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(#1 (permalink))
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I can't get enough
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Name: Zack
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Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 17th 2010, 10:14 PM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/s...st/8570398.stm
Marium Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the officer on the head with his penis when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way. Lithuanian Varinauskas admitted a charge of assault at Aberdeen Sheriff Court and was fined £600. The court heard he had been drinking heavily and could not remember committing the offence at his home in Aberdeen. Police were called to his home by his girlfriend, who had complained about him being drunk last November. They arrived to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants. Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck." Defence solicitor John Hardie said: "He was sitting on the couch drunk with his pants on. "He can't remember anything but accepts that if that's what the police say then that's what happened. "He has never been so drunk before that day and accepts he has to take full responsibility. He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed." His not guilty plea to committing a breach of the peace by uttering offensive and sexual remarks was accepted by the Crown. Sheriff Annella Cowan was told that the Lithuanian had now quit binge drinking because of the incident. |
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(#2 (permalink))
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Blah blah blah
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Re: Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 17th 2010, 10:19 PM
I hope I'm not the only person that finds this funny...
Another reason to not drink though I suppose. |
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(#4 (permalink))
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Member
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Name: Rachel
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Re: Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 17th 2010, 11:05 PM
Hilarious!
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Religion is like a penis. It's fine to have one. It's fine to be proud of it. But please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around. And PLEASE don't try and shove it down my throat. |
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(#6 (permalink))
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Pokémon Master!
 Outside, huh? ********** 
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Re: Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 17th 2010, 11:36 PM
I know I shouldn't find it funny but I really do =))
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(#7 (permalink))
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<3
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Re: Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 18th 2010, 12:25 AM
This made my day xD
If the world is a cold place Make it your business to start some fires Formerly *Rainbow*Love*  |
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(#9 (permalink))
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Knowledge will truimph.
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Re: Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 18th 2010, 03:48 AM
I can't even imagine his face when he got over the hungover and realized he got in trouble for trying to hit someone with his dong. "Wait honey...what did you say I did last night?"
To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty; To find the best in others; To give of one's self; To leave the world a bit better...; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - This is to have succeeded. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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(#10 (permalink))
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Re: Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 18th 2010, 04:32 AM
Quote:
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(#11 (permalink))
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<('_')><(*_*)>Stupidity Kills
Outside, huh?
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Re: Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 18th 2010, 04:42 AM
LOL! This makes me wonder... was the "flat tire" a metaphor in addition to being an actual tire that was flat?
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(#12 (permalink))
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Dance with me
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Re: Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 18th 2010, 05:35 AM
I find this both profoundly hilarious and disturbing. I think this has to be a first...well first publicized case anyway xD
She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."
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(#13 (permalink))
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Mr. Demface
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Re: Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 18th 2010, 03:14 PM
I know I shouldn't find this so funny, but I laughed
~Cody
Normal User Iron Maiden is metal as fuck \m/ Want me to give you a hysterical paroxysm? |
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(#14 (permalink))
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GREAT BIG HUG
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Re: Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 18th 2010, 03:30 PM
Hi Everyone!!
 I hope you're having a super fine day. None of you are alone.... I BURST out laughing!! And I couldn't help but think.... That must be ONE impressive penis if he can use it as a CLUB!! GREAT BIG HUG Craig! 
"It takes FAR MORE COURAGE to be KIND than it does to be CRUEL" - CanadaCraig
GBH GUY!! - Anti-Abuse!!  CRAIG'S PAGE!! - My Homepage!!  BECOME MY FACEBOOK FRIEND Your Biggest Organ!! [TH Social Group] For those of us with skin problems. CELIBATASTIC!! [TH Social Group] For those who are celibate - whatever the reason!!  I am a 48 year old guy living in Victoria B.C. CANADA - I joined TH on January 11th, 2003 |
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(#15 (permalink))
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Mr. Demface
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Re: Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 18th 2010, 03:41 PM
Quote:
~Cody
Normal User Iron Maiden is metal as fuck \m/ Want me to give you a hysterical paroxysm? |
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(#17 (permalink))
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Resident Atheist
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Re: Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 18th 2010, 04:52 PM
Quote:
 I laughed as well. And yeah, that'd be a bit sketchy for the policewoman, but so much more embarrassing for the guy. Poor fool. 
The atoms that make up you and me were born in the hearts of suns many times greater than ours and in time our atoms will return once again to reside amongst the stars. Life is but an idle dalliance of the cosmos, frail, and soon forgotten. We have been set adrift in an ocean whose tides we are only beginning to comprehend, and with that maturity has come the realization that we are, at least for now, alone. In that loneliness, it falls to us to shine as brightly as the stars from which we came.
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(#18 (permalink))
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Winter is coming
Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 18th 2010, 06:23 PM
My dad told me about this yesterday and I lol'd so much. Must've been a pretty big one. The night is dark and full of terrors  |
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(#19 (permalink))
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Member
Outside, huh?
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Re: Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 18th 2010, 06:35 PM
In conclusion; Epic Dong Man has an Epic Dong.
And yeahh, whilst I do feel sorry for the policewoman subjected to that, I still have to laugh xD.  "My one desire is for peace -- peace for everyone" |
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(#20 (permalink))
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Mr. Demface
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Re: Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 18th 2010, 06:38 PM
You know.... I just realized. Everyone feels so bad for how embarrassed that guy must be, but think about it. The world now knows he has a huge freaking penis if he can use it as a club. He's got bragging rights now
~Cody
Normal User Iron Maiden is metal as fuck \m/ Want me to give you a hysterical paroxysm? |
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(#21 (permalink))
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Finding beauty in darkness.
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Re: Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 20th 2010, 02:52 AM
LOL! Okay ummm...Wtf?
Pansexual. Pescetarian. Problematically Pierced. Disturbed and Depressed. And a Lost Realist. Got a question? I might just have an answer. Feel free to PM me.  |
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(#22 (permalink))
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Hell on heels.
I can't get enough ********* 
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Re: Man used penis to assault female police officer -
March 20th 2010, 02:58 AM
Quote:
The guy with the large penis must be pretty embarrassed that he did this, but TheNumber42 is right, he now has bragging rights for sure! |
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