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Christianity and sexual sin - May 4th 2012, 01:51 PM

I have noticed a trend where things tend to go sour (relationships/flings) when I have pre-marital sex with the opposite sex. Do you think this is because God won't allow it because it is a sin? I am starting to get really frustrated because this has happened so many times now.
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Re: Christianity and sexual sin - May 4th 2012, 02:34 PM

No. Yeah, a lot of Christians believe it's a sin, but I think if you're in a long term committed relationship with someone you truly love, then it's okay. The reason those relationships went sour is because they just weren't the right one for you; it takes a few tries to find the one you're meant to be with. I've had two sexual relationships before my current boyfriend. They didn't work out, and I'm glad they didn't, because I'm with my boyfriend now and he is the one I believe I am truly happy with and after looking at past relationships, I can see now that there were problems I had ignored, believing I was in love when I really wasn't. I'm sexual with my boyfriend, we have no problems in our relationship, and we're going on 6 months together. Just because a relationship goes bad it doesn't mean it's because you sinned. Relationships just go bad sometimes. It all depends on what you believe, but as I said before, I'm a Christian and I think it's fine as long as you're in love and in a serious relationship.

EDIT: I'd also like to add that there are plenty of people all over the world who have had premarital sex and are still with/married to their sexual partner. I have a friend who's been with her guy for 2 years, and they're active and very happy. Sex isn't bad. So many people make it out to be, but it's not. It's just precious. And you just need to be careful, and sure, of who you share that precious thing with.

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Last edited by Koharuchan; May 4th 2012 at 02:42 PM.
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Re: Christianity and sexual sin - May 4th 2012, 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by pursuit-of-happiness View Post
I have noticed a trend where things tend to go sour (relationships/flings) when I have pre-marital sex with the opposite sex. Do you think this is because God won't allow it because it is a sin? I am starting to get really frustrated because this has happened so many times now.
I am not going to answer this directly for you, but attempt to guide you.

First of all, sin is a sin if it defies your conscience. Paul tells us that each of us should be fully persuaded in our own mind, otherwise it does not come from faith. If your conscience condemns you, as I believe it has, then, yes, it is wrong for you.

However, we need to be careful not to objectify sin. That is, I'm uncertain whether there is a moral law or not. I believe to a degree, the Bible teaches a relative morality. To say, "Pre-marital sex is a sin," is to be in the letter of the law. It is something the Pharisees were guilty of. Instead, we should be in the Spirit of the law, which is love. So, if it is done in love, is it a sin? And love never fails. So, our intention in the relationship should be a lasting relationship until we part through death.

Next, we have a issue with what is defined as "pre-marital." It may seem like such a weird question. However, the early Christians didn't affiliate with the government. So, is marriage ONLY marriage because it is legal, and thus makes sex legal?

If you want my direct answer, for you, I believe, yes, it is a sin. You seem to be uncomfortable with it.

Despite this, to answer your question, I have found in my experience, that anytime a sexual act is done that defies my conscience, no matter how sincere I claim my love to be, I tend to objectify my partner (in this case, my wife). If I do something that is sexual, yet my conscience condemns me, I find sex becomes what I want, not my partner.

So, in many cases, yes, I believe that this is why things go sour. But, we need to keep in mind, this doesn't mean if you get married that everything will be fixed, or that you won't objectify your wife. I still do! But, it is largely when I am living in some sort of sexual rebellion/sin.

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Re: Christianity and sexual sin - May 16th 2012, 06:39 AM

From a Christian perspective, I'd shy away from looking at things going sour as a "punishment" from God for it. Rather, consider it from another perspective; is it possible that we are told not to do it not only for the moral reasons but also because of the negative consequences it can/will have? Kinda akin to a kid and a hot stove, as a parent will usually tell their child not to touch it because they know it will hurt them. Not a perfect analogy, but it captures the idea.

That, and I echo what Of Mike and Men said above for the most part.
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