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Religion and Spirituality, Science and Philosophy Use this forum to discuss what you believe in. This is a place where everyone may share their views freely.

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Hurricane99 Offline
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Question Do you trust no one? - March 26th 2016, 03:19 PM

In my life, over the course of 16 years, I've seen many people own up to the fact that they don't trust anyone. Not even their best friend, family or pet?! I used to be one of those people but one day I wondered if that was really true...
And I thought, no. That is a false statement as whenever we interact with someone it is usually based on trust. For instance if you're telling someone your name, aren't you trusting them with your name? If you're interacting with someone face to face aren't you trusting them with your features and trusting them to be good to you no matter what.. If you're going to and from school by a bus, aren't you trusting that driver with your life?!!? How does trust work? Unconsciously? I'm curious.
   
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Re: Do you trust no one? - March 26th 2016, 05:55 PM

I don't think that it happens unconsciously, to some level you do realize that you are trusting people in this way. I guess because we act civil and function as a society, and have for thousands of years, that we are able to trust people with these small things and trust that they will not be used against us in any way. We trust these people because we believe that they are not a danger to us. If no one trusted each other, we'd all act like wild animals.
As for me, I'd like to say that I can trust people, especially with the little things that your talking about. But after being burned so many times by bad friends and just bad people in general, you don't trust as much as you would before. It's like the thing with the danger; you feel like if you tell someone some things or you trust them with something that they will end up hurting you, and so you no longer trust them. It's almost like animal instinct, if you really think about it.


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Re: Do you trust no one? - March 26th 2016, 07:14 PM

So every one does unconsciously trust each other with petty things such as our names etc. but what about the events which look like not really kind of a big deal but are in fact a very big issue. Such as people over the course of all the world agree to the fact that things such as cell phones and expensive jewelry must not be handed to the guard for safe keeping but we keep the guards stationed outside our homes trusting them with our life that they will no matter what keep us safe! Is it that we value jewelry and expensive items more than our lives? I find that very irrational...
   
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Re: Do you trust no one? - March 26th 2016, 10:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hurricane99 View Post
In my life, over the course of 16 years, I've seen many people own up to the fact that they don't trust anyone. Not even their best friend, family or pet?! I used to be one of those people but one day I wondered if that was really true...
And I thought, no. That is a false statement as whenever we interact with someone it is usually based on trust. For instance if you're telling someone your name, aren't you trusting them with your name? If you're interacting with someone face to face aren't you trusting them with your features and trusting them to be good to you no matter what.. If you're going to and from school by a bus, aren't you trusting that driver with your life?!!? How does trust work? Unconsciously? I'm curious.
Trust, more or less, comes from experience. It's something that's built on. We also base trust on something called a representativeness heuristic. That is, based on probability.

For example, when you say don't you trust someone when they give you their name. Well, yeah, because we're using a heuristic that says they probably have no reason to lie about that. Thus, your brain uses a heuristic to simply accept what they say.

Experience also has something to do with it. You've been exposed to a vehicle since you were a child. You've never died in a car crash, thus you trust your car because its always gotten you to where you need to go. You can also apply the heuristic to this as well. The probability that you, SPECIFICALLY YOU, will get in an accident and die, is VERY unlikely. Think about it. Whenever a tragic accident happens to someone you love, you immediately think, "I never thought this would happen to me." You're using a heuristic.

I think when people say they don't trust people, it's more with major things, and skepticism is necessary to survive. Without it science wouldn't exist. Cars wouldn't exist. Bridges wouldn't exist. We'd be stuck in the dark ages, and beyond. We are skeptics because evolutionary determines it's how we (humans) survive/adapt.

It also has to do a lot with how you were raised as a child. There is a lot of correlation with trust and childhood.

In the end, there are a lot of factors. I rarely think people mean they distrust literally everything. It would be impossible to function if that were the case. On the other hand, it is necessary to meet everything with a healthy dose of skepticism.


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Re: Do you trust no one? - March 27th 2016, 01:40 AM

No, I don't, but the extent of my trust varies. That's one reason why I'm so introverted and insecure. I trust my parents a good deal, but there are so many things I wouldn't ever talk to them about ("Bisexual?! But what if you go to hell??" ...hasn't come up yet ). Same for my brothers. I don't trust even my closest friend; not with what I tell him, but what I expect of him. I love him, but he's dumb as hell. And my other closest friend turned out to be incredibly two-faced... I thought she was incredibly open with me about everything, but no, its that way for everyone, for everything. Its a good thing our friends no longer overlap, who knows what her current friends know about me. Aside from her, I grew up with just a TON of traitorous friends. Like, it was basically a right of passage for the guys in my class to turn on me. Fucking pussies. Only one of them could've ever fought me and not been beaten to a pulp. Sometimes, I really wish I had been bullied physically in middle school... Manipulation is brutal.
Sometimes, its like I would actually trust someone more if I know I'll never see them again. They can't hurt me.

Who would've thought this post would get my blood pressure up...


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Re: Do you trust no one? - March 27th 2016, 05:58 AM

I think most people trust others with basic/petty things i.e. names, basic social conduct and etiquette etc. I do think it varies with the individual though. For instance, I don't always trust others with knowing my name, so I don't share it a lot. However, I do trust that most people will treat me civilly while we're out and about in public (i.e. not whack me upside the head with a bat for no reason or something). I do think basic trust is unconscious to some extent. It's where mistrust is concerned that it becomes more of a conscious thing.

But I think that when most people say they don't trust anyone, it's in regard to deeper things, so things that hit a little more close to home. Like thoughts and feelings and experiences - things that you wouldn't share with just anybody.

As for whether or not I trust anybody, I can honestly say that there's no one I trust completely in the world, aside from with aforementioned basic/petty things and maybe some of what goes on in my head, but not necessarily in the same way that someone else would trust others. I may trust a complete stranger (or someone I don't feel very close to or who I know doesn't care for me) with more details about my life than I would a *close friend* or somebody who might genuinely care about me because the latter may be upset by those things or at me for that matter and that's not something I feel they should have to deal with, whereas somebody who couldn't care less will just umm and ahh and say okay and brush it under the rug so there's no risk of upsetting anybody, and that's just what I'm comfortable with at the end of the day.

Not that any of that was particularly relevant, but it just goes to show that trust isn't a definite thing. It's definitely circumstantial and a person's ability to trust depends on the situation, their personality, the people they're interacting with, their personal experiences, upbringing, how they perceive different stimuli etc. There are some who trust more easily than others, and others who trust very little at all. But I'd say that most people subconsciously trust others with petty things (i.e. people you meet with your name, the bus driver with getting you to your destination safely etc).


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Re: Do you trust no one? - March 27th 2016, 10:04 AM

Woah! All of that was so helpful, and made me understand a lot about how trust works! Thank you so much guys! I really appreciate that! Cleared up a lot of fog, but then what about :

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hurricane99 View Post
So every one does unconsciously trust each other with petty things such as our names etc. but what about the events which look like not really kind of a big deal but are in fact a very big issue. Such as people over the course of all the world agree to the fact that things such as cell phones and expensive jewelry must not be handed to the guard for safe keeping but we keep the guards stationed outside our homes trusting them with our life that they will no matter what keep us safe! Is it that we value jewelry and expensive items more than our lives? I find that very irrational...
   
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