Triggering (ED): Pushy and Proud: Crazy Diet Mums

[blumemusik♫]

Has anyone else seen this television show?

I was just chilling watching daytime television today, and came across this one. I had to turn it off after 15 minutes because it was triggering me a bit, but basically this is what I can remember:

One girl was aged about 14. Her mum (who is overweight but relies on diet pills to lose it) makes the girl weigh herself 3 times a day under supervision because she's not trusted to tell her mum the correct weight. She has to go to boxing 4 times a week to stay fit. They had a pool built in the back garden which she has to exercise in. She's allowed toast for breakfast and salad for lunch (not sure about dinner) and if she wants a treat, she has to work for it. For example, a chocolate bar = 50 sit ups, a biscuit = 30 push ups. She's of a perfectly healthy weight (if not on the skinny side) and her mum keeps pushing her to lose weight, telling her she's fat. When asked, she said she hates her body and wants to be thin.

The other example is a 6 year old girl. Her mum had her when she was 15, and had always tried to keep her daughter healthy so that she wouldn't get fat. When the mum goes to the gym, the girl works with a personal trainer. Every other day, the mum and daughter go to the park, practise boxing, and do sit ups and push ups together. When asked whether she liked exercise, the girl said "One thing I DON'T like is that it makes you all sweaty. But I like that it gives you energy and I can have a nice body."


I personally just thought this was disgusting to be honest. I mean, okay, encourage them to be healthy, but to enforce such obsession with weight into such young children is just wrong. They would grow up with a distorted self-image etc etc. Opinions?

[Cosmo]

Psychological abuse. Children should be taken away and given to someone else who actually cares. These "Parents" (I use the term loosely) are just pushing their own images of self-esteem upon their children.

They're going to grow up with massive psychological, body, weight and self-esteem issues.

[FlyingTrue]

Anyone seeing this type of thing happening should be attempting to get proper help for them not trying to profit from it. Very sickening. Just like Toddlers and Tiaras except this is even worse.

[blumemusik♫]

Originally Posted by FlyingTrue

Just like Toddlers and Tiaras except this is even worse.

Funny you should say that, I created a thread on Toddlers and Tiaras a few months back :') I hate shows like this, but I watch them because I hate them and can shout at the telly Probably shouldn't I suppose, it encourages them and all that.

Although, to be fair, the presenters of the show seemed disapproving of the situations. So I don't think they were in any way SUPPORTING these parents.

[Aletheia*]

I was actually going to mention Toddlers & Tiaras in my post, but someone already beat me to it.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the idea of having these children taken from their parents, and put into a more stable living environment. Of course, parents want their children to be healthy but this is going a bit over board. The older girl still has a chance of realizing that what her mom is doing is obsessive, wrong and unnatural. But, the little 6 year old girl has been doing this since she was young, and probably has absorbed that into her head. She has little chance of having her thoughts about image changed.

GREAT PARENTING huh? Yeah, I'd have all of these woman convicted of abuse if I were a law officer of any kind. It's not fair to have them alter their appearances just to make their MOTHER happy. They should be staying fit and eating healthy for their own benefit.

[BDF]

[color="Black"]I've always believed that good parenting is about bringing your kids up to make up their own mind about things, through informed and objective decisions. Make them use their head. It's about teaching them to think.

Drilling into their mind that Christ is saviour, or that Allah is, or some other ideology... is bullshit. The example in this thread is very comparable to fanatical religious ideologies. These parents are crazy. So instead of being forced to pray say, 3 hours a day, the kids are pretty much being forced to do exercise instead. What's so different?

I'm supportive of doing exercise, and keeping healthy. I'm not supportive of forcing anyone to do it, or indoctrinating them into doing it.

What would I do different if I was the parent?
I would do my best to educate the kids and make them realise what the consequences of things such as eating MacDonalds every day are, of doing no exercise, being unfit and relying on energy drinks to "power" you through the day.

I understand that at a very young age... people simply do not have the intelligence to make objective choices. Kids very much copycat what they see. Nothing can be done about that. There's no perfect answer for how to bring someone up when they're like that. But that definitely shouldn't mean that you indoctrinate your kids into believing that exercise and staying fit/healthy is all that matters. Set a few good examples, and they'l follow, naturally.

[Marguerite]

I have a friend whose mum (who is the size of a house fyi) constantly berates her about her weight. And she thinks she's doing in a nice and helpful way, because she's not calling her a fat cow, she's telling her that she can't have X or Y until she loses X kilos, or that she's going to give her a present if she drops a dress size. My friend, by the way, is a perfectly normal weight. She struggles eating and often skips meals, because of this terrible self image her mum has given her.

If your child is actually overweight (and under 18, living at home), it's your own fault. If you want to fix it you don't have to tell them they're ugly and fat and unhealthy, you just have to stop buying junk food and go play with them or take a walk/run with them instead of sitting around the house. I can't think of a situation where telling your kids they are too fat and unattractive would be acceptable.

Originally Posted by BDF

Drilling into their mind that Christ is saviour, or that Allah is, or some other ideology... is bullshit. The example in this thread is very comparable to fanatical religious ideologies. These parents are crazy. So instead of being forced to pray say, 3 hours a day, the kids are pretty much being forced to do exercise instead. What's so different?

Fundamentalism is wrong in any form. What's so different is that most children who are taught and Allah or Christ is our saviour (or any other form of religion) aren't forced to pray three hours a day. Teaching your kids religious values is like teaching them to eat healthy. There is nothing wrong with that. Taking either overboard is dangerous, not because just because fanatical religion or fantatical dieting is wrong, but because pretty much anything is wrong once you put the word fanatical in front of it.

[Revolution]

Absolutely horrid. Why are they making a television show about this abuse? Why is this entertaining for people? These parents are disgusting, and the world is disgusting for watching and inadvertently supporting it. These shows should be off the air, and if the kids aren't taken away, there should at least be a warning.

[Brandon]

I actually kind of like the idea of parents using strict diet and exercise on their kids without the name-calling. Being strict may seem like a bad idea, but I think it all works out in the end when your teenager grows up to become a physically healthy adult. I don't think anyone deserves anything, but rather everything is earned. If we teach kids that positive things they do earns them ice cream or something like that, I'm willing to bet that they'll end up more productive in life than the kids who are taught that they don't need to do anything besides asking to get something. If you really want a cookie, then you'd be willing to do anything for it. Working out is beneficial, and it may even make that cookie taste even better. There is nothing wrong with promoting health; if it gives society the incentive to look a certain way, I'd rather someone look healthy than someone who is obese and doesn't look healthy at all. That doesn't mean I'd stop being a loving parent, by any means.

[Aletheia*]

These parents aren't exactly promoting healthy living. They are being forceful, and eventually will give their children horrible self-image problems.

[dr2005]

Originally Posted by Cosmo

Psychological abuse. Children should be taken away and given to someone else who actually cares. These "Parents" (I use the term loosely) are just pushing their own images of self-esteem upon their children.

They're going to grow up with massive psychological, body, weight and self-esteem issues.

It's not often I agree completely with what Matthew says, but on this occasion it's spot on for me. The irony in all this is that in an effort to promote a "healthy" lifestyle, they're actually ingraining highly unhealthy attitudes towards their bodies and the use of exercise, which when combined run the risk of serious health problems in future. Comments such as her being "fat" when being a healthy weight are a prime example of this, and seems to overlook the medical fact that you body needs a certain percentage of fat for you to actually live. Encouraging people to be healthy is one thing, and something I encourage, but this is taking it to another level entirely and I cannot condone it at all.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

I never heard of this show until now but I'm confused why it even exists. If the mothers are this forceful to their children and routinely tell them they're fat and ugly to motivate them to excessively exercise, why haven't police and social workers intervened?

My parents and grandmother used a similar method to raise me when I was young. Instead of physical exercise, I had to do extra homework they made and solve questions, usually for math that were far more difficult than my course work. If I couldn't solve it, then I couldn't play on the Internet, video or computer games, or eat a few candies. However, when I couldn't solve it, I was never called stupid, instead my father would show me how he arrived at the answer so I could learn for the new question the next day. Similarly, if I wanted to play with friends, I had to have all my homework and chores done, which often included helping my grandmother prepare dinner. Since she insisted on making everything from scratch, it usually took a while and she would start once I was finished my work (or once she got hungry). When I was older, if I didn't finish my work in time, either I make my own dinner or finish my work so I could eat the dinner my grandmother made. It was strict but I was never insulted and my parents wouldn't take it to extremes, they set a time limit by which I would eat dinner even if I didn't finish my work because it was getting a bit late in the day. Afterward, my parents would help me understand the homework.

It was strict and tough because they valued academic success. As I was near high-school, when I completed my homework on time and it was correct, I received money. If I did well on a test, I got money and if I finished earlier than expected, I got extra money. The same basic ideas applied though, if I wanted a treat, I work for it.

[FallenStar]

I wouldn't ever watch it, but I think its the parents choice up until the kid says they don't want to do it anymore.

[Revolution]

Originally Posted by The Man And XX Master

I never heard of this show until now but I'm confused why it even exists. If the mothers are this forceful to their children and routinely tell them they're fat and ugly to motivate them to excessively exercise, why haven't police and social workers intervened?

My parents and grandmother used a similar method to raise me when I was young. Instead of physical exercise, I had to do extra homework they made and solve questions, usually for math that were far more difficult than my course work. If I couldn't solve it, then I couldn't play on the Internet, video or computer games, or eat a few candies. However, when I couldn't solve it, I was never called stupid, instead my father would show me how he arrived at the answer so I could learn for the new question the next day. Similarly, if I wanted to play with friends, I had to have all my homework and chores done, which often included helping my grandmother prepare dinner. Since she insisted on making everything from scratch, it usually took a while and she would start once I was finished my work (or once she got hungry). When I was older, if I didn't finish my work in time, either I make my own dinner or finish my work so I could eat the dinner my grandmother made. It was strict but I was never insulted and my parents wouldn't take it to extremes, they set a time limit by which I would eat dinner even if I didn't finish my work because it was getting a bit late in the day. Afterward, my parents would help me understand the homework.

It was strict and tough because they valued academic success. As I was near high-school, when I completed my homework on time and it was correct, I received money. If I did well on a test, I got money and if I finished earlier than expected, I got extra money. The same basic ideas applied though, if I wanted a treat, I work for it.

See, but I feel this is different. This is like if these parents were encouraging their children to exercise and eat healthy. But these parents are calling their children fat and making them do extraneous amounts of work just to be able to receive one treat. It's not the same. What your parents did was very strict parenting, but not abusive. The name calling and ridiculous expectations are abusive. It's putting kids on the road to self image problems.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

Originally Posted by Coffee❤

See, but I feel this is different. This is like if these parents were encouraging their children to exercise and eat healthy. But these parents are calling their children fat and making them do extraneous amounts of work just to be able to receive one treat. It's not the same. What your parents did was very strict parenting, but not abusive. The name calling and ridiculous expectations are abusive. It's putting kids on the road to self image problems.

I agree without a doubt that my parents were strict but by no means abusive. I posted that to illustrate how the two are completely different.