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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
i_am_me_again Offline
I'm A Pyschotic Neurotic.
I can't get enough
*********
 
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Name: Jaymi
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 3,203
Join Date: January 6th 2009

(No Title) - Can I have feedback please? - September 10th 2009, 05:57 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

In the night
The dark comes out
Leaving me unsure
When I see the my moon intact
I fall faint on the floor

Razor blades
And knives alike
Scisscors, scalpols too
I dont think that I will cut
They're just there to get me through

Friends, family
Strangers, pets
All causes anxiety
I dont think that I will cope
Lifes a fantasy

People hit me
I hit back
Anger just to vent
When I feel my blood run hot
A punch you know is sent


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Our lives are like music.
It hits its high and low notes,
But in the end,
It all turns into a perfect melody

Last edited by noise94; September 11th 2009 at 05:09 PM. Reason: Trigger prefix added.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
SpiderHan03 Offline
Living for God
Average Joe
***
 
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Name: Han
Gender: Female

Posts: 113
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: July 15th 2009

Re: (No Title) - Can I have feedback please? - September 11th 2009, 12:36 AM

This is astonishingly beautiful. Kep writing. It could take you far. You write about your life and your experiences. Those are the best kinds of creations.


"No matter how bad something is hurting us... sometimes it hurts worse to let it go..."



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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Magical Forest. Offline
Crazy Penguin Lady
I can't get enough
*********
 
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Name: Hannah
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 2,939
Blog Entries: 676
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: (No Title) - Can I have feedback please? - September 11th 2009, 11:20 AM

I really like this Jaymi, Well done!
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
i_am_me_again Offline
I'm A Pyschotic Neurotic.
I can't get enough
*********
 
i_am_me_again's Avatar
 
Name: Jaymi
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 3,203
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: (No Title) - Can I have feedback please? - September 11th 2009, 12:36 PM

Ahhh, thank you


HelpLink Mentor & Forum Moderator

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Our lives are like music.
It hits its high and low notes,
But in the end,
It all turns into a perfect melody
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
noise94 Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
noise94's Avatar
 
Gender: N/A

Posts: 3,231
Join Date: January 11th 2009

Re: (No Title) - Can I have feedback please? - September 11th 2009, 05:10 PM

That was really good, Jaymi!

Quite powerful. [:
   
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