Christian Dating and Relationships -
June 3rd 2010, 06:43 PM
I am reading a christian book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye (don't judge by the title, it tends to throw people off), which is about how to have the right kind of pure christian relationships. I want to share some things that it says about purity (not just sexual purity, emotional too) and christian relationships. I am going to tell you ahead of time though, if you are not christian or do not have strong beliefs, this probably will only annoy you and not be of interest to you. If that is you, you are still welcome to reply and express your thoughts on the subject, but please don't start fights. This is supposed to be to help people who want to take it seriously. A lot of you won't agree with these points, and that's fine, but I do and I wanted to share them. I am NOT saying that you are a bad person if you don't follow these things. They aren't in the bible saying that you have to follow them, they are just someone's opinions that I happen to agree with- so I wanted to post it in case it could help other people in the way that it helped me.
-My favorite point that the author has made in the book so far is when he says that if it isn't the right time for the relationship, don't force it just because the person seems like they are right for you. If you have dreams to accomplish before you can be in the relationship (going away to college, for example), go get those dreams. Don't be held back. God will bring you back together afterwards if it is in his will. And if it's not, then they weren't the one for you anyways. So don't force a relationship that isn't meant to be yet. Sometimes God needs to use you as a single person first before it is time to be in a relationship.
-Another point that I really agreed with was about violating people's purity. This doesn't just mean sex. If you are in any type of romantic relationship, even just going out on a casual date, you are getting involved with that person romantically. If you aren't serious about it and are just going out for fun or for company, you most likely won't end up marrying that person. So why should you be getting romantically involved with someone who is going to end up being somebody else's husband/wife? Do not ask for intimacy that you are not able to match with commitment. So unless you already close friends with this person and you know there is a huge possibility that they are the one for you, and you are ready for that type of commitment, there is no need to date them. The best relationships are between two people who care more about each other's good than their own momentary pleasure. So don't be with someone if you aren't serious about commiting.
- If you are in a relationship, make sure that it is not causing you to sin in any way- including lust and worry.
- You have to look at the bigger picture, not just the now. If there are road blocks coming up in the future (going away to college, one of you wanting kids and one not wanting kids, etc.), don't start a relationship anyways and say "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it". Because when you do get to it, you are most likely going to realize that there is no way out and you will have to break up. This goes back to the first thing that I posted; if it is meant to work out, it will, you don't have to force it.
If anyone has any more of these, has anything that they want to add, or wants me to post more as I continue reading this book- post away!