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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Daycare - September 6th 2011, 10:10 PM

I work at a daycare center, and I've heard so many daycare teachers over the years say how they wouldn't put their children in childcare. I wouldn't. Would you? Why/why not?


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Re: Daycare - September 6th 2011, 10:54 PM

Some people don't have a choice.

We choose not to put our child in daycare for the time being because we can afford for me to stay home. I feel right about him spending the majority of his time with his mama, and learning all he can from me. My child gets all he can from me that he would going to daycare, even the interaction with other children and understanding taking direction from authority figures from spending time with grandparents.

Soon enough my time is going to come where I have to go back to work and I will have no other choice than to put him in daycare. At the same time, I don't think he'll necessarily be losing anything by going.

Why would you not put your children in daycare? Being someone who works in a daycare facility, are there downsides you'd like to share?


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Re: Daycare - September 6th 2011, 11:08 PM

I don't know if I could trust a stranger with my baby I would much better hire someone I know (family or friends) to look after them in my house.


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Re: Daycare - September 6th 2011, 11:37 PM

In the future, I'd never put my children in daycare until they go to pre-school. I'd make it work so that I wouldn't need to. I wouldn't trust daycare facilities because I trust family more and I know that they'd be better cared for with someone I trust.
   
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Re: Daycare - September 6th 2011, 11:53 PM

I think many childcare workers say that because they know what goes on behind the scenes.

They've had experience of having to cover things up in front of parents.

They've worked in a nursery that was all about appearances.

They know how the strict routines and high volumes of children can make it feel like a boot camp, where sometimes individual children's needs/wants/desires are overlooked.

They've either seen or been a Key Worker who has too many children to care for to be able to spend any quality time with each individual child.

The list goes on.

However, it's not all bad and some daycares are better than others.

I wouldn't rule out putting my child in a daycare for a couple of sessions a week, just to get them used to socialising with other children. However, I certainly wouldn't be able to completely trust the staff, however much I wanted to, because I'd know that, at some point or another, I'd be lied to (even if it was just a small omission of truth/alteration of events).


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Re: Daycare - September 9th 2011, 01:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ball&chain View Post
Some people don't have a choice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ball&chain View Post

Why would you not put your children in daycare? Being someone who works in a daycare facility, are there downsides you'd like to share?
Personally, I feel like it is completely irresponsible to say 'we have no choice'. If you're unable to afford to raise your children the way you see fit, then you shouldn't be having children. I realize how unrealistic that is but it's true.

Because of this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairy Poppins View Post
I think many childcare workers say that because they know what goes on behind the scenes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairy Poppins View Post

They've had experience of having to cover things up in front of parents.
Pleasing parents is hard, so I know that some times parents aren't given full details because it could become a bigger issue than needed to be. Though it is done in good intentions I would not want to put my child in a situation that I do not completely trust.


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Re: Daycare - September 9th 2011, 03:00 AM

I spent a lot of time helping in a daycare since I was in 7th grade. Of course, I'd have to fully research the place I was considering as well as talk to other parents, but if I had to I would put my child in daycare. Of course, I'd rather spend time with my child myself, because that's all I've wanted in life.

It all depends on the daycare you go to.



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Re: Daycare - September 9th 2011, 03:15 AM

I wouldn't want to put my child in a daycare. So often they are packed, with very little learning or caring going on. Why pay daycare prices when you could get a babysitter (or a nanny) who would only take care of your child?

Though in general I simply would not want to be away from my small child, and also I have a very weak immune system, and sending my child into a petri-dish of germs seems like a very bad idea.
   
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Re: Daycare - September 9th 2011, 09:11 AM

[quote=Tara.;719867]
Personally, I feel like it is completely irresponsible to say 'we have no choice'. If you're unable to afford to raise your children the way you see fit, then you shouldn't be having children. I realize how unrealistic that is but it's true.

Honestly, I think that is an incredibly judgmental attitude to have. Have you considered that plenty of parents want to stay home, but due to a change in circumstances no longer have the choice? Or perhaps something has happened to the family member who was meant to look after them?
It also just seems like an odd way to view parents who send their children to daycare since they are the reason that you have a job?

Perhaps daycares are different over here, but I've done work experience in a centre, and I've seen my younger siblings and other children go through daycare. I have never seen anything happen that makes me question the safety or standard of any daycare centre. They have very strict rules about carer to child ratios and fill out forms on every single incident that occurs. I don't know what kind of "behind-the-scenes" things supposedly happen that would make it bad to send a child to daycare.

I also can't understand why people don't feel comfortable sending their children to daycare, but they are happy to send them to pre-school or school. All the same problems exist in schools; the only difference is that the kids are older.



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Re: Daycare - September 9th 2011, 12:59 PM

I really dislike the generalisations going on in this thread. Because like said above, there ARE wonderful day cares out there (don't get me wrong, I know there are also awful ones out there). And nannies/babysitters? I've heard tons of bad things about those. Haven't you ever heard all the stories about nannies abusing the children?! The bottom line to me is that you just have to research thoroughly. Find out how many kids they have, get to know the staff. Most preschools are run INSIDE day cares, so I'm wondering how that makes it any better for those of you that would put your child in preschool but not daycare. I probably will send my child to preschool, even if I don't send them to daycare because as a future preschool/kindergarten teacher I feel it would be beneficial.



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Re: Daycare - September 9th 2011, 03:40 PM

Honestly, I'm not sure if I would leave my baby with ANY stranger for that matter, whether it be with a daycare or with a babysitter. I'd trust my family, of course. But, I wouldn't put the trust in my friends to take care of my child unless they, themselves, had children and had experienced it as well.

I know there are good daycare's, and there are bad daycare's as well, however, nannies/babysitter's are just as bad. Not only can they hurt your child (a friends mom is no longer allowed to be around children for fatally shaking a baby a couple of years ago), they can also steal from you, leave your child unattended. YOU are giving them full reign of your house, and I don't think that is great either.

When I have kids, I'll entrust them with family members or friends who have children themselves. If I HAVE to go back to work, that's what I'd do. If I didn't have too, I'd wait until my kids were all of school age, before going back to work.











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Re: Daycare - September 9th 2011, 11:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShimmeringFaerie View Post
Honestly, I think that is an incredibly judgmental attitude to have. Have you considered that plenty of parents want to stay home, but due to a change in circumstances no longer have the choice? Or perhaps something has happened to the family member who was meant to look after them?
It also just seems like an odd way to view parents who send their children to daycare since they are the reason that you have a job?

Perhaps daycares are different over here, but I've done work experience in a centre, and I've seen my younger siblings and other children go through daycare. I have never seen anything happen that makes me question the safety or standard of any daycare centre. They have very strict rules about carer to child ratios and fill out forms on every single incident that occurs. I don't know what kind of "behind-the-scenes" things supposedly happen that would make it bad to send a child to daycare.

I also can't understand why people don't feel comfortable sending their children to daycare, but they are happy to send them to pre-school or school. All the same problems exist in schools; the only difference is that the kids are older.

I think it 's fine if a parent is using daycare/preschool for responsible reasons, i.e. socialization. But I don't like parents saying it's the only choice. Lots of people raise children on one income. And I have seen way to many families abuse the social services benefits. At least her in this town, lots of low income families are entitled to free childcare. But I've had way too many parents drop off their child in their pjs then still be wearing pjs when they pick up and brag about sleeping in.


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Re: Daycare - September 10th 2011, 01:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShimmeringFaerie View Post
I have never seen anything happen that makes me question the safety or standard of any daycare centre. They have very strict rules about carer to child ratios and fill out forms on every single incident that occurs. I don't know what kind of "behind-the-scenes" things supposedly happen that would make it bad to send a child to daycare.
I'm not saying that daycares aren't safe.

They are all legally-bound by adult : child ratios, child protection/safeguarding policies, health & safety regulations, etc.

Maybe "behind-the-scenes" creates the wrong image. I'm not saying that parents are given an entirely different view of what goes on. I'm just saying that parents expect Early Years care to be perfect and for staff to never to let anything bad happen to their child. As much as we try our hardest, this just isn't possible all the time.

I'll give you an example. Children around 15 months can sometimes developing a biting habit. They will bite other children either because they cannot get their own way, the other child is blocking them from getting somewhere, or sometimes for seemingly no reason at all other than to get a reaction.

Have you ever tried to explain to a overly-fussy parent that their precious angel has been bitten by another child for simply being next to them? It's hard and often leads to complaints being made to the manager about a "lack of supervision". Which is simply not the case. I once had to literally follow a biting child around the room all day every day and he still managed to get a child in the 8 hour period, because inevitably I had to turn my head at least once!

If you tell a parent that their child was bitten for no reason at all, it angers them more than if you say that the two children had a "disagreement" over a toy leading to them being bitten.

Now you may be thinking, "Why not just explain to the parent that biting is very common at this age?" Well, believe me, we have, we did and we will. We sent out information packs, we directed them to websites, we even had an EYs Advisor come in to give us advice about speaking to parents.

It made no difference. The minute a parent thought their child had been bitten for no reason (even if there was a reason it didn't always make a difference), off they went to the manager, then head office. Then the manager would get pissed at us, we'd get pissed at her and the whole nursery room would become so tence it was unbearable. So if we thought that the parent would be more understanding if we said there was a reason, we gave one.

That is an example of twisting the truth slightly, so that the staff know what happened (behind the scenes), but the parent doesn't.

That example was from the best nursery I have ever worked in.

The worst one was actually pretty bad looking back...

A child who only did half a session went home with a sopping wet nappy/diaper because the staff couldn't be bothered to change him since he would be going home soon. At the next session, when the parents questioned whether he had been changed at all whilst he was there, the staff said that he had and that he must have been drinking a lot that day. Not wanting to seem rude/distrusting by asking to see the nappy changing chart, the parent accepted this story.

So there are two examples of lies that can be told by nursery/daycare staff. One is more serious than the other, but the mere fact that they are prepared to lie means that I will never be able to fully trust them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShimmeringFaerie View Post
I also can't understand why people don't feel comfortable sending their children to daycare, but they are happy to send them to pre-school or school. All the same problems exist in schools; the only difference is that the kids are older.
Not all the same problems exist in pre-schools/schools. In fact, both of the scenarios I mentioned would never happen in a pre-school/school.

Plus, by preschool/school age, most children are able to speak, so they can tell their parents what really happened if the staff decide to twist the truth, therefore parents feel safer about leaving them.


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Last edited by FairyPoppins; September 10th 2011 at 01:49 AM. Reason: Changed a word.
   
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Re: Daycare - September 11th 2011, 09:29 AM

Ideally I'd like to look after my baby myself until it's at least two (which was the age i was when i started going to pre-school) but it all depends on the financial situation. If i can afford to be a stay-at-home mum for two years, I'd like to, but if that can't happen then I'll probably send my baby to a childminder.


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Re: Daycare - September 14th 2011, 02:31 AM

[size="2"]
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I think it 's fine if a parent is using daycare/preschool for responsible reasons, i.e. socialization. But I don't like parents saying it's the only choice. Lots of people raise children on one income. And I have seen way to many families abuse the social services benefits. At least her in this town, lots of low income families are entitled to free childcare. But I've had way too many parents drop off their child in their pjs then still be wearing pjs when they pick up and brag about sleeping in.



Sometimes, though, it is the only choice. I went to daycare while my mum was working or when she was having chemo. She was single and my dad wasn't really in the picture, and she didn't have any close friends who could watch us. I'd probably put my kids in daycare if I really needed to and I was all alone. When you don't have much money and you're just scraping by (or if you're sick, like in the case of my mum), you can't really get picky about your child's 'needs' and things like that. Kids are a hell of a lot more resilient than people give them credit for. Babying them by saying 'Well, I don't want my child in daycare because they might get bullied and their needs might be overlooked!' is just sorta silly. They're going to encounter the same stuff in daycare that they're going to for the rest of their lives.
   
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Re: Daycare - September 16th 2011, 03:52 AM

Is sending your kid to daycare as good as having a family member watch them or watching them yourself? No, of course not. Is sending a child to day care going to harm them? Probably not. I have a 7.5 month old son and I feel he is too young to be put in daycare. I mean, I'm sure he would get used to it and be fine, but for now I feel better with him at home with me. I am lucky that my parents are willing to watch him while I go to class (part time). Otherwise, I probably would have postponed my education. I'm not sure when I'll feel comfortable with sending him to daycare, but probably when he's around 1.5 or 2.
   
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Re: Daycare - September 16th 2011, 07:27 AM

I would if I honestly had no one else I could trust to look after them and was desperate.


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Re: Daycare - September 16th 2011, 07:17 PM

Quote:
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Personally, I feel like it is completely irresponsible to say 'we have no choice'. If you're unable to afford to raise your children the way you see fit, then you shouldn't be having children. I realize how unrealistic that is but it's true.
Well, I think my child should go to Harvard, and he should live with any material item he wants. Ever.

It doesn't work like that.

Anyhow, how about this stipulation, a single mother who had to leave her hometown because of a boyfriend who posed a threat to her and her children, and therefore has no family in the new town, and has to work full time at a minimum wage job just to try to keep up with her growing debt.

This isn't made up, my family actually knew a woman who was in that exact situation. Did she have a choice? Should she have put her kids up for adoption the moment trouble arose? Would they be better living off of welfare cheques and waiting for the debt collectors to take their home?

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Re: Daycare - September 16th 2011, 09:21 PM

[quote=Tara.;719867]
Personally, I feel like it is completely irresponsible to say 'we have no choice'. If you're unable to afford to raise your children the way you see fit, then you shouldn't be having children. I realize how unrealistic that is but it's true.

Personally I think that is a very rude and condescending thing to say. Peoples situations change. Shit happens. Sometimes daycare is the only option.

My mother found herself divorced, raising 2 kids, working full time and going to school part time. She had 2 choices put us in daycare or put us up for adoption. With no competant relatives and my father being no help, she chose daycare. She needed to do what was best for her children, of course she would have loved to stay home with us full time, but it wasnt a realistic option. She could have stayed home with us full time but she wanted to keep a roof over our heads and food in our tummys, she could have gone on welfare but she thinks thats for people who really need it. I'm not saying I havent had a couple of bad situations happen with day care, but I've also had plenty of good times. It is just about choosing the right day care/babysitter for your children.

My mother didn't love us any less by putting us in daycare, and when she got to a point that she could stay home with us, drive us to school be there when we got home, without making us homeless, she did. You can't really judge someone for putting their kids in daycare, when you don't have children yourself. you dont really understand what its like to have a situation like that, where you honestly don't really have a choice. and to judge someone, especially not knowing their situation, is quite frankly rude and ignorant.

Now obviously they are some pretty sketchy day cares out there but there are also really good ones, if you take the time to research and find a good one, it doesnt have to be a bad experience for you or your children. from being in day care most of my life, I have grown to appreciate my mother and the time we spend together alot more than I used too.

Obviously what you dod with your children, is your business. But its not really fair to judge someone else, especially based on just putting their children in day care. It doesnt make them any less of a parent, they dont love their children any less. And sometimes day care can be a great experiencef for children, it can teach your children stuff that they wouldnt learn anywhere else.
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Re: Daycare - September 18th 2011, 04:08 AM

No. I would not put my child in a daycare.

I worked in a home daycare a few years ago and lasted THREE days. The people working treated this kids in such a horrible way that it traumatized me. With that said, the family I nanny for has put their boys in daycare again because I'm in college full time now and they love both of the boys schools. She had tried one and the 4yo came home with a fever and she never got a call about it. They also rarely changed e 2yos diaper. It's a matter of finding one that works for you.

I will do everything in my power go be able to stay home with my kids, and if not, my mom has said she will watch them. (God-willing.. If she is in good health and able to).
For some families, both parents NEED to work. Some parents cannot handle being with their kids all the time and need adult interaction that they get at work. It makes them better parents.

I find nothing wrong with daycares. No, I won't send my children, and yes, we hear crazy scary stories, but the news and media will always highlight that. The good stories are never heard. There are good ones out there. As a parent you just need to search for the right one for your family and trust your intuition.


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Re: Daycare - September 19th 2011, 05:58 PM

I want to be the main care giver, teacher, and role model in my children's lives, so I wouldn't send them to day care if I didn't have to. I want to take care of them and homeschool them myself. However, I don't want them to become too attached to me to the point where they are anti-social or afraid to be with anyone else, so I do plan on sometimes leaving them with friends who have children and children's church groups while they are babies and toddlers. Not every day, but enough that they will be social and used to being with other people. I will still be the main person taking care of them and teaching them.

If it ever came to a point where I absolutely had to go to work outside of the house, I would probably try to get a nanny or babysitter to come to us first, just because I don't like some things that go on at schools and day cares (even good ones). That is, as long as my children were getting enough socialization without day care.
   
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Re: Daycare - September 19th 2011, 06:30 PM

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Originally Posted by Maeve View Post
Though in general I simply would not want to be away from my small child, and also I have a very weak immune system, and sending my child into a petri-dish of germs seems like a very bad idea.
I just want to add here, lack of exposure to germs is a huge factor in weak immune systems and getting sick more later in life. If your body isn't exposed to them, how will it be able to fight them?


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Daivia Offline
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Re: Daycare - September 20th 2011, 02:00 AM

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Originally Posted by Gymnophoria View Post


I just want to add here, lack of exposure to germs is a huge factor in weak immune systems and getting sick more later in life. If your body isn't exposed to them, how will it be able to fight them?
Because, I am an adult and it would be a little too late for myself by the time I have children, and if I am to be my child's primary caregiver I just don't want it in my house at a time when toddlers have no sense of hygiene.

And fyi, I was put in daycare when I was a child and continued in daycare until I graduated to preschool and my own immune system is still very weak.
   
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