Starting from Scratch

[NeuroBeautiful]

How can you do this?

You went on a trip
Left us all alone
No money, no food, barely a home
You took the food stamp card with you
Which you cannot even use while in travel.


How can you do this?
You do not know
I am secretly planning
my escape from this hell
But what if I weren't?
You are willing to let me get so hungry.

With no resources at all
I had to start from scratch
You covered my eyes, while
Convincing me I did not have the ability to see
That there was something wrong with me
Now that I learned to use my eyes, you want to use me

You couldn't wait till I turned 18
Wanting to get rid of me
But you broke me down
For so long, I could not get up
I spent so much time and energy giving you my life
The little ounce of light I had, while I was in darkness
Yet you couldn't stand that I was around;
that I wasn't disposed of fast enough
I was in debt to you for being born, but
I couldn't give you what you wanted.

What am I to do, being born into this world?
You helped create me, my own father.
You thrust the broken pieces back into my arms
Left me all alone in this world to put it back together
What do I do with it? Take it back from me!
I am lost without the chains; the marks feel so empty and strange

I am now starting from scratch,
Removing myself from the battlefield
Finding an escape; a refugee shelter to stay
Relearning what life is about;
Why I am here, what is the purpose
How to be a free human person.

They adore him and follow his footsteps
I wish I did not have to lose them
She calls him, "my angel"
Says he does so much good for us,
She turns to me, calls me a spoiled brat
Barely looking at me, full of disgust

It burns me inside
I've been so distressed trying to survive
Giving myself the love I've been deprived
Slowly learning how beautiful is hope
Running out of resources; Not sure how much longer I can cope
Do I keep choosing life and building myself up?

[Ennui.]

I love the third stanza!

I thought this was well written. I really liked:

I am now starting from scratch,
Removing myself from the battlefield
Finding an escape; a refugee shelter to stay
Relearning what life is about;
Why I am here, what is the purpose
How to be a free human person.

I think you are a talented writer and I can feel the emotion in this. Thank you for sharing. I hope you will continue to do so.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

This was lovely. Lots of hugs.

I liked this:

I am now starting from scratch,
Removing myself from the battlefield
Finding an escape; a refugee shelter to stay
Relearning what life is about;
Why I am here, what is the purpose
How to be a free human person.

And this:

It burns me inside
I've been so distressed trying to survive
Giving myself the love I've been deprived
Slowly learning how beautiful is hope
Running out of resources; Not sure how much longer I can cope
Do I keep choosing life and building myself up?

I can definitely feel the frustration and desperation in this piece of work. Hope you write more soon.