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my story why i was gone - December 10th 2012, 02:12 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

ive been gome for awhile for issues that where not of my control i remember telling ppl on here that i was safe and with good ppl but that was a lie i in fact was not safe i was with family but the wrong kind the kind that delt with drugs and abuse and i was right in the middle of it
after getting away form my father the courts put me with family of my father his brother and wife and kids they where apart of a life that would scare many ppl and most wouldnt survive everything seemed ok for a while but the screaming started then shortly after beatings i was always covered in bruises
i was never really able to leave the property house and yard work consumed me dayly and at times nightly the nightly terrors where of my being attacked sexually by their oldlest son which caused a painful pregnancy the work never stopped neither did the abuse i gave birth to a healthy baby girl who was named Elizabeth i got to hold her once then she was ripped form me a year later history repeated itself on which a baby boy was brough in this world named TJ i never got to hold him nor care for either of them
apart form the beatings and house/yard work the thing that really hurts is i never got to hld or care for or kiss booboos i had no interaction with the children papers where signed willingly on my part that my guardainship will be dropped bc of my emotional and mention status i was not able to take care of them but at night i would cry wishing that i could spend time with them and hold them but i never got to and never will...even now i regret it but ill never get that chance agin my insides r to torn up to conceive
i had given up no one knew how close i really was to ending everything i had lost so much i was ready and willing to say goodbye so i prepared in my own way all the pain meds i could find stored them in the bathroom in the morning they would find me in the shower not breathing with a note on the stool...that note would contain these words..
*this world will let me hold things without me in it this world i choose to leave behind theres nothing good in it no life no love this cold world will continue to grow and become colder without me in it for i will not be back and i will not be missed just a whisper in the wind is all i have ever been no one ever notices when we go i mean when we really choose to leave at best u might feel a whisper or a wave of a whisper unguating down i took my life hoping for something better dreaming of a different world that was never gonna come to me i was here for a moment then gone the next i wish u all a happy long life*
after getting myself ready i check my fan site once more to delete my account when i had a post on my wall a friend just as lost as i was a girl had shattered him he was reaching out for some comfert and comfert at all so i stayed up trying to help still with my plan in motion after helping making him smile 2 days had gone by my plan still n my head then he called hearing his voice hearing the pain and love in his ton my plan seemed to be slipping away then right before hanging up i hear....i love u....shocked uncertaina friendship turned into a spark that spark turned in to a rageing flame of love soon i trusted him enough to tell him what was going on after seeing bruises (skype) hearing fihts (skype) he helped me get away both of us fearing for my life
3 buses 3 days no food no water....i ended up in his arms safe happy living with him and now married more happier each day my brusies r healing im smiling more sleeping better eating better
always remember never go chasing love it will only break u always be patient and wait calmly for it bc when it hits u u will be happy safe and loved this is my story how i found love and was brought to my love and the safty of his heart


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Last edited by Hypothesis.; December 10th 2012 at 02:22 AM. Reason: Adding triggering prefix. :)
   
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Re: my story why i was gone - December 10th 2012, 02:29 AM

I've moved this to Arrivals & Departures because I think you'll get a better response there.

I'm sorry to hear about all you have gone through, but I am so glad you have found someone who has made this all worthwhile for you! And to see you back! I'm looking forward to talking to you again.


   
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Re: my story why i was gone - December 13th 2012, 12:14 AM

Hey there, I'm Michael. Sorry to hear about all you've been through, glad to see you've pulled through it though! PM me if you ever need anything!
   
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Re: my story why i was gone - December 13th 2012, 01:31 AM

back to TeenHelp! I'm sorry to hear about everything. I'm really happy to hear you're with someone you love. You deserve the best. I wish you two a long and happy life together.

~ Christabel
   
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Re: my story why i was gone - December 13th 2012, 08:31 PM

thank u all in here if anyone needs a friend to talk to its good to be back
   
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Re: my story why i was gone - December 13th 2012, 08:41 PM

Hello Brittany!
My name is Kaitlyn, I am so glad that you back! I am so sorry about everything but I am so glad that you are back on teenhelp! Feel free to PM me anytime you have a problem and you need to talk or if you feel like you just need a friend! HOpe to hear from you soon!


"My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return. "
   
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Re: my story why i was gone - December 13th 2012, 08:45 PM

Thank you. =)

~ Christabel
   
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Re: my story why i was gone - December 15th 2012, 02:52 AM

it is good to be back everyone
   
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Re: my story why i was gone - December 15th 2012, 11:23 AM

Welcome back

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

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Re: my story why i was gone - December 15th 2012, 03:40 PM

Hey Brittany! I'm so so so so sorry you had to go through all of that, it sounds like literal hell on earth.

I'm so glad you're back, I missed you.
(I used to be xDarkMagicx if you remember me, lol.)

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Re: my story why i was gone - December 15th 2012, 04:38 PM

Hey there welcome back
   
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Re: my story why i was gone - December 16th 2012, 07:35 AM

thank u alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
   
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Re: my story why i was gone - December 16th 2012, 12:17 PM

hey, I'm Brenna!
I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that trauma, but I am so glad you are back and healthy with someone who truly cares right by your side!


“Go where you are celebrated – not tolerated. If they can’t see the real value of you, it’s time for a new start.”

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