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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 19th 2011, 04:17 PM
I still have feelings for you...
Even after all the shit we've been through...
Why? Why do I still love you?
You told me to stay alive because you would kill yourself if I died...
You told me to stay at home and not runaway because you wanted me to stay alive so you could hold me close again...
I am sooo sorry for all the shit that I said about you....
And I want you to come home.
I...
I love you.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 20th 2011, 12:58 AM
I'm so scared of leaving you here while I move an hour and a half away. I'm scared you're going to resort back to drugs and ruin your life while I'm enjoying my time at college and making money for our future and completing degrees to help me get the future I want.
Mom, I know you think "letting go" is the answer. You always say that. But you never tell me how. How do I let go? How can I just let it all go? HOW?!
J, been thinking about you. You're in basic training now. Not like I care. Every thought I think about you is terrible and I don't wanna think it. Pretty much what I think about is the last act of abuse. You looking me in the eyes and holding me as tight as you could. You said that you'd kill me and then kill yourself so we can be with our baby girl. Those words haunt me every f*cking day. I never told anyone about it because very few people know about our daughter. I hate you. I hate what you did to me. I hate who I am because of you.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 20th 2011, 01:07 AM
Dude, you're like a brother to me. Of course we're going to hang out before you're deployed, but please, please, PLEASE don't say you have any feelings for me. I have the feeling you do but I have a boyfriend. I don't want things to get weird between us.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 20th 2011, 02:33 AM
I DON'T want help. I'm tired of trying to make you happy, i'm tired of pretending. Please just leave me alone. I wish you didn't have to bother me so much about this. your kinda making it hard to just kill myself and end everything. But I'm beginning to not care about what you think.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 21st 2011, 02:20 AM
You called me a big fat liar today as a joke. Couldn't you have left out the fat part? Couldn't you have just called me a big liar? I know I'm fat but I never expected to hear that from you. I'm going to work out extra hard tomorrow just because I'm fat to you. I want you to think I'm beautiful.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 21st 2011, 04:01 AM
Thinking that you might have emphysema scared the crap out of me. I can't lose you!! You're the first person in our family that I've really felt a connection to. You have no idea how much that's helped me grow and get better. Watching you become a chain smoker is hurting me so much because I know it's going to kill you in the end. Please quit smoking, Rose. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for me. Please.
wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 21st 2011, 05:19 AM
We're happy right now. I hate that it's because I've allowed you to smoke more. But I do appreciate you not smoking when I ask. & I am working on trusting you. But overall, we're happy. Please don't ruin it.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 21st 2011, 02:58 PM
I cut myself last night. I'm so sorry. I'm not good enough for you and you deserve so much better than a self-harmer who doesn't give a shit about herself.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 21st 2011, 03:45 PM
I take back what I said about you going into Marine Training Camp after you graduate. I hope you do well because I know that's what you want and I know you're strong and you're determined. And I actually hope you do get stationed in Arizona. Maybe that would stop me from wanting to cut, from running away, from hating myself, from missing you, and from hating you.
Because I love you. It's been a year and nothing's changed. I still love you.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 22nd 2011, 12:57 PM
I lied to you like a million times. I still love you. I think I always have. I keep thinking I'm over it, you moved we broke up now I'm here and we're still apart. I keep thinking I'm fine with it. I told you I'd met a few people and I have, but every single time it falls apart and when I think about why even after one date I don't want to see them again it's because they aren't you. You're not perfect, not close, but I still think you are. I would do anything for you and anything for you to love me back. But I can't. So for now I'll sit here quietly being your friend. Because every now and then you look at me like you used to, like you're seeing a glimpse of what I was, what we were. I just pray if you ever love me again, you tell me because I'm pretty sure I'm going nowhere fast. I will wait here until it happens. I'm sorry that's desperate and weird and clingy. But I love you. And over the last two years I've tried to change that but I can't it won't go away and I'm sick of trying to make it.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 23rd 2011, 02:53 AM
Please... find a way to come down here for the Renaissance Fair. Am I scared of what might happen? Yeah. Will I be satisfied if I just see you and I don't tell you I still have feelings for you. Yes. But please... I can't fucking do this anymore, I just - I can't. There is no me without you. You have to realize that.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 23rd 2011, 03:50 AM
C- Are you trying to rub it in my face? Posting online about how you think you're pretty and you can like yourself and that you're okay with how you look? I hate you for that sometimes. Our roles are completely reversed. Why am I the one struggling?
M- Sometimes I have nightmares while I'm awake about you. I don't even know if you were telling the truth about any of that, but...there's still that chance. So please be okay. If you aren't okay...maybe I'm not either.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 23rd 2011, 06:20 AM
What happened? You were the closest guy friend I've ever had; and that is saying something. I trust nearly nobody, especially guys. However I could tell you anything and everything in my life and you'd be there. I don't remember what happened before my concussion, but now you refuse to talk to me. You say you don't give a f*** if my concussion kills me, but you don't want to hear from me. And you may be moving back to Germany next year.
I want you to know that you are the only guy I could ever say "I love you" about and mean it. Your strong hugs, how you are always there, your sense of humour, and how much you care. I miss you, I love you, and I will always be here. As stupid as it may be, I have no choice. My heart is attached to you.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 23rd 2011, 09:03 AM
im not happy with friends with benifits!
could we try an open relationship? x
"Life isn't about how popular you are... What girl or boy you are dating or who you know. Life is about always being true to who you are or what you believe in. Never let anyone convince you that their way is better than your way. In the end all we have is our hearts... and our minds. This is the reason why we sing... this is the reason why we cry... this is why we live."
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 23rd 2011, 09:05 AM
your cute
"Life isn't about how popular you are... What girl or boy you are dating or who you know. Life is about always being true to who you are or what you believe in. Never let anyone convince you that their way is better than your way. In the end all we have is our hearts... and our minds. This is the reason why we sing... this is the reason why we cry... this is why we live."
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 23rd 2011, 11:02 AM
Nana:I'm sorry,for everything and I'm hurting really bad...I love you and miss you everyday. </3
Shawn*Dad*: Put the bottle down for the love of a daughter </3
Allow yourself to develop in all aspects of life- cut out from toxic people and realize it's for the best. Love yourself endlessly, and even if you don't love yourself right now, fake it until you do.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 23rd 2011, 03:10 PM
I'm still upset over what happened at Homecoming. You dirty danced with one of my friends, right in front of me. Both of you knew my feelings for you. I only broke up with you because it isn't fair to push myself into a relationship I'm not ready for and it isn't fair for you to be dating someone who isn't ready. Did you dry hump her to spite me? Was it because I danced with the boy who asked me to dance? If so you couldn't know what happened between him and I. He asked me to dance, I said yes. We slow danced, his hands stayed on my waist, he didn't try anything. He asked me to kiss him, but he took no for an answer. That's it. That is all that happened. He asked me out in front of you and I told him no, I'm not ready to be in a relationship. Later you told me that Torrie said she'll have sex with you. I got a text from her the next day asking if it's okay for her to go out on a date with you. I thought she was going to ask, I was wrong. You asked her. I warned you about her, I told you everything she'd try to push you to do but you didn't listen. And guess what? I was right. Your mothers found out. They saw the dirty texts. Now you've lost your phone, no longer allowed to talk to her. And I'm glad.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 23rd 2011, 04:41 PM
Katie, I love you. Wait, you know that already. Well then, how about I'm IN love with you? I don't want you to hurt anymore, I would do ANYTHING to make sure you're happy and safe and away from the people that caused your depression. It's hard to live without seeing you face to face very often even though we text practically everyday. Going to college in different states is hard for me. You're the only person I've fallen for quite this hard, please understand this and stop leading me on if you won't do anything about it. I love you, come back to me. <3
"Once in a while we have to do something that scares us. Whoever says that what I want to do /doesn't/ scare me to death, is wrong. It scares me so much more than that."
If you have any questions about ghosts, spirits, Wicca, earth angels or if you just want to talk, PM me. I can help.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 23rd 2011, 11:38 PM
I want him to notice that whenever I eat dinner, I always take a shower afterward. I want him to notice that I cry before dinner if we're going out somewhere. I want him to realize that I skip breakfast and I always have extra cash because I don't spend my lunch money. I want him to notice that my cheeks are swollen and I call myself fat all the time. I want him to notice that clothes that use to fit don't anymore. I want him to stop me before I can't stop myself. I'm more concerned with not gaining any weight rather than losing it, and sometimes I'm normal. Sometimes I don't care about eating, it's fine. But when I get an urge, it's terrible. I can't control myself. I don't care who hears me or suspects anything, I run up to the bathroom and bring everything back up. I've done it at home, at familys' houses, at friends' houses, at school, at the mall, at the movie theater. I want her to notice that whenever I eat something at lunch I push myself harder in gym next period. I want her to notice that I always weigh myself when we're in the weight room. I want her to notice that I only weigh myself when no one else is around me. I want her to realize that when I tell her to hit the ball, or birdie, whatever we're doing, to make it go far enough that I have to run a lot, that I hide the fact that I'm out of breath so she'll do it again and again. I want it to be a friend who confronts me, not the girl in my gym class who threatens to tell the nurse every time I come back into the locker room out of breath and can't catch it for a few minutes. I want a friend to prove to me that they care enough to stop me.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 24th 2011, 12:20 AM
"Mom"- why wont you just stop pretending? stop acting like you care, like you want to know whats going on in my life. You have already proved your point that you dont care so quick wrecking my life and leave me alone already. You are causing so much saddness and stress that I really don't need right now.
2nd family-Words can't even begin to express the gratitude I have for you guys. You came into my life when everyone else was leaving me and you have stuck by me ever since. Even at my darkest hour you were all there for me. You have helped make this all so much easier to deal with and you have come and saved me when times get stressful. I can't even begin to explain how appreciative I am for you. I love you guys so much <3
C and others from my church- thank you so much for all you have done to help me through this, and all youre continuing to do to help me. I really and honestly don't know what I would do without you. All of you have saved my life at one point or another, and I so greatly appreciate it. I love you all so much I just don't understand it.
G- Thanks for being such a great friend and always being there for me to vent to. Its nice to have someone I can count on like you. I love you dear <3
People at my school (no names)- quit spreading my shit around school. when i talk to you, its supposed to be between us. now you have caused a bunch of shit that didnt need to happen. so thanks for ruining my life and making things worse. and thanks for making me lose trust in everyone here. its so greatly appreciated.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 24th 2011, 01:25 AM
you say im ur best frined im glad i am but i want to be more then friends my bf is an ass im ending it with him please say u love me back please
victoria bankson the person who will always be there for you
they tell me they love me
and yet
they use me then leave me
in an old scary ally
where i have to hide
to stay alive then
on day the new prince will come
and i believe that hes different
but he does the same thing all the rest have done
then comes the boy i've known all my life
he takes me home and teaches me to live
and we end up falling in love
NOW if only i could believe that
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 24th 2011, 04:44 AM
I'm not ready to forgive you yet. I really do hate that you told on me but I think I hate myself more. I can't seem to hate you guys and I really wish I could. (it would make things a lot easier) For whatever reason though I cant hate you...IthinkImightevenloveyou. That being said I can feel this new distance between us and things are awkward between us. I dont' know how to make that go away and maybe only time will fix it but I really wish it would go away. It's starting to make me question things again and I think you are questioning them too. Maybe we're trying too hard or something I just...I wish things would go back to the way they were but you can't turn back time...
Mom, Dad....I love you more then anything and you are amazing parents to me. I'm sorry for everything I've put you through and I'm sooooo sorry you had to find out this way. If I would've known he was going to call you I would've begged him not to. This is exactly what I was trying to protect you from. I guess in lots of ways I feel like I've failed now that you know. I've tried soooo hard to protect you from this and I tried sooo hard not for this to happen because I know what it was like when my brother was depressed and harming himself and I know what it did to our family. I guess I'm just glad I'm not living at home because its a lot easier to convince you that I'm okay when I don't have to see the hurt look in your eyes and know that Dad's looking right through it.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 24th 2011, 04:36 PM
You have no idea how hard its been for me watching u spiral out of control. You have no idea how hard Ive been fighting going back to cutting and thoughts of suicide. Seeing you get worse and talk about the bridge, was only pushing me closer. I just wanted you to get help. I love you more then you will ever understand. And I didnt feel like I had any other choice. I'm sorry I hurt you, but im not sorry for what I did
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 25th 2011, 06:18 AM
Wow. you are beyond pathetic. Your complaining about about bf leaving you. still. that was in May. srsly. get over it. you were a selfish controlling bitch to him. geez. you "wish times weren't so hard" oh really? get the freak over yourself.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 25th 2011, 06:29 PM
You said if I promised I wouldn't run away but did anyway, you'd track me down, take me back home, and then tell me you won't have a single thing to do with me ever again... You have no idea how much that hurt me to hear you say that. And I said, I promise, but I don't know if I can keep that promise... I love you...
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 25th 2011, 07:57 PM
JT.
I love you. I love you I love you I love you.
You don't realise how much I love you.
I'm not IN love with you, nor will I ever be.
But I love you.
And it's bad because I love you like a father, even though I love my father the world.
I love you.
And I wish you loved me too.
I wish I wasn't just a stupid immature 15 year old girl.
I love you.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 25th 2011, 08:01 PM
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU if you're going to moan about her 24/7, get angry, scare my friend, be rude, alienate us from the group, or continue to be so self-absorbed. Just saying.