Leaving

I'm leaving the site. There's a lot that went into it. I made mistakes (a ton and I wish I could go back and fix them) but I was tired of seeing right wing rhetoric, bigotry and transphobia allowed even by myself.

My biggest mistake was not speaking out sooner but I didn't have the spoons. Hell I still don't have the spoons. I'm currently at a place where a psych hospital stay would help regulate me but I don't have the leave and FMLA runs out in like 3 days and then I have to pay 1k for my premium which doesn't include other bills.

I had a lot of pent up anger over that and might not have always expressed myself eloquently. I think my best friend did a better job of that. But no matter what I did I was shut down and certain transphobic phrasing angered me more.

We all make mistakes and I wish TH mistakes hadn't led to me leaving but even if they are able to make the changes (which I hope they do for current and future users) I can not stay.

I'm sure I lost people over this and I don't know that I care sure. It hurts but speaking out and doing the right thing to combat passive bigotry is more important. Plus, pretty much everyone in my life is LGBTQIA and I was angered thinking that these are the things they experience and are shot down for.

The intent probably wasn't malicious but idk that passive bigotry is ever malicious in nature. The thing that led to me leaving was when I was told that banning talks of JK Rowling (which I clarified I simply meant th hosting events surrounded by her world ) meant that we would have to ban discussion surrounding transphobia.

This angered me more than anything else and was the point where I knew I needed to let go of my savior complex which is why i stayed. I saw what was going on and thought by staying I could help others be safe. I ignored my own feelings of being unsafe.

What I'll say is that I did the right thing. I am sure I angered people but as my best friend put it "You had a lot of pent up anger and weren't always as eloquent". They are correct and if I could do it again I would be more eloquent but I'm not sure it would matter.

I'm not angry anymore and on a positive note th saved my life and I believe if they can resolve the current issues they could be around for a long time to help save others. Without TH I wouldn't be here and for that I will always look fondly on my memories here. This was just a blip among a ton of positive experiences.

I have asked them to delete my account, posts, blogs and articles so this will disappear but I wanted to give an explanation as to why I left and why it was so abruptly.

All organizations have their issues but if they work to change they can get better and my hope is that th will work to change. I like to think that they want to change because the majority of staff are kind hearted individuals. Maybe in a few years I'll come by and see the changes and be proud that I was part of the site.

I wish it hadn't taken me leaving or another person leaving but I also wish I had spoken up sooner. This will forever be my biggest regret no matter the reason. I know lack of spoons and my continued battle with feeling like my voice doesn't matter were a contributing factor but I should have done more. I walked away from this knowing that in future instances I will use my voice louder and more eloquently.

I'll be good. I'm working on accomplishing my dreams and I walked away with my best friend. No matter who or what else I lost, that is the greatest gift of TH.

I wish TH the best. It has so many good features and I'd love to see it expand. I used to want to be part of that expansion but I know and have known for some time I'm not meant to be.

Take care everyone.

[Ennui.]

I'll miss seeing you around for sure. Weird to see you in regular color, and soon not at all, but I definitely understand. <3

I'll miss seeing you around here so much, you have been an amazing mentor and support when it comes to my concerns or asking for advice. You never got short with me or impatient, no matter how overwhelmed you were or how low you were running on spoons. Thank you for everything you have done, and not only for me; but for the site.

I'll miss seeing you on here. We still have one another on social media. <3

[eaty]

I’m sorry to see you go, but I know this will be best for you. I wish you the best in life. I’ll miss seeing you around and chatting. I hope you do return someday, but no rush. You have bigger and better things to do.

Take care.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I'll miss seeing you around. I wish you the best and hope you will be okay.

[Dawn.]

I'm sorry to see you go. Please take care of yourself and stay safe.

[Celyn]

Really sad you're leaving, though I understand your decision. It's good to know that you can still take away something positive from this- TeenHelp helped you when you needed it the most and you have forged a strong friendship with your best friend. You still have plenty of fond memories to look back on!

I also wanted to take the time to thank you for the times that you have been there for me, personally, too

If you ever decided to come back, you'll be more than welcome to!

[Rika]

Sorry to see you go. Best of luck in whatever you decide to do.

[Silvan]

Wishing you the best of luck, Jenna. Take care!

[Storyteller.]

Sorry to see you go. Feel free to PM/DM on Discord if you want to keep in touch. I wish you all the best.

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]

Originally Posted by Wingless.

Sorry to see you go. Feel free to PM/DM on Discord if you want to keep in touch. I wish you all the best.

Thank you. Leaving is best but wanted to come back to say that you are one of the few people that has had a lasting impact. Personal issues surrounding bigotry led to my choice but th still saved my life and you are one relationship I will remember as helping. I don't check the site much and am waiting for total deletion of my account but wanted to come by and respond to you due to your impact in my health and wellbeing[/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font]

[Rob]

Hi everyone,

As this post makes a number of accusations against TeenHelp, we feel it is fair to issue a response on behalf of the Project Co-ordinators to provide both sides.

Firstly we want to say a thank you for your contribution to the site, we will always be grateful for your hard work and dedication over years.

In an effort to be more transparent we would like to clarify a couple of points which have been misconstrued. It has been stated that we shut down or silenced individuals, this is not the case and we have invited those involved to speak to us, share their ideas and even lead on implementing them if they wish. There have also been a couple of comments which have been portrayed as coming from the Project Co-ordinators when these have in fact come from other members on the site and do not represent our views.

These concerns were brought to our attention only a few weeks ago and we are working hard to address them - we need the time to consider them fully. We have invited members to work with us so we can better understand what happened, seek views and explore solutions. We want to emphasize that no decision has been made yet and this post implies that ideas have already been rejected which is not the case. How we work is just as important as what we do. We are rooted in values and there is an expectation that everyone, especially staff, follows these and when these are not lived in practice, we will address this.

We are encouraged by the feedback we have received so far but we know there is still work to be done to make this site welcoming and inclusive. We want to create the best possible experience for you while using our services and we cannot do this without your involvement. We have a wide range of ways you can contribute include:

• Become a volunteer – TH was built on people working together on these things
• Suggestions
• Complaints process
• Feedback forms – Such as for our action plan, content or volunteers forms
• Surveys 1-2 times per year
• Speak to a Project Co-ordinator or Team Leader in the Forums or Chat Room

If you have ways to improve TeenHelp for our trans community, please take a look at this thread: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f8-lg...ans-community/

TeenHelp is here for YOU and we want you all to feel safe to express yourselves, so we would like to invite you to let us know if you have any ideas and suggestions for improvements. Let's help shape the future of TeenHelp together.

The Project Coordinators