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Crescendo Offline
Walking The Line
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Question Wrong Side Of The Ferry- feedback please! - January 15th 2010, 01:37 AM

This is a "This I Believe" essay, a concept started on NPR (US national public radio) in the '50s. The concept is to talk about a core belief you have based in events from your life in a 350-500 word essay.

Any critique would be very appreciated- I've been in writers workshops so I can take criticism. listing a few things you do and don't like & why is ideal. Thank you!

..............................


The Wrong Side Of The Ferry

In the muddled confusion of life my beliefs have, like a Polaroid picture, developed slowly into brilliant color.

My first therapist said it was like I was a native Spanish speaker, who was suddenly living in Germany. "You can walk around Germany, screaming in Spanish, getting strange looks,” She said “Or you can get a German Spanish dictionary." But I don’t want to speak German. I like the way I am.

I am thirteen years old.

It is a sweltering summer afternoon in Paris and I have just arrived at the Eiffel Tower with my student ambassador group. Some of my friends are pairing off to wait in line to go to the top. Others are taking snapshots that will later be posted on social networking sites.

Meanwhile, I am lying flat on my back to take a picture that I imagine captures the view of a French ant.

How do you sum up a man? Is he the milestones of his life? His job? His accomplishments? His lover? Or is he something much more complex? A series of moments, sewn together by the passing of days and breaths and cups of coffee?

I didn’t compete in the Olympics or write a best selling book. I have however held the door open for women with strollers, sent anonymous valentines to kids I didn’t think would get any, and served meals to senior citizens with a smile.

This I believe: Being different makes a difference. Break throughs come from people who break the mold. Everyone plays a role. Some of us are the leads, and some of us are in the choir but As Dr. Seuss said, “A person’s a person, no matter how small.”

I am fifteen years old.

It is November in New York City, a day of bitter cold that bites at your cheeks. I am sitting on the wrong side of the ferry passing Staten Island, making out with a girl I have just met in the freezing cold, yet somehow my heart is warm.

Some people may think I’m stubborn or lazy for not getting that dictionary, but I don't regret what I’ve experienced, and I think even a Spanish speaker in Germany can do good in this world.

I may not do anything that goes in the history books, but maybe just being alive and being myself would be incredible enough.








When the patient's body has betrayed them,
and all the sciencewe have to offer has failed them,
when worst-case scenario comes true,
clinging to hope is all we've got left.
-grey's.anatomy-

Last edited by Crescendo; January 15th 2010 at 03:37 AM. Reason: edit
   
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Re: Wrong Side Of The Ferry- feedback please! - January 16th 2010, 05:38 AM

This is awesome! I haven't seen anything like it before. I like the message it sends.
I think it would be better if you added more in the middle, otherwise I can't really criticize anything I haven't seen before!

Keep up the great writing!


What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and wiser, that in itself, is worth the fight.

The best way to predict the future is to create it - Peter F. Drucker

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - Nelson Mandela


   
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