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  (#6121 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 6th 2012, 05:22 PM

Miss more than 3 out of our last 40 points and I'm forced to re-take this class which means I WASTED 3 MONTHS OF MY LIFE, not to mention the money that went with it and I was made to feel like total s*** for NOTHING At least I'll know soon enough for it to ruin my well deserved vacation. Thanks for nothing b****!!

I NEED A HUG and an impromptu meeting with my advisor probably wouldn't hurt either.


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  (#6122 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 8th 2012, 02:35 AM

To be one hundred percent honest, you absolutely repel me. I think it's disgusting how you always touch me and tell me that you want to hook up and have sex with me. I think the things that you're texting me are horrifically distrurbing and perverted. I have a boyfriend. Please leave me alone. You are so gross and I deserve so much more respect than what you give me.


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  (#6123 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 8th 2012, 03:10 AM

You did so well tonight and you looked really, really handsome. Seriously. Your performance brought tears to my eyes and I'm so fcking proud of you. Please take advanced dance because you would shine so bright in that class.
On another note, I'm sorry if I bother you... I just can't help but smile in your presence and want to spend time with you, as much as possible. I can't help it if I enjoy your hugs and the way it feels when your skin connects with mine. I'm just sorry that I'm mulling and moping over not being able to be yours.


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  (#6124 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 8th 2012, 04:02 AM

I don't want to stop talking to you... I love you, but I don't want to hurt you... I know I'm doing the right thing...

I love you K, so so so so so much <3

Jay.


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 9th 2012, 08:14 AM

They aren't cat scratches...

~ Christabel
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  (#6126 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 9th 2012, 01:40 PM

I miss you.


"Ignore the ramblings of the ignorant, and step on or over their crumpled bodies as you make your way to the top of the mountain. Eat upon their flesh for fuel, and, through your determination and will, banish them to obscurity and a life of complacency and self righteousness that is the hell in which they live"

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  (#6127 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 9th 2012, 11:30 PM

Tomorrow will SUCK royally and it's about 90% YOUR FAULT and 10% mine. Don't be surprised if I try to beg for a passing grade or threaten to complain. I got close enough that it's worth trying. And I want an evaluation of your grading before spending 4 months of my life and $1400 to take a class AGAIN when I missed passing by less than 5 points. Also, if this meeting goes the way the last one went that will factor in too.


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 9th 2012, 11:31 PM

I DO feel emotions...

~ Christabel
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  (#6129 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 9th 2012, 11:33 PM

La di da! I don't care what you say anymore! Go fuck a wall, I don't care....

#darkmoodforthewin...

Jay.


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 17th 2012, 03:24 PM

You're the reason I started eating lunch again. And I don't know if I love you or hate you for that.
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  (#6131 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 17th 2012, 03:50 PM

As a mentally ill person I take serous offense to being spoken about as if I'm less than you. I'm a human being with feelings whether you care or not!

I ended up not passing and I will NEVER take a class with you again. How dare you say that s*** to me I asked for help and you didn't provide it you can't blame me for that. If it's not in the book, my classmates won't tell me, and you won't tell me how the F*** am I supposed to learn! I'd fight it if I thought I had a chance. You had no confidence that I was going to do anything to change something that you said WASN'T the problem and you say I'm "trying, but coming across wrong" okay, I'm the one who pointed that out to you and asked you for help with it TWICE and you didn't give me any. I wish E was teaching it, but he's graduating soon. Anyone is better than you, though.


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  (#6132 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 17th 2012, 06:34 PM

LOL he is not taking "advantage" of me. Do you think I'm mentally incapable of making decisions? I'm 21, not 12 anymore. People change in the space of a few years, you clearly have.


"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
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  (#6133 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 20th 2012, 03:28 AM

I'm trying. I'm just not sure what I want. There's two very different paths I can take, and until I set my feet firmly on one or the other, I don't even know what to say. I'm sorry, okay?


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you're a werewolf."
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  (#6134 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 20th 2012, 08:13 AM

Who do you think you are talking to me like I'm a piece of dirt you walk on? I'm a HUMAN BEING. I'm sick of being treated this way from everyone that walks into this place. People like you won't make me cry anymore, I won't stand for this. I deserve respect. (for the customers who treat me badly)

What I really want to know is if you love me...I just want to hear you say it. Just so I know...(for my dad)

How dare you do the things you did to her? I was young & couldn't defend her, but if you tried to come back & hurt her like you did then, you'll be sorry because I won't let you lay a hand on her again. (for my ex stepfather)



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  (#6135 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 20th 2012, 08:41 AM

I love you, please, be okay, I don't want to see you hurting! Please, don't do this

Jay.


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A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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  (#6136 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 20th 2012, 06:50 PM

2 books were supposed to come together so why do I only have one, and where is the one that's missing?


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  (#6137 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 22nd 2012, 06:14 PM

I can't f***ing believe you! I'm not going over there for Christmas until you act your age. Nothing is ever good enough even if it's all we can do so you throw pointless tantrums like a f***ing 5 year old and WE pay the unfair consequences. I always felt like I didn't fit in this family I guess I was right. Never felt more alone or angry in my life.


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  (#6138 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 22nd 2012, 06:17 PM

I love you both.... what happened to us?
.....I want to die.... just to show you both that I can't live without your love....
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 22nd 2012, 07:49 PM

You were never going to tell me. How could you do that?
How could you hide from me that I'm a big sister?
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  (#6140 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 24th 2012, 02:05 AM

Some of these are a little old but I'm posting them anyways...

It means a lot to me to hear you say you're proud of me and that I've come a long way. I know in my heart how far I've come but its something entirely different to hear you say it.

I spent my entire 21st birthday feeling like something was missing...and it kind of was. Numerous people wished me happy birthday on facebook but it wasn't quite the same. The birthday wishes that would've meant the most to me mostly didn't arrive. My best friend forgot as did some cousins etc. The people whose messages matter most seemed to forgot...don't get me wrong...I'm not typically a fan of birthdays...and I sit here and make excuses as to why they didn't message me etc but the truth is it hurt. I spent my 21st birthday at home alone...cleaning the house and doing dishes while my parents were at a christmas party n my brother was in the city doing some christmas shopping. Some birthday huh?

You may not know it but your birthday wish made me smile and it erased some of the piece that seemed to be missing. So....thanks...for being there for me when everyone else seemed to forget.

You're my best friend...I wish you would act more like a best friend.

Thanks for inviting me to Nichole's to hangout with everyone last night. Although it was a little bit awkward for me and I know I didn't really say much at all it meant a lot that you always include me. I didn't really feel much like conversing last night and i know I was permanently attached to my cell phone but I couldn't get my Grandma off my mind and I was scared that my phone would ring and something would happen. I didn't feel like explaining it to everyone but my grandma isn't doing well and doesn't have much time left.


Don't lie to me. I'm twenty one you don't have to act like you gave me a choice when in reality you didn't. I know for a fact that when Grandpa passed away I wasn't allowed to see him...now....years later you try and tell me that you give us the choice with stuff like that? Um...okay we both know that I didn't have a choice so don't try and tell me you did give us that choice. I understand why I wasn't given that choice at the time and I do know that you and grandpa didn't want us to see him toward the end...just don't try and cover it up with false information years later. I didn't have a choice....don't try and tell me I did.

Grandma...I love you sooooooooo much. I've listened to you say for years how you wish the good lord would take you or how you want to die and I learnt to brush it off but now Im being forced back to reality and the fact that you don't have long left. Going to visit you at the care home was hard...I felt so helpless seeing you that way. You seemed to be resting peacefully with all of us there visiting and for that reason I am glad I went to see you. I guess maybe you wanted us all to come visit hey? *quarter smile* I know I'm not much older now than I was when Grandpa passed away but this time I feel quite different with the whole situation..I guess its because I'm at home and more aware of everything thats happening and just being able to go and see you and see the rest of the family sitting with you. With Grandpa..I was extremely unprepared to answer the phone call I got but now I'm almost waiting for a phone call...as morbid and weird as that may sound.


I feel extremely alone and its proving more difficult to reach back out to people than I anticipated.


Anytime mental illness comes up, such as it did last night at Nicholes, I wonder what you would say if you knew about my depression and self harm. I know the things you guys talked about last night were more of the bipolar disorders etc but it was mental illness. Knowing you work with people with mental illness makes me think you wouldn't judge me but I think the rest of the crew would...plus....even though you work with people with mental illness I guess I still feel like its this label thats put on and stereotypes come along regardless...


I miss you a lot...Most days I'm too stubborn to admit it to myself but when I'm being honest I know its true. Its been almost a month since we spoke and the stubborn part of me doesnt' want to be the first to make contact but I also know that it probably doesnt mean as much to you as it does to me. You don't think that I can entirely push away from you...and while you are right about most things...this one...I may prove you wrong. I won't claim it to be easy and I wont say I don't miss you because I do but...i cant be attached to you

Last edited by amystery; December 24th 2012 at 02:11 AM.
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  (#6141 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 24th 2012, 10:29 PM

It's times like these I wish I could get a lecture from you. As I told you, you have NO idea how much they helped. I have never felt that good and I would give anything to get that back, plus I'd love to know how you'd respond to everything involved here and I feel like you could keep me from going INSANE!


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  (#6142 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 26th 2012, 03:14 AM

Well, that fixed mine, no reason to yell at me if it doesn't work for you. You're welcome b****


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 26th 2012, 09:08 AM

I love you.

~ Christabel
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 26th 2012, 07:48 PM

I can't believe people actually WENT and nobody bothered to tell us! I am so f***ing OVER this family.


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 27th 2012, 10:08 PM

- I've always had a crush on youu. I trust youu and I find you to be very beautiful. I just want to spend my time talking to you. I just want to thank youu for being here for me last night and talking to me throughout the day. I adore you amidst I truly think you're beautiful.

-I'm stating to think you don't care as much as I once thought. Great. Another failed relationship


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 27th 2012, 10:11 PM

FUCK YOU! I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND YOU JUST PLAY WITH MY FUCKING HEAD? I AM JUST SO FUCKING PISSED OFF AT YOU I WISH I COULD BREAK YOUR DAMN NOSE WITH MY FIST! YOU HURT ME SO DAMN MUCH AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO SAY THAT I HAVE ALL THE DAMN PIECES? I NEED MORE! I NEED YOU TO FUCKING SPELL IT OUT!

Jay.


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My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 28th 2012, 04:05 PM

I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me.


"Ignore the ramblings of the ignorant, and step on or over their crumpled bodies as you make your way to the top of the mountain. Eat upon their flesh for fuel, and, through your determination and will, banish them to obscurity and a life of complacency and self righteousness that is the hell in which they live"

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"Civilize the mind, but make savage the body."
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 28th 2012, 05:50 PM

why? why did you do that? why me? why why why why why? i need answers. but ill never get them. not from you. not from anyone. hell, i dont even know who 'you' are. i dont know if it was you who made me this way, or if this is how im supposed to be. ill never know. i hate you. i fucking hate you! and its not even your fault. its.. its mine. and nothing can fix that. fix... me.


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 28th 2012, 10:37 PM

NO. NO. NO.
FUCK YOU, BITCH.
I honestly think you do such things to make me mad.
I hate you so fucking much.
I hate that you are ruining one of my favoritest things in the world.
There are very few things that make me happy these days & you're just taking it away from me.
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 30th 2012, 10:16 PM

I know I'll be on academic probation, PLEASE tell me it doesn't mean I have to drop classes I've already paid and prepared for! The course load wasn't even the problem. I will go in and meet with you like the responsible student I am, I might tell you about that, but I'm too afraid it will get me kicked out either because it shoud've disqualified me or because it's considered lying on the application. I finally decide I'm ready for help and since I'm going to be a professional in the field I can't even ask for or get it, what the hell?!


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 31st 2012, 09:31 PM

I've been trying. I can't even begin to apologize for how fucked up I am.


"Ignore the ramblings of the ignorant, and step on or over their crumpled bodies as you make your way to the top of the mountain. Eat upon their flesh for fuel, and, through your determination and will, banish them to obscurity and a life of complacency and self righteousness that is the hell in which they live"

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 1st 2013, 01:33 AM

I am officially done with you sir. I'm tired of your melodramatics, I'm tired of never knowing if you love me or if you're scared to lose me. I'm tired of being the only one who seems like they care. I am DONE.



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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 1st 2013, 02:48 AM

Perhaps a little cliche and whatever, but "I love you, truly. And I don't think that you know that as well as you really should."


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 1st 2013, 06:07 PM

I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, but how could I have? I can't stand it when someone touches my skin, it makes me feel so dirty. I've learned to deal with it but I still hate it. I'm sorry, I'm a freak. I know that I am.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 1st 2013, 09:38 PM

kyle: i really wish you would just grow up already, you're suppose to be the oldest, start acting like it.
i know its scary taking responsibility and growing up, you don't think i'm scared too? you're supposed to be taking care of us, not the other way around.
i'm tired of being the only responsible one, the one who has all the weight to carry and the pressure to bare. i'm not even 19 yet and yet im expected to graduate highschool, go to college, get a job, and move out and take care of both of you, especially you, having to be constantly watching you like you were a child. i need your help, i dont think i can pull this off.


I watch the hope I had disintegrate before my eyes.
I take a minute and reflect on your fucking lies!
Behind the door, you have two choices, but you don't get to choose.
You can survive or you can die - either way you lose!
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 2nd 2013, 03:24 AM

This is straight forward, I don't understand what the problem is


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 2nd 2013, 05:48 PM

I'm sorry that I suck with commitment.


And here you are living, despite it all.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 2nd 2013, 10:04 PM

You're an attention seeker and everyone can see it.




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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 3rd 2013, 12:29 AM

Mum, I really need help. My depressions getting worse, but you don't see it. You don't see it because its not something you would be able to physically see ): and because you don't and can't physically see it, you won't probably believe it. But mum, when I ASK for help, then you know I really need it .
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 3rd 2013, 12:43 AM

I tell you I'm fine, but I know you can't see right through me.
I'm actually broken.
and now I've lost all hope.
I really need someone to hug me and tell me they love me.
because at the moment I feel so alone, and I'm scared that the loneliness is winning along with the monsters inside me, telling me you don't need me.


~ Words scar, Rumors destroy and bullies kill ~
~ I'm just another nobody.
~ You can't tell how much suffering is on a face that's always smiling </3
~ Be my friend.
hold me.
wrap me up.
unfold me.
I am small and needy.
Warm me up and breathe me.

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