why does this have to be dificult. Why cant you just say "i love you, come back" and be with me forever? why am i paying so badly for mistakes??!!! It's not liek I meant to screw up! x
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 5th 2010, 11:59 PM
You're too blinded by my rejection to believe that my love was real. But the truth is that I did, and even though I can't love you the same way I did then, I do love and value you and miss you. The only way I can explain what happened between us is this:
Things were perfect. I loved you, and you loved me. We fit together. You loving me, taught me to value myself more than I had ever done. It wasn't much, but it was enough to change me, change my lifestyle.
Then... there was trouble. I panicked, of course.
Because whenever there has been trouble in my life, I only ended up getting hurt.
You were going to hurt me. Sure, it was more about you wanting to die, but I couldn't imagine how much it would hurt. I'd just found you. Found myself. I didn't want to lose any of it. But I didn't want to be the one left behind, I didn't want that hurt.
So I pushed you away, out of my system. You came to your senses, told me you were ok, but I didn't know how to put things back in place. I was afraid. so, fucking afraid. In the space of two months, you'd turned my whole world around, and then, unexpectedly, upside down.
Then she died, and you left. And I had nothing. my love, my best friend, had both diappeared out of my life, and I couldn't bring either of you back. after that... it's all very two sided. I dont know enough or remember enough of those months to tell you why things are how they are now.
I just know this: The first time you txt me saying you were going to buy a suit, get a nice haircut, and OD, I told you, if you die, So will I. that stopped you. You didn't want me dead...
But then a few months later, you actually did it. you topped yourself. So what does that tell me?
Apart from the fact that I was minutes away from losing you forever, that it mostly my fault you wanted to die?
It told me that you no longer cared if I died or not.
And all of those things put together were... unbearable. I just dont have words for the rest. But if you think I got over you, moved on easily, you're wrong. You're so fucking wrong.
If I could get,
Another chance
Another Walk
Another Dance
with him
I would play a song
that would never ever end
I would love, love, love,
To dance with my father again.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 6th 2010, 03:16 PM
I'm really sorry about that...I feel bad because I don't really regret it and I liked kissing her. This is difficult, you know. That I've only been single for a little while but here I am again not able to kiss just anyone....not that I really want to, I only really want to kiss you. But it just feels a little weird because we're not going out.
Whatever, though. I reallyreally like you, and it's ok because I don't particularly want to kiss anyone that's not you. But after our talk last night....does that mean you're GOING to ask at some stage...?? I was left a bit confused..but I didn't want to make things any more awkward...
I'm really sorry for hurting you, though, because you don't deserve that, and hat's the last thing I want to do. I want to show you that you can trust me.
Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
.....
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 6th 2010, 07:49 PM
The more I try to get over you, the stronger my feelings for you grow... To be completely honest, the only reason I get up in the morning is because I know I'll see you...
“I can only hope that they’ll turn that anger and frustration and madness into something positive, so that two, three, four, five hundred will step forward, so the gay doctors will come out, the gay lawyers, the gay judges, gay bankers, gay architects … I hope that every professional gay will say ‘enough’, come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know. Maybe that will help.” Harvey Milk, 1978