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The moon (Poem) - March 31st 2011, 12:41 AM

[Ok, this is my first try in going into poetry. So I am not a poet]

I am the light in the darkness
The hope in the souls of all good men
I shall forever be the vanguard of the light of day

May the souls of all bad men fade into the mist of darkness
And join their fallen brothers
When the darkness of night return, they shall be resurrected.

[Again, this may sound crappy, just want to know what you guys think of it]

Last edited by Quarter; March 31st 2011 at 05:25 AM.
   
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Re: The moon (Poem) - March 31st 2011, 05:18 AM

Hey Ivegon, it doesn't sound crappy at all. I think you're off to a great start, just don't forget that in the second last line, the correct usage should be 'their'.

Do keep writing!


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Re: The moon (Poem) - March 31st 2011, 05:24 AM

Thank you very much for the nice comment and the grammatical correction. I will modify. At least its a good start.
   
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Re: The moon (Poem) - March 31st 2011, 06:12 AM

I would also make a reference to the revelation 21:6 of the Bible. I am not religious, but that statement what gave me the inspiration.
"I am alpha and omega, The beginning and the end"
I just love it.
Also, I see the poem as hope. Hope that there will be something better soon. Just got to hang on.
So, I hope it shall help someone on TH who needs hope.

Thank you for the encouragement. Never thought my own creation would help me in some way.

P.S. Actually, I beat a personal record in PE because of that poem. It was a running test and I am not the best at running. But, when I was running, I was repeating that poem over and over. And, it gave me hope and distracted my mind. Though I have a massive leg cramp :S. But that's a good sign.
   
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Re: The moon (Poem) - April 1st 2011, 04:08 AM

This doesn't sound crappy at all, it's very good actually. I can picture it in my head.


"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars."

"For those who don't care, for those who can't see, never give up, always thrive to be free."

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Re: The moon (Poem) - April 1st 2011, 04:54 AM

I actually quite like this. It's pretty powerful, and you have mass potential.
Keep playing around with writing and see what else you can come up with. :]


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Re: The moon (Poem) - April 4th 2011, 03:31 AM

Thank you. I feel that I believe in some kind of religion which keeps me going. This poem gives me hope that everything will get better. The moon is a powerful figure in my head. As stated in the poem, it represents the vanguard of the light of day. Thus, hope. I will come up with other ideas and I will post them here at TH.

Thank you for the encouragement.
   
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