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Religion and Spirituality, Science and Philosophy Use this forum to discuss what you believe in. This is a place where everyone may share their views freely.

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Writer Offline
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How to decide between two religions? - January 10th 2015, 01:38 AM

I'm going bonkers.

So, my entire family is Christian. Right? Right. They're all a pretty admirable bunch of people. My cousin's started his own ministry, and he's doing a lot of good in the community. I went to church for Christmas to hear my little siblings singing in the choir.

Normally I'm a pretty stalwart pagan, of the Hellenismos variety (Hellenic Polytheist). I've had experiences with those Gods that I've never had with God or Jesus. The mentors I had in that religion made more sense to me than anyone or anything. And the Gods... I had such a strong bond with those Gods. I still feel it, even now.

Christianity... I've been trying it. I've been trying and trying it. I've read pro-belief books with sound arguments. I've heard my mother's and grandmother's arguments (the latter was much more helpful than the former). I've prayed. I've felt nothing, nothing, nothing... I've felt alone when I pray, I've felt alone when I'm afraid of the dark, I felt alone when I was reading the Bible. Some subconscious part of me is still screaming: "It isn't right! It isn't right!"

This evening I was on Facebook, and a picture of the goddess I most often prayed to - the one I've dreamed of before - appeared on my wall. The next thing I knew, I was crying and everything I'd felt so frightened of seemed so small. I didn't feel alone anymore, just looking at that picture.

Now I'm about half afraid to stop converting to Christianity, because the arguments that one book presented were so sound. I've almost convinced myself of it - but I feel so... Repressed. Not oppressed, mind you. I feel peaceful, right, but I feel like I've just thrown away everything that mattered. I don't know who to believe in, what to believe in. If I died right this instant, by Christianity's standards, I'd go straight to Hell. But I miss my Gods so much it hurts.

My family will be disappointed. If I die, nothing will be certain anymore. I miss my old religion, and I want it more than anything in the world, but if I die and Christianity's right, then I'm lost.

But right now, I feel like I've lost myself. Not to mention that my muse for writing is completely gone. I used to pray to my Gods for thoughts when all mine had left me, and now... Oi. It's like I'm running bat-shit blind through the middle of nothingness with my arms flailing around like a damned cuckoo bird, looking for something tangible that simply isn't there.

Someone give me some advice. Please.


ANNA
ENTJ, HERMIT, AUTHOR.
"The most notorious ill-fortune must, in the end, yield to the untiring courage of philosophy - as the most stubborn city to the ceaseless vigilance of the enemy." - Edgar Allan Poe

c

Last edited by Writer; January 10th 2015 at 03:50 AM.
   
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Re: How to decide between two religions? - January 10th 2015, 05:27 PM

So you're bowing down in the face of fear, even though you long to return to your goddess? Christianity has many flaws regarding who is and isn't allowed into heaven, and in general the circumstances of an afterlife. In fact, it's so contradictory and diluted, I wouldn't really worry about whatever may happen even in the unlikely event Christianity is the correct religion. So long as you continue to follow the morals and values of Hellenismos, I don't think any harm would come to you.
   
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Re: How to decide between two religions? - January 10th 2015, 08:53 PM

Why not both? I think it's totally valid for you to shape your own beliefs using qualities of both religions. You don't have to stick to just one set of standards or ideas.



Sorry I couldn't be there, I was tied to a rocking chair.




   
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Re: How to decide between two religions? - January 11th 2015, 03:40 AM

As Katie said, it's entirely possible for you to form your own belief system based on aspects of each religion. Overall, I would just encourage you to follow what feels most right to you and the religion that you identify with the most.


wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
   
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Re: How to decide between two religions? - January 18th 2015, 06:24 PM

First of all, you don't 'choose' a religion, religion chooses you. I would say I'm a Christian, even though I'm not exactly a Christian. My views don't necessarily follow one particular religion. I believe in some kind of external force, that is incomprehensible to any human being, and I choose to call this force 'God'. I know that God, whoever or whatever s/he is, loves me and I love him (she, it... You get the idea). I also know that when I die, I'll get to be with God, because Im with him now. I pray every night, well to be honest, I pray all the time, even about the silliest things... 'Dear God, please make it so the stupid bus gets here soon cuz its raining and I'm cold and I don't wanna be late, thanks' 'Dear God, please make it so that my fav song comes on the radio next', 'Dear God, just wanted to thank you for being so awesome, you already know you're awesome but I just thought I'd thank you anyway'.... Do those sound like typical Christian prayers to you? I don't go to church, I don't take the bible literally or believe everything that's in it. I don't believe that saying 'oh my God', or lying, or having sex before marriage is going to guarantee you a place in hell. And I certainly don't believe that 'rejecting' God will get you there either.

As I said, you don't choose religion, religion chooses you. I didn't say to myself, 'You know what from now on, I'm a Christian'. You know how God found me? With a razor blade, and a suicide note in my hand. That's when God found me and showed me how unconditionally he loved me. I didn't choose to find him, before I made the decision to end my life I thought, either there is no afterlife, or all those preaching idiots are right, and I'll burn in hell for eternity, but I didn't care. For some reason, God chose to find me, and for that, I am so grateful.

But not everyone is lucky like me. Some people spend their entire lives forcing themselves to worship something that they don't believe in, for fear of spending eternity in hell. Some people never find God. It sounds to me like God has found you, in whatever form your God may be, you know that she/he/it loves you. Worship this God, know that you are loved, do whatever you feel is right to YOU. Im not forcing myself to go to church and read the bible because it doesn't feel right to me. Everyone worships God in their own way... Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism... They're all worshipping the same God. As long as you love your God unconditionally, like he loves you, as long as you don't do anything that you know goes against his wishes, then you will eventually spend an eternity with them. This doesn't mean that anyone who hasn't found God is 'rejecting' him. If they live their lives by what they believe is right, and don't do anything that they themselves know is wrong, then in the end they too will find God, and spend an eternity knowing that they're loved by him.

Hope I helped x

Last edited by Treble; January 18th 2015 at 09:22 PM.
   
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