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Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 8th 2010, 05:39 PM


I found this little gem while browsing some boards, and I'd like to know what you think. I think I'm going to try and stay out of the debate myself, unless any of you makes a stupid comment!
   
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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 8th 2010, 05:50 PM

While unfortunate...the lesbian couples are well within their right to ask for child support since the law dictates he is a legal father of the children. Should have been more careful? His good intention causes him this disaster. Maybe he could push for an amendment to the law whereas two parties can agree beforehand whether the donor would be a legal parent of the child? I certainly hope so.


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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 8th 2010, 06:38 PM

Given the big picture, I don't think he should have had to pay anything for the child. But because he didn't do it 'legally' and through the system, he has caught himself out and now he's stuck with that responsibility. Are the lesbian couple actually asking for the money? If so, that's unfair of them. They made the agreement with the gentleman that he would have no emotional or financial connection with the child, it's unfair for them to go against their word. They are two people, and couple and they should be able to look after their child without anymore money.

I think they should leave the poor guy alone and get the second parent to adopt the child so it's 'rightfully' and legally theirs. This guy shouldn't have anything to do with the family. He did a nice thing for the couple, and they went against their word, I don't think that's fair at all.

But of course, the guy has nothing to protect him now. The laws are there and he's going to be forced to abide by them. I know it's unfair, completely. But I think he's stuck.

Unfortunate.



   
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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 8th 2010, 06:49 PM

I agree with the law he should pay child support and give monthy checks to the couple for their own good.
How can the couple even have the guts to do that to the poor man after he gave gave them his sperm because they asked? Back-stabbing the poor man. This just shows you can't trust anyone anymore.


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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 8th 2010, 06:50 PM

Don't you sign away your rights? I thought that is how it is done here at least.
Didn't read the article because i can't focus ATM. xD.




   
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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 8th 2010, 07:15 PM

I didn't read the article, but that's just ridiculous to me.


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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 8th 2010, 07:25 PM

You kind of need to read the article to get why this has happened, guys!

He was told he needed to pay because he donated the sperm without going through the legal process. Therefore, his rights weren't handed over, and he is still liable for the sperm and the child he produced.

But it's still messed up.



   
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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 8th 2010, 07:46 PM

If he is legally the father, perhaps he should take them to court and demand custody rights. That might make them drop this whole child-support thing :P.

I agree that he should have made sure he was protected legally. However, he was trying to do something nice for a friend and now they've just turned around on him. I think the whole situation is just horrible and it's one of those things that makes you wonder if there are any reasonable, decent people left in the world.



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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 8th 2010, 08:02 PM

That is what he gets for donating sperm to a friend without going through a fertility clinic. If he went to a fertility clinic then this wouldn't have happened because they would have went through the process properly and he wouldn't have been classed as the father.
Like it said in the article they didn't got through a fertility clinic and the parents didn't adopt the child so he was still the biological father. I have no sympathy for him really.

The new UK laws now says children are allow to find their sperm donor father when they are 18 but they can't demand child support off them as they are over 18 now.

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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 8th 2010, 08:06 PM

I feel really bad for the guy, but it's his own fault. He should have checked out the legal implications before going through with his donation.


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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 8th 2010, 08:07 PM

So much for doing a favour to the poor people who can't conceive naturally. You get so much stick at the end of it. People just screw you over.



   
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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 8th 2010, 08:17 PM

My thoughts...


Guy got screwed over, big time. Unfortunately, he SHOULD have gone through the actual clinic so that this didn't happen. Legally, he's screwed. Morally, he's being screwed by two horrible... I was this to calling those creatures human.
   
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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 9th 2010, 12:43 AM

This...this has got to be a joke.


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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 9th 2010, 03:11 AM

Firstly, the Lesbian couple wasn't demanding child support. The state was demanding that he pay child support because he is legally the father. No where does it say that the two women are asking for child support. They got what they wanted from him years ago.

Second, he shouldn't have to pay for the children, but since he didn't do it the legal way, it's mostly his own fault.


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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 9th 2010, 03:24 AM

It says it right at the top the state is the one who wants him to pay. And after the child was born a law was passed that would fix the problem, so he's pushing for an amendment making the law retroactive.
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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 9th 2010, 03:50 AM

Story is from 2007. It pointed out laws have been changed

Anyway. If its not done through the existing system, or legal contracts.... it's simply a informal transaction, its impossible to prove it was a sperm donation of the nature where there will be no future involvement. it'd also make it easier for other men to get out of their responsibilities for their children by claiming it was a sperm donation, and that the woman in question is lying. Legal methods of things are set up to give you evidence of whats going on.
   
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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 9th 2010, 07:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Invert View Post
Story is from 2007. It pointed out laws have been changed

Anyway. If its not done through the existing system, or legal contracts.... it's simply a informal transaction, its impossible to prove it was a sperm donation of the nature where there will be no future involvement. it'd also make it easier for other men to get out of their responsibilities for their children by claiming it was a sperm donation, and that the woman in question is lying. Legal methods of things are set up to give you evidence of whats going on.
Not to bring another debate into this but, you realise very few men try and get out of child support simply because they don't care? Most men who pay child support pay more than their wife, don't have custody and are still expected to pay to look after the kids the wife is supposed to be able to care for.

If I could find the link, I would but for now you'll have to take my extremely well-informed word. 85% of men arrested for being behind on child support are arrested because they cannot pay. Do you see the problem with the law there? If you cannot pay your wife to look after your child, you will be sent to jail, which is the wonderful state of the law here.
   
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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 9th 2010, 07:54 AM

He said he agreed with the couple that he wouldn't have to pay but that's irrelevant since the couple aren't demanding the money. Even if they were, it sounds like it was a verbal contract without other witnesses so the couple could easily deny that such a contract ever existed. But it's the state that's demanding the money as he legally is the biological father and needs to pay up. It's too bad for him the laws have changed but I imagine others would be in similar situations as well trying to make the laws retroactive.

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I didn't read the article, but that's just ridiculous to me.
I think it's ridiculous not reading the article then saying the article is ridiculous.

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Originally Posted by ShimmeringFaerie
However, he was trying to do something nice for a friend and now they've just turned around on him. I think the whole situation is just horrible and it's one of those things that makes you wonder if there are any reasonable, decent people left in the world.
Read it again. The couple are happy, they're not going after him. The state is going after him.


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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 9th 2010, 08:45 AM

If the couple aren't demanding the money, then why didn't they just legally adopt the children so that he wouldn't have to pay?



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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 9th 2010, 09:34 AM

This is stupid, but I guess it's what you get when you don't do things through the proper legal channels.


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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 9th 2010, 11:33 AM

Pretty easy to fix, though: if the CSA orders that he makes child support payments, the lesbian couple can presumably just send him the money back.



   
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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 9th 2010, 02:29 PM

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Not to bring another debate into this but, you realise very few men try and get out of child support simply because they don't care? Most men who pay child support pay more than their wife, don't have custody and are still expected to pay to look after the kids the wife is supposed to be able to care for.

If I could find the link, I would but for now you'll have to take my extremely well-informed word. 85% of men arrested for being behind on child support are arrested because they cannot pay. Do you see the problem with the law there? If you cannot pay your wife to look after your child, you will be sent to jail, which is the wonderful state of the law here.
This is irrelevent and off topic, and missing my point due to your over defensiveness. I was not talking about the majority of men, and at the end of the day, without legal contracts, there is no evidence of informal agreements. As its about the welfare of the children, it should be more responsibly done. Simple as. Of course the civil partnership/marriage, adoption or a future contract should be able to absolve a man of responsibility if not previously done, but as the default, informal sperm donations are going to be problematic sometimes.

I'll leave it at that, because this is not a thread about child support in general.

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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 9th 2010, 02:52 PM

You did something under the table? How dare you defy the state! Pay child support even if they don't want you to!
   
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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 9th 2010, 04:20 PM

Though I also have to add, if the lesbians or a family member havent made an issue of the situation to the CSA, why are the CSA even looking into it. How is it linked to the man? Its seems likely either the couple (or family members of the couple, or potentially even the man) are going back on the deal, or the deal was not as he claims to be.

That, or the CSA decided to make an issue of it, to publically make an example of the case?
   
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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 9th 2010, 05:45 PM

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That is what he gets for donating sperm to a friend without going through a fertility clinic. If he went to a fertility clinic then this wouldn't have happened because they would have went through the process properly and he wouldn't have been classed as the father.
Like it said in the article they didn't got through a fertility clinic and the parents didn't adopt the child so he was still the biological father. I have no sympathy for him really.

The new UK laws now says children are about to find their sperm donor father when they are 18 but they can't demand child support off them as they are over 18 now.
That sucks for anyone considering sperm donation. I wouldn't want a child or multiple children to come find me 18 years later. Some people honestly donate sperm for the extra money. They usually have high standards for those that can donate, but a former roommate donated sperm just for cash.


I have heard of a previous case two to four years ago where someone donated sperm to a couple, but then one of the two women split leaving the other one alone with the child. So then she went to file for benefits and had to cough up the father's name. I think it was in the USA though.
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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 9th 2010, 05:55 PM

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That sucks for anyone considering sperm donation. I wouldn't want a child or multiple children to come find me 18 years later. Some people honestly donate sperm for the extra money. They usually have high standards for those that can donate, but a former roommate donated sperm just for cash.
In the UK you can't sell your sperm either. You don't get any money for donating anything including sperm, eggs, organs or blood.

They are currently trying to find new incentives to get men to donate sperm and women to donate eggs as the amount of donors are so low now because of that new law.
   
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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 9th 2010, 06:21 PM

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In the UK you can't sell your sperm either. You don't get any money for donating anything including sperm, eggs, organs or blood.

They are currently trying to find new incentives to get men to donate sperm and women to donate eggs as the amount of donors are so low now because of that new law.
It isn't quite true that you don't get any money: UK sperm and egg donors can claim related expenses and for loss of earnings up to a maximum. There's supposed to be no financial incentive for donations, though.



   
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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 10th 2010, 03:58 AM

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If the couple aren't demanding the money, then why didn't they just legally adopt the children so that he wouldn't have to pay?
If they made the agreement that he wouldn't have to pay, then they probably weren't expecting this. As for why they didn't adopt, they wanted to have a child by birth. Why they wanted that instead of adoption, you have to ask them.


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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 10th 2010, 08:48 AM

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If they made the agreement that he wouldn't have to pay, then they probably weren't expecting this. As for why they didn't adopt, they wanted to have a child by birth. Why they wanted that instead of adoption, you have to ask them.
I think she meant why didn't they legally adopt the sperm donor's child. That is where the problem is because they didn't adopt the child the sperm donor was technically the birth father and why he has to pay child support.
   
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Re: Sperm Donor To Pay Child Support - November 10th 2010, 10:37 AM

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I think she meant why didn't they legally adopt the sperm donor's child. That is where the problem is because they didn't adopt the child the sperm donor was technically the birth father and why he has to pay child support.
Yes, that's exactly what I meant.

Also there are other articles, like this one: http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/l...cle2994783.ece, that mention that the CSA only came after him after the lesbian couple split up. So the woman who left gets away without paying any child support, which seems ridiculously unfair considering the circumstances.



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