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Self Expression Poems, stories, artwork and similar creations are great ways to let out your thoughts or feelings. Please share your work with us here!

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Desolate Offline
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[Poem] The Final Moments - May 19th 2009, 12:09 PM

The Final Moments
Written May 19th 2009

The unforgiving sun pierces my dark room through a
solitary window.
A searing light tortures my night-adjusted eyes and renews
a surrounding glow.
Shimmering red snakes dance across my freshly
wounded skin.
And though it feels good and right, for me, I know
I cannot win.
Alas, my eyes have finally dried and in sight,
there's no oasis.
My life is all that remains, and I promise that
I can't take this.
As moments pass the glimmer shines off metal and
catches my eye.
A shiver crawls along my spine as I know my time
is growing neigh.
Crimson snakes turn into rivers and soon to
unending oceans.
I ponder on past and what could have been before
I have no motion...

---
Author's Notes:

I chose this format to stress the rhyme and bring emphasis to the final words in each verse.
I guess writing poetry is one of my ways of avoiding SH.
Any comments are appreciated, thank you.



   
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egirl_was_left Offline
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Re: [Poem] The Final Moments - May 19th 2009, 04:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Desolate View Post
My life is all that remains, and I promise that
I can't take this.

...
I ponder on past and what could have been before
I have no motion...
I just wanted to say I think this is a really great poem, and it's good that you find it an alternative to SH. These are my favourite bits - although the imagery of the snakes is a really interesting idea too - I like the ambiguity in these lines.

Keep it up, I look forward to reading more
E xx
   
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Christinaa317o8 Offline
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Re: [Poem] The Final Moments - May 20th 2009, 11:45 PM

I loved it and the format is really cool


Love is all we need. :]
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