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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Lying to your children - November 17th 2010, 08:02 PM

There have been a few people on the Santa thread who have said they won't tell their kids about Santa because they never want to lie to their kids. I was just wondering if people agree with me on how silly that is.

I mean all good parents lie to their children. There are some things that children just shouldn't know as children. Or how about your tone death 14 year old daughter wants to be a singer, what are you going to do, tell her it's never going to happen. Tell her that she's just not talented enough to make it, that it's a hard enough to make a career as a singer and she's got no chance. Or what if she wants to be a model, but she's not the type at all, are you going to tell her she's just not pretty enough?

The best parts of childhood are dreams. Dreaming about all of the things we think we can be, like it or not these dreams start from fairy tales. Santa and the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny, these are not things to be ashamed of believing in or helping your children believe in. And realistically they are going to hear about it in school, and if they come home asking about it and you tell them it's not real, and they go to school and tell everyone else that, oooh the angry parent phone calls will NEVER end.


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Re: Lying to your children - November 17th 2010, 08:15 PM

Those examples aren't the best for me. If my child wanted to be a singer or model and it was 100% obvious it wouldn't happen I would tell them. I wouldn't be as harsh as you put it but I would do anything I could to save them from the embarrassment.

I have seen so many children/teenagers go on programmes like the x factor with their parents encouragement when they couldn't sing and then ended up being laughed at and crying...

Even when it came to fashion and make up and stuff I made some bad choices as teenager and my mum would tell me as nice as possible it is not right for me and then she would guide me to something that suited me better to stop me going out looking a mess and getting laughed at and bullied.

I know I will tell my children white lies but for these examples I would try my best not too. Of course when they are young I am going to push the "you can be what you want to be act" but when they get to a certain age and start considering their future seriously I would push them towards being realistic.

Last edited by Melody Pond; November 17th 2010 at 09:59 PM.
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 17th 2010, 08:30 PM

You mean to tell me that Santa isn't real?

I'm 20 and what is this
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 17th 2010, 08:35 PM

Some things children should be lied to about, other things, even if hurtful, shouldn't. For example, if the child really wants to be with their uncle for a week even though they've been lied to he's a nice guy and not really a pedophiliac cannabilistic necrophiliac, that's something the kids should be told the truth on. Perhaps not use such words as they may not understand the concepts. However, something like believing the tooth fairy will come and put money under the pillow if you put a baby tooth under the pillow is something where if it makes the child happy knowing, then let them be lied to about that. Likewise, if a child was terrified of thunderstorms to a point where telling them to relax and they're safe isn't working, then if a lie of it's god playing bowling calms them, then keep it up. Later, they'll figure out it's not true or you'll tell them.

The same goes for Santa. Lying to them so they'll be good because they think a fat man with flying animals is going to bring his fat arse down the chimney then magically climb back up after eating milk and cookies, isn't that bad. It happens only once a year and them believing in Santa doing this really doesn't harm them. If they question why Santa didn't get a certain thing, then fairy tale babble about Santa could be good enough.


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Re: Lying to your children - November 17th 2010, 08:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brandon
You mean to tell me that Santa isn't real?

I'm 20 and what is this




I could never lie to my children.
I find it hard to lie to anyone.
It makes me physically sick.

I know that some people think it necessary to "protect" their children.
... But really, what are we protecting them from? Eventually, the truth comes out (e.g., Brandon JUST NOW finding out about Santa ), and what are the kids left with?
A small seed of anger, regret, and hurt.
Sure, they get over it, they're kids, it's what they do.
But it's still lying, and lying is not right.

(in my honest opinion, of course)
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 17th 2010, 08:40 PM

i find this sort of humerous so to be a good parent by what you said i have to lie to them ?

telling kids life is full of happyness, unicorns,fairytales lollipops and gumdrops, is stupid kids need to know life isnt easy it aint a fairytale and if you want something you have to fight for it. telling them truelove falls in there life like in fairytales and that the good guy always wins is stupid and telling them fantasy stories just sets them up for a rather horribal realization when they find out..

i remember my parents telling me a lie abot something im not gonna post here but when i realized they lied i didnt trust them for a long timeee... or when parent spell out words infront of young children so they dont know what they say and when asked what they spelled they say something completelly different....my theory is if you have to lie to your children about stuff your obviously doing something or talking about something you shouldnt around them so when asked about it you have the obligation to answer them and not lie...
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 17th 2010, 08:41 PM

On the other thread I said I wouldn't want to lie about Santa to my kids, but I agree that good parents tell lies to their kids; arguably they are still lies but they're not always hurtful. Like lying about the facts of life until they're a suitable age to know about it... I would try to avoid lying outright, but I would certainly dodge the question if they asked at a very young age.




   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 17th 2010, 09:00 PM

Of course you shouldn't lie to your child on a regular basis, but there are some lies that aren't bad and won't harm a child. For example, lots of parents make up silly things to get their children to behave. I think first I would try to get them to behave with the truth, but if that didn't work then I don't think it's a big deal if you make something up. My step-mom used to do that a lot and I feel like it actually made me closer to her.


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Re: Lying to your children - November 17th 2010, 09:05 PM

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Originally Posted by Kismet View Post
Of course you shouldn't lie to your child on a regular basis, but there are some lies that aren't bad and won't harm a child. For example, lots of parents make up silly things to get their children to behave. I think first I would try to get them to behave with the truth, but if that didn't work then I don't think it's a big deal if you make something up. My step-mom used to do that a lot and I feel like it actually made me closer to her.
I started baby sitting my little brother when he was 6 and I was 14. I had him convinced that I had a special phone built into my head where I only had to say my parents' cell phone number and it would call them. So whenever he would't listen to me I started reciting the phone number and he would do as he was told. Sigh, those were good times.


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Re: Lying to your children - November 17th 2010, 09:22 PM

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Originally Posted by thebigmole View Post
I started baby sitting my little brother when he was 6 and I was 14. I had him convinced that I had a special phone built into my head where I only had to say my parents' cell phone number and it would call them. So whenever he would't listen to me I started reciting the phone number and he would do as he was told. Sigh, those were good times.
lol that's a good one!


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Re: Lying to your children - November 17th 2010, 09:45 PM

I tell my son the "Big Turkey" (big inflatable turkey) at the grocery store is sleeping right now so we can't go shake his hand...... Obviously as it's a big inflatable balloon there is no way he can be sleeping.
But there is nothing I need from the store, and he's just getting over a cold. Telling him a simple "No we're not going there right now" does not work on him and he'll just keep asking to go.

We also tell him that Grandma and Grandpa are sleeping when he asks us to take him over there at 10pm.


I lie to my son. You don't want to lie to your kids fine.... get back to me when you actually have a child of your own and let me know what you end up lying about.


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Re: Lying to your children - November 17th 2010, 09:48 PM

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Originally Posted by imapiekindaguy View Post


I could never lie to my children.
I find it hard to lie to anyone.
It makes me physically sick.

What, so your kids won't ever get money from the 'tooth fairy' or get presents from 'santa.' Don't you feel sorry for your kids, its kinda like leaving them out of it. Ask any kid what they think of at christmas time and surely most of them will say santa. Its such a magical time for children its not right that you go and ruin it!

On the topic as a whole, if the lie wont hurt the child then it is absolutely fine. Some lies do children good, for example to get me off the bottle my mum 'lost' the bottle. (LOL I actually only realised last year she had hidden it, all my life I genuinely thought she'd lost it)
I think its worse for a child to be told that Santa isn't real when they are young than for them to believe it for so long and then find out when they are older. I believed in Santa till I was like 9 or 10, then after that mum and I have always joked about santa being real and we've always pretended he was, because at 10 years old I was old enough to understand that mum didn't lie to me all these years, she just went along with it Christmas just isnt the same when presents are just exchanged, thats like a birthday...theres something about santa and reindeer that make christmas so special
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 17th 2010, 11:19 PM

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[font="Trebuchet MS"][color="DarkOrchid"][size="2"]

What, so your kids won't ever get money from the 'tooth fairy' or get presents from 'santa.' Don't you feel sorry for your kids, its kinda like leaving them out of it. Ask any kid what they think of at christmas time and surely most of them will say santa. Its such a magical time for children its not right that you go and ruin it!

I wouldn't deprive my child of money of their own, and certainly not of presents.
I never stated that, in any way, shape, or form.
And I don't appreciate the insinuation that I would be wronging my child in any way, by being completely honest with them.

My parents never told me about the Tooth Fairy. When I lost a tooth, they would give me money (just as every parent who uses the Tooth Fairy lie does), but I didn't need any pretense for it. I just gladly accepted the money.

I never believed in the Easter Bunny, and I still received candy and small presents on Easter. I also celebrated the "Easter Egg hunt" with my cousins, but that was simply another way to gain candy. We didn't need to believe that a rabbit hid them for us.

I never believed in Santa, and my parents never tried to lie to me about him. Yet, I always received presents on Christmas, we gathered around the Christmas tree like a happy family, and shared a good time. I didn't need a lie to live through my childhood. Nor do any children. Christmas was no less special to me than it would be to a Santa-child.

Just think, if you had never been told about Santa, never had any clue of the myth, and you still received presents on Christmas, would be upset with your parents if you found out that they weren't lying to you? Of course not, and similar logic applies in real life. If asked by a child about Santa (yes, even if they were not my own) I would not mince words; I would be perfectly honest with them, and state that he is not real. The child may be upset, but, as I said, they would get over it in time; and feel respected by their parents, to boot.

My above statement also applies to the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Loch Ness Monster, Boogie Man, and any other childhood fantasy creature.

And if a child were to spontaneously come up with the idea of a Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, or Santa Claus, I would applaud their creative effort, and reward them. It's a one-in-a-million chance (if not an even smaller one), so until I find this child, I will continue to be as honest with every kid I meet as I am with any adult.
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 17th 2010, 11:49 PM

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Originally Posted by imapiekindaguy View Post
If asked by a child about Santa (yes, even if they were not my own) I would not mince words; I would be perfectly honest with them, and state that he is not real. The child may be upset, but, as I said, they would get over it in time; and feel respected by their parents, to boot.
Yeah no that's not cool. That's beyond no cool, in fact it's cruel. They are not your child, you have no right to ruin that for them. And their parents would be way within their rights to be SUPER pissed.


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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 12:03 AM

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Yeah no that's not cool. That's beyond no cool, in fact it's cruel. They are not your child, you have no right to ruin that for them. And their parents would be way within their rights to be SUPER pissed.
Not nearly as cruel as, say, lying to them in the first place, in my opinion.

Because, as I've stated before, I do not believe in lying. To anyone, and least of all, to children.

That's simply my opinion though, discount it as you will. But I would greatly appreciate it if I were not called cruel because I want to respect children.

And I should probably add, I don't think badly of anyone that does choose to lie to children. I simply disagree, because it is not logical to lie to them. As this is a debate forum, I just wanted to express my views on the matter.

I won't say I'm exactly sorry for what I say and/or have already said. However, I'm a little sorry that people see me as cruel for it.
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 12:09 AM

Quote:
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Not nearly as cruel as, say, lying to them in the first place, in my opinion.

Because, as I've stated before, I do not believe in lying. To anyone, and least of all, to children.

That's simply my opinion though, discount it as you will. But I would greatly appreciate it if I were not called cruel because I want to respect children.

And I should probably add, I don't think badly of anyone that does choose to lie to children. I simply disagree, because it is not logical to lie to them. As this is a debate forum, I just wanted to express my views on the matter.

I won't say I'm exactly sorry for what I say and/or have already said. However, I'm a little sorry that people see me as cruel for it.
Don't get me wrong, if you choose to not tell your kids about such things, that's your choice and it's not cruel. I personally think it makes them miss out of something that most children absolutely love and never think that their parents disrespected them for sharing it with them. I mean you miss out on so much. Like when I was 9 I won a Santa letter writing contest and got tickets to a show out of it. When I was 7 I went to the mall and asked Santa for a little sister. When I was in preschool leprachauns came and toilet papered the classrooms, so much fun!

However telling a child that does believe, ESPECIALLY if they are not your child is cruel. You have no right to take that away from a child, that's disrespectful.

And I would like to add that if you do choose to tell you child that these things aren't real, I highly suggest telling them not to go around school saying such things, it would only get them and you into trouble.


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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 12:12 AM

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Don't get me wrong, if you choose to not tell your kids about such things, that's your choice and it's not cruel. I personally think it makes them miss out of something that most children absolutely love and never think that their parents disrespected them for sharing it with them.

However telling a child that does believe, ESPECIALLY if they are not your child is cruel. You have no right to take that away from a child, that's disrespectful.
actually im the same thinking as him my mom actually started yelling at me the other days cause i told her to make sure my nephew doesnt ask me if santa is real cause ill tell him the truth.
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 12:19 AM

I can't think of a situation where I would need to lie to my kids.

Someone in the other thread used the example of if your young child asked you where babies come from and you obviously wouldn't want to tell them the truth. I wouldn't lie to them, I would just give them a watered down version of the truth- something that their minds could comprehend without being graphic. Basically, I would just take out the parts that they shouldn't hear and tell them the truth. And if they asked for more detail, I would tell them that they are probably too young to understand; which is the truth.

However, if another child's parents were lying to them about something like santa, I wouldn't ruin that for them. It's not my place to do that.
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 12:23 AM

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actually im the same thinking as him my mom actually started yelling at me the other days cause i told her to make sure my nephew doesnt ask me if santa is real cause ill tell him the truth.
If it's NOT your kid you have no RIGHTS in telling them what is or is not real. Simple as that.

As a mother if someone told my son something wasn't real and he came home upset that person would be in some shit the next day.

If you want to tell your own kids things are not real then fine. But you don't have to ruin things for other children because you think you'd be harming your child by letting them believe in something so little.


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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 12:27 AM

I still can't understand why anyone would want to deprive a child of Santa. I mean it's SANTA!! Just because you are cynical does't mean you have to pass that on to your children at a young age. There's nothing bad about Santa, nothing. I could never think of a reason as to why a parent wouldn't want their child to believe in something magical


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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 12:30 AM

I don't know. I think I would encourage them to do something "meaningful" with their lives. Singing is nice, but the chances of succeeding are slim. I would also tell them to have a backup and find multiple interests to pursue in case something goes wrong. Plus a lot of singers don't make a lot of money and usually have to work a side career that they do not love. One girl has graduated with a BA in basically drawing and she still works at the grocery store.

Honestly, I will avoid lying but I won't tell them if Santa Clause is real or not. I will ask them what they think and try to get them to come to their own conclusions.
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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 12:31 AM

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If it's NOT your kid you have no RIGHTS in telling them what is or is not real. Simple as that.

As a mother if someone told my son something wasn't real and he came home upset that person would be in some shit the next day.

If you want to tell your own kids things are not real then fine. But you don't have to ruin things for other children because you think you'd be harming your child by letting them believe in something so little.
if they ask me a question in a place i live or pay bills in i have all the rights i need.. what someone gonna do hit me ? sue me ? scream at me ?
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 12:34 AM

Telling your children that they can accomplish anything is not a lie. Just because it's hard and the odds are against them doesn't mean that they can't.

Oh, another example that someone mentioned.....telling your daughters that they are pretty no matter what they look like. Well, my daughter is going to be beautiful in my eyes and in God's eyes no matter what the world thinks, so that isn't really a lie.
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 12:35 AM

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Originally Posted by The ANTI-Troll View Post
if they ask me a question in a place i live or pay bills in i have all the rights i need.. what someone gonna do hit me ? sue me ? scream at me ?
For what purpose other than to be mean to the child. What other reason would you possibly have to tell a child that believes in something that that something isn't real?


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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 12:37 AM

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Originally Posted by Megan1 View Post
Telling your children that they can accomplish anything is not a lie. Just because it's hard and the odds are against them doesn't mean that they can't.

Oh, another example that someone mentioned.....telling your daughters that they are pretty no matter what they look like. Well, my daughter is going to be beautiful in my eyes and in God's eyes no matter what the world thinks, so that isn't really a lie.
And when they are 21 and have never been asked out and look at every picture taken of them and hate the way they look, trust me they just end up resenting their parents for never being honest with them about the way they look.


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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 12:38 AM

I think I'd resent my parents a lot more if they told me that I was ugly...?
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 12:39 AM

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Originally Posted by thebigmole View Post
For what purpose other than to be mean to the child. What other reason would you possibly have to tell a child that believes in something that that something isn't real?
lying to a child is mean in my eyes...
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 12:42 AM

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Originally Posted by thebigmole View Post
However telling a child that does believe, ESPECIALLY if they are not your child is cruel. You have no right to take that away from a child, that's disrespectful.

And I would like to add that if you do choose to tell you child that these things aren't real, I highly suggest telling them not to go around school saying such things, it would only get them and you into trouble.
I ummmm.... O.o

(I almost decided not to say this next part, but I think I'll include it anyway)

I am completely baffled at how close-minded people are. I fail to see how I am at all disrespecting this (purely hypothetical, at the moment) child, by telling them the truth?

That is such a ridiculous thing to say, frankly. If a child really, really, REALLY wanted to believe in Santa (or, as I've said, any other fantasy creature), I'm not removing that option for them. I'm simply giving them the mature, respectable, and intelligent option. They are wholly responsible for what they choose.

Also, neither my child (hypothetically speaking, again) nor I could possibly, ermm.. "get into trouble".

Nothing I say is malicious, and my child would not "spread the word" in a malicious manner.
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 12:44 AM

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Originally Posted by The ANTI-Troll View Post
lying to a child is mean in my eyes...
Really. You know what I think is mean. I think that having parents that will tell you from a very young age about every performance you've done all of the things you could have done better, while all of the other kids get flowers and are told how fabulous they were, is mean. I think having parents that tell you you have no friends because you just aren't the kind of person people want to be around is mean. And I think a dance teacher that tells a 12 year old they would never make it as a dancer because they have a fat ass is mean.

Letting your kids believe in magic isn't mean. Letting your 10 year old think that they did a wonderful job, even if it really wasn't isn't mean. It's called havinga childhood. Having a childhood means believing in silly things, and believing that you are the best singer/dancer/astronomer that ever walked the earth. Why would you want to deny someone that?


"For Ignorance killed the cat, Curiosity was framed." -Caitlin McGrath

"For this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down." -Mary Pickford

"But the music's so happy!" -Little Sally: Urinetown

"If our own policies aren't supporting equality then what are we fighting for?"- Kathy Griffin
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 12:49 AM

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Originally Posted by imapiekindaguy View Post
I ummmm.... O.o

(I almost decided not to say this next part, but I think I'll include it anyway)

I am completely baffled at how close-minded people are. I fail to see how I am at all disrespecting this (purely hypothetical, at the moment) child, by telling them the truth?

That is such a ridiculous thing to say, frankly. If a child really, really, REALLY wanted to believe in Santa (or, as I've said, any other fantasy creature), I'm not removing that option for them. I'm simply giving them the mature, respectable, and intelligent option. They are wholly responsible for what they choose.

Also, neither my child (hypothetically speaking, again) nor I could possibly, ermm.. "get into trouble".

Nothing I say is malicious, and my child would not "spread the word" in a malicious manner.
You aren't stating an option, you are telling them that the thing they believe in doesn't exist. A child doesn't give a shit about a mature, respectable, intelligent option, they are a CHILD. You tell a child that something they believe in isn't real you crush them. And sure they get over it eventually but that's not the point. It's a chid for goodness sakes. They aren't rational, they aren't mature, they hear what someone tells them and they believe it.

And it wouldn't matter if there was malicious intent or not, just saying it would be enough damage.


"For Ignorance killed the cat, Curiosity was framed." -Caitlin McGrath

"For this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down." -Mary Pickford

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"If our own policies aren't supporting equality then what are we fighting for?"- Kathy Griffin
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 12:53 AM

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Originally Posted by thebigmole View Post
Really. You know what I think is mean. I think that having parents that will tell you from a very young age about every performance you've done all of the things you could have done better, while all of the other kids get flowers and are told how fabulous they were, is mean. I think having parents that tell you you have no friends because you just aren't the kind of person people want to be around is mean. And I think a dance teacher that tells a 12 year old they would never make it as a dancer because they have a fat ass is mean.

Letting your kids believe in magic isn't mean. Letting your 10 year old think that they did a wonderful job, even if it really wasn't isn't mean. It's called havinga childhood. Having a childhood means believing in silly things, and believing that you are the best singer/dancer/astronomer that ever walked the earth. Why would you want to deny someone that?
i never said i wouldnt let them believe in magic or anything but if they ask me if its real or not there gonna get true answer.. as for that second part telling a kid all that, makes them think they dont have to work harder or put all there effort into what they enjoy cause you told them there perfect and dont need to improve..
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 01:00 AM

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Originally Posted by The ANTI-Troll View Post
as for that second part telling a kid all that, makes them think they dont have to work harder or put all there effort into what they enjoy cause you told them there perfect and dont need to improve..
Oh I realize that there's an age when of course it's only responsible to be realistic with your child about their career options. I would say that would be when the start high school (depending on the career), that's when you sit them down and say if you really want to do this you need to work harder or whatever


"For Ignorance killed the cat, Curiosity was framed." -Caitlin McGrath

"For this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down." -Mary Pickford

"But the music's so happy!" -Little Sally: Urinetown

"If our own policies aren't supporting equality then what are we fighting for?"- Kathy Griffin
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 01:02 AM

Once upon a time, I thought for sure that I'd never lie to my children. Well, now I have a son. From the outside looking in, it's easy to say, "No... Lying is horrible. I'd never lie, let alone to my own child." But there are just some things that children need not know until they're older and some things that could make their childhood that much more exciting if we'd allow them to believe. Children are very imaginative beings... We should allow them to be that way. What could it possibly hurt to let them believe that something magical happens once a year?

I can truthfully say that I hold no grudges against my parents for allowing me to believe in Santa. It was the most fun time of year... leaving a letter out for Santa, baking cookies to leave out for him... leaving some carrots for the reindeer... all of that.

With all of the bad things happening in this world, would it really hurt to let our children believe in one magical, good thing? Such as a jolly man that brings gifts to children of the world every year out of the goodness of his heart? I don't see the harm.


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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 01:11 AM

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Originally Posted by Megan1 View Post
I think I'd resent my parents a lot more if they told me that I was ugly...?
Even if it was the truth? I mean you say you never want to lie, but if your child comes home from school crying because some boy or girl called her ugly, it doesn't help tell her that that boy is just crazy or that girl is just jealous if it's not true. Don't misunderstand I certainly don't think you should tell your children they are ugly, but that crap about how everyone has inner beauty and that's all that matters is just as much as a lie as Santa. If you are going to tell the truth, tell the whole truth.


"For Ignorance killed the cat, Curiosity was framed." -Caitlin McGrath

"For this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down." -Mary Pickford

"But the music's so happy!" -Little Sally: Urinetown

"If our own policies aren't supporting equality then what are we fighting for?"- Kathy Griffin
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 01:45 AM

I am never going to lie to my children. That is wrong and how could I lie to my kids and then tell them that it is wrong to lie?

I've been lied to by my parents before and it's not fun and it really insulted me.

My child WILL be beautiful in my eyes and in God's eyes as well. It is very wrong for a parent to tell their child that he/she is ugly. In my opinion, everyone is made differently, and no one is ugly.
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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 02:44 AM

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I am never going to lie to my children. That is wrong and how could I lie to my kids and then tell them that it is wrong to lie?

I've been lied to by my parents before and it's not fun and it really insulted me.

My child WILL be beautiful in my eyes and in God's eyes as well. It is very wrong for a parent to tell their child that he/she is ugly. In my opinion, everyone is made differently, and no one is ugly.
Okay so when your child can count to 10, or learn to say the alphabet, are you not going to say "Wow you are so clever" because really being able to count to 10 is not clever at all. Would you say "Well that is clever for someone of your age, but its not really that amazing," NO! You just dont say that to a 2 year old.
Or what about if you child is a slow learner, maybe with a disability...any decent parent would say "wow you are doing so well you learned to tie your shoes" even if that child was 8 years old. Would you want to say "Oh god its about time too" How about if they struggle to ride a bike, they try but fall off, are you going to say "Its so easy why can't you get it" or will you say "Its okay you're doing so well"
Or how about when a 4 year old colours in, are you going to be honest and say "Thats really messy" or are you going to lie and say "Great colouring thats really pretty!"

Sometimes lying to your child is just better than not, hopefully one day you will see that so your child actually has some self-pride.
   
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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 02:46 AM

I'm literally laughing reading things people say, "I'll never lie to my kids" so if your 4 year old kid asked you where do babies come from you'll plain out tell them the truth? Lame.
As far as the Santa thing, when I found out the truth about it, I wasn't insulted or traumatized in any way. I actually like that fact that my parents gave me an awesome childhood by making Santa and all, I remember how awesome it was for me to wake up in the morning and seeing that Santa left me him signature and a little note saying the cookies were great, I helped my mom bake the cookies before going to bed and it was something I actually looked forward to. When I found out it was a fun moment myself and my parents had a laugh and that was it, I'm not in any way insulted to angry at my parents, I'm thankful.


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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 03:12 AM

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Okay so when your child can count to 10, or learn to say the alphabet, are you not going to say "Wow you are so clever" because really being able to count to 10 is not clever at all. Would you say "Well that is clever for someone of your age, but its not really that amazing," NO! You just dont say that to a 2 year old.
Or what about if you child is a slow learner, maybe with a disability...any decent parent would say "wow you are doing so well you learned to tie your shoes" even if that child was 8 years old. Would you want to say "Oh god its about time too" How about if they struggle to ride a bike, they try but fall off, are you going to say "Its so easy why can't you get it" or will you say "Its okay you're doing so well"
Or how about when a 4 year old colours in, are you going to be honest and say "Thats really messy" or are you going to lie and say "Great colouring thats really pretty!"

Sometimes lying to your child is just better than not, hopefully one day you will see that so your child actually has some self-pride.
When my own child can count to 10 or say the alphabet, that will be a momentous occasion, so I will definitely view it as clever.

If my child has a disability it will be an accomplishment for them to learn how to tie their shoes or ride a bike.

If my 4 year old colors, I will view it as pretty because it is my child's drawing.
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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 03:21 AM

All I can hope is when some of you get older, or actually have children, you'll realize how unrealistic you are being. Honesty is good a lot of the time, but there are just some times it isn't. I honestly can't think of a lie my parents have told me that I have felt insulted over, or disrespected over.

This past May we had to put the cat I've had since I was 6 to sleep. Now I had spent the whole first half of the year away at school, and I would always ask how my cats were doing, and my parents would always say they were fine. I came home and my cat was NOT fine, but what good would it have done me for my parents to tell me that. I couldn't be there, all I would have done was be depressed and upset. I certainly don't think my parents disrespected me by lying to me, they were looking out for me.


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Re: Lying to your children - November 18th 2010, 03:46 AM

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When my own child can count to 10 or say the alphabet, that will be a momentous occasion, so I will definitely view it as clever.

If my child has a disability it will be an accomplishment for them to learn how to tie their shoes or ride a bike.

If my 4 year old colors, I will view it as pretty because it is my child's drawing.
So you really think you can get through a lifetime without even telling one lie to your child...you try and convince yourself that, good luck.

I am sorry that your child will never experience Christmas like the rest of us who really thought there was a big jolly fellow out there. Gosh, never have the fun of putting a plate out, or putting a wee note for santa. What a real shame.
   
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