Some nightclub girls. Just a thought.

[CanadaCraig]

Hi Everyone!!

I hope you're having a super duper day!!

One moment please while I get my soapbox.

[cough]

I live a few blocks away from dozens of nightclubs. [In Downtown Victoria, B.C.] And I have to say.... I can't help but get the impression that some girls [Based on how they are dressing] are NOT getting what they want from the opposite sex. And as a result - and out of great desperation - are becoming even more determined than usual to impress 'him'.

But they are [I very strongly believe] going at it the wrong way.

They are trying to turn him on sexually [Even more so than usual - by looking a LOT like a typical street 'hooker'] and wondering why he cares more about how they LOOK than about who they ARE.

If YOU are not attracting the sort of people who will appreciate YOU for being YOU - then maybe it's time you changed the 'bait' you're using.

NEVER SELL YOURSELF SHORT by trying to 'buy' someone's affections. It just doesn't work that way.

And I assure you - I'm no prude. But some of the clothes some of the girls are wearing lately leave almost nothing to the imagination. I'm not disgusted by it. Far from it. It just tugs at my heart whenver I see someone trying to buy something [The genuine affections of others, etc.] that's not for sale.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!!

[MegaMadness]

It's the sad the way some girls feel that they need to dress and act is such a way just to get attention. They usually only get the wrong attention.

[Singing to the starlight]

To be honest when girls go out looking like this to clubs, its not serious relationships they're after.

[MegaMadness]

I still find it sad that in order to find anything, that they feel like they have to dress up like that.

[Power Cosmic]

Originally Posted by Sitting on the shitter

To be honest when girls go out looking like this to clubs, its not serious relationships they're after.

That was my first thought when I read your post Craig. I live in Dundee city centre, down near the student-y district and around the corner from most of the biggest nightclubs in the city. Not as big as Victoria, but still a city. Thing is, I see this too, but as Hannah said, I think they're just looking for sex, as in the physical satiation rather than the emotional one. I mean, of course, there'll always be some who do want a relationship, but they'll soon realise that most nightclub scenes are just not the place for such things.

Each to their own I guess *shrugs*

[I-Love-him]

i disagree completly with what your saying.
When girls go out dressed in nice dresses or short skirts etc etc they aren't ALWAYS doing it to attract male attention and also, if a guy was to sit here and say "yh i hate it when girls wear sexy clothes and make themselves look good" they are LYING!.at the end of the day, men are visual creatures, now i don't go out dressed up because i don't need to or want to go clubbing or anything like that BUT i will wear decent clothes and makeup and i don't do it for attention but i do it because i just feel disgusting if i don't wear makeup or dress up and if and when i do wear makeup and make an effort i will get noticed because men are visual! they go by what they see.

You say something about girls are attracting the wrong attention but sometimes we need to dress up to get attention, it's how it works, we need to attract a guy first before we get to know them.

Personally i think guys should stop moaning.Nowadays there is so much pressure for girls to dress up, dress down, put tuns of makeup on,loose weight etc etc and then guys add to the confusion by saying "yh sometimes girls don't leave much to the imagination, they try so hard" open your eyes! ofcourse we don't leave much to the imagination! we feel so pressured to look perfect and then show off our bodies.

[Power Cosmic]

Hey, sorry, don't get me wrong, I'm not sexist or anything. I mean, guys do it to, dressing themselves up, 'peacock-ing' for attention. I mean, sure there's nothing wrong with dressing up and stuff, but I dunno, it gets so samey and bland, and just reeks of desperation.

It's the same for both sexes, though I agree, women are more pressured due to the media being a load of rancid bollocks.

Reminds me of an incident once, I was at a nightclub with some friends, and there was a girl with pink hair, one of those black wooly cardigan thingies that button up the front over a long vaguely-floral summer dress that went to her ankles, and damn, she was GORGEOUS, just the confidence and stuff, and the non-conformity made her one of the most attractive girls there.

Again, don't get me wrong, I'm not prude or find a girl who shows off her assetts in any way offensive, but a lot of that matters surprisingly little in the social dynamic sometimes, it's all about confidence, for both men and women.

Whether one's motives are just to give in to pressure, for sex or if they're just feeling lonely or a combination of all of them...it's ashame really.

....I'm not sure quite where I'm going with this to be honest >.>

[Work_In_Progress]

That's why I stopped going to clubs after several times, I couldn't tell from normal girl/woman to a hooker. I would prefer to look for something more than a fling and going to a bar or a nightclub is definitely not the place to find your future partner-for-life!

I would think anyone and everyone that attends to a place like that will most likely only meet people that are greasy and slutty and that the most you can get out of it is sex or getting groped rather than receiving any kind of respect.

However if I ever wanted to go look for a one night stand, I'll know where to know and who to look for, and hope that there isn't a (ex)boyfriend involved the next morning!(very likely where I live)

But sometimes I do feel like what you said Craig, I do feel sorry for girls and women that go and sell themselves with revealing clothing and crazy makeup. "Perhaps they don't know any better?" I think to myself. Sometimes I'll appreciate the eyecandy.

[Forsaken Archer]

I find it both sad and pathetic you feel the need to comment on their clothing.

Get a grip on your own lives.

[DarkSeph]

Originally Posted by I-Love-him

at the end of the day, men are visual creatures. And when i do wear makeup and make an effort i will get noticed because men are visual! they go by what they see.

Originally Posted by I-Love-him

Nowadays there is so much pressure for girls to dress up, dress down, put tuns of makeup on,loose weight etc etc we feel so pressured to look perfect and then show off our bodies.

Interesting. First, I couldn't disagree more.

Second, men aren't always the ones pressuring girls. Girls pressure themselves more than anything. The listen to the media and the fact dressing down gives them immediate attention from the small percentage of guys who are sex-obsessed. The majority of guys prefer their gf's without make-up and actually think they look nicer dressed casually than slutty.

We aren't "visual creature" either. It's just a common stereotype. Personally, if I see a girl dressed down, tons of make-up and completely obsessed with her appearance.....I avoid her. It's a turn off. I assume her priorities are a good looking guy and sex, rather than personality and a caring relationship and I avoid her. And mr. sex obsessed moves in instead. And as a result, the girl believes men are ALL sex obsessed "visual" creatures.

Most girls who focus on their appearance would NEVER date a quiet, kind, generous guy. 90% of those types are more visual and attention creatures than a lot of men. If you want a guy with a nice personality, you talk to him and appeal to his interests. If you want a visual man whore, you appeal to him with appearance. How many girls really take the time to talk to the average looking, quiet, nice guys and get to know them? Next to none.

Now, I fully understand dressing nicely is nice. It makes you feel good looking and confident in yourself. There is nothing wrong with that at all.
But if you're dressing purely to appeal to men sexually it will do nothing but attract those who will take advantage.

[Union Of V]

Originally Posted by Forsaken Archer

I find it both sad and pathetic you feel the need to comment on their clothing.

He could have not commented. However many girls don't realise that guys are actually saying (this I'm actually quoting) "if she dresses like a slut and acts like a slut, why should she complain that I treat her like a slut?" (not that I completely agree with that point of view, but it is a valid point).

Obviously many dress like that simply because their own friends dress thusly, but while dressing to appeal to men isn't the way to go about things, if you're searching you shouldn't dress to turn them away either.

[Double X]

Originally Posted by Union Of V

He could have not commented. However many girls don't realise that guys are actually saying (this I'm actually quoting) "if she dresses like a slut and acts like a slut, why should she complain that I treat her like a slut?" (not that I completely agree with that point of view, but it is a valid point).

Ouch...that's pretty much how I treat it. Dressing up can be hot, but it comes off as desperate for attention. If you don't respect yourself, why should I respect you?

[JackOffJill]

I think that some girls dress the way that they do thinking that they will get the attention they want even though they know the attention they will really get. A lot of girls who dress that way know how they will be treated but some continue to dress that way. I dont dress that way just because Im not comfortable with my body- but if I was, I probably would to be honest but my self-esteem is so low that I feel like any attention, even if its bad, is better than no attention. So some of these girls dress the way they do because they cant stand themselves and just want to feel wanted, needed, desired- even if its only as a slut (Im speaking from how I think and feel about myself).

[DarkSeph]

Originally Posted by JackOffJill

I think that some girls dress the way that they do thinking that they will get the attention they want even though they know the attention they will really get. A lot of girls who dress that way know how they will be treated but some continue to dress that way. I dont dress that way just because Im not comfortable with my body- but if I was, I probably would to be honest but my self-esteem is so low that I feel like any attention, even if its bad, is better than no attention. So some of these girls dress the way they do because they cant stand themselves and just want to feel wanted, needed, desired- even if its only as a slut (Im speaking from how I think and feel about myself).

That's definitely understandable. Even if you're being used it's still attention and you are desired by someone, and for some girls that's enough.

The only thing I don't understand is girls who dress and act like sluts, get used and taken advantage of, and then claim that ALL men are sex obsessed, thoughtless and only care about appearance. What exactly did they expect? -.- No kind, considerate, caring guy looking for a loving relationship is going to settle for someone dressed like a slut and obsessed with sex and appearances.

[Allons-y!]

Originally Posted by CanadaCraig

and wondering why he cares more about how they LOOK than about who they ARE.

If YOU are not attracting the sort of people who will appreciate YOU for being YOU - then maybe it's time you changed the 'bait' you're using.

Oh my god, such a good point. I don't think I've ever heard it put so simply before. Thanks for the insight.

[I-Love-him]

Originally Posted by DarkSeph

Interesting. First, I couldn't disagree more.

Second, men aren't always the ones pressuring girls. Girls pressure themselves more than anything. The listen to the media and the fact dressing down gives them immediate attention from the small percentage of guys who are sex-obsessed. The majority of guys prefer their gf's without make-up and actually think they look nicer dressed casually than slutty.

We aren't "visual creature" either. It's just a common stereotype. Personally, if I see a girl dressed down, tons of make-up and completely obsessed with her appearance.....I avoid her. It's a turn off. I assume her priorities are a good looking guy and sex, rather than personality and a caring relationship and I avoid her. And mr. sex obsessed moves in instead. And as a result, the girl believes men are ALL sex obsessed "visual" creatures.

Most girls who focus on their appearance would NEVER date a quiet, kind, generous guy. 90% of those types are more visual and attention creatures than a lot of men. If you want a guy with a nice personality, you talk to him and appeal to his interests. If you want a visual man whore, you appeal to him with appearance. How many girls really take the time to talk to the average looking, quiet, nice guys and get to know them? Next to none.

Now, I fully understand dressing nicely is nice. It makes you feel good looking and confident in yourself. There is nothing wrong with that at all.
But if you're dressing purely to appeal to men sexually it will do nothing but attract those who will take advantage.

Actually i used to not bother with makeup and not dress up or anything, i never got ANY attention of guys and always got called names etc etc. As soon as i started wearing makeup, wearing miniskirts,shorts,dresses etc etc i got attention!.

And actualy I focus a lot on my appearance because it IS important but i actualy do apreciate quiet, shy guys and they are my favourite type of guy.

Men are visual creatures, end of,theres no denying it.


And at the end of the day i agree with a recent poster. it's not your place to sit here and judge someone because of the way they dress and you have no right to bitch about girls who wear short,revealing stuff! i have a good body and i have the divine right to wear whatever the hell i want so i can be confident and show the world that i'm happy with my body! believe it or not but girls don't always dress up to attract you men! lol. They dress up for a number of reasons, for example to feel sexy, confident, happy, feminine etc etc etc.

Lastly, so you are all telling me that you would rather go into a night club and seen girls dressed in jeans and trainers and wear no makeup whatso ever??? LMAO come off it! you guys LOVE it when girls wear dresses or other clothes that show off there bodies!.

[DarkSeph]

Originally Posted by I-Love-him

Lastly, so you are all telling me that you would rather go into a night club and seen girls dressed in jeans and trainers and wear no makeup whatso ever??? LMAO come off it! you guys LOVE it when girls wear dresses or other clothes that show off there bodies!.

Yes, if she was someone who shared similar interests and we got on well, I would go out with her over all the dressed down girls in a heartbeat. Dead honest serious -.- You really wouldn't see that type in a nightclub though, mostly because all the sluttily dressed girls would make fun of her.

Women are just as much "visual creatures" as men. I'm definitely not great looking and I'm far too shy and quiet, though I do have at least a somewhat nice personality and I love helping and being caring to people, and 99.99% of girls either flat out ignore me or even tease or ridicule me. Girls can be just as shallow as men can.

Sorry, but it annoys me when girls go on and on about men being sex obsessed visual creatures and that women care about personality more, when it's absolute crap and guys with nice personality often go ignored. Girls are just obsessed with looks, maybe even more so. -.-

[PlayingPretend]

I have to agree with the both of you, Liam and I-Love-him.

I honestly feel that men are visual creatures but that women are too. Within the first three seconds of seeing someone, we've formed a first impression, whether we're aware of it or not. Dressing up, especially in the way of going to a night club or something of the sort, is a way to create an impression, but one has to wonder what sort of impression they're making.

Liam continuously refers to that dress as "slutty," and to be honest, I'm inclined to agree, though for me, it does depend on how the woman carries herself. There are strong, confident women who don't necessarily dress revealingly, but they dress well; they might show some leg or a little cleavage. These women, to me, don't scream for attention, simply because they carry themselves with confidence and they don't put out the vibe that they're crying for male attention. Women who dress in short skirts, low-cut shirts and who flash the flirty eyes to everything with a penis, however... Those are the women I peg as insecure and looking for the wrong sort of attention.

That being said, I'll dress up on a date night or sometimes even going to the beach, I'll put on a dress (during the summer, I like to wear dresses, but I wear long dresses, and the shorter dresses, I wear with leggings or jeans... though most of the time I'm sporting a t-shirt and jeans), but I don't care much for the attention. I've even dressed down to avoid it, to be honest, as it's not something I'm really keen on receiving. Especially since I don't want a guy looking at me because of my body.

But I also agree with Liam in that it's not gender specific. I've heard my sister's girlfriends talking about cute guys, or I've overheard other girls pointing out a "hottie" on the beach, so no, it's not something specific to guys, although I've heard more of my guy friends pointing out hot girls than vice versa. All the same, I don't care much for women who dress "up," when "up" refers to a nightclub style or a style revealing a lot of skin or cleavage. It's not attractive to me. Not sure why... It just isn't. I don't mind dressing up for a nice restaurant but for everyday wear? Eh, to each their own, but it's not what I personally find attractive.

[Singing to the starlight]

Originally Posted by DarkSeph

Girls pressure themselves more than anything.

True that.

Lets face it. Guys like sex. Guys like women and boobs. If you're a woman and you want sex, then you can get sex. You don't need to look you took a bath in glitter and lost half your clothes on the way to the club.

[ShimmeringFaerie]

Originally Posted by I-Love-him

i disagree completly with what your saying.
When girls go out dressed in nice dresses or short skirts etc etc they aren't ALWAYS doing it to attract male attention and also, if a guy was to sit here and say "yh i hate it when girls wear sexy clothes and make themselves look good" they are LYING!.at the end of the day, men are visual creatures, now i don't go out dressed up because i don't need to or want to go clubbing or anything like that BUT i will wear decent clothes and makeup and i don't do it for attention but i do it because i just feel disgusting if i don't wear makeup or dress up and if and when i do wear makeup and make an effort i will get noticed because men are visual! they go by what they see.

I'm sorry, but I actually found that and a lot of the other things you've said quite sexist. And very unfair. When I wake up in the morning with bed-hair, no makeup, and wearing a tshirt and flannelette pants, my boyfriend tells me that I look beautiful. And your opinion seems to be that in a case like that, he must be lying because he is a man and they only like it when girls are dressed up? That's just silly.

Guys are not completely mindless beings who only like girls who show off their bodies. In fact, all of the guys here have said that girls who dress like sluts are complete turn-offs. And I think it's a huge double-standard for you to say that you care about your appearance and then insult men because they apparently care about appearances.

And Craig isn't saying that all girls who get dressed up are doing it for male attention. He is saying that girls who wear practically nothing and stand outside nightclubs are looking for male attention. Which seems like a fairly reasonable assumption. If you wear clothes that are going to make you freeze to death while standing outside, shoes with painfully high heels, and makeup that looks like a mask, it seems unlikely that you are doing it to "boost your confidence".

You say something about girls are attracting the wrong attention but sometimes we need to dress up to get attention, it's how it works, we need to attract a guy first before we get to know them.

But that's exactly what Craig is saying. That girls shouldn't feel the need to dress up to get attention because it will only get them the wrong attention.

He is not bitching about girls who wear revealing clothes. He is trying to send an encouraging, positive message to girls who feel like they need to take off their clothes to attract any sort of attention. If you don't feel like that, then fine, that's great for you. But maybe what Craig is saying will help some girls who aren't as confident in themselves and their personalities. And I think that's a wonderful thing.

[I-Love-him]

Originally Posted by ShimmeringFaerie

I'm sorry, but I actually found that and a lot of the other things you've said quite sexist. And very unfair. When I wake up in the morning with bed-hair, no makeup, and wearing a tshirt and flannelette pants, my boyfriend tells me that I look beautiful. And your opinion seems to be that in a case like that, he must be lying because he is a man and they only like it when girls are dressed up? That's just silly.

Guys are not completely mindless beings who only like girls who show off their bodies. In fact, all of the guys here have said that girls who dress like sluts are complete turn-offs. And I think it's a huge double-standard for you to say that you care about your appearance and then insult men because they apparently care about appearances.

And Craig isn't saying that all girls who get dressed up are doing it for male attention. He is saying that girls who wear practically nothing and stand outside nightclubs are looking for male attention. Which seems like a fairly reasonable assumption. If you wear clothes that are going to make you freeze to death while standing outside, shoes with painfully high heels, and makeup that looks like a mask, it seems unlikely that you are doing it to "boost your confidence".



But that's exactly what Craig is saying. That girls shouldn't feel the need to dress up to get attention because it will only get them the wrong attention.

He is not bitching about girls who wear revealing clothes. He is trying to send an encouraging, positive message to girls who feel like they need to take off their clothes to attract any sort of attention. If you don't feel like that, then fine, that's great for you. But maybe what Craig is saying will help some girls who aren't as confident in themselves and their personalities. And I think that's a wonderful thing.

I'm not being sexist at all, i am being honest! Yes your boyfriend thinks your beautiful in the morning when you don't wear makeup and what not because he loves you and will think your beautiful regardless!. But walk out into the street and try attract men by wearing no makeup and your garenteed to not get any attention UNLESS you are gorgeous without makeup and whilst you wear just a shirt, jeans etc etc.

ok so if that is the case then answer this for me... i wore a dress today, quite a short one and i had no other blooming clothes because they are mostly in the wash or the other clothes i have but thats not important. so i wore a dress, went outside and got chatted up by guys, rude comments were made, i got bibbed at etc etc i found it all so annoying because today is not a good day for me and i did not want to attention! i didn't wear a dress to attract men believe it or not,i wore it because it's warm out and i had no other clothes to wear at all!. Not only were men being rude and offensive to me but some men were being very polite too! i didn't mind the politeness but the rudeness really peed me off!.And i'm sorry but it's mostly men which shout out rude terms,i don't mind them looking, but whistling, shouting, bibbing horns it's perverted and desperate in my mind! anyway, like i said i didn't want all the attention so when i got home i washed some dirty clothes and stuck them on (took me hours!!! argh!). I looked just average,plain and boring. Walked outside and guess what? NO men looked at me, paid attention to me or were polite to me.So if men are so turned off by girls who barely wear anything then WHY do you try so hard to chat us up when we are looking our best? but ignore us when we wear hardly any makeup and rubbish clothes?

My point there is men DO like women to dress up or whatever and no i'm not being sexist! and no i did not look like a slut before people start saying i did. at the end of the day, so many guys on here are moaning when us girls wear short skirts etc etc and yet when we are out in the streets you act more polite sometimes and sometimes even act a little rude or flirt more. When i go out in boring clothes with no makeup on, i never get attention, so mabye girls like to dress up because they feel it's the only way to get attention.also mabye they just want to dress up in general! leave us alone,we can do whatever the hell we like!. What i'm trying to say is, guys like girls to show off there bodies, like it or lump it and i think if guys are sitting here saying they don't like it,or it's a turn off then i just personally cannot believe that at all because if it's such a turn off then like i say why do you pay more attention to girls who dress up?

It's like us girls, we like it when men show off there bodies!.

At the end of the day us girls have gorgeous bodies and we have a right to show them off! we are not sluts, not after sex! we just want to express our confidence and we just want to dress up!.and guys, you love it!

[PlayingPretend]

I never took being shouted at, whistled at, etc. as complimenting, because oftentimes, when it's done, I feel objectified by it. It's like when someone shouted at me that I have a nice ass. Did I find that complimenting? Even flattering? Not at all; to be quite honest, it pissed me off. To me, cat calls, having a horn beeped at you, etc. isn't a compliment; I find it a rude and obnoxious way of saying "I'd tap that." That's not the sort of attention I want, haha, therefore, on your average day, I don't dress for that attention; I dress to avoid it. It's not positive attention, by any means (in my opinion), because who wants to feel that their appearance is being noted on the basis of being sexualised? But that's my opinion. I have also seen women do it to men, so I wouldn't quite say it's gender specific, either.

[I-Love-him]

Originally Posted by PlayingPretend

I never took being shouted at, whistled at, etc. as complimenting, because oftentimes, when it's done, I feel objectified by it. It's like when someone shouted at me that I have a nice ass. Did I find that complimenting? Even flattering? Not at all; to be quite honest, it pissed me off. To me, cat calls, having a horn beeped at you, etc. isn't a compliment; I find it a rude and obnoxious way of saying "I'd tap that." That's not the sort of attention I want, haha, therefore, on your average day, I don't dress for that attention; I dress to avoid it. It's not positive attention, by any means (in my opinion), because who wants to feel that their appearance is being noted on the basis of being sexualised? But that's my opinion. I have also seen women do it to men, so I wouldn't quite say it's gender specific, either.

yes but thats proof that they NOTICED YOU!!! this is what i'm getting at! how can we all sit here and say "o guys don't like girls who dress up and show there bodies" it's bull! i'm sorry it just is. Us girls like it when guys take there tops off, guys like it when girls wear clothes to show there bodies off!! yh wolf whistling can often be rude etc but it proves they like what you wear!.Yh ok if you don't want the attention then wear more clothes, just means your going to be baking hot in warm weather and you might not be noticed as much!!! sad truth is,it is easier to pull when wearing sexy clothes!. i never once said "only guys do it" never once did i say that, like i say both guys AND girls like it when the opposite sex show off there bodies, it's NATURAL to like seeing a bit of flesh!

[xxpaigiexx]

I work in a bar so I see A LOT of girls out and about that look like this in London.
There is nothing wrong with dressing up and looking your best but going out semi-dressed isn't really going to attract the right kind of attention. You might get attention for wearing barely any clothes but people aren't going to look at these girls and think she looks like a really nice girl, more than likely they are going to think this girl is easy, this girl is the kind of girl I can get a bit drunk and leave with tonight. The sad thing about this is it's usually NATURALLY pretty girls who just have low self-asteem that do this and I do pity them.
I think it's usually when you look more natural and toned down that you do attract the right kind of attention when you're out and you do get people more genuinely interested in speaking to you and getting to know you for the person you are.
Hair extensions, a face full of make-up and skimpy outfits isn't going to do this.

[DarkSeph]

The thing is when you walk out dressed down, with make up and not wearing much, it's an automatic attraction for all the guys who are purely visual creatures. No one is denying those types exist. But when you walk out pretty much all of them notice you and comment or give you attention. The only problem here is you're automatically deciding now that because of that, every man is a "visual creature".

Honestly, if you walk out wearing revealing clothing, does every single male in the area that you pass, whistle or beep their horn or comment? I'm sure if you looked around a good number wouldn't even be paying attention. You can't judge the entire male population based on a percentage.

Basically it boils down to what you're saying is, if you aren't good looking no one will be attracted to you?

[99 Problems]

Here's an idea, people go to nightclubs for one thing.

Fun.

You don't go to nightclubs to meet your dream guy or girl. That is ludicrous.

[Union Of V]

Originally Posted by I-Love-him

yes but thats proof that they NOTICED YOU!!! this is what i'm getting at! how can we all sit here and say "o guys don't like girls who dress up and show there bodies" it's bull! i'm sorry it just is. Us girls like it when guys take there tops off, guys like it when girls wear clothes to show there bodies off!!

Ok ok, let me give you an unlikely example. Say I walk into a pub and lo and behold, further down the bar is a girl, maybe 2 years older than me, dressed in an ivory black corset, knee-height leather boots and a bullwhip by her side. Have I noticed her? Yes! Am I turned on? Certainly! But I'm creeped out enough to make sure I stay at least 5ft away from her at all times!! Her clothing may be revealing, but it reveals more than her physical features - it also hints at her personality, and that's why wearing the wrong clothes will turn a lot of guys off pretty quickly.

[I-Love-him]

Originally Posted by DarkSeph

The thing is when you walk out dressed down, with make up and not wearing much, it's an automatic attraction for all the guys who are purely visual creatures. No one is denying those types exist. But when you walk out pretty much all of them notice you and comment or give you attention. The only problem here is you're automatically deciding now that because of that, every man is a "visual creature".

Honestly, if you walk out wearing revealing clothing, does every single male in the area that you pass, whistle or beep their horn or comment? I'm sure if you looked around a good number wouldn't even be paying attention. You can't judge the entire male population based on a percentage.

Basically it boils down to what you're saying is, if you aren't good looking no one will be attracted to you?

Actualy i do tend to notice that most men look! almost every car that passes has a man staring out the window drooling!. It's the same with girls, every girl checks out guys who have there tops off and what not.The only guys who i don't notice are the very very very old men!

If i was to sit here and say "men and women are not visual creatures at all" i would be completly indenial! it's ridiculous to think that we do not get turned on by someone who is visually good looking and it's stupid to say that guys would never want to date a girl because they are good looking,they'd just want to shag them because the girl is asking for it or whatever!.

YES! i must be honest and say yes, if you do not look attractive, if you don't try or aren't confident enough to wear nice clothes then yes people won't really find you attractive! and that is from my own personal experience. it's a sad fact of life and yes it is shallow but i firmly believe that unless you make an effort then you won't attract much attention! If it's only a small percentage of men that like really hot women then WHY do so many guys like celebs such as Cheryl cole, megan fox, katie price etc etc???

Before someone gets to know someone, they need to be attracted to them,they need to notice them first! and THEN they get to know them and ofcourse looks isn't everything but it is the first thing we notice about someone and if your going to be walking around in boring clothes with no makeup on and just looking ill and tired then you probly won't attract much attention and that is my honest opinion from my own personal experiences!

I also agree, if people seriously go to night clubs thinking they are going to meet the love of there life in there then they are ridiculous! night clubs are for people to have fun in and part of that fun is dressing up to show off or to feel good or whatever.

[I-Love-him]

Originally Posted by Union Of V

Ok ok, let me give you an unlikely example. Say I walk into a pub and lo and behold, further down the bar is a girl, maybe 2 years older than me, dressed in an ivory black corset, knee-height leather boots and a bullwhip by her side. Have I noticed her? Yes! Am I turned on? Certainly! But I'm creeped out enough to make sure I stay at least 5ft away from her at all times!! Her clothing may be revealing, but it reveals more than her physical features - it also hints at her personality, and that's why wearing the wrong clothes will turn a lot of guys off pretty quickly.

i'm not talking about corsets though am i LMAO i'm talking about short skirts, dresses etc etc.it's completly different, corsets are very sexual! dresses are made to make a lady feel confident and feminine.

[Union Of V]

Originally Posted by I-Love-him

i'm not talking about corsets though am i LMAO i'm talking about short skirts, dresses etc etc.it's completly different, corsets are very sexual! dresses are made to make a lady feel confident and feminine.

Reread my post.

It doesn't matter if a girl wears revealing clothing that turns a guy on - if her clothing says certain things about the girl, the guy will pick up on those too. In the case of the corset, that she's way out of his comfort zone. In the case of the slutty clothing, that she's a particular type of person.

[DarkSeph]

Well, I'm definitely not good looking, and when I really think about it, I'm not even sure if I'm trying to bring up a logical argument or just kidding myself. Going to back out of this debate.

[I-Love-him]

Originally Posted by Union Of V

Reread my post.

It doesn't matter if a girl wears revealing clothing that turns a guy on - if her clothing says certain things about the girl, the guy will pick up on those too. In the case of the corset, that she's way out of his comfort zone. In the case of the slutty clothing, that she's a particular type of person.

yh but that is the thing! you can't just judge someone on what they wear! just because a girl wear's short skirts or dresses does not make them a slut! i wear short dresses, does it mean i'm a slut? no! believe it or not i don't sleep around and i genuinly go for GOOD GUYS only! And in all honesty it's quite offensive to call girls sluts just because they wear revealing clothes.

[Union Of V]

Originally Posted by I-Love-him

yh but that is the thing! you can't just judge someone on what they wear! just because a girl wear's short skirts or dresses does not make them a slut! i wear short dresses, does it mean i'm a slut? no! believe it or not i don't sleep around and i genuinly go for GOOD GUYS only! And in all honesty it's quite offensive to call girls sluts just because they wear revealing clothes.

Indeed it is, but we're talking about first impressions here. If you dress yourself up to fit a stereotype, you shouldn't be surprised if people subconsciously fill in the rest of the said stereotype - people naturally assume what others are like, and if clothes are all you've got to go by then you'll start stereotyping based upon that.

[PlayingPretend]

Actually, it's not fair to say that every girl does it, anymore than it's fair to say every guy does it. There have been a couple occasions I've checked out a girl when she's been in a bikini and had the body for it, but I don't tend to notice most, and I don't tend to check people out. Even when I'm single, checking people out isn't something I tend to do. =/ Physical attraction to me comes last, after I've gotten to know the person, but that being said, I still get noticed when I'm dressed down. -shrug- And to be honest, I prefer that attention, because I know I'm more than likely being noticed for more than just my body (as people have said, it's a percentage of guys who are attracted to women who show quite a bit of skin, and to be honest, these guys are, in my opinion, the same guys who'll drool over anyone who shows that skin, be they attractive or not), just like I prefer being liked by someone who's talked to me. To be honest, I still don't agree that dressing up and showing off is by any means the only way of gaining a man's attention, and I would agree with Liam that it doesn't attract the attention of every guy. But hey, to each their own opinion I suppose.

[I-Love-him]

Originally Posted by PlayingPretend

Actually, it's not fair to say that every girl does it, anymore than it's fair to say every guy does it. There have been a couple occasions I've checked out a girl when she's been in a bikini and had the body for it, but I don't tend to notice most, and I don't tend to check people out. Even when I'm single, checking people out isn't something I tend to do. =/ Physical attraction to me comes last, after I've gotten to know the person, but that being said, I still get noticed when I'm dressed down. -shrug- And to be honest, I prefer that attention, because I know I'm more than likely being noticed for more than just my body (as people have said, it's a percentage of guys who are attracted to women who show quite a bit of skin, and to be honest, these guys are, in my opinion, the same guys who'll drool over anyone who shows that skin, be they attractive or not), just like I prefer being liked by someone who's talked to me. To be honest, I still don't agree that dressing up and showing off is by any means the only way of gaining a man's attention, and I would agree with Liam that it doesn't attract the attention of every guy. But hey, to each their own opinion I suppose.

mabye you are just a lucky one who looks good without dressing up etc!.i've dressed down,wore practically no makeup and wore rubbish clothes and the only attention i got was from bullies INCLUDING guys!

Then how else are we suppoesd to attract them? because to be quite honest the only way girls i know can attract men is if there tits are hanging out of there tops !! and that is the gods honest truth.

I've found, if you dress like a boring person who has no taste or confidence in clothes and you try to talk to the oposite sex, they will just ignore you or not be interested. It's happened so many times to me and fellow mates.

[Union Of V]

Originally Posted by I-Love-him

mabye you are just a lucky one who looks good without dressing up etc!.i've dressed down,wore practically no makeup and wore rubbish clothes and the only attention i got was from bullies INCLUDING guys!

Then how else are we suppoesd to attract them? because to be quite honest the only way girls i know can attract men is if there tits are hanging out of there tops !! and that is the gods honest truth.

I've found, if you dress like a boring person who has no taste or confidence in clothes and you try to talk to the oposite sex, they will just ignore you or not be interested. It's happened so many times to me and fellow mates.

How about, maybe dressing nicely, like you want to dress and not simply to expose your anatomy, and then trying the verbal route? And failing that, frequenting people who aren't sex-obsessed dimwits?

[Jocelyn.]

Originally Posted by I-Love-him

mabye you are just a lucky one who looks good without dressing up etc!.i've dressed down,wore practically no makeup and wore rubbish clothes and the only attention i got was from bullies INCLUDING guys!

Then how else are we suppoesd to attract them? because to be quite honest the only way girls i know can attract men is if there tits are hanging out of there tops !! and that is the gods honest truth.

I've found, if you dress like a boring person who has no taste or confidence in clothes and you try to talk to the oposite sex, they will just ignore you or not be interested. It's happened so many times to me and fellow mates.

I've been following this thread, and all I had to say is... Wow. Really? "How else are we supposed to attract them?" without our "tits hanging out?" Good luck with whatever guy you end up attracting. I'll have to agree with Union of V's last post...

[I-Love-him]

Originally Posted by Union Of V

How about, maybe dressing nicely, like you want to dress and not simply to expose your anatomy, and then trying the verbal route? And failing that, frequenting people who aren't sex-obsessed dimwits?

for your information, i DO dress nicely!. i wear skirts,dresses, shorts and i look nice and no i'm not cocky, i'm confident!

And ok, explain this one, when i used to dress like a complete boring idiot, i spoke to guys, i was friendly etc etc, howcome i always got ignored and rejected? and as soon as i got some fashion sense, i got noticed?

Originally Posted by ForeverHis

I've been following this thread, and all I had to say is... Wow. Really? "How else are we supposed to attract them?" without our "tits hanging out?" Good luck with whatever guy you end up attracting. I'll have to agree with Union of V's last post...

no it was a question, i genuinly am interested in how i'm supposed to attract them without dressing up nicely

[Jocelyn.]

Originally Posted by I-Love-him

no it was a question, i genuinly am interested in how i'm supposed to attract them without dressing up nicely

I do not at all consider "dressing up nicely" and "having your tits hanging out" the same thing in the least Which is what that sounded like. I have gotten the attention of many guys by wearing the same old boring clothes, a little bit of make-up... nothing special. Maybe its just the way I carry myself. You don't need to expose body parts, or have the greatest fashion sense to get attention. Not at all.

Well, maybe if you live in L.A. I guess...

[Union Of V]

Originally Posted by I-Love-him

for your information, i DO dress nicely!. i wear skirts,dresses, shorts and i look nice and no i'm not cocky, i'm confident!

Listen, you can dress nicely or dress like a slut, but not both so decide because my head's starting to spin!