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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 17th 2010, 11:59 PM

Hi Everyone!!

I hope you're having a dandy day.

A dad lost his cool on a school bus as he confronted a kid [Or kids?] who were bullying his daughter.

He was arrested.

Click on THIS to read the story.

Quite a few buttons are being pushed in ME as I reflect upon what happened.

Sure..... ideally..... it would have been better if the dad complained to the principal of the school and/or to the police and have them deal with it. But we ALL know how that usually turns out. In others words - NOTHING USUALLY HAPPENS. I'm not saying that the dad shouldn't have contacted them - but I can understand why he didn't. [Or why someone wouldn't]

I also can't help but think - being a bully victim myself - how nice it would have been if MY dad came to MY defense. But that never happened. So a part of me couldn't help but feel at least a little bit proud of the dad for standing up for his daughter.

And part of me [Whenever I'm feeling especially cynical] can't help but think that the school and the police are upset because the dad exposed to the world just how INeffective they really are. Let's face it - what the police do best is take witness statements to something that has ALREADY happened. They are not all that great at stopping things from happening. But that's my cynical side talking.

ALSO.......

That BULLY is not NOW suddenly an 'innocent victim'. [Because of what that little girl's dad did] He is STILL a bully - an abuser. And must be taken to task. But I doubt that will happen. [Given the type of person his mother is]

Like I said - this pushed a few buttons in me.

What's YOUR take on what happened?!

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Craig!!
   
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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 18th 2010, 12:14 AM

In a way, I can kind of sympathize with the man. If my daughter was bullied, I'd be upset too. As much as I agree with the man, I don't think that he made the right choice. Yes, those kids deserved to be taught a lesson if, in fact, they were bullying his daughter. For one thing, those kids shouldn't even HAVE condoms at that age. What he should've done was complain to the principal and have them supply surveillance footage of his daughter being bullied and have all the kid's parents notified. If they didn't have footage, I would sue the school for not having footage. But I know that the bus driver's upmost concern is the kid's safety because their lives depend on the bus driver. The man put lives at risk, and potentially his own. Even if I agree with the man, he could've handled the situation differently. And he acknowledges that, and hopefully he did teach the kids a lesson to not mess with his daughter. If you're going to go down swinging, at least do something that you intended to do.

What he should do is teach his daughter self-defense; to teach her to stand up for herself. Like you say, he's still a bully even if he was "scared" that the man yelled at him. No one deserves to be taken advantage of, especially when she, probably, didn't do anything to provoke being bullied in the first place.
   
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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 18th 2010, 12:52 AM

considering i used to be bullied i know if any kid did that to my daughter id likelly rip the kids arms out of there sockets...

i know from personal experiance that going to the princibal has no effect all it does is usually make it worse.. so hopefully that guy scared the shit out of the kid and he decides that next time he thinks about messing with someone they might also have a father who wont tolerate that crap being directed at there daughter...
   
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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 18th 2010, 01:10 AM

To me this seems a lot like "bullying the bully", carried out by a 42-year old teenager.

If you couldn't tell, I don't think much of the guy. I understand wanting to protect your daughter, but there are a dozen better ways to do that than screaming at a kid; let alone an entire bus full of them. The bully in question might not be an "innocent victim" but he is a victim, and of a grown man who should have known better. We ask good behavior of children, but we don't expect that we will always get it because they are just children. There's a reason that we almost literally never consider children legally accountable for their actions. We should however expect good behaviour of other adults. Someone who claims they had no other choice when they hadn't even attempted any of their other choices doesn't inspire my confidence at all.

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considering i used to be bullied i know if any kid did that to my daughter id likelly rip the kids arms out of there sockets...
I really, really, really really really hope you're joking about physically attacking a child.

Let me ask you lot a question: How would you react if another adult screamed at or beat your child, absolutely regardless of the reason?


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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 18th 2010, 01:36 AM

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Originally Posted by Xujhan View Post
I really, really, really really really hope you're joking about physically attacking a child.

Let me ask you lot a question: How would you react if another adult screamed at or beat your child, absolutely regardless of the reason?
nope... i had my own demons of being bullied by other kids i know the psycological effects it causes and i know rarelly the princibal or school will do anything about it besides give the offending student a "talk"...some times there things a man has to do to protect his family not alot of people agree with them till there put in the situation...

ill give 2 answers for that question...

if for no reason id probally let my muscles do the talking.

if the guy had a reason and it was a good one (like my son sexually harrasing a girl or beating up some other kid for no reason) id probally buy him a cigar and a drink and thank him...
   
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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 18th 2010, 01:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xujhan View Post
I really, really, really really really hope you're joking about physically attacking a child.

Let me ask you lot a question: How would you react if another adult screamed at or beat your child, absolutely regardless of the reason?
Once again Florida, why am I surprised.

When I was 18 my brother was 10 and one day a kid threw a chair across the room (before the teacher came in) and said that that was my brother. This was just the most violent in a long string of teasing from this kid. When I heard this all I wanted to do was hunt the little prick down and beat his face in. Of course I didn't and probably wouldn't have, though if I ever had been face to face with the bastard I would have exchanged some words. I did think about bringing some of the guys from my high school, a football player and one guy who was over 6 feet, not to do anything merely for their intimidating presence.

If anyone beat my child, then there would be absolute hell to pay. Screaming, that certainly depends on the situation. I mean parents scream at their kids often, if they deserved it. I certainly hope my child wouldn't do anything worth being screamed at, or at least that I wasn't aware of and didn't handle the situation myself first.

Cursing probably wasn't the best choice, and neither was physically threatening. I think the idea behind the action was good, the carrying out of it was very faulty.


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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 18th 2010, 02:26 AM

I feel like the dad is justified in doing what he did, I don't have a daughter but when some kids were bullying my little sister, which just happened, I think I am going to go to his house and basically flip out on him.


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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 18th 2010, 02:27 AM

Quote:
Jones' daughter has cerebral palsy and the students allegedly taunted her, hit her and threw condoms at her.


I assume the bullies were also charged with disorderly conduct....
That's messed up, I can understand why the father did what he did, he was trying to to defend his daughter with special needs. But the bullies need some punishment too.


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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 18th 2010, 11:05 AM

If my daughter was being bullied I'd be EXTREMELY tempted myself to do what he done. I have to admit I do feel slight sympathy towards him :/ Then again he is the adult in this situation, he should have handled it better.


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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 18th 2010, 10:00 PM

I think the only real victem here is the poor little girl who was bullied
   
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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 18th 2010, 10:15 PM

I'll be honest; the amount of vigilantism in this thread actually frightens me. I understand that most people here have had bad experiences with bullying; I'm no exception to that. I can understand that everyone wants to protect their family, but I can't understand how people think it's okay to attack children regardless of the justification.


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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 18th 2010, 10:44 PM

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Originally Posted by The ANTI-Troll View Post
if the guy had a reason and it was a good one (like my son sexually harrasing a girl or beating up some other kid for no reason) id probally buy him a cigar and a drink and thank him...
That's kinda worrying tbh. If your son beat up another kid without reason and that kids dad beat your son up, you'd buy the man a drink?

So, if you found out your son had done something really bad...how would you react yourself? Beat the daylights out of him? Not only is it illegal, it's very unlikely the violence would actually solve anything. And I'd hate to be your son.


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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 18th 2010, 10:47 PM

Quote:
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I'll be honest; the amount of vigilantism in this thread actually frightens me. I understand that most people here have had bad experiences with bullying; I'm no exception to that. I can understand that everyone wants to protect their family, but I can't understand how people think it's okay to attack children regardless of the justification.
the kid in this incident was 13 i believe atleast from the story he had to know better so i wouldnt really cal him a child..

look at columbine look at other attacks where kids go crazy and start killing people who bullied them..

id rather i get thrown in prison for a decade or so for taking it into my own hands then have to witness my kid possibally ending up killing a few kids and maybe himself ... its a lesser evil of the 2 the kid learns that theres always someone bigger and meaner and people wont mess with your kid anymore...

schools dont do anything all they do is say theyll talk to the student... then what happens ? the kid gets beat to crap cause he told a teacher and alienated from the rest of the school...
   
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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 18th 2010, 10:52 PM

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That's kinda worrying tbh. If your son beat up another kid without reason and that kids dad beat your son up, you'd buy the man a drink?

So, if you found out your son had done something really bad...how would you react yourself? Beat the daylights out of him? Not only is it illegal, it's very unlikely the violence would actually solve anything. And I'd hate to be your son.
likelly i wont tolerate having a bully for a son or a daughter...

do the same i got from my father... id tan his ass last i knew spanking your kid aint against the law or atleast it isnt in my state..
   
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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 18th 2010, 10:55 PM

For everyone following the debate who isn't completely jaded yet, I'd like to point out that not all schools and teachers are totally useless. Many do - and this may shock you - actually care about their students.


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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 18th 2010, 11:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xujhan View Post
I'll be honest; the amount of vigilantism in this thread actually frightens me. I understand that most people here have had bad experiences with bullying; I'm no exception to that. I can understand that everyone wants to protect their family, but I can't understand how people think it's okay to attack children regardless of the justification.
I wouldn't consider being yelled at an attack. I don't think anyone in this thread has said that they would support the beating of the child by another person.


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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 18th 2010, 11:26 PM

I have been bullied many many times so I know how it feels, but the man acted totally wrong.
I understand that he was very angry, but yelling and violence is going way too far.
Basically he, himself, was a bully too.
That doesn't in any way excuse the kids who bullied his daughter of course, but the dad acted wrong.
Adults are supposed to be role models and that dad showed those kids the wrong way to deal with things like that.
He could have called the children's parents or even called the police.

I am glad he apologized though.
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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 19th 2010, 12:48 AM

ok yes swearing at the children was wrong and he shouldnt of screamed at them but i feel he did have the right to confront them and ask them to stop and give them a warning that if it kept happening he would take it further he should not of threatened sweared or screamed but he admits he was in the wrong and i feel he should just apologise to the kids the bus driver and the school and it be forgotten he never actually laid a hand on a child so in my eyes he shouldnt be charged just given a official warning
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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 21st 2010, 12:27 AM

I give credit for the father for caring for his daughter by sticking up for her, despite doing it in a pretty poorly controlled way by acting like a 42-year old kid. I don't give credit to him for taking the route that he did by threatening and yelling at kids. Hopefully though the kids do stop bullying the daughter out of fear that her father will come racing to them with a pick-axe and swinging fists.

This reminds me of one of the songs by Nickelback (not a fan of) where in one song they're singing about domestic abuse where the child (singer) is witnessing and at one point it says in reference to the father: "You're just a child with a temper".

Some schools actually have teachers who do get involved with cutting out the bullying, many teachers don't though. However, that's not an excuse for doing what he did. If he wanted to stick up for his daughter without contacting the school, he'd have been better off contacting the parents of those kids and telling them what was happening to his daughter. That may create some tension between families but it'd be a better, more mature way.


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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 21st 2010, 12:39 AM

I don't think it's something to make a fiasco about when a dad swears at a few petulant brats on a schoolbus. He did what he needed to to protect his daughter, and nobody else was intervening in the situation. I says kudos to him.


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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 21st 2010, 01:36 AM

Lord help us. I feel sorry for the little girl. More than likely, she'll get more shit at school now than before because her father did that. He acted totally wrong, he should not have acted like that toward those kids. He should have went to the school or the police. You don't just bully a child for bullying your child, that makes it worse for your child. I'm with Fletcher on this one.


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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 21st 2010, 02:31 AM

I think he acted absolutely within his rights to swear at the little punk-ass brats, teaches them a lesson.


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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 21st 2010, 12:16 PM

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For everyone following the debate who isn't completely jaded yet, I'd like to point out that not all schools and teachers are totally useless. Many do - and this may shock you - actually care about their students.
dude no way, schools caring about the kids? ive never ever seen that before, is it in some fantasy land where the trees are made of chocolate too?


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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 21st 2010, 10:00 PM

I see no problem with this. Other than him being arrested. I think the kids who bullied her should be thrown off the back of the bus while it's moving. Bullying is unacceptable, end of. Anyone who bullies deserves what they get.
   
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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 22nd 2010, 12:57 AM

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dude no way, schools caring about the kids? ive never ever seen that before, is it in some fantasy land where the trees are made of chocolate too?
I do hope you're just being sarcastic, but on the off-chance you aren't that fantasy land is called Canada.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Matthew
I see no problem with this. Other than him being arrested. I think the kids who bullied her should be thrown off the back of the bus while it's moving. Bullying is unacceptable, end of. Anyone who bullies deserves what they get.


Bullying is unacceptable, yes. So it applying adult justice to children. We punish children to teach them to be better, not to exact revenge. Reacting with screaming and violence teaches them nothing that we want them to learn.




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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 22nd 2010, 02:09 AM

Sounds like protective-dad-instnict kicked in. It was a bad choice, but I think it was normal dadness.

He needed to address the problem in a more rational manner though.


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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 22nd 2010, 02:29 AM

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I do hope you're just being sarcastic, but on the off-chance you aren't that fantasy land is called Canada.

lol i wasnt that sarcastic, here in the US the school system is horrible when it comes bullying. all they care about is getting funding and telling everyone how there sports team is doing.


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Re: Dad Apologizes for losing his cool on a School Bus - September 22nd 2010, 02:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by buckethead View Post
lol i wasnt that sarcastic, here in the US the school system is horrible when it comes bullying. all they care about is getting funding and telling everyone how there sports team is doing.
if the kids doing the bulling are on the sports team you can forget about them ever getting introuble :/
   
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