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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 16th 2012, 09:44 PM

http://news.yahoo.com/why-gay-parent...131902676.html

Okay, gay rights is a big thing right now. There's always controversy about it, especially when it comes to gay couples raising children. I am a gay rights activist, and I support the right of gays to marry and raise children. That being said, however...

To say that gay parents make better parents isn't right. Being gay isn't what makes you a decent parent, it's your love for your child and the desire for that child's happiness that makes you a decent parent.

That's my opinion. As for you guys, what are your opinions on the article, and of gays raising children?


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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 16th 2012, 09:48 PM

I agree with you. I am a lesbian and do want children when I am older.

I can't really understand how/why someones sexuality makes them a better parent. It doesn't make any sense at all.


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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 16th 2012, 10:20 PM

sometimes you might see a homosexual couple raising a child better than a heterosexual couple. But who's to say you don't ever see it the opposite way?
Not knowing any homosexual couples, I can't say I've "seen proof". I agree with Haru - it's not sexuality, it's the love for your child and the way you treat them.
   
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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 16th 2012, 10:56 PM

I think it is just about how the parents raise the children. Not if they're gay or not. It may also have to deal with the area that the children grow up in.


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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 16th 2012, 10:58 PM

I think it's more because gays can't accidentally end up with a child they don't want, unlike heterosexual couples.
   
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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 16th 2012, 11:10 PM

Like Keady, I'm going to guess its because if you are gay or lesbian you can't really accidentally have a kid. You have to put time, effort and money into adoption or surrogacy. Being gay doesn't make you a better parent, but if you are a gay couple and you have a child together you probably really really wanted it and are in a good position to raise one.

EDIT: Sorry, should have read the article first considering what I said was one of the article's main points.

Of course there are going to be good gay parents and bad ones, good straight parents and bad ones. I don't find it hard to believe that, on average, gay parents make better ones though.


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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 16th 2012, 11:24 PM

The thing I must say, every person I know that grew up with gay parents turned out really well. Now, I'm not really sure how much of a link they can really put, considering that the majority of people are raised in heterosexual or single parent households. I think the having two parents has to do with it, you know, growing up with a couple raising you rahter than a single parent. However, I'm not sure if it can be specifically better. This at least proves that for sure, they are just as good, IF NOT BETTER, than a heterosexual couple. Haha skeptics

I also must add one thing. Think about this, gay parents HAVE to choose to have a child. It's much harder to have an accident being a gay parent. And the majority of good heterosexual parents chose to have a child, not just had an accident. So that may stem from it to, you know? They HAD to want the child, they HAD to want to be a good parent.


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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 16th 2012, 11:44 PM

I agree that being homosexual doesn't necessarily mean you're a better parent, what matters is the love and care given to the child, but it is very true that the fact that a gay couple actually WANTS a child is a huge factor. There are fewer accidents with a gay couple, of course, so that has a lot to do with it.


   
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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 17th 2012, 12:15 AM

Probably, Homosexual couples usually work pretty hard to adopt a kid. But of course with less homosexual couples with children than heterosexual it's easy to say there would be less abuse.
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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 17th 2012, 12:28 AM

If gay couples are adopting children, wouldn't that imply that they have to pass through some kind of screening? Add that to the near-impossibility of unplanned children, and it shouldn't be a surprise that gay couples make better parents.



   
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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 17th 2012, 12:46 AM

I think that gay parents are better parents because:
a) They have to fight for their right to be married. They can't just get married at age 16, pop out a kid and then divorce. I think this makes their relationship more stable and thus better for children.
b) They are extremely unlikely to get pregnant accidentally. There are few "accident" babies that might be resented for being born an inconvenient time.
c) Homosexual parents are unlikely to guilt, shame, or throw their child out for being homosexual.
   
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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 17th 2012, 07:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Koharuchan View Post
http://news.yahoo.com/why-gay-parent...131902676.html

Okay, gay rights is a big thing right now. There's always controversy about it, especially when it comes to gay couples raising children. I am a gay rights activist, and I support the right of gays to marry and raise children. That being said, however...

To say that gay parents make better parents isn't right. Being gay isn't what makes you a decent parent, it's your love for your child and the desire for that child's happiness that makes you a decent parent.

That's my opinion. As for you guys, what are your opinions on the article, and of gays raising children?
The article doesn't say gay couples make better parents because of their sexuality. It says that gay couples have to fight damn hard for their right to even adopt a child and when you fight that hard, you are going to care about that child and appreciate that child much more. And that makes sense. There's nothing "wrong" about what the article is saying; they are just drawing on the facts and the evidence.



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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 17th 2012, 01:31 PM

If I had to chose between if I think people see me as "pro-gay" or "anti-gay"... I'd guess people would probably say I'm slightly more "anti-gay". That's only because I get frustrated sometimes when I have to hear or see or even have all this gay pride stuff rubbed in my face.

Nonetheless, I never had anything really against the actual orientation, and honestly speaking... I've suspected before that gay couples just might, make better parents.

But let's clarify and break it down... they wouldn't be better parents because they're gay. That's stupid. It's a bit like saying pears are better because they're pear shaped, duh... just duh. Being gay... like the article explains, means that it's unlikely that they'l "accidentally" have a kid, hence more commitment. That was explained very well. But also, gays are more likely to see things objectively. Why? Because gays have been treated more like outsiders than most other people, and so they're more understanding of differences between people, and more tolerant of them. Of course, it doesn't apply to everyone, only on average... but that's the whole point of the article. It even says it in the first paragraph I think.

Don't bash the article for saying that gay parents are better full stop, because that's not what it says.


Over time, as gays get more accepted into society everywhere, they will probably even out with the rest of us. The only thing that wouldn't change is them being that little bit more committed because it's near impossible for them to have kids by accident.


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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 17th 2012, 05:09 PM

You gotta look at this statistically... This isn't saying that heterosexual couples make bad parents, just that it's more likely for there to be a bad heterosexual couple than a homosexual one. For one, there are more heterosexual couples to mess up the statistics than there are homosexual couples. Secondly, as many have said, homosexual couples have to go through numerous hoops to get a kid via adoption or some sort of surrogacy. They REALLY have to want that kid, so of course they'd treat it right. It's very rare to see someone spend so much money, time, and tests on a kid they're just going to abuse. As said, many Heterosexual couples just have fun in bed for a few hours


What would be really interesting, is if they did it solely on adopted kids, are adopted kids raised better by homosexual parents, than by heterosexual parents? I'd say it'd probably run about 50/50.
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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 17th 2012, 05:19 PM

lol one of the comments under that article made me laugh. It went something like this (all caps):

"OUR PLANET IS OVERPOPULATED WITH PEOPLE. GAYS HAVE BEEN SENT AS PROPHETS BY GOD TO REVERSE OUR DAMAGE AND OVERCROWDING OF OUR PLANET AND LEAD THE WAY FOR THE HUMAN RACE TO A SUSTAINABLE FUTURE... PAVINg the way for jeesus... etc. etc. (some religious banter)

I went back now and couldn't find it.

So gays have been sent here by God. Nice. Throw that in the face of some homophobic Christian.


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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 17th 2012, 05:39 PM

In honesty, I do think gays can be better parents just because they are open minded to a lot of things that heterosexual couples wouldn't be, so the child would be more accepted, but it really all depends on the parenting, not the sexual orientation.


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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 17th 2012, 09:54 PM

I do see what they're saying.

1. A lot of gay people have gone through abuse for being gay, so in turn, it's possible that they could be more compassionate; especially compared to parents from quite older generations. (I'm not saying that ALL people from older generations aren't compassionate.)
2. Gay people can't accidentally have kids. They have to fight for them and go through long processes to get them.
3. Since there is a lot of opposition to gay parenting, they probably feel a great amount of pressure to be very accepting, loving, and caring to their children to prove that gay couples can successfully be parents.
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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 17th 2012, 10:37 PM

I think it's probably down to the fact that, as has been pointed out, a homosexual couple has to go through a more prolonged and stringent effort to have a child, which implies two things. One, they really want a child in the first place and two, the underlying relationship is strong enough to cope with whatever said child can throw at them. I would say the latter is the key part. It's always debatable how much a role sexuality plays in parenthood, primarily as it's a highly subjective field to try and research, and so I'd say that takes precedence in determining how well the couple will cope as parents.


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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 17th 2012, 11:55 PM

Probably because if a homosexual couple have a kid it's 100% of the time by choice, whereas a lot of the time heterosexual couples don't really plan it. It's not because they're homosexual, to say that is actually insulting, it's because they were given a much nicer set of options.
   
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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 19th 2012, 07:24 AM

So everyone has commented that sexuality has nothing to do with how well people will raise kids. Some people even got annoyed by the article... even though the article said that gays make better parents because they have to work harder to adopt, be screened, etc.

The article is saying the same thing that everyone has replied saying, it is not saying that by virtue of being gay you have some kind of 'good parent gene'.

But I'm pretty sure that's the whole point of the article, that sexuality has nothing to do with how well or badly kids will be raised. Look at it from the other way around. It starts off with a quote from the pope himself about how children need heterosexual homes. Which is a common argument on the right (children need a mother and father, a same sex couple can't raise a child because they will be abused by wider society, the children will be confused about gender roles etc etc).

To me this article isn't saying "Gays = good parents", it's saying that loving and dedicated people who choose to be parents are generally better at it than those who aren't/don't, which really is a no brainer. Which means that just because you're gay or straight your children aren't going to be screwed up. Your kids don't care about your sexuality, they care how they are raised and loved and cared for.

This article is more about disproving the idea that kids need a mummy and daddy to be well adjusted, than proving that homosexuals are superior parents.


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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 20th 2012, 03:20 AM

Like sex columnist Dan Savage says "We (Gay and Lesbian couples) can't get drunk and adopt one night, wake up and go "Honey, what's all this fucking paperwork!!", so every child is a wanted and planned child."

It may be because we are homosexual we raise better kids, as in we've dealt with discrimination and had a bunch of other shit thrown at us, so we're often more liberal and understanding about a lot of issues, but homosexuality does not grant the trait of awesome parent in and of itself. It's because of what we've been through that does.


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Re: According to article, "Gays are better parents." - January 20th 2012, 04:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShimmeringFaerie View Post


The article doesn't say gay couples make better parents because of their sexuality. It says that gay couples have to fight damn hard for their right to even adopt a child and when you fight that hard, you are going to care about that child and appreciate that child much more. And that makes sense. There's nothing "wrong" about what the article is saying; they are just drawing on the facts and the evidence.
That's what I wanted to say. The article never says gays make better parents. It compared the ultra-conservative views of a politician and the church to what studies have found in reality. Like everybody above said, it's not the sexuality that may make being raised by a gay couple better, it's ironically, society's hoops, and obstacles that are put in front of gay couples that seem to make for dedicated devoted parents.

I promised not to discuss the specifics of my two uncles. But I can say they have a domestic partnership, two surrogate children and have the means to ignore all the bullshit about the subject of whether gay parenting is a good or bad thing.

The part of the article that hit home to me is the part about gays adopting more hard to place, minority, and special kids. I'm discussing with my Dad the possibilty of adopting my best friend who's 14 and been in foster care since 6 years old. My dad's not gay, but he is a single parent and has the resources to provide an exceptional home. My point is if it wasn't for gays and lesbians, and people like my dad, my "brother" who is an A student at the same school I go to, a great kid, a great athlete, but comes from a real bad and tough background, would never be adopted. Never.


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