Triggering: Chapter one of my (untitled) story

[Paix et Amour]

please tell me what you think so far!

chapter one -

"GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE AND EAT YOUR BREAKFAST BEFORE YOU MISS THE BUS, EMILY!"
What a wonderful way to wake up. With all the screaming, I'm guessing this is a bad day to fake sick again. Damn. I was hoping to avoid school as long as possible, but I've faked sick all this week so far and it's already Thursday.

See, the reason i don't want to go to school is lately it seems everyone hates me. i get tripped, shoved down in the halls, even beaten up sometimes. The only reason i havent had my mom pull me out of school yet is because of my friends. My only friends, might i add.

"THE BUS WILL BE HERE IN TEN MINUTES HURRY THE FUCK UP!"

I get out of bed and go into the bathroom, taking off my clothes and stepping on the scale. 180. Looks like I'm going to be skipping breakfast today, and "forgetting" to bring my lunch money. I have been doing this for a while now. skipping meals, weighing myself every chance i get, and faking sick when my mom says dinner is ready. So far it seem to be working though. I've lost 5 pounds in the past 2 weeks of this.
"IF YOU DON'T GET IN THE KITCHEN RIGHT NOW I SWEAR TO GOD..."
I quickly put my clothes back on and run into the kitchen. "jeez mom, i was getting ready." i say, annoyed. "yeah well your bus is here. your going to have to skip breakfast or grab something to take with you."


I run down the street and quickly get in the bus. I look around for a seat but there are none. At least, i think there are none until i see a hand waving like mad a few rows down. "EMILY! where have you been all week?" says my friend rachel. "oh... you know, just caught a bug and had to stay home.." "Oh, ok, we all thought you had DIED or something!" she says with her eyes half bugging out of her head "heh, well, I'm here now right? do we have any homework im going to have to make up?" "yeah, but nothing much. just a couple math problems and a book report. i'll email them to you later, kay?" she says, seeming way too excited for some homework. "alright." i say, as the bus comes to a stop in front of the school. "I'll see you in home room rach! bye!"

[Boxy]

Just subscribed to this thread. I like it so far, it's relatable already!
Keep posting!

[Paix et Amour]

ahhhh thank you! i wrote chapters 2 and 3 already, i just have to copy/paste them

[Paix et Amour]

chapter 2 -

Wow. What a long day at school. Everybody asking why I was out for the week along with all the assholes calling me fat and ugly and worthless just ends up making you tired.

As soon as i got out of the bus and had walked home, i walked right into my room, took off my backpack, and flopped onto my bed. Thank god my mom is still at work, i really cant handle her bugging me about how my day was right now. i just want to sleep, but i have a ton of homework to do now. i drag myself out of my bed and flop onto my chair instead. i open up my computer, type in my password, and pull up the internet. Might as well check my facebook before a start my homework.

i open my eyes up after drifting off for a few minutes, and yawn. i look at the screen. ooooh look, 3 new notifications! thats bound to help me procrastinate a little more!

"Rachel Warner commented on your photo"
*click*
It's the picture i posted of us last week, when we went to the park.
"You look so pretty in this picture Em! I love it!"
i click the comment box and write my reply. "Thanks Rachel, you look good in this picture too! "

hmm okay on to the next notification.

"Damien Wood sent you a request on Mafia wars"
thats nice. *delete*

now lets see what this last one is.

"friend request from - Samantha Markson"

....who?

wait no ok i remember, shes the new girl who just moved here last week. Eh, she seems nice enough. might as well. "friend request accepted*

no more than 10 seconds after i clicked accept, a chat message came up.

"hi, im sam, i just moved here. thanks for accepting my request!"
"hi, I'm Emily. No prob haha, you seem nice, so might as well add you lol."
"lol cool. well, i have to go, but i think i have some classes with you. see you tomorrow, kay?"
"alright, bye."
*Samantha Markson is offline*

[Paix et Amour]

Chapter 3 -

Well it's finally Friday. i love Friday. As i walked into homeroom I saw Sam there. "hey!" she and rachel both yell at the same time. And then they both start giggling at the same time. *sigh* "hey guys. Rachel have you met Sam? We havent talked much but she added me on facebook yesterday. i was thinking maybe she could come to the park with us later if you don't mind. You want to come with us Sam?" i ask. "Sure! I'm really new here, so i don't really have any friends. It would be fun to hang out with someone!" she says, quite obviously very excited.

"alright, settle down everybody, we have an announcement to make before school starts. next week will there is going to be a school dance. the winter ball or something. yipee. you guys can see my excitement can't you?" Mrs. White says, clearly bored by all of this. "it will start at 6PM next saturday. it will cost 5 dollars per person to get in. Food and drinks will be served. now, to get back to yesterdays lesson...." but i dont hear anything after that. is anybody going to ask me to go? we had the same thing last year and the only person who asked me was this new kid, Matt, who obviously did not get the clue that I'm not exactly into guys until about the 5th time he asked, where without think, i yelled "FOR GODS SAKE, I'M A FUCKING LESBIAN" in the middle of the crowded hall. I guess that is also how i came out. To basically the entire school. 9th grade boys are idiots.

ANYWAYS, as i was saying, i really hope somebody asks me. last year i ended up going with Rachel which was kinda weird because after my little, *cough*, i guess you could say, outburst, in the hallway.. everybody kept asking us if we were dating. It took a good long while to clear it up, and tell them that no, Rachel is actually quite straight.

I think everybody is still a bit suspicious about that though.



~~~~after school~~~~

"so, you guys want to go to the park or my house?" sam asks. "well, i would say your house, but my mom has this rule about meeting parents before i can go over to a friends place unfortunately, so the park it is!" Says Rachel.


as we walk we start playing Question for Question. by the time we got there, we knew Sam quite well, she knew us quite well. It would be tough for us to learn anything about each other though, we have known each other since 3rd grade, i think we probably know every possible thing there is to know. which can at times be a bad thing.


we sit down on the swings and start talking about the dance. Sam asks us if they allow a girl to go with another girl. So i guess there IS someone else at the school now who isnt 100% straight. Sam is still talking but all i hear are my own thoughts. "she IS really pretty... i wonder if she likes me... what if she thinks im cute? oh god brain, shut up, shut up, shut UP. "
"we both know that nobody likes you! you are too fat and ugly for anyone to like you. you only have friends because they feel bad for you."
"no, thats not true, what about rachel? she likes me. i just know she does."
"thats only because you werent fat and ugly when she met you! you know nobody could like what you are now! you are disgusting. you should just go jump off a.."

"EMILY! Are you even there? knock knock, is your brain home? you have been spaced out for like 15 minutes over there!"

"oh... sorry... i was just.. thinking.... look, hey, you guys, im gonna head home. Sam, heres my phone number, call me whenever. Rachel you know my number already haha. alright guys i will see you Monday i guess."


"what the fuck was THAT? you made yourself look like an idiot over there! what the hell is your fucking problem?"

"i'm sorry, i just.. i couldn't think straight, i just, i dont know.. i have to go home..."

[Paix et Amour]

Chapter 4 -

"Oh god what the fuck. I bet Sam is never gonna want to talk to me ever again now. I'm such a freak.."
"Oh, what, you expect anything different? You are an IDIOT Emily. An IDIOT. You don't even need me to do anything, you already fuck everything up on your own!"
"Fuck, your right... Why the FUCK do I even fucking TRY anymore! I'm such a fucking idiot! I fuck EVERYTHING up. It's my own fault I'm fat, It's my own fault people hate me, It's my own fault that I've been so depressed and lonely for the past 3 fucking years. all my fucking fault..."

I grab a pencil and a piece of paper -

"Mom, Dad, I'm sorry. this is NOT your fault. please tell Rachel it isn't her fault either. I've never wanted to hurt any of you, but I just can't keep going on like this. I've been feeling like this for quite a while. I wish I could have told you, but I don't want help. I just want out. I love you guys so much. Mom, Dad, I love you. You always tried your best to help me with any problem I've ever had. Rachel, you are the best friend I've ever had. I love you to death and I don't want to hurt you, but this is something I have to do. I'm sorry you guys.... I'm just... I'm so so so sorry.."


I finish writing, and grab a bottle of my moms pills. I really don't know what they are, some kind of muscle relaxers. the bottle says 8 or more within 24 hours can put you in a coma or kill you, so good enough. I grab a bottle of water and swallow all the pills. I lost count after 20.

~~~~20 hours later~~~~

I slowly open my eyes, confused. My head is pounding, my stomach hurts, my throat is burning.

"OH THANK GOD YOU ARE OK!" I hear my mom yell as I rub my eyes.

"wh- where am I..." I stutter.

"Honey, you are in the hospital. I walked into your room to see how you were doing since I didn't know if you were still sick, and I see you passed out on the floor, an empty bottle of pills next to you, and a piece of paper. I only had time to read the first sentence before I screamed for your dad and we got you to the hospital. You were in a coma from the pills honey. Oh my god, I'm just so glad you are okay..." she quickly says.

Well shit. It didn't work. I even fail at killing myself. and now my mom is crying. I look around and see my dad and Rachel there. I burst into tears. "I'm sorry... I- I- I'm so sorry!"

"It's ok Em, you are ok now, that's all that matters, right? right? We are here for you. We care about you. Jeez Emily, you should have told me how you were feeling, I could have helped you.." Rachel says as she starts to cry too.

Shit.

"Honey, we read the note, and we all decided you need to see somebody about this. The hospital recommended a therapist. We are going to get you an appointment as soon as possible, ok honey? Do you feel alright?" my dad says.

"um... I.. I guess I'm alright... My stomach and my throat hurt so much though..."

"they had to pump your stomach Emily, you took so many pills that they had to do it as soon as you got here, and you wouldn't wake up, so they couldn't just give you the medicne to make you throw up.."


"you even failed at suicide. you are the most pathetic fucking idiot I've ever heard of."
"I didn't know my mom would find me! It isn't my fault, I WANTED to die! I really did!"
"sure you did. knowing you I bete this bullshit was for attention wasn't it?"
"NO! how could you even SAY that? I WANTED TO DIE. I TOOK A WHOLE BOTTLE OF PILLS!"
"yeah well, you failed again, you worthless fucking piece of shit."

[Boxy]

Well I just read through the 3rd chapter, I'm interested to see what happens next. I'll definitely be back soon to read the 4th and what more is to come.

[Paix et Amour]

i should have more written tomorrow

[Paix et Amour]

Ok, I've decided to name it Letters to my future girlfriend (you will see why later) and this forum will be where i post it all. im also posting it on a website.

http://figment.com/books/178880-Lett...ure-girlfriend

[Boxy]

Wow this is good, can't wait to read more!

[Paix et Amour]

thanks might take me a little bit to catch up on all the stuff i have to do this week before i can write more though!

[Paix et Amour]

sorry ive been busy and not able to write. i will try writing more this weekend