TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Current Events and Debates For discussions and friendly debates about politics and current events, check out this forum.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Jesus Christ. Offline
Führer of the sausage people
I can't get enough
*********
 
Jesus Christ.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Male

Posts: 2,301
Join Date: January 6th 2009

What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 06:30 PM

So, what's considered more socially unacceptable? Because to me it seems beating a woman is considered more so, which I don't get because I grown woman is more able to defend her self, she can even leave this man if she wants to, where as a child is weak compared to an adult, is less likely to understand what's wrong, and can't just leave. There seems to be no equalities in this, I mean, you're much more likely to be arrested for hitting a woman than a child =/.

So, what are your opinions?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
Charlie the wallflower's Avatar
 
Age: 25

Posts: 80
Join Date: January 1st 2010

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 06:38 PM

A million times worse to hit a child. Depends what you define hit as tho. My parents would smack me when i did wrong and it never did me any harm. But of course Abuse is a different matter


And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Union Of V Offline
Scepticism With A Tail
I can't get enough
*********
 
Union Of V's Avatar
 
Name: Basil!!!
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Location: Cork, Ireland

Posts: 2,017
Blog Entries: 22
Join Date: January 31st 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 06:49 PM

Over here I think politicians are realizing they have to change the laws pertaining to rape, for the simple reason that you can't say that men are stronger than women anymore - anyway I'd say a child. The differences between men and women are minimal.
  Send a message via MSN to Union Of V  
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
losing touch. Offline
oh, really?..
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
losing touch.'s Avatar
 
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 5,996
Blog Entries: 537
Join Date: January 8th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 06:54 PM

a lot of people seem to think it's ok to hit your children because it's passed of as "discipline" and women are often portrayed as weak and vulnerable so this is probably why people seem to react more strongly against men hitting women.

personally i think it's terrible to hit a kid and for a man to hit a woman.. worse to hit a kid though as they can't defend themselves like an adult can.


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Xujhan Offline
Resident Atheist
I can't get enough
*********
 
Xujhan's Avatar
 
Name: Fletcher
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario, Canada

Posts: 2,024
Join Date: January 17th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 06:56 PM

Beating anyone should be abhorrent, but children. They're less able to defend themselves, and more prone to suffering lasting emotional damage from it.


The atoms that make up you and me were born in the hearts of suns many times greater than ours, and in time our atoms will once again reside amongst the stars. Life is but an idle dalliance of the cosmos, frail, and soon forgotten. We have been set adrift in an ocean whose tides we are only beginning to comprehend and with that maturity has come the realization that we are, at least for now, alone. In that loneliness, it falls to us to shine as brightly as the stars from which we came.
  Send a message via MSN to Xujhan  
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
Charlie the wallflower's Avatar
 
Age: 25

Posts: 80
Join Date: January 1st 2010

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 06:58 PM

Its the opposite for rape even now people dont realise a husband can rape his wife


And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
*Rainbow*Rider* Offline
<3
I've been here a while
********
 
*Rainbow*Rider*'s Avatar
 
Name: H
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 1,921
Blog Entries: 124
Join Date: January 25th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 08:15 PM

It is not right to hit anybody.
I believe in very light spanking for children under the age of 5, but otherwise, no.
There are no excuses for abuse. Abuse is abuse.
The sad thing is that a large amount of those who abuse others have been abused in the past.



If the world is a cold place
Make it your business to start some fires




   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
TheBabyEater Offline
With A Sprinkle Of Cinnamon
I've been here a while
********
 
TheBabyEater's Avatar
 
Name: Marissa
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Iraw

Posts: 1,705
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 08:26 PM

I agree. For whatever reason I think it's worse to hit a child. I suppose because like you said, they're less able to get away because more often than not, if they're very young they really don't know that they can tell someone and get away. But still, it's wrong either way and often a woman feels like the really can't get away. Even though they can defend themself, and can get away easier.

I'm also torn against light spanking. I personally believe that a little light spanking when they're under 5 or 6 is okay. I hate it when parents just try to talk calmly to their 3 year old why it's bad. That's good for when they're older, but in all honesty a 3 year old rarely understands why something is bad! So therefore, some other kind of punishment must take place. But I realized when I was at my boyfriend house watching his cousins, that I really can't do or watch it happen. I felt like shit when they were misbehaving really badly, and my boyfriend had to spank them a little. I just couldn't watch. Mostly though because of my own past with spanking that went a little too far, and still does when I'm 17. (long story.)
It's all good for me though because I really doubt I'll ever, ever have kids. I'd be shocked. I think you all would be too. o.o *points to username*



Take me seriously.
I dare you.



  Send a message via Skype™ to TheBabyEater 
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Casey. Offline
Dance with me
I can't get enough
*********
 
Casey.'s Avatar
 
Name: Casey
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Somewhere in my mind

Posts: 2,343
Blog Entries: 337
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 09:27 PM

I'm sorry, but I disagree Keady. Women often can not leave an abusive relationship, even if they want to, because often they can not see that it is abusive. Often they believe that they deserve it, or that it is their fault. So, I don't believe that women can often defend themselves.

However, that does not mean that hitting a child is not wrong. No one should be abused- men, women, and children. Children cannot fight back, so yes, it should be more socially unacceptable, but it's not, because society believes it's okay to hit children still. It's wrong, but it's how our world is.


She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."

"I am not what has happened to me.I am what I have chosen to become."- Carl Jung

"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.


Smile through the tears.


PM me

  Send a message via Yahoo to Casey.  
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Fucking Done Offline
Member
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
Fucking Done's Avatar
 
Age: 27
Gender: Male

Posts: 658
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 09:29 PM

I'd smash a girl if she had it coming, not a kid though.
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
Jesus Christ. Offline
Führer of the sausage people
I can't get enough
*********
 
Jesus Christ.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Male

Posts: 2,301
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 09:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cas* View Post
I'm sorry, but I disagree Keady. Women often can not leave an abusive relationship, even if they want to, because often they can not see that it is abusive. Often they believe that they deserve it, or that it is their fault. So, I don't believe that women can often defend themselves.

However, that does not mean that hitting a child is not wrong. No one should be abused- men, women, and children. Children cannot fight back, so yes, it should be more socially unacceptable, but it's not, because society believes it's okay to hit children still. It's wrong, but it's how our world is.
Then it's the woman fault if she doesn't see it as an abusive relationship isn't it? And even if the woman doesn't see it as an abusive relationship she can still do more to help her self then a child can. And a womans bones are harder to break remember.
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
Stay determined
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Gingerbread Latte's Avatar
 
Name: Cara
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Scotland

Posts: 6,716
Blog Entries: 136
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 10:18 PM

Why are we just talking about men hitting women here anyway? What about women beating up their husbands?

I've seen a TV program about men who've been in abusive relationships and they've been too ashamed to admit they're being abused because they're men and they're supposed to be masculine and they feel ashamed that they've let a woman beat them up. I'd say that's as bad as a man hitting a woman.

Anyway back to the main question, I think both are bad but a child who's being abused doesn't really have anywhere to go or anything, do they? They can't go to their family because it's usually their family who're abusing them. However, a woman in an abusive relationship can go back to her parents or other members of her family.


   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
losing touch. Offline
oh, really?..
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
losing touch.'s Avatar
 
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 5,996
Blog Entries: 537
Join Date: January 8th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 10:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth Cara View Post
Why are we just talking about men hitting women here anyway? What about women beating up their husbands?

I've seen a TV program about men who've been in abusive relationships and they've been too ashamed to admit they're being abused because they're men and they're supposed to be masculine and they feel ashamed that they've let a woman beat them up. I'd say that's as bad as a man hitting a woman.

Anyway back to the main question, I think both are bad but a child who's being abused doesn't really have anywhere to go or anything, do they? They can't go to their family because it's usually their family who're abusing them. However, a woman in an abusive relationship can go back to her parents or other members of her family.
because the question was what is more socially acceptable - to hit a woman or a kid?.. at least i think it was.


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



   
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
dancinfool Offline
Member
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
dancinfool's Avatar
 
Age: 29

Posts: 422
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 10:22 PM

Quote:
I'd smash a girl if she had it coming, not a kid though.
I didn't even know there were still people who openly hold that opinion. [Edited]
Quote:
And a womans bones are harder to break remember
So that makes it ok?!
I think both are socially unacceptable. I do think that children are less able to defend themselves but to say the differences between men and women are minimal in terms of physical strength is a load of rubbish. I'm all for equality but the fact is on average men are stronger.

Last edited by Jack; January 1st 2010 at 11:39 PM. Reason: Quite rude. Please don't make derogatory or inflamatory comments such as that towards other users.
   
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
Jesus Christ. Offline
Führer of the sausage people
I can't get enough
*********
 
Jesus Christ.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Male

Posts: 2,301
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 10:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dancinfool View Post
So that makes it ok?!
I think both are socially unacceptable. I do think that children are less able to defend themselves but to say the differences between men and women are minimal in terms of physical strength is a load of rubbish. I'm all for equality but the fact is on average men are stronger.
I didn't say it make it acceptable, it was supposed to imply how fragile a child is compared to a fully grown woman.
   
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
dancinfool Offline
Member
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
dancinfool's Avatar
 
Age: 29

Posts: 422
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 10:36 PM

Quote:
I didn't say it make it acceptable, it was supposed to imply how fragile a child is compared to a fully grown woman.
Fair enough, it just sounded a bit.. callous. Even if you didn't mean it that way.
   
  (#17 (permalink)) Old
Jack Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Jack's Avatar
 
Name: Jack
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Location: Kingston upon Hull/ Brighton, UK

Posts: 1,494
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 10:46 PM

I don't think beating either a woman or a child is considered socially acceptable at all. I suppose if I had to chose between them then I'd say beating a child is more socially acceptable simply because children don't come forward about it as often and people often assume "that sort of thing doesn't go on these days" plus it's easier to play it off a discipline. However, logically and personally, I think beating a kid is worse for reasons already stated. There is a huge difference between social acceptability and logic.

However, I do believe that some physical discipline is fine for a child so I would say that "hitting" may on rare occasions be fine. Just not to excess nor with undue force. The same goes for women, if they attack you physically then it's fine to defend yourself.
   
  (#18 (permalink)) Old
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
CompassionateSoul's Avatar
 
Gender: Male

Posts: 346
Blog Entries: 7
Join Date: November 26th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 10:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3.1415926535897 View Post
. There seems to be no equalities in this, I mean, you're much more likely to be arrested for hitting a woman than a child =/.
That's exactly the argument raging between legislators. When is beating a child no longer parenting? What crosses the line? I think a child should be punished, hit, yes, so long as it doesn't leave a bruise. An opened handed slap across the behind never hurt me and I didn't think my parents were out to hurt me when they did that. It's a way of being taught right and wrong, people do the same with their pets, usually by shouting.

Hitting a child out of anger is certainly unacceptable. As for hitting a woman, it depends on the circumstance, if it's not in self-defence then it's assault, no matter how much it hurts.

I think people are becoming too worried about how children are punished which could lead to children getting away with more as parents may become afraid of punishing their child.... It's quite a difficult balance to keep.
60 years ago children were punished with belts and it wasn't considered to be an issue, how a parent punishes their child is in the hands of a parent. I don't think anyone should pull out a belt again, but I think some form of temporary physical punishment is necessary for a child to effectively learn right and wrong. I'm talking about a slap across the behind with an open hand or a slipper at most, I don't see a problem with it. Of course, if I did that to my child, I'd let them calm down, then have my wife go and talk to them and explain what they did wrong and why they were punished. Seems to be the best strategy in taming a wild child.
A 'beating', i.e. more than one hit, is too much in my opinion though, and is certainly unacceptable.


What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and wiser, that in itself, is worth the fight.

The best way to predict the future is to create it - Peter F. Drucker

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - Nelson Mandela


   
  (#19 (permalink)) Old
Fucking Done Offline
Member
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
Fucking Done's Avatar
 
Age: 27
Gender: Male

Posts: 658
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 11:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dancinfool View Post
I didn't even know there were still people who openly hold that opinion. [Edited]
Seriously? I don't treat girls any different from guys, if a girl starts with me or especially hit me i'd punch them back.

Almost every girl I know thinks the same way as me, they don't hit someone and expect not to get hit back. It's usually only the bitchy annoying girls who use the 'I'm a girl you can't hit me' excuse, that say only real men don't hit women.[Edited]

Last edited by Jack; January 1st 2010 at 11:38 PM. Reason: Rudeness. Please read our rules.
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#20 (permalink)) Old
tk338 Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
tk338's Avatar
 
Gender: Male
Location: UK

Posts: 1,268
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 11:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by KYLE View Post
Seriously? I don't treat girls any different from guys, if a girl starts with me or especially hit me i'd punch them back.

Almost every girl I know thinks the same way as me, they don't hit someone and expect not to get hit back. It's usually only the bitchy annoying girls who use the 'I'm a girl you can't hit me' excuse, that say only real men don't hit women.[Edited]
I've go a friend who thinks its sexist and if it came to it says he would hit a girl... Personally I don't 'hit' people, at all costs I'd avoid a situation like that, use restraint before hitting, if it was for someone else.

However seeing as the question was not about what I'd do and what should be more socially unacceptable, I'm going to go with hitting a child is worse. Older people have more experience and are much better at judging situations than a child; or should be anyways, and therefore shouldn't really be putting themselves in a situation where there getting hit.

However in my eyes both are completely unacceptable there are certain situations where it could be deemed ok, but only as a last last last resort!



How can one love themselves, when they love absolutely nothing?
Do something that is interesting. If it is not interesting, find out why it is not interesting.
   
  (#21 (permalink)) Old
dancinfool Offline
Member
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
dancinfool's Avatar
 
Age: 29

Posts: 422
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 11:44 PM

Sorry if my previous post was considered rude but I was shocked by what Kyle said.
I guess that depends on your opinion of what 'had it coming to her' means- you didn't specify that she had hit you first. You also used the word 'smash' which sounds like quite extreme physical violence. I would never start a fight in the first place, but I think whatever your opinions you do need to be aware that you have more ability to cause harm than a girl.
   
  (#22 (permalink)) Old
Hollifire Offline
Smile; you're beautiful.
I've been here a while
********
 
Hollifire's Avatar
 
Name: Holly
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: Maine

Posts: 1,859
Blog Entries: 16
Join Date: February 12th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 11:49 PM

I completely agree with Kyle. If a girl flat out starts attacking a guy, and for him not to defend himself is ridiculous. Even if it's just something simple like a girl slapping a guy across the face, he has every right to retaliate, and not get into trouble for it.

However, I think it's moreso wrong for a child to get hit, because they can't defend themselves. They're smaller and weaker, so it's like physically abusing someone just for the fun of it, and that's disgusting.




PM VM

x See the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets x
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#23 (permalink)) Old
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
her_beautiful_mistake's Avatar
 
Name: Rachel
Gender: Female
Location: Britland

Posts: 2,262
Blog Entries: 29
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 11:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3.1415926535897 View Post
Then it's the woman fault if she doesn't see it as an abusive relationship isn't it? And even if the woman doesn't see it as an abusive relationship she can still do more to help her self then a child can. And a womans bones are harder to break remember.
Wow. You really are incredible.
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#24 (permalink)) Old
dancinfool Offline
Member
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
dancinfool's Avatar
 
Age: 29

Posts: 422
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 11:55 PM

Quote:
Even if it's just something simple like a girl slapping a guy across the face, he has every right to retaliate, and not get into trouble for it.
That depends entirely what the retaliation is- if she slapped him and then he punched her and broke her jaw (which is my interpretation of the word 'smash').. thats still not ok.. And I know women do hit men blah blah but I'm sure there's plenty of domestic abuse cases that are entirely one sided.
   
  (#25 (permalink)) Old
losing touch. Offline
oh, really?..
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
losing touch.'s Avatar
 
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 5,996
Blog Entries: 537
Join Date: January 8th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 11:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by KYLE View Post
Seriously? I don't treat girls any different from guys, if a girl starts with me or especially hit me i'd punch them back.

Almost every girl I know thinks the same way as me, they don't hit someone and expect not to get hit back. It's usually only the bitchy annoying girls who use the 'I'm a girl you can't hit me' excuse, that say only real men don't hit women.[Edited]
i'm not saying it's completely wrong to lay hands on a girl if they are attacking you.. but if a girl hit you then being physically stronger than her you could just restrain her or remove yourself from the situation - punching her like you would a guy is hardly necessary.


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



   
  (#26 (permalink)) Old
Hollifire Offline
Smile; you're beautiful.
I've been here a while
********
 
Hollifire's Avatar
 
Name: Holly
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: Maine

Posts: 1,859
Blog Entries: 16
Join Date: February 12th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 11:58 PM

Okay, so what you guys are saying is if a guy does more damage back to the girl than she does to him, it's wrong?




PM VM

x See the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets x
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#27 (permalink)) Old
Jesus Christ. Offline
Führer of the sausage people
I can't get enough
*********
 
Jesus Christ.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Male

Posts: 2,301
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 1st 2010, 11:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by her_beautiful_mistake View Post
Wow. You really are incredible.
Sorry, I can't quite comprehend what you mean by this, if you wouldn't mind could you please clarify?
   
  (#28 (permalink)) Old
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
her_beautiful_mistake's Avatar
 
Name: Rachel
Gender: Female
Location: Britland

Posts: 2,262
Blog Entries: 29
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 2nd 2010, 12:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by HoLLiFeR View Post
Okay, so what you guys are saying is if a guy does more damage back to the girl than she does to him, it's wrong?
I believe legally you can use as much force as is reasonable to stop yourself from being harmed but no more.

If a guy was hitting me I would use as much force as I can to get them off me and stop them from hitting me.

If a girl were hitting a guy, I would expect them to use as much force and no more. Due to the physical make up of the male body vs the female body - large frame, higher muscle % - it's unlikely to be as much as a girl would need.

If a girl slapped a guy and then after slapping him posed no further threat, yes I would consider it wrong for the guy to then punch her.
But vise versa also... "he hit me so I hit him back", c'mon, how old are we? 8?
but if a girl were slapping a guy repeatedly I wouldn't have a problem with him pushing her away and partially restraining her to stop her from hurting him. Punching her and breaking her jaw? I can't really see why that would be necessary in any situation unless their life was in danger.

Doing more damage than is necessary to protect yourself is wrong IMO - but that works both ways too.
   
  (#29 (permalink)) Old
Jack Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Jack's Avatar
 
Name: Jack
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Location: Kingston upon Hull/ Brighton, UK

Posts: 1,494
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 2nd 2010, 12:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elle. View Post


i'm not saying it's completely wrong to lay hands on a girl if they are attacking you.. but if a girl hit you then being physically stronger than her you could just restrain her or remove yourself from the situation - punching her like you would a guy is hardly necessary.
Have you ever tried to restrain or walk away from a girl who is trying to scratch your face off? It's harder than it sounds. Not to mention that it can often look dodgy and if the girl screams sexual assualt after you restrain her (assuming nobody witnessed the start of the fight) then you could very well end up in a load of troulbe despite being totally innocent.

Anyway, I don't see that the strength of the man is relevant. A persons strength can more or less be gauged by a simple look at them so if the girl doesn't want to get into a physical altercation with a man much stronger than her then she shouldn't start one in the first place. Part of equality is treating a woman the same as you'd treat a man in the same situation and if a weaker man attacked you then nobody would criticise you for hitting him back. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you springs to mind.

Plus not all girls are the wilting violets that seem to be portrayed here. A lot of them can deal out some pretty hefty damage.
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#30 (permalink)) Old
losing touch. Offline
oh, really?..
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
losing touch.'s Avatar
 
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 5,996
Blog Entries: 537
Join Date: January 8th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 2nd 2010, 12:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by HoLLiFeR View Post
Okay, so what you guys are saying is if a guy does more damage back to the girl than she does to him, it's wrong?
what i'm saying is imagine this situation..

girl punches a guy..

the guy has a few options..

a) do nothing and let her beat him up.

b) being physically stronger than her, restrain her or remove himself from the situation so as to defend himself..

c) ignore the fact that she is a female and therefore almost certainly weaker than him and lay into her like he would if a guy punched him.

personally - i think b would be the most suitable for this situation. using the least amount of violence possible, but still defending himself.


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



   
  (#31 (permalink)) Old
dancinfool Offline
Member
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
dancinfool's Avatar
 
Age: 29

Posts: 422
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 2nd 2010, 12:05 AM

Quote:
Okay, so what you guys are saying is if a guy does more damage back to the girl than she does to him, it's wrong?
Pretty much but then I would apply that to any fight- I'm essentially a pacifist, and would always favour restraining someone who's being violent or removing yourself from the situation over fighting. But I still think there is a difference- most girls could not/would not do serious damage during a fight, whereas a guy who is used to fighting could lash out and do more damage than intended. If you're dating a bodybuilder with equal strength to you then maybe it would be different.
   
  (#32 (permalink)) Old
Hollifire Offline
Smile; you're beautiful.
I've been here a while
********
 
Hollifire's Avatar
 
Name: Holly
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: Maine

Posts: 1,859
Blog Entries: 16
Join Date: February 12th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 2nd 2010, 12:05 AM

Do I think it's right for a guy to lay a girl out, just because she pushed him? No. But I don't think you should also underestimate the strength of girls. I know plenty that are stronger than big guys, and I've seen a lot of abuse with women towards men, and no one cares because it's a woman doing it.




PM VM

x See the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets x
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#33 (permalink)) Old
losing touch. Offline
oh, really?..
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
losing touch.'s Avatar
 
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 5,996
Blog Entries: 537
Join Date: January 8th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 2nd 2010, 12:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack View Post
Have you ever tried to restrain or walk away from a girl who is trying to scratch your face off? It's harder than it sounds.

Anyway, I don't see that the strength of the man is relevant. A persons strength can more or less be gauged by a simple look at them so if the girl doesn't want to get into a physical altercation with a man much stronger than her then she shouldn't start one in the first place. Part of equality is treating a woman the same as you'd treat a man in the same situation and if a weaker man attacked you then nobody would criticise you for hitting him back. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you springs to mind.
yes i have been in the situation where a girl has attacked me - but it's slightly different seeing as i am a female myself.

i can see your point though - i guess in the most of the situation i've seen the girl has been a lot smaller and weaker than the guy so it's not been difficult for him to restrain her, and there have been other people around who also helped out.


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



   
  (#34 (permalink)) Old
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
her_beautiful_mistake's Avatar
 
Name: Rachel
Gender: Female
Location: Britland

Posts: 2,262
Blog Entries: 29
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 2nd 2010, 12:09 AM

The fact is in general guys are going to be stronger than women, thats not sexisim it's simply evolution - men were traditionally the 'hunter gathers' so had to be fast and strong, women did not have this role. I know I would struggle to defend myself against really any man and I'm not exactly tiny. I'd have little respect for a man who laid into a woman because she was scratching his face, or really for any reason. Using unreasonable force in any situation generally is not going to be okay.


Have we got a bit off topic?
   
  (#35 (permalink)) Old
Hollifire Offline
Smile; you're beautiful.
I've been here a while
********
 
Hollifire's Avatar
 
Name: Holly
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: Maine

Posts: 1,859
Blog Entries: 16
Join Date: February 12th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 2nd 2010, 12:11 AM

Everyone's entitled to their own opinions, ya? I'm just saying any physical harm I did to a guy, or any other girl does to a guy, they have every right to do the same thing back. End of story. I don't care if the guy is 6'10, [Edited: Read "large"], and the girl was 5'1, [Edited: Read "small]. Strength doesn't come in the size you are.




PM VM

x See the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets x

Last edited by Jack; January 2nd 2010 at 12:26 AM. Reason: Weight numbers
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#36 (permalink)) Old
dancinfool Offline
Member
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
dancinfool's Avatar
 
Age: 29

Posts: 422
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 2nd 2010, 12:13 AM

Quote:
no one cares because it's a woman doing it.

I disagree with abuse of any form. But as far as I'm aware domestic violence towards women is still more common than towards men, for the simple fact that some men choose to use their superior strength as a weapon. Maybe some women are stronger than their boyfriends, but out of all my friends who are dating I don't think a single one is physically larger/stronger than their boyfriend. I know there is an issue with men being abused because its less 'acceptable' and they might be seen as weak but that doesn't make abuse of women ok!
   
  (#37 (permalink)) Old
losing touch. Offline
oh, really?..
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
losing touch.'s Avatar
 
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 5,996
Blog Entries: 537
Join Date: January 8th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 2nd 2010, 12:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by HoLLiFeR View Post
Everyone's entitled to their own opinions, ya? I'm just saying any physical harm I did to a guy, or any other girl does to a guy, they have every right to do the same thing back. End of story. I don't care if the guy is 6'10,[Edited], and the girl was 5'1, [Edited] . Strength doesn't come in the size you are.
what? of course strength has everything to do with the size you are. if you're tiny you have no chance defending yourself against a huge guy.


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..




Last edited by Jack; January 2nd 2010 at 12:26 AM. Reason: Weight numbers
   
  (#38 (permalink)) Old
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
her_beautiful_mistake's Avatar
 
Name: Rachel
Gender: Female
Location: Britland

Posts: 2,262
Blog Entries: 29
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 2nd 2010, 12:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by HoLLiFeR View Post
Everyone's entitled to their own opinions, ya? I'm just saying any physical harm I did to a guy, or any other girl does to a guy, they have every right to do the same thing back. End of story. I don't care if the guy is 6'10, [Edited], and the girl was 5'1, [Edited]. Strength doesn't come in the size you are.
Even if there were no threat remaining? The only situation I can condone using violence is when there is a threat to your own personal stafety - and even then only using enough violence to remove that threat/defend yourself. In the UK that's the legal stance also (I love how I was taught this so I know how much force I can use to defend myself incase I am attacked at work =S )

It's doubtful that a [Edited] small girl is going to pose any threat to a [Edited: Read "large"] tall guy, so I can't see any justification for violence from the guy in that situation. But if it were a [Edited: Read "small"] guy and a [Edited: Read "large"] girl, I'd be saying exactly the same thing.

Strenght is always going to be proportional to size, and in general gender too. And when violence is concerned you have to take strength and size into consideration. Hitting the large guy may do little or no damage, where as the same blow to the girl may cause serious internal injuries. So size should always be a factor, irrelivant of gender. It just so happens that in general, girls are smaller and weaker than men.

Last edited by Mel; January 12th 2010 at 12:51 AM. Reason: Please do not post weight numbers. It's against out ToS.
   
  (#39 (permalink)) Old
Hollifire Offline
Smile; you're beautiful.
I've been here a while
********
 
Hollifire's Avatar
 
Name: Holly
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: Maine

Posts: 1,859
Blog Entries: 16
Join Date: February 12th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 2nd 2010, 12:16 AM

Haha wow... Come to where I live then. I've seen [Edited: Read "small"] girls knock out guys that were 3x the size of them. I've given my opinion, and I'm done now. I'm not going to even say anything else because it won't be nice.

'
if you're tiny you have no chance defending yourself against a huge guy.' ... sexist, much?




PM VM

x See the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets x

Last edited by Jack; January 2nd 2010 at 12:38 AM. Reason: Replacing weight number
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#40 (permalink)) Old
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
her_beautiful_mistake's Avatar
 
Name: Rachel
Gender: Female
Location: Britland

Posts: 2,262
Blog Entries: 29
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: What's more socially unacceptable? - January 2nd 2010, 12:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by HoLLiFeR View Post
Haha wow... Come to where I live then. I've seen [Edited: Read "small"] girls knock out guys that were 3x the size of them. I've given my opinion, and I'm done now. I'm not going to even say anything else because it won't be nice.

'if you're tiny you have no chance defending yourself against a huge guy.' ... sexist, much?
It's not sexist, it's fact. As a general rule that really is the case. Why do so many people find it hard to accept that men are made stronger than women? It's evolution, biology. You can't argue that's sexism.
I'm not a small person, I'm reasonably big. yet I know that up against really any medium sized guy I'd be in trouble and not stand much of a chance of winning or successfully defending myself.

And just because it happeneds, you think that makes it okay? I will never agree that using violence beyond what is necessary to preserve your own safety is okay. It's irresponsible and well, pretty brute-like to be honest. It's called civilisation.

Last edited by Jack; January 2nd 2010 at 12:40 AM. Reason: Weight numbers in quote
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
socially, unacceptable

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.