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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
space ninja Offline
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Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 15th 2010, 09:41 PM

So, so, so meee... um. If a crazy girl in a bookstore somewhere shouts at you about Bulgakov and tries to draw a moustache on your face, thatís me. My name be Artemisia. If you laugh, I will kick you in the goolies. I am short. I unofficially have a napoleon complex, so get your jokes in here. My friends call me an ankle biter. It doesnít help that Iíve known my best friend since my parents moved to the UK when I was five. He was my next door neighbour. When the parents were enjoying coffee (be it irish or not) and all that, he was chasing me with a fish slice. I bit him. Never, uh, quite lived that down. Anyway. Onwards and upwards. Artemisia. Not fond of Art, but I guess Iím quite the work of Art. Ha! If it were by Picasso. Most call me Misa, Or Artie. Or Mia. Or whatever. I donít like Missy. Before I rant, I should say Ďhií. Good evening, ladies and gents. Or good night. Or whatever. Nice to meet you. Iím awful at introductions.

Anyway, my life. Iím bipolar. I have singularly low self esteem. Iím not asexual, but damn near close. I can taste words. Itís not arbitrary. Every word has a taste. It really annoys me that nobody agrees with me that the word ĎHalloweení tastes pretty awesome, but then again, everyoneís different. I am nineteen years old. Iím named after the woman who built the Mausoleum, one of the seven wonders of the Ancient world. Seriously. My mother trawled name books for my name and I was very nearly something else, but then she came across Artemisia, and really loved it. Try being eight and called Artemisia. Seriously. To this day, I get called Fartemisia a lot, so I guess you lucky, lucky people can as well. Iím one of a twinset. I have an older twin brother called Aleksandar . He went off and studied elsewhere, but he still visits me and we get smashed and he creases over and tells people to call me Fartemisia. Unfortunately they donít seem to get it at all. I am a student, by the way. Studying physics. Cos I am that cool. Iím AB- bloodtype, half Croatian, half Lebanese, born in Dubrovnik (like a frightening amount of people Iíve recently met), one of five Ė three older brothers including my twin and one younger sister, born on the thirteenth of April, which....eeeehhh...apparently makes me an Aries? God knows what that means. Hold on, baby. Iíll wiki it. Uh. Okay. That didnít help. God help me, Iím a scientist. Although I have a major thing for philosophers (Iíd marry the modern day Socrates), and I love philosophy, Iím a scientist. I donít go in for astronomy. Which is funny, cos I love just about everything else.

I hate introductions. I hate talking about myself. I love talking about ideas and beliefs, but Iím a pretty boring person. I work in a bookstore. If a crazy girl in some hole in the wall bookstore shouts about Bulgakov at you, it might well be me. Le Fart. My hobbies also include dying in zombie shooting games, being paranoid about the undead (it doesnít help that for yeaaars, I lived opposite a cemetery), drinking beer, watching horror films and farting in the direction of the men in my life, cos I am just that sexy. Drawing on the faces of sleeping people. Drawing moustaches on the faces of all and sundry, myself included. Making a beard out of post-its. Dressing up as one of the three muskateers. Wearing neon clothing and an awesome sequined ringmaster styled purple jacket. Shouting about philosophy. Twitching. Collecting house bricks (Iímma build a house some day). Collecting frog figurines. Collecting un-PC chess sets. Soviets vs Nazis, yo! Shouting about zombies and evil zombie capitalists (dude, I come from ex-Yugoslavia. Iím no communist, I just hate all politicians equally, but capitalism super-grinds-my-gears). Shouting at people in Russian. Sticking straws to my teeth and pretending to be a vampire. Being horrifically messy. Being gassy. Cooking, even though I can only cook massive birthday cakes, pancakes, omelettes and the most spectacularly hot curry that will ever nuke your lower digestive tract. Other than that, Iím useless. I can burn cereal. Um, um. Saying um a lot. Eastern European techno/metal/cheese rock dance spectaculars in my underwear around my bedroom. Sleeping. Getting lost in foreign cities and enjoying the hell out of it. investigating. Pretending to be a sleuth from a noir murder mystery film and talking out of the corner of my mouth and darting around corners. Pretending to be a ghost buster. Hey! I have more hobbies than I realised!

Things I love! Um. Foodwise. Aubergine (I have never met anyone else who even likes aubergine), anything obscenely spicy, sushi and liquorice. I have an undying hatred of chocolate and strawberry flavoured things. I love every fruit apart from kiwis, strawberries, and that satan of food, bananas. Also asparagus! Haha! And broccoli. I really love green veg. Iím a freak.HHH Musicwise, I like what I like. Iím largely a death/black metal kiddo. Yes, very different, but I like them both. I also like hilarious Russian cheese rock and classical music, and...general stuff. I love randomness. Itís my calling in life. Books, Iíll read just about anything. Massive Twilight hater. Hate me! No, I just donít like it. I like fantasy and sci-fi, Adams and the very unfortunately named Phil K. Dick. Poor Dicky. Massively adore Bradbury. Orwell! Braddsies and Orwellies defined my adolescence. Fahrenheit 451 Ė fell in love with it, on holiday, visiting my grandparents, reading it in their kitchen. Best summer of my life, and Iíll always remember that book. Huge Pratchett fanatic. Also love Stephen King, especially his fantasy stuff, that Dark Tower series? Epic. Both seem like legends in their own right, so I love them for that. Love Cthulhu, although Lovecraft was a tool. Fiiilmmms... anything beautiful and escapist and bittersweet. I adore Panís Labyrinth. Also love horror films, but the cheesy, funny, 80s type. Freddy Krueger. Ha. Canít love these modern horror films. The remakes make me cry. Donít fix what ainít broke. All that. Spirited Away? Love that. That kind of semi-childlike fantasy completely kicks arse. TV Ė anything that makes me laugh. God, the Devil and Bob, Invader Zim, the good episodes of the Simpsons, Futurama on so many levels. Huge Futurama fan. 90s TV programs, bad sitcoms, and brilliance such as the IT crowd and the Big Bang Theory and all that. Brainfluff, but hilarious brainfluff. The kind of brainfluff that made me do the Ďhellzyah!í dance when I realised Futurama was making a return. <3 Webcomics! Ugly hill, Alien loves predator, Dr McNinja, Red Meat, all that. Animals, I love animals. Cats, especially, including big cats, walruses, lizards, iguanas, polecats and red pandas and otters. Anything small, fluffy (or scaley), will make me squee. Also the colours green and indigo pwn you, but not together, and mainly green. And orange. And I love inspirational people, and Tesla, who was crazy and awesome in that order. And when it rains slightly at the end of a massively hot summerís day. And science. And technology. And the smell of snow. And snowdays, where the familyís all home (like we had here in England this January, massssive snow!). And obscure mythology. And getting pissed and staggering home with your best ever bestest friend, feeling that the worldís all right again and nothing horrible will happen again, ever. And caffeine highs. And generally being on top of the world. And pulling things apart to see how they work. And crazy, random, insane funny things parents come out with in trippy moments. And getting semi-pissed on hotel balconies in foreign countries with my family and playing gin rummy and beer. Really, logically, sometimes I have a lot to live for :3

Things I hate include the taste of milky tea, any kind of chocolate, hard candy which cuts your mouth, cotton wool, roses, nail varnish remover, polystyrene, polystyrene cups, having to wrestle with polystyrene, having that whole undignified trying on ill-fitting underwear moment (I say this because thatís what I spent today thinking), the fact that I come from two cultures ultimately predisposed towards self destruction (come onnnn, Yugoslav and Lebanese?! Recent history makes me think Ďwhat a crap mixí, but Iím optimistic), lamb and duck as food, carb-heavy meals, anything cola flavoured, Ayn Rand, holidays where all people do is sleep, scrw and tan, monotony, stagnation, relationships, people I adore being under my feet all the time, the idea of getting a job and just being another drone. Cheese. Goats. Preachy films. Stupid writers who shout their mouths off about things even they donít understand Ė take Martin Amis for an example. Vanilla flavoured things. The smell of lavender. People who donít get how amazing random conversations are. Yo-yos. Insects. People who think my political and sociological views mean that we canít be friends (for example, my best friend and I completely disagree on the whole White Nationals in South Africa thing. I would still die for that barstoorrl. I would be bored if we agreed on everything. Individuality makes us great).

So now Iíll shut up. I talk a lot for a person who professes to hate talking about themselves. I like people to get the full flavour of who I am in first meeting. It never works in person, but maybe this will. Sorry for any repetition or grammatical mistakes, Iím a bit sweeeepy at the moment. I thought that, at this moment in my life, where I am so conflicted and so irritatingly lonely at university, in my second year, this might be the place to begin? :3 If you agree with me, if you disagree with me, who cares? Talk avec moi.

Yay!


~ Fart

PS: I also very much adore ninjas. And space. Hence the name! :3

Last edited by space ninja; February 15th 2010 at 09:49 PM. Reason: title annoyed me
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 15th 2010, 09:53 PM

Um.
Can I adopt you? Pleaseee?!
You're quite possibly the coolest person ever. EVER.
Seriously. I'm not even joking.
Oh and welcome to TH, by the way!
You're so cool. O.O

P.S POWER TO THE TWILIGHT HATERS
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 15th 2010, 10:03 PM

Wow...I have to say that's the most awesome introduction I've read in a while, and I read every thread that comes through here, due to modding the forum n stuff ^^;
It's really cool actually, I see what you mean, since I can now totally picture you as a person and stuff.
Oh, anyways, I'm Janos, pleased to meet you ^_^. And I just have to say, your name is so beautiful ^^. And your mother definitely had an awesome sense of taste in picking it out in that manner, in my humble opinion.
And damn, I have to say, you sound so cool ^_^.

I'm doing Games Design at uni, up in Dundee, in Scotland, and it's gotten to the point where I have dreams of potential level concepts...so go me >.>

I'm also a member of staff here at TeenHelp, I've been here for four years now.., it's a great place, and I'm sure you'll love it too. =).
So yeah, I'm looking forward to getting to know you and stuff, and catching you around. So if you have any questions whatsoever, be sure to ask me, 'kay? =)

Oh, and since you like animals( yay for reptiles), sci-fi and fantasy, you're automatically Awesome Squared (I can't remember the alt code for the proper character, and I can't be bothered looking it up at this moment in time >.> )




"My one desire is for peace -- peace for everyone"

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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 15th 2010, 10:46 PM

Yay! I have replies! I had a comment all written out, and then my computer crashed, and cry I did. Enough with the freaky grammar constructions. They're okay enough if you're Golum. Anyway, I love you both for replying :3. I adore that smilie thing. It looks like it's munching something, which makes me happy. Unlike the dollar sign smilie if you get carried away with the shift key and end up with a :£, which a bit freakish, like a vampire, only not the cool Bela Lugosi vampire, but the freakish orthodontist-ly deprived kind of vampire... which gives me an idea for a Halloween costume...

Nicola - merci beaucoup. I'm a French mood. But I'm seriously uncool. You can adopt me if you like : P - prepare for e-biting. Ha! Twilight is seriously awful. I love people who agree with me on this. I know so many Twilight lovers, but we Twilight haters are lamentably rare. I wonder why? I mean, come on, I either want munchy, bitey vampires or Bela Lugosi vampires! Not sparkly morons in a tree! Bah! Nobody reinvents a genre by making everything glittery! : P

Quintessence - I love your username! Q words are awesome! Like...anything involving Q, like Q-tip (I only recently figured what one of those damn things are. A COTTON BUD?! Talk about anti-climax!), or, or, ubiquitous or queue or something. I completely disagree on the whole Artemisia thing. Since discovering that whole Tallulah-does-the-Hula-from-Hawaii thing, I am inclined towards believing that there are more sadistic parents than mine, but being eight and an Artemisia is not great : P Scotland is awesome, despite me going there....once? Dude, I sound thick. But generally, I've been there once and had a nice time, so I guess that counts for something? I think we stayed in a hotel and I was happy cos my father bought me cool socks. Yes, I am detestable : P And seriously, design a zombie game I can win one day? I hate being beaten by the undead!

ARGH! And reptile love! I love lizards, but... I have a friend with a ball python, and they are soooo swwwwweeeettttt. Snakes are such sweet animals too, way too under-appreciated. Lizards are my thing, though. I remember getting my neighbour's pet gecko (Hieronymus. I mean, who wouldn't pay to see a gecko named Hieronymus?) to climb up their staircase. Mucho reptile love. Also... what could be better than fantasy/ sci-fi? Ha! I mock the attempts at better and more cool sci-fi than normal sci-fi books! :3
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 15th 2010, 11:10 PM

Well....Welcome to TeenHelp!! That is probably the longest greatest epicest introduction we have seen. haha. My name is Briana and if you ever need anything we are all here to help you out! I hope to see you around soon.


"We accept the love we think we deserve."
"In that moment, I swear, we were Infinite."
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and a We in Wellness."
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 15th 2010, 11:28 PM

Hi. Come into chat plz. We should talk.
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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 15th 2010, 11:46 PM

Winningest intro ever. Welcome to TeenHelp!

I'm Jes or Jessie. Not Jessica, not Jess (I'll bite your ankles if you spell it wrong ). I'm an English freak. Which means I write, but not about things I don't understand. I'm Staff here on TH and I've been on the site nearly five years. All-in-all you could probably say I need a life. I spend a lot of time in the Chat Room, maybe I'll run into you sometime. Feel free to drop me a line whenever.

P.S. Pirates pwn ninjas.



Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us.
I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 16th 2010, 03:02 AM

I can't believe I read all that
Welcome to the site! You seem like a pretty awesome person, so we should talk sometime!! My name is Kac..it's nice to "meet" you. I love your name!!

I'm a Buddy here, so feel free to let me know if you need anything at all!!


There is always hope. PM me anytime.
SH Free since 10.20.08
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 16th 2010, 05:55 AM

Wow, that is by far the best intro thread I have seen in the 16 months I've been here. I was caught by the title then even moreso by thread itself. Epic.

But, anyway, welcome to TeenHelp. My name is Cody. I'm a major metalhead. I like death metal moreso than black, but both are good. Doom metal is my favorite of all time though, especially the New Orleans Sludge/Doom scene (<3 Crowbar, Down, Corrosion of Conformity, Acid Bath, Eyehategod). What bands are you into? As far as death metal goes, I like Kataklysm alot right now. Morbid Angel, Death and Cryptopsy are also some of my favorites. Well, and Gothenburg-styls bands, In Flames and At The Gates are good. Anaal Nathrakh is probably my favorite black metal. But I could discuss metal music for hours, so I'll spare everyone and stop now

Also, I just wanted to say, Red Meat is amazing, ninjas rock and I love zombie games. My favorite movie of all time is actually Zombieland

But I'm tired, so I'll stop there for now. Anyway, if you have any questions about the site or ever want to talk, PM me anytime.

Take care =]


~Cody

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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 16th 2010, 08:54 AM

Heyyyyyy! I'm Megan and I'm another buddy here.
Welcome to TH! And oh I just love your intro. Tis quite epic.
Anyway if you ever need anything feel free to PM/VM me anytime and I'll be happy to help.


Come on boys, come on girls
In this crazy, crazy world
Youíre the diamonds, youíre the pearls
Letís make a new tomorrow
Come on girls, come on boys
Itís your future, itís your choice
And your weapon is your voice
Letís make a new tomorrow
Today
follow me please. I'll follow back. http://photographicjournal.tumblr.com/
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 16th 2010, 12:18 PM

Oh my word. awesomest intro ever! And I've read alot of intro's 0_____o
Hahaaa. I'm Jess, but you know that already. I just felt like saying hai again. Because I'm blatantly awesome like that

I feel I should tell you a little about meeee. I'm Jess. Just Jess. Not Jes, Jessie, and defianatly not Jessica I like music, politics and reading. I read alot 0_o I live in the UK, where it is always cold and normally raining. I plan on going to university sometime in the distant future. I'm 14, but in my mind I'm older on a good day, and about three years old on a bad day. Yeh. That's all I have time for now xD

Stay cool. I'll s'laters =D


~Jess x
17|10|09

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That's where you'll find me
   
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 16th 2010, 03:10 PM

All I have to say to that is wow xD
Welcome to TeenHelp! PM me if you need anything at all
Take care
Brittany



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stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.Ē


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  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 16th 2010, 04:11 PM

Wow! Wlcome to TH, I'm Jodie and i hope you enjoy your time here with us if you need anything just pm me or other members




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I'm begging you baby don't leave me out here on my own I'll die, If you don't hold me tight Tonight, I couldn't make it outside If I tried, So please let me in lover,
Be kind ♥
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 16th 2010, 06:56 PM

Woahhhhh
Welcome to TeenHelp!
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T LIKE CHOCOLATE! We'll have to work on that.
Maybe I'll stuff some chocolate down your throat when your not looking. Just kidding!
Yeah I suck at zombie killing games too so I'm always dying. It's more fun to die a billion times then to win.
Anyway, my name is Alessa and I'm another buddy here. My hobbies include snowboarding, rockband, playing the drums, and volunteering.
You may want to read through the stickies in this forum as they will help you learn about all the features here and such.
If you need anything at all feel free to let me know.
Hope to see ya around,
Alessa


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
   
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 17th 2010, 10:51 PM

Epic intro...and title...just. Epic. xD Welcome =]


But in the end, the most important thing to accept is that no matter how alone you feel, how painful it may be, with the help of those around you, you'll get through this too.
   
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 27th 2010, 04:35 PM

Thank you for replying, everyone! :3 I've managed to get myself a minor lung infection and have been pretty ill this week. Plus my new doctor's finally worked out that there's something really wrong about what's going on there, so I've had fun tests and have more to look after. The medical profession are saints, aren't they? : P

Anyway...

Briana: longest? Haha. I have verbal diarreah! Nice imagery there, nice...

Andruiel: Send me a message thingy if you're ever around and want to chat :3
Same for everyone. Actually.

Asylum: I love writers <3 I am a huge writer geek. I can do descriptions and pretty words, but I never seem to get plot ideas, which is a complete git, if you ask me. Still, I'm not a born author, I guess : P And nooooooooo, ninjas are so much better! Also, as I'm led to believe, space pirates have already been done? And so is Space Hitler, I believe. Can't remember where I learnt that concept. And kind of, but not really, space zombies? I mean, that would be epic in itself. Zombies in space! So really, ninjas are the only mindshatteringly epic entity not to make their way into space to my knowledge, which makes me very, very sad :3

TheNumber42: It was better than 'hi'? :P I actually love 98% of metal. I have a soft spot for Behemoth, cos that was the first metal band I heard. I'm kind of looking for a new favourite though. I love all those cliche death metal and black metal bands - you know, the really obvious names. I also love In Flames, only the old stuff. Some of the old stuff was pretty lame, but most, regardless of all these issues (I have this friend who swears blind In Flames (old) never played their own instruments and they were just conforming, but who cares?) is pretty good. I love Dark Tranquillity. I mean, mainly old stuff, but anything they churn out tends to be at least okay. They're part of what I like to call pretty-lame-cheese-metal! My guilty secret. They make such pretty music. I actually think that they're better than In Flames. I have a couple of hardcore In Flames friends who I converted from pop-music to IF, and they just don't accept that DT is brilliance in itself, but...eh... Oooh, and Kalmah, they're Scandinavian too? Also not my kind of thing, typically, but some of their stuff is so pretty-cheese-metal. I mean, I think they're very melodeath, but I think I actually like anything from any metal genre. I think it's mainly since uni that I've become very much more broad minded about metal. Because revising listening to black metal is actually quite difficult. It's just that I classically love black metal. That was the music of my adolescence. Even though I realise my tastes have become soooo lame... anyway, Hate Eternal isn't bad. Nile is my death metal weakness. They can be unexpectedly good. Enthroned are very good. Satryicon. Never like that cliched spew that Dimmu Borgir come out with. I can be a bit mean about music, despite knowing very little : P Never thought DB to be proper metal, really. Gorgoroth. And Oceans. Drautran. Um. Black Metal Radio (blackmetalradio . com) is a good place to listen sometimes. Still, I do appreciate At the Gates and Morbid Angel, a recent development, but they're pretty good. Yeah. I'm a freak. Not good at music talk, but talk if
you want to sometime? :3

Annnnd! Red Meat makes me laugh so, so, so, so, so, so much! It is so my cracked out sense of humour! I really love it. The guy who makes it must be some kind of genius. I massively love the evil milkman, he is brilliance in himself. Ninjas are amazing, and although I'm slightly paranoid about them, so are zombies. Although I'm now kind-of-on-probation on the subject of watching zombie flicks, isn't zombieland the one with the 'double tap!' bit? And the bit where someone in the beginning gets munched on a public loo. I now know to shoot zombies twice and never frequent public loos. Ahhhh, I'm too obsessed.

Jess: Blatant awesomeness is the best! How else would people know? : P But Jessica is a nice naaameee... I've always though stereotypically British names were nice. Jessica is very pretty. To me, it sounds quite exotic! I grew up with a very unusual name in all cultures... ew. And lives are overrated! Or not, but, eh, I'm a very lame person : P My jokes aren't jokes. And don't you love rain? : P Southern or northern? As an almost-ex-almost-Yugoslav I was told the north/south divide was important. Haha! : P I've never really gone to the north. I don't really know what it's like. And dude, you're my opposite. On a good day, I have the mental age of 8 and on a bad day, I have the cynicism and misanthropy and weariness of a 89-year-old.

Alessa: Noooo! Chocolate is gross! Especially white chocolate! And all chocolate! Bleugh! I wish more people agreed with me : P My old friends are always offering me chocolate and I'm like 'ewww, no', and I always look a freak. You will never convince me! Chocolate = evil. And do you dare bury me in satan's foodstuff when I'm not looking? : P Haha! Zombie killing games are evil-awesome, because I die. A lot. I'm like -splat-. Zombies are like -chomp-. Not good. I aaaaaalways lose. Hence my love of zombie carnage, cos it's rare : P I've never learnt to snowboard. I have a pathological fear of snow!

Yale: Thank you : ) I wish I could be awesome in person. Fail! I am no tv comedian. Epic is a rather epic word, isn't it. Much love for the word 'epic'!

Thank all you lovely people for replying : ) Message me if you wanna chat. Itíd be epic!
   
  (#17 (permalink)) Old
Thurineth Offline
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 27th 2010, 04:39 PM

wow. Just wow!!


welcome
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  (#18 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 28th 2010, 07:03 PM

OMGSH
Non-chocolate lovers FTW! Its disgusting beurgh.. having said that I have never tasted it so couldn't really tell you its disgusting just assuming, but I am allergic to it so there. Point proven its disgusting!
I have come to the epic conclusion that you are probably as mad as I am therefore that also makes you as cool as I am.
Ohai my name is Ellie and I be a buddy here.
Sendo uno PM if you needo any helpo! Capicho?

LALALA!
   
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Re: Distress signal from an intergalactic turnip ! - February 28th 2010, 10:33 PM

Wow, that was the longest introduction I've ever seen! Well, welcome and let me know if you need help at all.
   
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