The Perfect Facade

[Sad_Lauren]

i'm standing right in front of you but you can't even see. i cry out in the night, screaming for you. you never hear me. i stand there watching you live on without me, while i'm frozen in place with tears in my eyes. i stay there, watching, never moving.

frozen in time with tears in my eyes, why can't anybody see me? stuck in a glass box of hatred and sadness, only one way for viewing. i look out and see happiness, when i look in i see a world not worth living. when you look in you see nothing wrong. my plastered smile and and shallow eyes scream help me, but my glass box twists them into perfection. the perfect facade.

can you pretend to see me for one moment and maybe see i'm not ok? can you look at me without regret? can you see what i see? the ugliness and sorrow and hate in this life unworthy? can you, just for one moment, ask me the one simple question that can stop it all? can you simply ask me if i'm ok?

frozen in time with tears in my eyes, why can't anybody see me? stuck in a glass box of hatred and sadness, only one way for viewing. i look out and see happiness, when i look in i see a world not worth living. when you look in you see nothing wrong. my plastered smile and and shallow eyes scream help me, but my glass box twists them into perfection. the perfect facade.

can you stop ignoring me and see into my face, my eyes? can you see they aren't the same eyes, the same face? can you see the distorted figure and features of this mutated girl? the girl, once so happy and bright, who now cannot even take on life. she lives off herself, parasitic to her emotions, sucking away every last feeling until she cannot feel anymore. she reversed herself, into this hermit creature of the night. she speaks softly and slowly, whereas she was so outspoken and loud.

what happened to the happy girl we all used to know? what has she done? where did she go? why has she hidden herself, away from the light? gone forever from all of our sight. the happy girl, now solemn and lowly, speaks up, so softly and slowly.

i am the girl, once happy. i hide from you all, life so unbearable. i cannot face your happiness when i am so sad. such a change in my life, i cannot come back. happy girl has left our earth. now this sad, life loathing creature, is trying to claim her place. i have changed with all memories forgotten. why couldn't you stop me? why couldn't you see? the clues, so obvious, lay out in front of me. were they so hidden or were you so blind? couldn't you see me, just one last time?

frozen in time with tears in my eyes, why can't anybody see me? stuck in a glass box of hatred and sadness, only one way for viewing. i look out and see happiness, when i look in i see a world not worth living. when you look in you see nothing wrong. my plastered smile and and shallow eyes scream help me, but my glass box twists them into perfection. the perfect facade.

the perfect facade. can you tell it from reality? the perfect facade, is it truth or lie? which has become me, which one has died? life-everlasting or death-most becoming? which choice is mine to make, which choice will you help me to make? will you salvage my life or finally tell the facade from reality at my wake? which choice will you make?

[PGP]

this is a very stirring piece of writing
i love it!!! you're brilliant Lauren, and you are an excellent writer!!
keep it up

[Sad_Lauren]

thanks pie. i deliberately put it on facebook in the hopes my mom would see it and realize that she needs to help me because i cant reach out on my own, except in writing. or maybe a friend will see. i just need to get it out that im reaching out for help.

[luvflamingos]

Wow Lauren! I can not believe I almost missed this. Wow. I wish I knew what else to say. You're a great writer Lauren. This is so powerful.

[Imagine]

This is really good Lauren!

[Sea Monkey]

This is amazing. Truely inspired me

[Sarahh9]

This is amazing. Its exactly how I feel, and I really like the part about how the glass twists what you can see. I wish I could write like this :/