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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Write your past self a letter - April 11th 2011, 05:46 AM

I thought it would be nice for some of you to have a thread where this could be possible, I did this on another website and it really helped me.



Here's my letter to my past self:

Dear Louise

Itís difficult to start a letter like this, I have so much to tell you. When I look back I see you as my daughter, my babyÖ I want to mother you, take you away from the hurt youíre sufferingÖ youíre only 5 years old. My heart breaks, and you know that. I know I wont be able to help you for another 12 years, I hope you can forgive me. Try and remember there are those around you that do care, they just donít know how to express it. Try not to have hate in your heart for what youíve been through, Mom doesnít know any better.

Your real father doesnít hate you, he didnít mean to just leave you, his mind isnít in the right place right now. Try not to be too excited when you find out heís in jail, itís the last time youíll hear from him. Hold onto the precious memories, those are all you have. Try and ask mom about him as often as you can, even if she keeps telling you ďyou donít want to know,Ē youíre a big girlÖ I know youíll be able to handle it.

Keep all of yours school projects, youíll regret not having them one day. The writing exercises you do in class before you move to Holland will be essential for you when you are in a new country. It will be your best friend for a while, donít take it for grantedÖ writing will get you through almost every problem you have, even when you canít write down the answersÖ when you look back, everything will make sense.

Cherish the times with mom when she sits with you and tells you about her life. You will feel connected to her and you will finally grasp why youíve been brought up the way you have. I know she loves you, and these wonderful conversations will show that to you, and one day you will want to share moments like these with your kids.

Pay attention to your younger sister, she needs you more than you'll ever know. At this point you'll be strong enough to help her through everything she's dealing with. She's going to grow up too fast and you will feel very angry with yourself for leaving to college.

Holland isnít so bad, but be careful, not everyone likes Americanís there. Study hard, learn the language and you will succeed. I know the language is difficult and that you will be stressed at a very young age, but I promise itís an experience you will be glad you went through.

Acne is the worst, I know! But please, remember that it is only a phase and that you are a beautiful little girl. You'll learn to love your big nose, awkward body, and large set eyes. One day you will have an amazing set of friends, they will be your life gaurds. You will be theirs.

Try not to smoke, I know you probably will anyways because at this point youíre probably very bitter/angry/stubborn, but please, try not to smoke. Iím almost 22 and still having the occasional cigarette. Itís just a bad habit and you have asthma. Iíd like to be able to go running with your future husband, okay?

Yes, the only talent you truly have is art, thatís okay, you keep at it. Itíll get you a great job someday.

Donít date too many assholes, you will have a tendency to do that. Theyíre easy to identify: Self absorbed. One of the names may start with J, stay away from those, kay?

When you meet Aaron, go with your instincts. He falls in love with you pretty fast and doesn't let go. I know ultimately you will make the right choice, but you'll save yourself a lot of heartache if you just speed up the process. When you find out your pregnant and you talk to Aaron, really think deeply about the choice you want to make. I know you want a future and thats why you will probably make the same choice I did, but you may live to regret it.

His daughter doesn't dislike you, she doesn't know you. I know that you really want to make the best out of being around her, but she can't help that you're a stranger. All she wants is her parents, you just have to be her friend.

Smile often. It will make you feel better and itíll help those around you feel better as well.

Donít stop caring about people. You give great advice and people need that, you may not know them, but if you can help improve their life in some way, I know it will give you a spark of happiness in yours.

Keep imagining, keep dreaming, keep painting, keep writing, keep loving, keep listening, keep being you.
Youíll end up loving yourself as much as others love you.

~Melanie




Colours De Moi


   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Write your past self a letter - April 11th 2011, 12:38 PM

This is a really good idea.

Hollie,

One day you might forget how amazing you are. When that day comes, I want you to read this and remind yourself that you're beautiful. It will take a lot for you to bring yourself to believe it, but read the words anyway, because if no-one else will say it, at least you can listen to your own mind telling you that you're worth something.

I don't want you to ever forget the joy you've bought people. You have years until you're my age, and years of tears of happiness, laughter and friendship to bring to peoples eyes. One day all the things you do for people that will go unnoticed, will be noticed, but even I havn't reached that stage yet.

It's hard to write this, as I'm not sure what I can say to myself. I guess, I just want you to never ever lose the smile you're wearing. It's amazing, Hollie, and you deserve to show it off to the world. Keep rubbing it in people's faces and never let them get to you. You can change me, just don't stop believeing that you're worth more than money could ever buy.

When you get told to smile, smile, because if you don't, the only person you will hurt is yourself. don't be stubburn and not smile because you don't feel like it, make yourself feel like it. Be happy, gorgeous, because if you're not, what point is there to being here exactly?

Spend time with your family, they wont be around forever. One day you're going to regret not spending the time you had with them, with them instead of someone else. Don't stay at home and say to yourself 'I'll go next week', go this week, because when they're not there anymore, you'll wish you'd never thought about seeing them like it was a chore.

It's times like now I wish I'd had a letter like this to read. I'm not wise, and I'm not a genius, but I'm you, Hollie, and I know you better than anyone else ever has done or ever will. I know how you've felt and have yet to feel, and I urge you to not feel like it ever. Life's too short to be wishing you'd done things, so do them now and never regret anything, because I do, and I wish I didnt.


❤ Nana ❤
1953-2016

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Write your past self a letter - April 11th 2011, 06:11 PM

Dear Mia

One day you will read these and realise how talented, beautiful and intelligent you really are. Dont sweat the small things, life is way too short to lie awake worrying at night. A lot of those things that you worry about and what ifs, will never materialise.
Have confidence in yourself, everyone else has confidence in you. Never be afraid to speak your mind and stand up for what you believe in. Resist the urge to follow the crowd. Be your own person.
Dont worry about those guys at school, one day you will meet someone who deserves you so much more than they ever did. You will find friends who will treat you right.
You may not be much of a talker at the minute, you can be extremely shy and sensitive, thats not a bad thing though, its whats right for you at the momemt. One day you will come out of your shell, and become a talker as well as a listener just like you've always dreamed! You will always be shy and sensitive towards the feelings of others, but thats what makes you who you are.
Continue to look after the young people who need guided and mentored, they are the future. They will always remember you.
Take care of yourself
x
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Write your past self a letter - April 13th 2011, 07:22 PM

Dear past self,

You're an arrogant, manipulative, glib asshole who is quite intelligent, sometimes funny and good-looking. Bump them all up.

Find the recipe for the amazing soup and desserts you made (the chocolate-brandy cake and raspberry fudge brownie).

Peace out like Disco Stu


I can rip you off, and steal all your cash, suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh. Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack.
- Danko Jones (I Think Bad Thoughts)
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Write your past self a letter - April 16th 2011, 07:54 PM

Dear Amanda,

I remember when I was in your position 4 years ago. Hear me when I say you're getting sick . It's not something that will pass in a few weeks, it will progressively get worse and you'll suffer on and off from it the rest of your life. If you choose to get better now, you won't be in as much pain later and almost have to go on a feeding tube.

I know that at this point Carly is making your life miserable. Let her go, she's not a good friend and she's not worth your time. It's hard, I know, but I'm so glad that she isn't making me miserable any more. Sure, I still talk to her, and you can too, it's your choice.

Think of Cecelia as your best friend now. She's not going to abandon you when you need help and she's always been your friend, just not as close as Carly was. She's worried about you, thinking you're becoming depressed due to what Crohn's has already done to you.

Be less annoying to Sam. He's a great brother and now he's going to be leaving for college this summer. I'm going to miss him so much and you should keep him close while you still can.

That's it for now, take care of yourself and take your medicine!
~Amanda =)
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Write your past self a letter - April 16th 2011, 10:25 PM

Dear Olivia,

I know you're scared right now, but please don't worry. What you're doing is perfectly fine and completely normal. You've been very sheltered throughout your life, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it just means that all this is very alien to you.

What you're doing is called masturbating. Most girls around your age (from about 10 upwards) do it. It doesn't damage or harm you or your body in any way, and no you *can't* get pregnant because of it, I promise. Your period is only late because your stressing about it so much. I know it's scary because you don't feel as though you can talk to Mum about it, because it would get round to Papa and he would be angry. (I promise you that one day you will be able to talk to Mum a lot more openly, and without fear, it'll just take a little time.) But don't be afraid. The best thing you can do right now is go online, and search for (safe) websites which explain it. There is also an awesome forum-site called TeenHelp, where you can ask *any* questions and they will help you without judgement or comment.

Please don't be afraid. Please don't lie awake at night, stressing, close to tears. I know that Papa always frowned upon anything even remotely sexual, but that's because he is clueless. If he's trying to protect you and Daniela then he's doing a very poor job. One needs to be fairly open about such a subject. When you finally get around to having a boyfriend, and having sex with him, you will be scared because you don't know anything about the subject, but he will be an amazing person and guide you through it all with such care for you.

Just be strong Livii. One day you *will* have friends, and family, and a boyfriend. You *will* feel happy in your skin, no longer afraid. And just ignore Papa, since he isn't doing you any good.

I know you have had many other problems in your life, and will encouter many more, but this is the most promenant one that I remember.

And just remember, if you ever feel alone, just call upon Hayley (yes she's still around =D), or find some paper and pen and write down everything that you're thinking. It helps, I promise.

Good luck growing up, my friend.
Signed,
Olivia xXx
Your future self


I like to tell you that I'm ready
For whatever's coming
But to be honest there's a part of me
That loses control




~



The things that used to mean so much to me...
have gone the way of dinosaurs...
hopes and dreams, and everything...
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Write your past self a letter - April 16th 2011, 11:16 PM

Dear Nat

Yes, in a few years you'll be known as Nat. You'll use it as an alter ego. Nat is stronger. Can deal with things. Louise is messed up and can't do anything right but Nat is better. You need to realise that you are not two separate people. You're just separating the two sides of yourself to make it easier to control yourself.
There are things you will need to know. Things you should do your best to stay away from, and I know how crazy that sounds. This is what's going to happen in the next few years and I need you to do what I say here. I need you to trust me.

When you were in Primary one, there was a girl in your class called Manyla. She moved to Singapore during Primary two. She's coming back. In your second year of high school she'll come back and you'll meet her properly in your fourth year. Take my advice and don't get too close to her. She's a liar and she's manipulative and she'll put ideas into your mind that are dangerous. By all means, be close friends, at most. But don't let her call you her sister. Just make sure you stay friends with her until at least Christmas of your 5th year. In January/February of 2005, Great Aunt Cathie is going to die. It's not your fault. You can't blame yourself. You have to remember that what you did had nothing to do with how she died. Nothing you did could have changed what was going to happen.

In June of your fourth year, a friend you've been close to for about a year will move to London, Nicole. Chances are, you're not going to see her again. Treasure every day you have with her, she's a really special girl and you should make the most of every moment. You won't be in contact much after she moves, if at all. Soon, Manyla will come into school with cuts on her arm. She'll make a big deal of it and show you and the idea at first will scare you. Very soon, the thoughts of following Manyla's example will be strong, but I urge you to try not to. Go onto your computer and onto teenhelp.org. That will be invaluable to you in the future.

You need to try and be open with your parents. Tell them what Trish Anne does and says to you and get out before it gets too bad. If you let it go on, she'll continue to upset and blackmail you and when it all comes out, the family will be in ruins for almost a year. Just tell them you don't want to go there anymore in the morning or after school because you don't feel comfortable with her there.
You need to go and see a doctor about the thoughts in your head. You might not notice them much now but they'll get stronger. The ones about being watched. About people hearing your thoughts. You have to speak to a doctor as soon as you can. Ask mum about younger doctors, she'll recommend the right one.

Finally,about Papa. You already know that nothing can last forever and you know he's getting worse. Just take my advice, be patient with him. And treasure every moment you have with him. Most importantly, do not be distracted when you visit him. Because believe me, you will regret it. Don't forget to look back before you leave. Hug him extra tight and tell him just how much you love him. Make sure he knows how much you care before it's too late. You'll really regret it if you don't. I know I do.

Oh, and Louise? For God's sake PLEASE study for your highers, you might beat Marianne in English but you got kicked out of maths and biology and got Cs in everything but Home Ec. :|

Be good, kid. And try to be tidy, yeah? I'm still paying for being messy as a child.

-Your future self

(P.S: You'll start looking at girls differently. Don't worry about it too much, you're gay. )


Throw those curtains wide
One day like this a year would see me right


We are the rainbow
Or click here for some grovelling.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Write your past self a letter - April 21st 2011, 03:34 AM

Michelle,

Boys are stupid. Don't worry about them so much.

You really don't need to know what you want to be when you grow up. It'll come to you.

Pretty soon, you're going to go to a Christian camp. This is going to be your favorite place in the world, and you'll meet one of the best friends you have. When his friend gets in a car accident, say more than "I'm sorry." He needs you to comfort him.

There are going to be people that don't like you, and days when it feels like everything is your fault. It's not. You have self esteem issues and you need to know that there are so many things that are out of your control. Don't beat yourself up over silly things. You'll only feel worse about nothing.

Oh, and you'll meet Charlie. He'll seem like the most perfect guy in the world. He's an idiot.

Michelle


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