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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Sex - November 22nd 2011, 03:28 PM

So this girl I'm subscribed to on youtube just made a vlog on relationships in high school and sex. She basically said you shouldn't have sex until you're in a relationship with someone you love. This is a common viewpoint. What do you think?

I personally think sex means different things to different people. For some it's purely a physical act, for others it's an act of love/passion and others see it as sacred. For me it's an act of love and a physical act. I could have sex purely out of love just fine and I could have sex purely for physical reasons just fine.

I wouldn't go out sleeping with random men because I would find it... a bit icky. But if YOU want to sleep around purely for physical pleasure then be my guest. As long as people use protection and don't hurt other people in the process I don't see the problem. For some reason if a girl does this she will be considered a whore but if a guy does this it would be fine. I'm not a feminist by all means but I don't like this double standard. It's YOUR body and you can do what you want. I'm not going to judge you. I'm 20 years old and if I wanted to have sex then I shouldn't be judged. if there's an underlying reason for why you sleep around (like self-loathing and you want to be treated like a "whore", like Kat of Eastenders) then and only then I think there's a problem.

Eh. That's my thoughts anyway I just wanted to get them out.


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Re: Sex - November 22nd 2011, 03:31 PM

I dont care, i just want to get laid. lol
   
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Re: Sex - November 22nd 2011, 03:56 PM

For me, sex is an act out of love. I always tell people I've helped in 'real life' and on TH, that it's best to wait until you're with someone to have sex. I always mention that it's completely their decision, since I can't decide this for them. Sex is a HUGE thing to some people, and for others, it's not such a big deal. However, I waited until I was in a relationship with someone, and I liked having that with them. I only had one 'one night stand' with the person who is now my current boyfriend, so I technically don't count that anymore :P But, for me, I couldn't have sex purely based on physical attraction, or with random people. It's just not me, who I am or who I wanted to be. But, you're right when you say that sex means different things to different people. This is what it means to me!











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Re: Sex - November 22nd 2011, 04:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zelophobia View Post
For me, sex is an act out of love. I always tell people I've helped in 'real life' and on TH, that it's best to wait until you're with someone to have sex. I always mention that it's completely their decision, since I can't decide this for them. Sex is a HUGE thing to some people, and for others, it's not such a big deal. However, I waited until I was in a relationship with someone, and I liked having that with them. I only had one 'one night stand' with the person who is now my current boyfriend, so I technically don't count that anymore :P But, for me, I couldn't have sex purely based on physical attraction, or with random people. It's just not me, who I am or who I wanted to be. But, you're right when you say that sex means different things to different people. This is what it means to me!
Why do it for those reasons?
   
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Re: Sex - November 22nd 2011, 04:32 PM

I think people just need to relax. Some people are fine with waiting for a relationship, some are fine waiting longer until marriage, and some have sex very casually. What difference does it make to the individual? Do what you like. If you wanna wait for marriage, then I'm not gonna preach at you. If you wanna have sex casually, I'm not gonna call you a slut. It shouldn't matter, there shouldn't be a definition, you should just stick to your own morals and never compromise them, when it comes to sex or anything else, for anyone.




   
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Re: Sex - November 22nd 2011, 04:48 PM

My boyfriend of two and a half years told me sex to him was just a biological, physical desire. I think I died a bit inside when I realized sex was meaningless to him after all this time.

You can have sex with as many people as you want. But as soon as you start having meaningless sex with someone that put meaning to it, that's when you cross the line



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Re: Sex - November 22nd 2011, 05:04 PM

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Originally Posted by Mudkip View Post
For some reason if a girl does this she will be considered a whore but if a guy does this it would be fine. I'm not a feminist by all means but I don't like this double standard.
Because it has to do with how someone gets laid. Males are the ones who have to 'chase' females, that's just the way our species is. A guy who sleeps around shows he is pretty skilled with girls. This 'double standard' will always exist as long as women have 400 eggs compared to a mans nearly infinite number of sperm.
   
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Re: Sex - November 22nd 2011, 06:01 PM

I have sex as an act of love. I don't think I could ever have sex just for the physical desire. I mean, I know a ton of people decide to do this and it doesn't bother me as long as they're careful and don't gloat about it.. but I respect myself too much to have sex with random people just to feel 'pleasured'.
   
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Re: Sex - November 22nd 2011, 06:06 PM

Have sex whenever you want to, with whoever you want to [within law and reason of course]. It is your life to dictate, not anyone else's. I will however say that rarely have I had a good one night stand. Sex is better in a relationship because you trust each other, can build on it, and try new things
As for girls being seen as whores if they do sleep around, I don't agree. There will always be a double standard because there will always be people to judge you based on your actions. If you know you're not, then who cares what everyone else thinks.


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Re: Sex - November 22nd 2011, 06:26 PM

I don't care if people sleep around with tons of other people for the hell of it. But personally, I have & will only have sex out of love, or at least what I consider love.
   
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Re: Sex - November 22nd 2011, 07:36 PM

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Originally Posted by Mudkip View Post
So this girl I'm subscribed to on youtube just made a vlog on relationships in high school and sex. She basically said you shouldn't have sex until you're in a relationship with someone you love. This is a common viewpoint. What do you think?


The problem with that ideal is that many people have sex because they think they "love" them, and then something may happen and they'll turn around and say that they "didn't really love them in the first place." When people have sex with someone and they later regret intercourse, is it safe to say that they didn't really love them even if they thought they did? With high schoolers, a lot of people (when I say "people," I mean both men and women) have raging hormones. I believe that these raging hormones skew their conception of love out of desperation. The problem with waiting to find someone you love is that your biological instincts to procreate kick in when you find someone who establishes that they would be willing to get intimate with you at some point. Naturally, many pre-teens and teenagers are horny and therefore anyone can toss "love" around like it's nothing serious just to justify having sex with someone. You shouldn't wait to have sex with someone because you think you love someone; you should wait to have sex with someone that you are willing to accept as part of your sexual history. If you accept sex regardless of whether you love them or not, you won't be as disappointed unless something were to happen. You could just say...he/she wasn't what I thought to be, but we've had sex and I'm moving on instead of "I had sex because I thought I loved him." If you claim to love someone and then you claim that you don't love someone, you're basically calling yourself ignorant because you don't know the difference. Keep that shit simple...I wouldn't have sex because I think I love the person, I want to have sex with someone because I get damn horny sometimes and I would just feel that the time is right. If something were to happen later on, I'd regret the relationship but I would know that, in the end, the sex was what I wanted and therefore am satisfied.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mudkip View Post
I personally think sex means different things to different people. For some it's purely a physical act, for others it's an act of love/passion and others see it as sacred. For me it's an act of love and a physical act. I could have sex purely out of love just fine and I could have sex purely for physical reasons just fine.


Sex means everything; it's just that some people capitalize on one reason more than another. I have sex because I love my girlfriend, but I could love my girlfriend without having sex. It's also physical because that shit feels good and it satisfies our biological drives to procreate. I do believe that this "sacred" word is also part of passion. I consider sex to be sacred because, well, that shit is awkward to do with someone but because a woman is willing to do that with me, the bond we have is sacred and therefore more passionate because I know that she could easily find a more physically attractive man than I and fuck the shit out of, but she chooses me because we love each other. Everything goes hand in hand. Some people don't have sex out of love; at least, love for the person. Some people just love their sexual partner's looks like some women compliment each other's hair and say "omg...I LOVE your hair."

As for society's role on women and sex, it's getting better over time. Women aren't completely accepted as being promiscuous, but at least a lot of women now are becoming more independent by making their own decisions and making money in the sex business where they know that women are high in demand. It's progress in the right direction.
   
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Re: Sex - November 22nd 2011, 07:39 PM

Its completely emotional act to me, you cant really get more intimate with a person than that, I think I would hate a one night stand, even though when Im with other guys I do the typical guy thing of bragging about sex.


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Re: Sex - November 22nd 2011, 07:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mudkip View Post
So this girl I'm subscribed to on youtube just made a vlog on relationships in high school and sex. She basically said you shouldn't have sex until you're in a relationship with someone you love. This is a common viewpoint. What do you think?

I personally think sex means different things to different people. For some it's purely a physical act, for others it's an act of love/passion and others see it as sacred. For me it's an act of love and a physical act. I could have sex purely out of love just fine and I could have sex purely for physical reasons just fine.

I wouldn't go out sleeping with random men because I would find it... a bit icky. But if YOU want to sleep around purely for physical pleasure then be my guest. As long as people use protection and don't hurt other people in the process I don't see the problem. For some reason if a girl does this she will be considered a whore but if a guy does this it would be fine. I'm not a feminist by all means but I don't like this double standard. It's YOUR body and you can do what you want. I'm not going to judge you. I'm 20 years old and if I wanted to have sex then I shouldn't be judged. if there's an underlying reason for why you sleep around (like self-loathing and you want to be treated like a "whore", like Kat of Eastenders) then and only then I think there's a problem.

Eh. That's my thoughts anyway I just wanted to get them out.
Would you mind posting the link to the Youtube video.


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Re: Sex - November 22nd 2011, 08:05 PM

I think for a lot of people, sex is something that can be enjoyed with or without a relationship. However, many people also feel that sex is more enjoyable if you're in love with the person you're having sex with.

Personally, I'm into sex for the physical part more than the emotional. If I want an emotional connection, I usually stick with cuddling and whatnot.


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Re: Sex - November 22nd 2011, 08:08 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzscj...&feature=feedu

I mostly watch her make-up tutorials but she makes more vlogs recently.

Grrr, I wish Safari would stop changing" vlogs" to "blogs"


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Re: Sex - November 22nd 2011, 08:14 PM

^This. For me, sex means just the physical contact. Even though this is coming from a virgin.
   
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Re: Sex - November 22nd 2011, 09:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Goblins Blade View Post
Why do it for those reasons?
I do it for those reasons because it's what I believe in. I don't judge people if they have sex casually. It's not my place to judge. It's their body, let them do what they want with it. But, why question ONLY my motives? There were other people who posted their opinions, but I was the only one singled out. I have sex out of love because I prefer to be in love with that person before I go throwing sex into the equation. Sex can sometimes make or break a relationship, and I feel more secure having sex with someone that I love, and that loves me back. Not someone who just wants sex, and nothing more. Answer your question?











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Re: Sex - November 22nd 2011, 09:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zelophobia View Post


I do it for those reasons because it's what I believe in. I don't judge people if they have sex casually. It's not my place to judge. It's their body, let them do what they want with it. But, why question ONLY my motives? There were other people who posted their opinions, but I was the only one singled out. I have sex out of love because I prefer to be in love with that person before I go throwing sex into the equation. Sex can sometimes make or break a relationship, and I feel more secure having sex with someone that I love, and that loves me back. Not someone who just wants sex, and nothing more. Answer your question?
Sorry if it came across like i was doing that, but it was not my intention. Anyway, im one of those people that see the process of sex as one of those things you do for fun.
   
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Re: Sex - November 23rd 2011, 12:42 AM

For me sex is for MARRIAGE or at the VERYYY least a VERY committed relationship only.




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Re: Sex - November 23rd 2011, 12:48 AM

For me, sex would more than likely just be for someone I love or am in a committed relationship to. I'm not saying that I wouldn't ever do friends with benefits, but I'd have to really like the person and be convinced they're not just gonna leave me after. But I wouldn't do it with random people.


   
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Re: Sex - November 23rd 2011, 12:57 AM

Me, personally, sex is something special to me. And, I would want to be married, and share it with the person I'm married to. If I'm doing it for physical reasons, then why not just masturbate? lol


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Re: Sex - November 23rd 2011, 02:46 AM

I think waiting til marriage is a great decision, but not the decision for me. I chose to have sex as a teenager, don't regret it at all.


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Re: Sex - November 23rd 2011, 02:57 AM

There's SO MUCH I could say on this video. However, I will say two things.

1. I'm a teenager, I've had sex, I don't regret it, and I excel in school.

2. She talked about how younger people don't know much about sex ed, yet at the end of the video, she said that having multiple partners causes you to be incredibly loose. She obviously didn't take her sex ed class.
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Re: Sex - November 23rd 2011, 02:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Coffee❤ View Post
I think waiting til marriage is a great decision, but not the decision for me. I chose to have sex as a teenager, don't regret it at all.
Same goes for me. I've never really seen the big deal about it to be honest, I've always been mature about it I guess But anyways I did it because I wanted to, and to me that's all that matters.


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Re: Sex - November 23rd 2011, 03:04 AM

I'm personally against waiting until marriage. I think that sex is a way too important part of a relationship to wait until you have spent that much money to get married and are committed to each other on that level. I know two women who have divorced because of sexual reasons. No matter how much you may love someone you might just not fit in that capacity and I think that's an important thing to know before you marry them.

I plan on being in a committed relationship, and hopefully in love. But I don't judge people who just do it for physical pleasure, to each his own.


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Re: Sex - November 23rd 2011, 07:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mudkip View Post
So this girl I'm subscribed to on youtube just made a vlog on relationships in high school and sex. She basically said you shouldn't have sex until you're in a relationship with someone you love. This is a common viewpoint. What do you think?

I personally think sex means different things to different people. For some it's purely a physical act, for others it's an act of love/passion and others see it as sacred. For me it's an act of love and a physical act. I could have sex purely out of love just fine and I could have sex purely for physical reasons just fine.

I wouldn't go out sleeping with random men because I would find it... a bit icky. But if YOU want to sleep around purely for physical pleasure then be my guest. As long as people use protection and don't hurt other people in the process I don't see the problem. For some reason if a girl does this she will be considered a whore but if a guy does this it would be fine. I'm not a feminist by all means but I don't like this double standard. It's YOUR body and you can do what you want. I'm not going to judge you. I'm 20 years old and if I wanted to have sex then I shouldn't be judged. if there's an underlying reason for why you sleep around (like self-loathing and you want to be treated like a "whore", like Kat of Eastenders) then and only then I think there's a problem.

Eh. That's my thoughts anyway I just wanted to get them out.
You basically summed up everything I feel about sex, so I am not going to add anything but "ditto."



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Re: Sex - November 23rd 2011, 02:55 PM

To answer the question of why girls are sluts and men are heroes, I'd like to start off with there is a term called the "manwhore" most men don't see them, but girls most certainly do. I think how the general populace of "sluts" dress kind of plays a part in it. Girls who don't show off their body all the time, generally do not like seeing another girls ass because her shorts are too short, or her entire breast because her tshirt just barely covers it up. Some guys don't even like seeing this. Yet the sluttiest that is "cool" for guys to dress is to wear baggy jeans and no shirt. Our generation of men don't really wear speedos is what I'm saying

The other stereotype of a slut is someone who sleeps with every man she sees, probably has a few stds, an abortion here or there, ext. Is it always true? No of course not. But stereotypes are there none the less. Personally, I'd rather not -certain- people sleep around. Me, I have a problem when my boyfriend hangs out with specific girls because even he tells me that they sleep around, and I've seen the kind of clothes they wear. I trust my boyfriend and all, but he does have a history and I've never really gotten over that.

If it's some stranger on the street wearing something slutty, I probably won't care because it's not my life. I think there's also a difference between a slut and someone who enjoys sex for the physical contact. Myself? I had one relationship like that, where I had sex with him purely for fun, and I've never forgiven myself.



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Re: Sex - November 23rd 2011, 08:16 PM

I think it is different to each person which is totally and completely fine. I believe that sex should be something that is experienced with someone you love. However, that might be due to the things that happened in my past. So, I honestly try really hard not to judge people who have sex just fir the fun it because it is not my place to judge and in all reality it is their body.


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Re: Sex - November 24th 2011, 10:07 AM

Well fuck that yo.
People are people. They have a desire to have sexual intercourse with others. It's hardwired into everyone, although the drive certainli does vary depending on who you are. You don't actualy get anything from repressing it, and people only fel guilty because of their own convictions and perceptions regarding the concept after they've done it.
Personally, I don't have an incredibly intense sex drive at all. I don't generally concern myself with it, despite my level of development, which is high for someone of my age. Really, I'm pretty nonchalant toward the concept. I will or I won't when given the opportunity. Generally, I won't or don't paricularly care.


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