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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
roseegirl Offline
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I believe - April 20th 2017, 07:26 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I believe saying goodbye is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. Everyone must say goodbye at some point in their life. It’s the pain I wish upon no one, yet, I believe its part of life. At the time, I thought “It’s over” could be one the hardest things you can say to someone you loved. Soon, I learned that it was not even close.

I remember sitting in my room as I was looking at picture of Alex and I. We looked happy. We didn’t want to be anywhere else but with each other. I wanted that back — the happiness. I just said those two simple words as he left for a trip: “It’s over.” My heart hurt because I hurt him. I wanted him back so I could say I was sorry. I locked myself in my room wanting the week over so I could fix everything. Slowly, the days turned to Friday. I sat in my room with my black headphones in my ears as I listened to a slow, sad song. I finally got the call from my best friend saying, “You need to get dressed, I am sitting outside, it’s an emergency”. I could remember my heart skipping a beat, and I could feel a pit in my stomach as if a boulder dropped to the bottom. I rushed out the door barely knowing what was going on. As I entered the car, we headed north; she told me Alex was in hospital.

Once she said those words, I could feel this pain in my heart; I couldn’t even respond to her. We pulled up to the hospital. I quickly jumped out of the car before it stopped. I took a deep breath and ran into the waiting room. As soon as I did, his family walked out the emergency room doors. They looked at me and said, “He’s gone,” . At that moment, my heart felt like it was ripping out of my body; I could see all my memories flooding back as if it was like a flipbooks of my past. The only thing that repeated in my mind was “It’s over.” I began to regret my words. I ended things on a bad note and never told him that I loved him. As we started his funeral, I was mad at myself for not saying goodbye.
Everyone kept telling me that if I put everything of his away, it would be closure. I tried, but it made everything harder. That’s when I realized saying goodbye was hard but not getting to say goodbye was even harder.

I believe not saying goodbye is the hardest thing. It creates this idea of regret that plays in back of your mind. You could have said something different the last time you saw him, could have told him you were sorry, or you could’ve told him you loved him. That day, I learned how a simple word could have the weight of the world, but even worse, I learned just how hard it is to say goodbye.

Last edited by roseegirl; April 20th 2017 at 07:41 AM.
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Re: I believe - April 20th 2017, 10:25 AM

Wow. I think this is a really well written paper! Well done!
Thanks for sharing

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Re: I believe - April 20th 2017, 12:15 PM

You are super good at descriptions!

Let it come and let it be...

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Re: I believe - April 20th 2017, 09:16 PM

I loved reading this. Such amazing work.

“You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.”

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roseegirl Offline
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Re: I believe - April 21st 2017, 02:32 AM

Thanks guy! Thats very sweet of you guys!
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Re: I believe - April 22nd 2017, 08:01 PM

I really enjoyed reading this and I like your use of descriptions.

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Re: I believe - April 24th 2017, 12:35 AM

I really liked the progression in this, how it starts out with the thought that saying goodbye is the hardest thing before exploring why that may not be true. Thank you for sharing, and I hope to see more of your work here soon.

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