Triggering: just another tool for you

NeuroBeautiful · **just another tool for you -** February 11th 2018, 04:58 PM

i am another tool in your toolshed
Some days i get taken out and shown a little love
i am told praises of how useful i am; how helpful i have been to them
Other days i am not so lucky; i don't see the sunlight at all
i get rusty; A layer of dust starts to form

i am another tool in your toolshed
But i come with special perks;
When i don't do something exactly as you wished
You yell at me to listen more and i hurry to try and fix it

When you are having a hard day, you can come to me to talk
i hear your worries, the things that bother you most,
i try to help problem solve and find something that works.

When you throw your frustrations at me,
i let it all hit me, one or more at at time.
i want to stand up to you but i make sure to hold my tongue
i am both your confidante and punching bag
together in one.

You tell me,
how i am rotten and you are ready to finally leave me
Not have to deal with such
a slow, limited, useless piece of junk.
Only a liability,
if only you knew i'd turn out like this,
you'd have gotten rid of me way earlier
Only brings more problems, and takes up room.
You'd get a new one to replace me with.
You will be free
regain your sense of control.

Then in the same breath
You tell me,
you need me to do something for you
last minute,
in the cold
in the rain
be there by 7:30am
wait outside until you're called in
i rush to get it done.

When i start to cry
(hey, that's not what tools are supposed to do!)
You tell me i'm worthless
That you're stuck with me and you're miserable
So flawed, so old, so used up, no one will want me
i definitely won't sell
so i should consider myself lucky
At least you're keeping me in the shed

i am another tool in your toolshed
You told me how the purpose i was created for was to serve you
And how i am doing a terrible job at it.
You try to use me in a new way; for entertainment
You scan me up and down then tell me to turn around
"Now let me see how sexy you are from the back"

When you walk through the doors of the toolshed,
There are tools in boxes, on shelves or hanging up on walls
A hammer, an electric drill, a saw.
some odds and ends,
There is what could have been a human being, by the far corner
It looks like one when you stand it upright
But it can't be because I have been reduced, molded, and refined
i lost the sense of what it is like to be human
and now, what i know best, is how to be
another tool in your toolshed.