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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Fly Away From Here
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In The Arms of an Angel's Avatar
 
Name: Sami-Kait
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Philly

Posts: 36
Join Date: February 16th 2009

needs a title...and some feedback - March 3rd 2009, 10:47 PM

Thoughts racing in my head,
No world but my own
Racing around the world,
Not a thought in my head
Two different people, worlds apart,
No idea where they’re going, or where they’ve been.
Linked by destiny, held by fate,
They travel separate paths never made to cross.
I dream, I hope, I want
To not be forgotten and always alone
I act, I scheme, I plan
To never be without my friends
Two different people, worlds apart,
No idea where they’re going, or where they’ve been.
Linked by destiny, held by fate,
They travel converging paths, feeling a bit lost.
Fading out in this hazy world
All my thoughts jumble into junk
Losing control in this crazy world
All the good turns to dust in my palm
Two different people, worlds apart,
No idea where they’re going, or where they’ve been.
Linked by destiny, held by fate,
They travel crossing paths, their worlds turned upside down.
The warm sun shines down
Waking me up
The cool rain falls softly
Making me calm
Two different people, worlds apart,
No idea where they’re going, or where they’ve been.
Linked by destiny, held by fate,
They travel intertwining paths, embracing the feeling they’ve found.
Who knew there was a world outside my own?
That my thoughts would clear and I needn’t be alone?
Who knew there was this world to call my own?
That the good would stay and I needn’t fear being alone?
Two different people, worlds apart,
No idea where they’re going, or where they’ve been.
Linked by destiny, held by fate,
They travel the same path forever together as one.
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soul Offline
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Name: Mimi
Gender: Female

Posts: 922
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: needs a title...and some feedback - March 3rd 2009, 10:59 PM

very nice and creative humm sounds like you are describing duality or ambivalence very nicely I can't really think of a good title though ummm.... is there anything specific that this poem is about?



As long as we can dream, there will be unicorns.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Fly Away From Here
Welcome me, I'm new!
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In The Arms of an Angel's Avatar
 
Name: Sami-Kait
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Philly

Posts: 36
Join Date: February 16th 2009

Re: needs a title...and some feedback - March 3rd 2009, 11:06 PM

mm well idk i was kinda thinking bout me and my ex when it started...but by the time it was finished it wasnt so idk what its about
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