TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Religion and Spirituality, Science and Philosophy Use this forum to discuss what you believe in. This is a place where everyone may share their views freely.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
L.j. Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
L.j.'s Avatar
 
Name: Jay
Age: 20
Gender: Female

Posts: 22
Join Date: February 18th 2013

Time for a change? - February 26th 2013, 11:24 PM

So... I have pretty much been raised atheist by both my parents, and they think church is ridiculous, ect. After being raised by them, my brother is pretty much the same, though he doesn't voice these viewpoints as often, not even in our own home (where my father constantly pokes fun at religion, and most often the Church of Latter Day Saints, which are otherwise known as Mormons).

Until recently, I've sort of held the same viewpoints as my parents. When life went downhill, I didn't have anyone to turn to, because I didn't trust my parents, and I didn't want to burden my brother. I had never felt so completely and utterly alone.

Things went downhill from there, until I told some of my problems to one of my close friends (who is Mormon), and she invited me to come to her church, to at least get away from my parents (my parents were the root of some of my problems). I agreed, and she made arrangements with her mother to get me a ride. This was last weekend, by the way.

Convincing my parents to let me go to church was difficult (they're reluctant to let me go anywhere anyway), and then they just thought I was crazy. Again, I felt very alone, and I started to doubt that this was the right choice if it was causing me all these new troubles. Eventually, though, my parents agreed, and I went to church that Sunday.

Going to church for the first time in my life was unlike anything I've ever experienced. It was fun (I knew most of the kids who were my age; we attend the same school), and for once I felt like I belonged, or that I was at least not disliked. My friend explained many of the Mormon's beliefs, and she seemed afraid at first that I would make fun of her, but honestly, I thought it made sense. I don't think anyone would understand how much things just seemed to snap into place that day.

I wanted to return this weekend, but we have a preplanned family thing going on, so I knew that wasn't an option. The week afterwards, we didn't have anything, but then my mom scheduled something. :/ It seems like she's still intentionally trying to not let me go to church. (She did try pretty hard to not let me go the first weekend; I had to clean house, do extra chores, ect. all in one hour in order to attend church.) How do I tell my atheistic family that I believe in the Mormon God and that I want to keep attending church?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
ThisWillDestroyYou's Avatar
 
Name: Michael
Gender: Male
Location: USA

Posts: 1,050
Join Date: July 5th 2011

Re: Time for a change? - February 27th 2013, 03:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by L.j. View Post
So... I have pretty much been raised atheist by both my parents, and they think church is ridiculous, ect. After being raised by them, my brother is pretty much the same, though he doesn't voice these viewpoints as often, not even in our own home (where my father constantly pokes fun at religion, and most often the Church of Latter Day Saints, which are otherwise known as Mormons).

Until recently, I've sort of held the same viewpoints as my parents. When life went downhill, I didn't have anyone to turn to, because I didn't trust my parents, and I didn't want to burden my brother. I had never felt so completely and utterly alone.

Things went downhill from there, until I told some of my problems to one of my close friends (who is Mormon), and she invited me to come to her church, to at least get away from my parents (my parents were the root of some of my problems). I agreed, and she made arrangements with her mother to get me a ride. This was last weekend, by the way.

Convincing my parents to let me go to church was difficult (they're reluctant to let me go anywhere anyway), and then they just thought I was crazy. Again, I felt very alone, and I started to doubt that this was the right choice if it was causing me all these new troubles. Eventually, though, my parents agreed, and I went to church that Sunday.

Going to church for the first time in my life was unlike anything I've ever experienced. It was fun (I knew most of the kids who were my age; we attend the same school), and for once I felt like I belonged, or that I was at least not disliked. My friend explained many of the Mormon's beliefs, and she seemed afraid at first that I would make fun of her, but honestly, I thought it made sense. I don't think anyone would understand how much things just seemed to snap into place that day.

I wanted to return this weekend, but we have a preplanned family thing going on, so I knew that wasn't an option. The week afterwards, we didn't have anything, but then my mom scheduled something. :/ It seems like she's still intentionally trying to not let me go to church. (She did try pretty hard to not let me go the first weekend; I had to clean house, do extra chores, ect. all in one hour in order to attend church.) How do I tell my atheistic family that I believe in the Mormon God and that I want to keep attending church?
Lily,

I am an agnostic-atheist and all of this pains me to read. Not because you are looking into conversion, but because your family is trying to indoctrinate you like other fundamentalists. I am very sorry you are in this situation, and if you EVER need anyone to talk to, you can come to me. I was raised Christian, and I study a lot of religious texts, etc. so I do have some knowledge.

Anyways, before going to your parents, I think you need to get grounded in Mormon beliefs a little bit better. Perhaps you feel your knowledge is already sufficient, but get some texts on it and a Mormon bible, get in touch with some Mormon friends. Do it behind your parent's backs if you have to. Just make sure that BEFORE you go to them, you have a defense.

Also, beware that if you are raised to hate one thing, psychologically you could potentially seek to convert to that thing. In other words, someone who is raised to hate Lutherans will be more likely to convert to Lutheranism later in life. If even for a short time. God is also a powerful placebo. Because you're having a rough time, it is natural to seek comfort from a deity or a religious crowd. Just know that your parents may accuse you of these things.

Lastly, when discussing your parents, make sure you acknowledge that they are unaccepting of the Mormon views, but that you have come to this decision on your own. Just make sure you sound like you've considered their beliefs, but are curious about Mormonism. Don't flat out say you want to be Mormon. If you do that you'll risk sounding like you're just being an impulsive teenager. If they still try to plan things so you can't attend church, study on your own. I don't see why you should NEED to go somewhere to claim your religious identity. Do it privately. Find some friends. Maybe see if there are youth meetings or youth group that you can attend on another day and tell your parents you are going to hang out with some friends or something. Also, don't accuse your parents of preventing you from going to church. That will only make matters worse.

I hope something from this helps. Good luck. I'd pray for you, but prayer isn't really my thing.


"For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love."
- Carl Sagan

Last edited by ThisWillDestroyYou; February 27th 2013 at 03:50 AM.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
snappydog Offline
Whimsical Nocturne
Average Joe
***
 
snappydog's Avatar
 
Name: Chris
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Location: Exeter

Posts: 134
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: October 31st 2009

Re: Time for a change? - February 28th 2013, 10:50 PM

I'd just like to point out, if I may, that going from 'I felt like I was among people who accepted me' to 'I believe in the Mormon God' seems a big leap. It's totally understandable to feel good about being around people who treat you better than you're used to, but it really is a big jump from that to believing fully in a deity and associated system and traditions.


It's no surprise that you'll soon forget about me
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
ThisWillDestroyYou's Avatar
 
Name: Michael
Gender: Male
Location: USA

Posts: 1,050
Join Date: July 5th 2011

Re: Time for a change? - March 1st 2013, 12:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by snappydog View Post
I'd just like to point out, if I may, that going from 'I felt like I was among people who accepted me' to 'I believe in the Mormon God' seems a big leap. It's totally understandable to feel good about being around people who treat you better than you're used to, but it really is a big jump from that to believing fully in a deity and associated system and traditions.
She did say that her friend explained their beliefs to her and they "made sense." But, I do agree. That's why I think it's important to explain that she is curious about Mormonism, or at least exploring the belief in a Deity, and not claim to be a flat out Mormon.

Moving from Atheism to Theism is a large leap. You might believe in a god, but which god? How do you know you believe in the Mormon god? That is, it might be worthwhile to consider why you believe in the Mormon god over another god. Maybe other beliefs in a said deity will make even more sense than the Mormon god. Just something to consider before claiming to be Mormon.

I hope the OP does not get discouraged from all this, but just uses a little bit of discernment. Finding your religious identity at a young age can prove difficult, but still possible. I just would be wary on the rationality one is using to find that identity, and hope it isn't heavily lenient on bad philosophy or raw emotion.


"For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love."
- Carl Sagan
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Always * Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Always *'s Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Hogwarts

Posts: 3,186
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: April 12th 2012

Re: Time for a change? - March 1st 2013, 02:53 AM

Look, your parents aren't exactly being ridiculous, its actually quite common when a kid changes from on religion to another OR even from on denomination to the other. Lots of parents try their best to evade it without flat out telling their kid no. Because i think that deep down they know their child is entitled to make up their own minds about what they believe and it may turn out that it actually is not what they believe and that they can't really stop that.

It might be best to explain to your parents that you are curious about the religion and that it is something you related to strongly. Your parents might feel like they're taking advantage of your vulnerability to draw you in. Technically may be true, but it makes it seem like there is some malicious intention behind conversion. Technically I can think of cases where it IS malicious (60's scoop, residential schools, etc) but in instances like this it's really not. It might help if you're parents get to express why they don't want you going instead of just letting them be evasive about it. Telling them that you felt like you think the community will be good for you might help. I think a lot of people have a tendency to see Mormons, Jehovah Witnesses and Pentecostals as fanatics which isn't always the case and it would be best to try to dispell some of those problems.

And mostly just keep persisting. Start trying to go to youth nights, make sure you tell your mom/dad well ahead and be like "what can I do to make sure you won't be needing me to be here during that time?" so that she can't just make something up, tell her that you want to know now so that you can either ask that the family movie night be moved or so that you can get chores done. Tell her that youve struggling and that this would be good for you




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
KiwiGal Offline
Perfect just as you are
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
KiwiGal's Avatar
 
Name: Beka
Gender: Female
Location: Australia

Posts: 592
Blog Entries: 28
Join Date: August 9th 2009

Re: Time for a change? - March 6th 2013, 10:48 AM

I was brought up in a anti religious family.
untill a few years ago i thought religion was BS. . . But i got into a good group of friends who went to church/ youth group, and through that I became a christian.

First time i asked my parents if i could go to church they thought i was crazy, and My brother costantly has digs at me for going to church and being a Christian.
being a believer will never be easy, and people will judge. But i know at least for me, my faith has lead me far in life, and far away from old bad habits etc.

So just hang in there.
maybe if you cant go to church, see if you can go to your friends, and have small bible studies or something with her.

Keep your head held high!


<3


KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!
NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
<3<3<3<3
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
change, time

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.