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View Poll Results: Do we teach children to be too obedient?
Yes 9 34.62%
No 10 38.46%
Not sure 7 26.92%
Voters: 26. You may not vote on this poll

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Do we teach children to be too obedient? - February 18th 2012, 06:24 PM

I want to clarify that I think children should be obedient and respecful of adults and authority, but I think sometimes we teach them to listen to a fault. There was a story recently where parents are suing because when their son was 5 he broke his leg on the playground and a supervising adult told him to crawl back to class and he listened!


There are also countless stories of children who fly as unaccompanied minors that end up in the wrong place, I would guess because they're afraid to stand up to the adults and tell someone they're on the wrong plane.

This could also be true when dealing with adults who have bad intentions. Kids are more likely to go along with something inappropriate or dangerous if they're always told to listen to authority figures or adults. I'm all for teaching them respect, but I think we need to balance that with the fact that adults are people too and you don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable or that you think is wrong no matter who tells you to do it.

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Re: Do we teach children to be too obedient? - February 18th 2012, 07:00 PM

I don't think we teach children to be too obedient but rather we don't teach them enough about the dangers that are out there and about the many different kinds of people that we have in our world. I personally think that parents don't want to scare their children...but why keep them ignorant about the world when knowing stuff to a certain extent could potentially save their life one day? If a child knows right from wrong to begin with, they would probably stand up for themselves or speak up when they are in a situation that is making them feel uncomfortable or unsafe as long as they are taught how to handle those situations in a respectful manner, that is. So, I agree with you about balancing out respect with the fact that not every adult is telling them to do the right thing all the time. I don't know, that's just my thoughts on it

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Re: Do we teach children to be too obedient? - February 18th 2012, 07:47 PM

I don't think we are. Teaching a child when it is and is not okay to stand up to authority is a tricky subject. It's not exactly black and white.

Trying to make a 4 year old understand that it's okay to not listen to adults in some cases is hard to do. To a 4-year-old eating their veggies is bad. If you teach a child it's okay to say no if they don't feel comfortable doing it, they are going to start saying no every time you ask them to clean their room, brush their teeth, or get dressed.

However, by teaching a child to never talk to strangers, and even better not letting a young child wander off without proper supervision they won't get hurt by sketchy individuals. Then you should also teach children some obvious things that aren't okay, such as it's not okay to be touched by an adult or hurt in any way by an adult, and keeping secrets from mum/dad is a big no-no. I think if you do all that you won't have the problems of the children being harmed because they are "too obedient."

I'm amazed that little boy listened to the teacher, I don't even know how to explain that. I take care of my 6-year-old sister and 4-year-old cousin who might as well be my sister on a near daily basis, and it's hard to get them to stand up when they scrape their knee. I highly doubt I would be able to get them to move a muscle if they were to break a bone.

In the end, I have never met a child who always obeyed everything they were told. Most kids cop an attitude when they don't want to do something.

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Re: Do we teach children to be too obedient? - February 19th 2012, 12:35 PM

I work in a pre-school have simple rules - simply for the fact of health and safety such as ' don't run' ' kind hands , kind feet ' those sort of rules.

I don't know if we teach them to be to obedient - We do teach them that if they don't like something they can say no.

But the children can chose to run only to be reminded with a ' walk please' they can chose to hit each other but they will get told 'no hit' 'kind hands' and put on a time out or removed from the area in which they are playing with.

Whether or not we teaching them to be too obedient I don't know. Children especially young children do need rules and boundaries whilst at the same time they need the space and the time to take risks with supervision.

Teach children to behave but at the same time teach them that if they don't like something or that something makes them feel funny or sad they can say no and that they should tell someone.

Where I work I can put a child on time out several times and they won't stay there - but eventually I have found that if you keep returning them to that spot they will stay there for the duration. This is not teaching them how to obedient this is simply teaching them that their actions such as hitting or hurting another child has a consequence.

Children need simple rules and boundaries as some children do not get disciplined at home and are just let to run wild sometimes we are the children's only hope of being taught some rules and boundaries before they start elementary/primary school.

I think it's okay to teach children to behave as long you explain to them that if they do not like something or someone is upsetting them or making them do something they do not like it is okay for them to say no and for them to tell someone.

You can't expect children to behave all the time, children will be children, children misbehave its about learning what is correct and what is not correct .

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Re: Do we teach children to be too obedient? - February 20th 2012, 12:47 AM

Depends where you go. Where I'm from 90% of the youth doesn't give a shit what others say (which I don't really agree with),... that's in the UK. I've also spent several years living in Poland, and the situation used to be almost entirely the opposite. Adults are right, and no way in hell do you argue with them if you're under 18.

Personally I think people should make their own mind up about things. I hate the idea of indoctrinating kids into thinking that adults know everything and should be almost be "worshipped". Nobody knows everything. It's facking ignorant to suggest so, and irritates me when people think that, especially some adults.

Respect and trust is earned. My parents taught me that trust is earned, the respect bit I figured out myself. I don't care if someone is 150 years old, if they go out gambling every night, behave like a douche, drink and claim every social security benefit they possibly can. I don't care if they're 15, 30, 60, or 100 in that respect. A piece of shit is a piece of shit and age doesn't act as a multiplier (or divider) of it.

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Re: Do we teach children to be too obedient? - February 20th 2012, 02:15 AM

In the education system, I don't believe children are taught to be too obedient. In terms of strangers, it does seem young children are taught to fear all strangers in general, which isn't ideal but depending on the age and mental capacity, it may be too confusing for the child to learn exceptions to that rule. In school, children certainly need to be challenged otherwise they're not going to learn to think critically. It also seems kids are more willing to "talk back" to a teacher or adult because there is no longer the fear that teachers would incorporate physical punishment aside from the isolated cases here and there.

I was raised in a pretty strict environment where if I wanted some luxury, even if my parents could afford it, I had to earn it. I was also taught as long as I were a child (i.e. not a legal adult), when I live under my parents' roof, I go by their rules and we must all obey the law. My parents definitely maintained the view they knew more than I did but their knowledge was restricted. I was also taught respect is earned, which seems to be the opposite of what many kids display, whether it be a result of raging hormones or lax discipline from parents. Part of the discipline included my parents would follow through with threats of punishment so I'd learn if they said something were to happen, then it probably wasn't a joke.

When it came to older individuals, I was taught I should respect their experiences but not necessarily as a person, such as I should respect their national contribution as a war veteran but not necessarily as a person if they're always drunk off their ass hoping someone will give them money. If someone were behaving like an asshole regardless of their age or gender, I was taught they're an asshole. In the same view, I was taught to be honest as much as I could even if it hurts someone else because that pain helps them grow, as long as I'm not being a dickhead by insulting them.

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Re: Do we teach children to be too obedient? - February 20th 2012, 03:51 PM

BDF: My family's Polish, go figure.

All I know is whenever I double-checked adults or questioned them in any way I was whipped with a belt because they "know more than you [me]."

It has caused me some distress now that I'm older, and I often find myself pushed around by adults with bad attitudes. I've gradually been learning to stand up for myself.

It was arrogant of my parents to assume they knew more in every situation, and since I've been about ten, I've realized they make just as many mistakes as I do. I assure you I will never be as arrogant with my own children.

Then again, my household is far from "normal" and it has been for as long as I can remember so maybe I'm not the best example.

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Re: Do we teach children to be too obedient? - February 26th 2012, 07:37 AM

There is a different between obedience (which I equate more with "submission") and teaching your children to question the right things (or people). I'd rather raise a child that doesn't just swallow what he or she is told and instead asks questions and forms their own ideas at age-appropriate levels. I am worried for children, actually, that are taught to be little lambs. Little lambs grow up into big sheep that just blindly go with the flow. And that can be a pretty dangerous thing to do.

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Re: Do we teach children to be too obedient? - February 26th 2012, 07:40 AM

If "we" are, it sure as shit doesn't reflect in most kids.

One million miles away...
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