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Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 12th 2010, 04:38 PM

So, this came up. And what does everyone think about dressing a baby in the opposite genders clothing? I don't mean dressing your girl as a tom boy. I mean actually buying opposite genders clothes, perhaps trying to "make them trans."

I personally think it's just wrong.



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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 12th 2010, 04:42 PM

If it's what the kid wants to wear, then let them.

But if the parents are doing it just because they want to ''make them trans'' then that's wrong though I've never seen that happen.

I know a little boy who, when he was about five, wanted to wear dresses so they let him. He's like 10 now, and doesn't want to anymore but I think it was the right choice to just let him since it made him happy at the time.
   
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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 12th 2010, 04:54 PM

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Originally Posted by Lil'TeppyLala View Post
If it's what the kid wants to wear, then let them.

But if the parents are doing it just because they want to ''make them trans'' then that's wrong though I've never seen that happen.
I agree with this.


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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 12th 2010, 04:55 PM

I'm talking about forcing them, not if they want to



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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 12th 2010, 05:25 PM

They deserve a smack for it. I'd kill myself if I was somehow forced to wear a bra. Where did this come up?


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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 12th 2010, 05:38 PM

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Originally Posted by TranquilChaos View Post
I'm talking about forcing them, not if they want to
I have never once heard of this happening. If this was the case, the parents would obviously not be mentally stable and it would wrong.
   
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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 12th 2010, 05:46 PM

This came up talking to people online, as well as naming with opposite gender names (which isn't a huge deal since most work both ways now)



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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 12th 2010, 05:53 PM

I think this is wrong and has the potential to confuse the child horribly. If the child wishes to wear the opposite gender's clothing, then by all means, let him. But if he's being forced to because his parents somehow wish to make him trans, then that is not right. I don't believe you can make someone trans; it is simply how he is.

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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 12th 2010, 06:28 PM

If parents force their children to wear any type of clothing, that's very bad. Just let them wear what they want. You shouldn't influence your childs' life like that.



   
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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 12th 2010, 06:40 PM

I think it would be weird to let them wear the opposite gender's clothes even if they wanted to. I would never take my child out in public wearing a dress if they were a boy or boys clothes if they were a girl. Forcing them too is just weird, but I think it's strange to let them as well.
   
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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 12th 2010, 06:43 PM

Forcing a child to become trans is abuse.


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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 12th 2010, 09:12 PM

A few years ago I knew a little boy, he'd have been about 4-5 at the time, he was forced by his mother (His mother was not really considered 'stable' used illegal drugs and was often drunk, regularly tried to deceive social services and was fraudulent) to dress and act as a girl. He had almost no male clothes, and was always wearing dresses, had his hair in a girl's style (long, often plaited or with bows e.t.c) and always seemed very unhappy. He was also extremely badly behaved and was very violent.

Somehow, his mother got the message that it's not a good idea to dress your son as a daughter, as much as you'd prefer a daughter and he eventually started turning up in more masculine clothes. He was noticeably happier, and started getting along with and playing much better with the other children.

To be honest, I think that it is okay to dress babies in clothes of the opposite gender, but once they are at an age where they are developing awareness of themselves and others and starting to understand the differences in gender, it is wrong (unless they want to).


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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 12th 2010, 09:44 PM

Just gonna throw this out there... forcing a child to wear opposite gender clothing couldn't make them trans anyway, forcing a transgendered child to wear sex-appropriate clothes doesn't stop them being trans.

I think it's horrible if parents force any sort of clothing on their children, the children should be allowed to make their own decision, but perhaps a light warning from their parents about the possible implications if they pick something not sex-appropriate wouldn't hurt. ∂x
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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 13th 2010, 05:46 AM

Forcing a child is wrong. But I see nothing wrong with a girl wearing boy shirts, or a boy wearing girl shirts, if they want to. I used to wear, and still do, men's shirts. Like star wars, and spider man. I like that stuff, and forcing me to wear pink as a child would have been horrible.


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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 13th 2010, 05:50 AM

I think that is extremely wrong, although I have never heard of it happening.
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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 13th 2010, 08:12 AM

Never heard of that occuring, but if it did it would be wrong.


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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 13th 2010, 12:01 PM

Quite like to see some kind of source/article/etc...


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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 13th 2010, 01:49 PM

Quote:
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Quite like to see some kind of source/article/etc...
It isn't a real case.
A user was in the chat room talking about how she really wanted her baby to be a girl and then started joking about how if she had a boy she would just dress him in girls clothes and then someone said it could make the baby trans...
   
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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 13th 2010, 02:04 PM

Exactly. Not everything in this forum has "sources" I was just asking what people thought of this scenario.

Although, I do remember watching a video in Psych in high school about parents that raised their boy thinking he was a girl or something because when he was born something happened and the doctors accidentally chopped off his...man part (I'm not sure the entire story, and no I'm not going to find the source. You can look it up if you choose)



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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 13th 2010, 03:17 PM

i work in a preschool and the boys love to wear the dresses and they always fight over the pink dress and the girls look at them like wtf :/ its actualy kinda funny, but i dont think the parents should force thier kids to wear girls/boys clothes if they dont want to.



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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 13th 2010, 03:58 PM

If it's making them, it's wrong. But at the same time. If the kids wants to wear the opposite sex's clothes, let them. If they don't, don't make them. I think it's horrible and redicolous why anyone would want to "make" their kid trans. I also would like to say you can't "make" your kid anything, so there's no point in my opinion.
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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 13th 2010, 05:17 PM

I wonder how many people would feel its abusive or 'extremely wrong' to force their kids to wear 'sex appropriate clothes'.... on teenhelp, I assume most people would be against forcing, but I bet people would be less bothered Being forced by mother to wear a dress as a child was very distressing.

As said, you shouldn't focre your kids to do things. But to do it to babies, isn't really a big deal, in the slightest. Babies don't have a strong concept of gender, it won't confuse them either way. But even at older ages, gender isn't determined simply by the clothes you were (otherwise trans kids wouldnt exist). Dressing the kid 'wrong' will however probably lead to them resenting you, and kids at school picking on them. Even with geniune trans kids, most dont become trans adults. So I actually really dislike the use of the pharse 'make their kid trans'....

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Although, I do remember watching a video in Psych in high school about parents that raised their boy thinking he was a girl or something because when he was born something happened and the doctors accidentally chopped off his...man part (I'm not sure the entire story, and no I'm not going to find the source. You can look it up if you choose)
I think the you are thinking of is a circumcision of a young infant (not newborn), gone wrong, so the doctors felt the boy had to be raised as a girl (they cant make new penises). So he was raised as a girl, grew up, and felt that he was a boy. On the other hand, same sort of thing happened with a slightly younger infant, and he was raised a girl, and was happily a girl when she grew up.
   
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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 13th 2010, 08:29 PM

I'd never force my child to dress as the opposite gender. If they came to me and suggested that they wanted to, that would be somewhat different, though we'd still be having a discussion about why they wanted to and whatnot. However, I'd never make them feel like they were wrong for wanting to wear the opposite clothing, but I would encourage them to let me know why they desire to.

With that being said, I think it's wrong for parents to force their children to dress like anything that they don't want to, within reason, of course. If I had a 12 year old daughter who insisted that she dress like a whore, I'm sure I'd have to decline.


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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 13th 2010, 08:41 PM

If they forced them to dress like the opposite sex then yes, that's very wrong :| If they are transexual and WANT to dress that way then I don't see the problem.


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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 13th 2010, 11:47 PM

I'd also like to share someone I knew. He had three kids, and I'm still not sure if he was joking or serious, but he wanted one boy to be sensitive and poetic (and possibly gay..but yes I know you can't force it), one athletic and one something else.



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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 14th 2010, 07:51 AM

Nope, men wear men's clothes, women wear women's clothes, no matter what age or sexuality you think you are.


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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 14th 2010, 07:49 PM

There have been cases of this actually in some children where the parents did this on advise of a doctor. The basic story is the child was born a male but his genitals during delivery were damaged or were born malformed to a point where a penis could not be constructed due to the damage but it was doable to make it into female external genitalia. Dr. Money postulated a sex reassignment therapy where the parents treat the child like a female, including all female clothes, toys and such, and trashing all previous male child material. The idea was since the children are still very young and have not yet found their gender identity, it could be psychologically changed. For early child hood it sort of worked but towards adolescence, it began failing, such as attraction to other girls, which as a girl would be homosexuality but since it biologically was a boy, it was heterosexuality so there was confusion. Eventually it failed completely and Dr. Money's credibility of his theory was trashed. During this, he had parents give the child hormone replacement therapies and as they matured, gave sex reassignment surgery. Consequently, once the adolescents learned they were indeed born male, their reproductive anatomy was female-like and all had trauma from this, some of them committed suicide.

However, when a child is very young, giving them female clothing doesn't affect them as they cannot yet identify their gender identity and realize it's female clothing. Often the female clothing is bright colours and such, which interests the children irrespective of the fact it's female clothes. But this is often when the parents still give the children sex-appropriate clothing (i.e. dress a male like a male).


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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 15th 2010, 01:36 AM

I've heard of cases where the parent desperately wanted their child to be the opposite gender. So instead of being happy with they have, they try to pretend. I had a friend whose mother used to curl his hair and buy his shirts from the girl's department. He said that she would go off on tangents about how she had made all these preparations to have a girl, so I'm pretty sure that's the problem. I thought it was wrong, and I still do now. Children should be able to express themselves freely. If a boy wants to wear a dress, let him. If a girl hates dresses, don't force her. Simple as that.
   
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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 16th 2010, 03:30 PM

That's quite freakish. If they're little and want to dress up OK, let em try on some dress up type clothes.

While I believe our stereotypes of who should wear what are wrong (seriously, girls can wear pants or skirts but guys can only wear pants? Not fair!) making boys wear skirts or girls constantly wear clothing that's stereotypically male is going to confuse them. And that's not right.


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Re: Dressing small children in the "wrong" clothes? - December 18th 2010, 10:00 PM

Some guys look really cute in girls clothes But I'd dress my child sex-appropriately until they were old enough to dress themselves.


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