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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
del677 Offline
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Offended and leaving - November 4th 2017, 07:04 AM

It has come to my attention that moderators don't like my posts, claiming I am diagnosing people. I disagree but I know my opinion doesn't matter.

Sorry I am offended, and in a bad mood tonight, as depression is something I'm very familiar with having suffered it for much of my life, that and autism and Asperger's.

So I'm leaving TeenHelp and I'll spend the next few weeks feeling guilty for ever coming here and posting.

(Don't worry, I have a counselor who wanted to urgently meet with me next Wednesday but I declined that offer; and I have a psychiatrist who's trying to get me in early but I again declined, since neither of them can fix me, or I'd be fixed by now.)

Oh and I apologize to the moderators I don't want anyone to feel bad I already feel bad enough for the rest of the world. Everyone else be happy! I'll do the Jesus thing who suffered so everyone else can be happy.

(If life is a zero sum-game then the more I suffer the more happiness there is to go around. I'm not sure if life is a zero-sum game though. My counselor doesn't seem to understand the question, and my psychiatrist points out I'm not Jesus, which... may be a legitimate observationóbut it still circumvents the question.)

Thank you everyone for putting up with me and pointing out that I don't fit in here (or possibly anywhere).

  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Ambedo. Offline
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Re: Offended and leaving - November 4th 2017, 08:59 AM

Hey Del,

I'm truly sorry if anyone has made you feel unwelcome or like you don't fit in here. The beauty of TeenHelp is that it's for EVERYONE, so there's definitely a spot for you here. If you're interested in trying to stick around and see if things change, perhaps you could reach out to the moderators who have messaged you about your posts to ask for clarification about the issue and see if there is anything you could approach differently without devaluing your opinion.

Regardless of what you decide to do, know that TeenHelp will always be here for you.

Take care,

wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
RiviŤre Offline
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Re: Offended and leaving - November 4th 2017, 04:04 PM

Don't apologise for how you're feeling. It's understandable that you feel unhappy with what has happened. No one really likes receiving a message from the moderation team telling us we've done something wrong. Having been part of the moderation team here at TeenHelp I can honestly say to you that it is not the intention of any moderator that they will have wished to cause you upset in any shape or form. That said, it is their duty, as it is on any forum, to uphold the rules that site has provided and it wouldn't be right for them to simply not tell you of what they feel you are 'doing wrong' for lack of a better word. If they don't tell you, you won't know and if you don't know, you won't have the opportunity to adapt. As Sammi has said, you can always message the moderation team asking them to clarify what it is that you shouldn't be doing, ask them for examples if it helps.

In addition, while declining to meet with your counsellor and/or psychiatrist is your decision, retaining the idea that they can 'fix' you is not the best way to go. Nobody can really 'fix' another individual. They are professionals designed to give you the tools to help you, but they cannot fix you. Unfortunately that's something you're going to have to do yourself, and you can only progress and improve to 'fix' yourself if you put the time and energy into doing so, regardless of how difficult it may be.

Life is for living, not for losing.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Offended and leaving - November 4th 2017, 10:52 PM


I just want you to know that just because the moderation team has messaged you about concerns, it does not mean that they don't feel that you belong or that they do not like your posts. And, you do, actually give some really thoughtful advice.

If you do not agree with the decision that was made, then you can submit a dispute. The disputes committee will take the facts into account and determine if the action was appropriate. They are an unbiased group of people who do their best to only look at the facts such as what the Terms of Service say. Here is a link to Submit a dispute.

I hope that you will reconsider leaving. I do know how it can be upsetting to receive a message from the moderation team but I assure you our intention is not to silence you or make you feel badly.

Best regards,

|Lead Moderator|Newsletter Officer|
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Disclosure. Offline
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Re: Offended and leaving - November 5th 2017, 04:36 AM

I'm sorry that you feel like that.

We'll always be here if you need anything.

  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Celyn Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Offended and leaving - November 5th 2017, 02:50 PM

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way, but you don't need to apologise for how you feel. You are definitely welcome to stay at TeenHelp, but I do understand if you want to leave and have some time away.

It definitely sounds like you have struggled a lot and while it's your decision to decline meeting with your counsellor, maybe consider meeting with your counsellor another time- you deserve the support and help to allow you to live your life being able to deal with your diagnoses rather than suffering from them.

Take care

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Feel free to PM me! Even if I canít help, Iím always going to listen <3

  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Offended and leaving - November 5th 2017, 03:23 PM

Hey there, I am sorry you are feeling this way. I have seen several of your posts and while it may seem like it's coming across as diagnosing people, I don't think that is your intentions at all. Perhaps you can ask the moderators how you can better word the advice you give people so it doesn't sound like you are diagnosing them. If the moderator(s) didn't give an adequate explanation, feel free to submit a dispute. We all want to make sure everyone feels welcomed on TeenHelp, despite the type of advice they give and how it may come across.

But it's ultimately up to you to decide what you want to do. I hope you will reconsider and instead, as I said, reach out to a Mod or PA for advice on how you can better word your advice so it doesn't sound like you are diagnosing other users. We're all here to help one another and that's exactly what you're trying to do.

I hope you get the help you need. Don't say you can't be helped, because there's always some help for everyone, no matter how long it may take. Please take care of yourself and we'll be here when you are ready to return.
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Offended and leaving - November 5th 2017, 04:30 PM

Hey there, Del.

Iím sorry to hear that youíre offended and leaving the site. We certainly donít want you to leave and I will miss having you around. Iíve seen your advice in several different areas of the site and thought you gave well thought out responses. If you disagree with the decision made by the moderators, you can submit a dispute.

TeenHelp is a place where everyone can fit in no matter who they are. I understand why youíre leaving but I hope that you decide to return one day.

On another note, you deserve help and I hope that you do decide to meet with your counsellor and take care of yourself. Your counsellor can help you learn to cope with your diagnoses and live life to the fullest because you deserve to be happy.
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Golfing girl Offline
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Re: Offended and leaving - November 6th 2017, 01:25 AM

I'm sorry you're having a hard time right now. I wish you the best with everything. I hope you will be ok. Lots of hugs.
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