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  (#6041 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 1st 2012, 11:08 PM
Kim! Just leave me alone! If you don't like me then stop talking to me. To be honest I hate talking to you, but I don't want to be rude so I keep the conversation going. Stop telling people crap about me! It isn't going to make me feel better about life!

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-Goodnight Tonight
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  (#6042 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 1st 2012, 11:36 PM
I'm trying so hard. Help me, here...
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  (#6043 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 2nd 2012, 02:32 PM
.......help me understand. dear god kid, make up your mind. Please, matthew. either you love me or you don't....
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  (#6044 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 2nd 2012, 03:43 PM
DREW! YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME! Sure, I'm a couple years younger than you, but it's not like it's 4 years. I'm dying to kiss you, your so flippin' kissable. Dude, I'm in love with you. One day, im going to kiss you, cause i cant hold back for much longer. Your very KISSABLE! We'd be adorable together. People want us together. Just flippin date me! I love you

It takes more courage to suffer than to die.

I'm here for you, no madder what happens. PM/email me anytime: onlymclarsfan@gmail.com

WE DECIDED MY BEST INTEREST, how can you know, how can you say what MY BEST INTEREST is? What are you trying to say, I'm crazy? Well, I went to your schools, I went to your Churches, I went to your institutional learning facility, so how can you say that I'M crazy? (Suicidal Tendencies)

<3 <3 <3
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  (#6045 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 3rd 2012, 03:24 AM
You saw my arm. YOU SAW MY FUCKING ARM. Why didn't you say anything? And today could've been the last day I saw you because I fucking tried to kill myself today. And I have such a huge crush on you that it hurts... why don't you care about me?

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  (#6046 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 3rd 2012, 03:29 AM
....no Matthew...somethings wrong. I'm not fine, I'm not exactly okay. I love you. That's whats wrong.
and no, i can't tell you that, either....
so I'll just keep lying.... that's okay Matthew..... "I'm Fine"
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  (#6047 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 3rd 2012, 09:49 AM
OMG, you are so fucking amazing K, I would love it if one day we'd be lying in your bed and we could kiss. Your body is amazing, your voice sends shivers down my spine. You are the first girl I'd ever want to be with and I can't even tell you.

Sure, I am fine teachers, I am not struggling at me. But I'm fine is my perfect lie. I can slap on that smile even when I don't want to and say it without the tell-tale signs of a lie.

Jay.

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  (#6048 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 4th 2012, 02:04 AM
its just fucking pizza..why the hell did you have to do and say all that? hyd you have to kick my stuff around? throw shit all over the place? kick averything around? yell and scream and shout all of that? ITS JUST PIZZA! and you broke something of mine durring that. something special. thanks. and this morning i acctually got a little bit of respect for you. its gone now, ya know. and thanks for yelling at me just now because of the sink. when i loaded the dishwasher, ran it, emptied it, loaded it, ran it, and emptied it again. and thanks for throwing my homework all over the livingroom. now i have to reorganize it. and fix anything that might have gotten messed up when you walked all over it. cant we go one day, ONE. FUCKING. DAY. without anyone yelling at each other? now i have to clean up your mess. and pretend everythings okay. that i dont want to cut. that i dont feel like im about to cry. that i dont want to puke up the pizza i ate. that i dont want to curl up in a ditch and die. just because of a fucking pizza. and you.

formerly snowstorm, GoneBeyondRepair, and Breathless in Love
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  (#6049 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 4th 2012, 03:15 AM
R, I wish you weren't a lesbian. If only you were at least a bi, I would take all the risks in the world to be with you, and forget about everything else. Because despite telling myself I don't want to be together with you everyday because you'll never want the same, I can't bring myself to believing in what I'm saying. And regardless of how many girlfriends I have, or you have, I'll always see you as the one who got away, because I had no way to keep you. So please just tell me you're actually somewhat bi, and give me a 1% chance of so much as kissing you. Because I'm sure that will be more then enough.


I have trichotillomania and slight traces of OCD. I think of myself as friendly, and I'll gladly answer any PM's .


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STAY STRONG
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  (#6050 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 5th 2012, 06:45 PM
Why is this hitting me now? It was like a punch in the face to realize what you did to me was sexual assault. But it probably doesn't matter now. I don't even know where you are anymore. Most likely in jail since the last time I saw you, years ago, you had said you had just gotten out from there and you had a new girl on your arm. Even now everytime I think about it, I feel sick. But of course, I couldn't have known you just wanted an easy way to get what you wanted. I was thirteen and clueless after all.

Why was I relieved to find out you weren't moving away? I know you have to live your own life and I can't stop you but it just seems like I'll lose a part of myself when you move. Maybe because I'm so used to having you so close.

You're amazing. But for some reason, I can't seem to take the next step with you. I know you'll wait as long as it takes but I'm just not ready. The very thought of it just makes me terrified. Why? I shouldn't be if I'm with you, but I am.....
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  (#6051 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 5th 2012, 07:58 PM
i miss you so much, and i know the only way im going to get to see you is by getting you pills. but im willing to do it...just to see you for a little bit, even a moment. I want you in every single way. I wish you felt the same!

The Unicorn
-The beautiful white horse with the magical horn that heals. <3
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  (#6052 (permalink)) Old
walk around in O O O O
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 5th 2012, 09:59 PM
challenge accepted, motherfucker.
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  (#6053 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 5th 2012, 10:26 PM
so sorry.. i know im the worst person ever. i dont blame you if you hate me. i deserve it. i deserve to be punished in the worst way possible for this. just please.. know that im really sorry. i cant ever forgive myself for this. you dont have to either. just please.. know im sorry... thats all i ask.. and pleast dont hate caleb for it.. he didnt do anything wrong. it was all me... and im so sorry</3

formerly snowstorm, GoneBeyondRepair, and Breathless in Love
Repose en Paix, Grandad/mom H., Sito, Nay, Mary, Aunt S., Peter, Katie, Lexi, Mrs. Radoye, Mandii, Trevor, Megan, Uncle T., Erika, Aunt R., Braxton, Connie, Adam, Grandpa, Buttons, Aunt Barb, Pi, Grandma ♥
The world will bleed its bloody tale. People will throw their stones. But the one thing you must always remember is:
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-Blake Bliss
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  (#6054 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 5th 2012, 11:04 PM
I hate you and I want to kill you. Thank you, have a nice day.

Jay.

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My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!
When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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  (#6055 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 5th 2012, 11:23 PM
I hate you. You fucking bitch. How could you do that to him??


A beautiful thing is never perfect.

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  (#6056 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 5th 2012, 11:55 PM
From what I can gather/overhear at the other table it isn't just me you're doing this to. We're all starting to realize that you are learning to teach and it's become obvious. I'm glad you're getting supervised. I wish our meeting had been recorded!

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"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
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  (#6057 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 6th 2012, 02:47 AM
Oh....My God....
ok matthew...okay....Q#WS$EDI*IT&UYFJCILGYVHJESRXCFKH (OIHKJB:OLIKF"P:OIUFTDCVB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO YOU'RE JUST GONNA GO AHEAD AND HOLD ME LIKE YOU LOVE ME, TALK TO ME IN THIS CUTE WAY WITH YOUR COMPLIMENTS AND COMPASSION, HUG ME AND KISS MY SKIN, EVEN GET DOWN MY PANTS AND UP MY FUCKING SHIRT, THEN KISS ME..... AND AN HOUR LATER.... BLAME ME!?!?! no, not just you, Mimi too..... both of you in this rampage against me like ITS MY FAULT!?
No Matthew... I don't want to hear about how much you need her, can't live without her, how much you love her, if you're asking me to save YOUR RELATIONSHIP after YOU left ME ALONE!? I mean...what the hell.... don't you get it....
I love you......?
I need you.......
I can't live without you.....?
I mean....dude...I'm bleeding again....for you.....
why don't you see it....why don't you see it Matthew.... I'm the one that obviously loves you.... yet you're the one who is showing love back....
yet you....yet you stay with her......
and I'm the one in the blame spot....again.....
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  (#6058 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 6th 2012, 02:51 AM
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I can't believe this.

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  (#6059 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 6th 2012, 03:32 AM
So tired and so OVER SCHOOL! Now that doesn't mean I don't want this anymore and it doesn't mean that I still think I can't do it, It means I would kill for a BREAK right now, this paper is killing me and I have 5 more weeks of classes before I get the first substantial break I've had since August. It's very easy to explain school to people and make it sound like prison.

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 6th 2012, 10:32 PM
I so desperately want to ask you if you haven't responded to my email because you're ignoring me. But I know you'd think I was being an insecure loser again, so I'll refrain.

Where are you? What did I do wrong?
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  (#6061 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 6th 2012, 10:59 PM
I think I love you :/ we just expect it not to work out because it never did for anyone else, but we're not anyone else we're us so why not?

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
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  (#6062 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 7th 2012, 04:27 PM
I miss you so fucking much. I'm sorry I put you through hell in our relationship. Every little thing reminds me of you and it hurts so bad. I'm in so much pain. I miss you. I love you. COME BACK TO ME!

There's more to life than your suffering.

♥
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  (#6063 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 8th 2012, 01:02 AM
I'm sorry I'm not perfect. But maybe I wouldn't be having such a hard time with this if you weren't always yelling at me and blaming me for everything.

"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
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  (#6064 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 9th 2012, 06:54 PM
People need to make up the fing mind about formatting. If you want headings and a running head, fine, but you need to tell me because most professors don't! I'm not losing more points because you don't tell me things!

You are 85 years old, no you can not be the center of attention 24/7 and you need to grow the f*** up. If you want to act like a 5 year old, disrespect your children who do everything for you, and throw tantrums, then you can spend the holidays alone! I'm so over this family I'm going to strangle somebody.

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  (#6065 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 9th 2012, 10:52 PM
....I wish it didn't have to be this way... where to please one best friend...more like a brother... I have to hurt another best fri-...I mean sister.
I'm sorry, but you know, last time I took your side, we bled.
....I love that chick I'm gonna tell her the truth. and if she's happy now then so be it.
So be it no matter my weird, confusing, passionate yet fucked up feelings for you..for either or you really...but gr :/
...please just talk to me again....
I'm kinda not sleeping cuz of it...
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  (#6066 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 10th 2012, 03:45 AM
whats going on? why are you acting like this all of a sudden? its kind of freaking me out a bit.... youre my bro, and i trust you, but this is just.... i dont know how to handle this. and it started after i messed up..... why now? just tell me whats going on... why are you talking to me like this? you know what i am, how i feel. i cant change that. why are you trying to change me? please..... just tell me whats going on. im so confused. i dont even know how to begin to understand unless you tell me.. but i dont know how to ask.........

formerly snowstorm, GoneBeyondRepair, and Breathless in Love
Repose en Paix, Grandad/mom H., Sito, Nay, Mary, Aunt S., Peter, Katie, Lexi, Mrs. Radoye, Mandii, Trevor, Megan, Uncle T., Erika, Aunt R., Braxton, Connie, Adam, Grandpa, Buttons, Aunt Barb, Pi, Grandma ♥
The world will bleed its bloody tale. People will throw their stones. But the one thing you must always remember is:
You no longer walk alone.
-Blake Bliss
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  (#6067 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 10th 2012, 07:40 PM
Sometimes, you talk to me & you genuinely act like you care... but then we go a long time without talking, and you forget that I need you. I may just be needy or insecure. But, these mixed signals are making me quite confused. I don't think it's fair for you to be throwing me around like this. Eventually, I'm going to give up, and I'm unsure if that's what you truly want. I get it. I'm hard to handle. And. I get that you're in university and you're trying to study and hang around with your new friends. But. I do deserve some kind of answer and/or stability. I can't handle flip-flops in relationships. So, either you come back, or tell me to leave you alone for good. Either way, I can't do this one-way thing anymore. It hurts too much.

I miss how things used to be with us. Now, whenever I see you, or hang out with you, it's awkward. Whatever.

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 11th 2012, 12:36 AM
Would you like to go out with me sometime?
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  (#6069 (permalink)) Old
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Spite and coffee.

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 11th 2012, 08:27 AM
Thanks for keeping me on track, guilt monkeys.

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you're a werewolf."
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  (#6070 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 11th 2012, 06:00 PM
I would love if you could grade my paper now, I turned it in a week ago and it's 3 pages. How long does it take?!

Member Since: September 19, 2007
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 14th 2012, 10:56 AM
Well, mate, I wish I could tell you I'm a cutter, that I'm bisexual, I love you so fucking much but I don't trust you. I don't trust you not to blab my suicidal intentions to everybody we know...

Jay.

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 14th 2012, 07:00 PM
I have to walk a mile earlier than usual in the freezing cold because you can't put my grade in the grade book. Seriously?

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  (#6073 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 14th 2012, 09:09 PM
I wish you cared. Just a little. Not even all of you. Just one of you? Please? No? Okay... And you wonder why I'm never happy.

"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 14th 2012, 09:11 PM
Fuck you, I don't need this right now! Sincerely, Jamie.

Jay.

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My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!
When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 14th 2012, 10:57 PM
STOP!


please just stop.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 16th 2012, 01:04 AM
I lied when I said I wasn't addicted. I can't stop, I'm trapped in this endless cycle.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 16th 2012, 03:03 AM
I'm scared for you. Stop going back to her. She'll only ruin you and everything you've stood for. I know it's your choice and I've already told you of what I think of the situation and you even agreed but you still chose to go back to her. Why? She doesn't deserve you. You deserve someone better. Not her. I know you must have thought that I was joking when I said I'd kill her if she hurt you. But I wasn't. I will. Because you mean everything to me. More than him. She's only going to drag you down to her problems and you'll be stuck helping her. I want you to be careful. But I guess all I can do now is trust you as I've always had and always will. I'm not very religious but I know I'll be praying for you.

I swear, if you hurt him in any way, I will hunt you down and make you suffer. I will kill you and make you wish you were never born. Don't you dare make him cry again or you'll be facing me.

To be honest, I was a little surprised on what happened last night. I didn't expect you to take it that far. Not that I minded...it just felt a little fast. But why didn't I feel anything? I should have, right? And why did I feel so vulnerable?
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 16th 2012, 12:03 PM
Hey there, I missed you tonight, I wanted to talk to you seriously.. I have something I need to tell you... I'm bisexual, yes, I like both females and males. I also struggle with self harm issues... I cut twice on friday night... I am trying to gain control on my life, and it's working, but a relationship is foreign to me, I don't know what to do, nor do I know how you can possibly love me. You say it, it doesn't register. I look in my mirror, I see my fat, I see the ugly face staring back at me, how can you say you love me?

Jay.

Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!
When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 21st 2012, 10:00 PM
There are over six billion people in this world... and you are the only one I want.

And I will wait for you.

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 22nd 2012, 02:42 AM
I wish you understood what I was trying to tell you
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