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View Poll Results: Will you participate in the Day of Scilence??
Yes i will! 27 58.70%
No i will not! 19 41.30%
Voters: 46. You may not vote on this poll

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 08:34 AM

http://www.glsen.org/cgi-bin/iowa/al...cord/2400.html

NEW YORK, April 9, 2009 - An 11-year-old Massachusetts boy, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, hung himself Monday after enduring bullying at school, including daily taunts of being gay...who did not identify as gay, would have turned 12 on April 17, the same day hundreds of thousands of students will participate in the 13th annual National Day of Silence by taking some form of a vow of silence to bring attention to anti-LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) bullying and harassment at school.


This is sad! I hope you guys will participate in the day of silence. Its not just for Gays, Bi's, Lesbians, Trans, It for everyone!


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 10:01 AM

I read this morning. It such a tragedy.
My prayers and thoughts are with the family.
My condolences.





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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 01:25 PM

That is really sad... and he's only eleven.


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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 01:29 PM

I wasn't sure of participating at first, because I'm not LGBT and I didn't know much about the day of silence. But after reading this, I'm definitely participating. tere needs to be more awerness of this.


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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 01:53 PM

I wont be participating because I'm not in the USA and I think the Day of Silence is rather ridiculous.

Meh, this story just shows that we need better teacher training on the subject of bullying. Though the story is a trifle misleading as the child wasn't actually gay, still sad though but not something that should be hijacked by gay rights activism.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 02:18 PM

Aw that's awful.
   
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 02:36 PM

I dont think the story was misleading. I think it shows that, even though he was not gay, he was still harassed by standing up for the rights of others to the point that he hung himself. Its a tragedy and I pray for the family and everyone who is a victim here. I dont mean to argue, my apologies, that is just my view.


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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 02:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack View Post
still sad though but not something that should be hijacked by gay rights activism.
I couldn't agree more.

I won't be participating either because 1. we don't have a day of silence here and 2. I don't much support days of anything. I know, they are supposed to raise awareness, but they don't. Not really. Because the type of person who will take an interest isn't the type of person that should be targeted in the first place. Bullies and close-minded people don't give a damn about some day of silence. So the only people who will participate are still the people who wouldn't deliberately hurt anybody and therefore I don't see much point in it.


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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 02:50 PM

What a great thing the kid did standing up for something he believed in.


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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 02:55 PM

How did the kid stand up for anything? He was just bullied, he didn't say gay rights were good, he wasn't gay himself, where exactly in this does the kid become a hero rather than a victim of a very sad event?
   
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 03:06 PM

I wont be participating. As said by others, its not typically done here. I don't see the day of silence making much difference.

In awareness campaigns, I'd rather be pro-active...
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  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 03:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack View Post
Meh, this story just shows that we need better teacher training on the subject of bullying. Though the story is a trifle misleading as the child wasn't actually gay, still sad though but not something that should be hijacked by gay rights activism.
And how is the story misleading?

Quote:
Carl, a junior at New Leadership Charter School in Springfield who did not identify as gay
Quote:
Two of the top three reasons students said their peers were most often bullied at school were actual or perceived sexual orientation and gender expression, according to From Teasing to Torment: School Climate in America, a 2005 report by GLSEN and Harris Interactive. The top reason was physical appearance.
Quote:
"As was the case with Carl, you do not have to identify as gay to be attacked with anti-LGBT language," Byard said. "From their earliest years on the school playground, students learn to use anti-LGBT language as the ultimate weapon to degrade their peers. In many cases, schools and teachers either ignore the behavior or don’t know how to intervene."
And I think even if he isn't gay this is an issue of homophobic bullying. Which is often left undealt with.

But I won't be participanting in this day, because a) its not in the UK, and b) I think the issues need to be talked about.

Last edited by Marvin; April 11th 2009 at 08:25 PM.
   
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 04:27 PM

I think this is really sad. I don't plan on participating in the day of silence because I can not shut up. I know that I could not go a whole day without talking.


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  (#14 (permalink)) Old
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 07:01 PM

My heart goes out to this boy's family and friends. He's so young, no one could have been prepared for this.


Anti-LGBT bullying can affect anyone, whether or not they're gay.

I haven't participated in the Day of Silence since I was in high school. I used to be pretty active with GLSEN and they have the right idea, but are too unwilling to change their strategies. All that said, I'm a much bigger fan of GLSEN's bullying campaign (No Name-Calling Week) than their LGBT initiatives. It takes a much-needed broad, spoken approach to bullying in schools, for younger children (K-8), rather than the often ignored Day of Silence which is confined mostly to high schools and colleges/universities.

This is a very sad story. GLSEN is already all over this, and I wish they wouldn't. They need to let the family grieve and respect the name of this child. But... they wont.



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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 07:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack View Post
I wont be participating because I'm not in the USA and I think the Day of Silence is rather ridiculous.

Meh, this story just shows that we need better teacher training on the subject of bullying. Though the story is a trifle misleading as the child wasn't actually gay, still sad though but not something that should be hijacked by gay rights activism.


I second this.


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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 07:47 PM

I thought you couldn't have the kid's name in the article if they're still a minor, or is that only if they've committed a crime? Regardless, I won't be doing this day of silence stuff. The kid didn't do anything other than kill himself. If he actually attempted to fight for what he believed in, then I'd have about 1 inch more of respect for him, although, considering the fact that he took the rather disgusting route of suicide, I cant say that he would get respect in the first place.

He's just a victim who couldn't grow enough skin to let petty bullying go. He didn't protest, hell, he himself wasn't gay. So I see no reason as to why I should participate in this day of silence, especially if it's partially or completely dedicated to someone too weak to handle petty bullying. The least the articles could do is not say the kid's name, leave him with some remote amount of dignity.
   
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 08:46 PM

^First I just want to say to YourNightmare that the Day of Silence was originally started because of Matthew Shepard which was a completely different situation.

Second this is a little too freaky for me. I have an 11 year old brother who is to turn 12 on the 17th and who was recently flicked off by an older boy in school and called a homo. Now my brother is not gay he's just a dancer and I guess he's handling it well but, just a bit too freaky.

But I do not participate in the day, though I support it completely. And if the WBC shows it's ugly face anywhere near this boy's funeral I really hope that people can come up with a fantastic way to silence them.


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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 08:53 PM

regardless of the boy's orientation, he was picked on for something he wasn't, and as a result, killed himself. Yeah, a lot of people are bullied, but look at the details. His mother called the school weekly asking the bullying to stop. How many teens, under normal conditions, actually tell their parents the extent of their lives. Also, it was server enough to cause the mom to call WEEKLY. It couldn't have been a normal situation, which leads me to believe that this boy was harassed a LOT.


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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 09:38 PM

I do wonder if the school held an assembly on the problems with bullying. Either way, this was completely unjustified.

I will be participating, by the way.


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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 09:46 PM

I won't be taking part in the silence because I don't see how silence raises awareness. Personally I'd rather chant something anti-homophobic down the high street. It's horrific that a kid so young felt he had to kill himself to escape needless torment. I really hate homophobia




   
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 09:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by EDGE View Post
What a great thing the kid did standing up for something he believed in.
He didn't believe in it. He killed himself cause he was being bullied. *The story said he wans't gay*
   
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 10:30 PM

Why are people arguing in this thread?

a young boy lost his life

show some compassion!
   
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 11th 2009, 11:09 PM

This is really sad, he was only eleven. But I really don't think the GLSEN should be invovled, they need to let the family have some peace.

I will not be partcipating in the Day of Silence, since silence rarely accomplishes anything.



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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 12th 2009, 03:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DistanceIsDarkness View Post
Why are people arguing in this thread?

a young boy lost his life

show some compassion!
I'm not sure about you, however, if someone dies, regardless of their age, I'm not going to even consider showing compassion. Depending on how he died, his current living state, health state, etc..., then after analyzing those, I'll consider it. Until then, I think I showed enough compassion: don't put his name in the article.
   
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 12th 2009, 04:44 AM

are you allowed to put the name/picture of a minor in an article in the USA without parental permission? I'm pretty sure you'd get in trouble for that over here...
   
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 12th 2009, 04:58 AM

I won't participate in the day of silence, as I don't see how it could possibly do anything.


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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 12th 2009, 05:04 AM

I live in the city where this happened. Real sad that a poor child would feel so trapped that killing himself was the only escape. I'm disgusted with the school system, the people who engaged in the bullying and the poor way in which it was handled. People need to get a grip.


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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 12th 2009, 06:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Invert View Post
are you allowed to put the name/picture of a minor in an article in the USA without parental permission? I'm pretty sure you'd get in trouble for that over here...
yeah I was sort of confused about that part also. I figured that somehow it was done legally although still am curious.
   
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 12th 2009, 07:51 PM

If the parent(s) consented for the name to be released, even in a single situation, then it's been released and is able to be used in any situation. I think.



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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 12th 2009, 08:15 PM

This story is very sad, and I am sorry for his friends and family.

However, I will not be participating in the day of silence because a) I feel like it's more of a high school thing-- unless you're an active member of a club or some type of community and b) I'm a college student and I have shit to do, plus I have a job interview that day.

I also think it's sad that people take advantage of the day of silence. At my old high school kids would "participate" in the day of silence only in the classroom so they wouldn't have to talk, yet the second they step out of the classroom they start talking to their friends.

I like the day of silence, I like what it represents but it just frustrates me that so many people take advantage of it and make it into a joke.

(I know no one here does that =p but some kids are just stupid)


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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 12th 2009, 08:20 PM

That is so sad, so shocking ... 11 year olds are still young children .... that has seriously depressed me




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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 12th 2009, 08:32 PM

That's just so so sad. But if the bullying was that bad, why not see about changing school? And i won't be participating in the day of scilence, 'cos nobody that i know will know what it is, and get scared if i'm silent for a whole day.


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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 13th 2009, 01:32 AM

It's sad but shouldn't be used by gay rights for a cause - that will cheapen his death.

I shan't be participating, it's not like it makes a difference
   
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 13th 2009, 03:11 AM

That's really sad. I don't think that using it for LGBT+ activism cheapens his death, but it might not be in the best of taste. Really, if you look at it in a certain (cynical) light, the boy would rather be dead than have people call him gay. That's a pretty sick social climate there. Not to say the boy was homophobic, but certainly his enviroment was.

I do participate in the DoS, because it does raise awareness. People ask me why I'm not talking and I hand them a printed card explaining what DoS is all about. At worst, they call me a dyke and move on, but at least they notice that there are people in their very own enviroment who believe in equality for LGBT+ under the law and in our culture.


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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 13th 2009, 03:20 AM

It's not cynical, it's factual and objective. The trouble with the news is that it tells you what to feel and feeds on your emotions when it should just be objective
   
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 13th 2009, 01:17 PM

If the family gave them direct permission for this, then I don't see a problem. Its possible that the family don't want their sons death to go by silently, and want it to be used for awareness that homophobic bullying isn't just a gay problem.

If the family didnt give explicit permission, then yeah, they shouldnt be using him so soon.

But his death IS a result of homophobic bullying, so it makes sense that if he is mentionned by any news, that homophobic bullying be addressed.

Quote:
, if you look at it in a certain (cynical) light, the boy would rather be dead than have people call him gay. That's a pretty sick social climate there.
I wouldnt personally read it that way. I'd read it in one in 3 ways. First way is just, bullying is horrible. Essentially homophobic bullying bothers gay people who are happy with their sexuality, so it isnt suprising to think it'd bother everyone. The second way is perhaps he was questionning. I mean, come on, he's 11, he doesnt actually have a sexuality yet. The third way is perhaps he did have a sexuality, and totally knew he was straight, and the rejection of his identity was a big problem. With all of these, just the harrassment would make it worse. But yeah, I'd go with my first suggestion... bullying is just horrible. I dont think he prefers being dead then being thought of as gay.
   
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 13th 2009, 01:20 PM

You can't say factually that the boy would rather have been dead than called gay (which is what the cynical was refering to--sorry if that was unclear). You don't know what's in his head. You can only guess, really, more or less educatedly.

But I agree: news coverage is about what sells papers. And tragedy sells. The incentive for objectivity is very low.

EDIT: I think Invert just explained the less cynical ways of looking at it. Yay for simul-post...


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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 13th 2009, 11:34 PM

As sad as this is, i won't be participating because a) i don't think it'll make any difference and b) no one really does here.


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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 14th 2009, 12:00 PM

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Originally Posted by Invert View Post
And how is the story misleading?
And I think even if he isn't gay this is an issue of homophobic bullying. Which is often left undealt with.
The story is misleading because it places the blame for his death squarely on "homophobic hate". This is misleading as in the other three versions of this story I've read the fact that he was called gay was not even mentioned in two of them and only mentioned in passing in the third. It seems, from the other stories, that a lot more was going on in this than just kids saying "lol your gay, gaylord". Of course, the site that this story is linked to obviously wants to slant it to show that "omg homophobia is totally rampant in our school system".

Secondly, I'm not even sure the kids were being homophobic, all they're doing is using the most effective insult they know. I really doubt they hate gays, just hated that kid and are saying the thing most calculated to upset him. I know I used to say things like "shut up gay" when I was that age, not because I had anything against gays, but because it would upset the other person. So really it's a case of simple bullying and nothing really to do with homophobia, rather than going "omg we need to combat homophobic bullying" it should be "omg we need to combat bullying".
   
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Re: 11 year old commits suicide becuase gay hate - April 15th 2009, 12:02 AM

I just remembered the other day in religion class when we were discussing this. This boy is the younger brother of a girl who's friends with another girl in my religion class.

I think this basically proves why "gay" should not be a synonym for "stupid."


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