Triggering: Drowning In His Tears

[ToGoOmniscient]

His mind is the worst place to be.
Swimming and drowning inside thoughts of self-destruction.
He can't breathe and he can't open his eyes.
When he does, all he sees is her face.
Her beautiful face.
Her porcelain skin, her emerald eyes.
Her soft lips pressed against his.
The feel of his arms wrapped around her;
it lingers on his skin.
Every kiss, every hug, every taste,
every 'I love you' she ever gave him
was a lie.
She tossed her blonde hair and walked away.
She left him broken and breathless.
She abandoned him, young and restless.
She disappeared, and left him lost.
She stole from him and never paid the cost.
His mind is the worst place to be.
He's drowning in his tears,
He's losing at fighting his fears,
He's lost all self control.
Where to go from here?
He can't escape his mind, can't escape
the thoughts of self destruction.
The abyss swallows him whole
He fights to reach the surface.
When air finally reaches his burning lungs
It's putrid and unbreathable
He fearfully retreats back into the dark.
He wishes this was a dream.
But the pain reminds him this is a reality.
His mind is the worst place to be.
A broken, restless, unfixable mind
is worse than dying.

[brokensmilexx]

Wow. I really like this, it's so descriptive.
Amazing (:
<33

[ToGoOmniscient]

Thank you.
This is based off a story that I'm writing.
so yeah. I felt creative. xD

[Akito]

I really like this as well. It flows neatly and comes together to tell a repetitive message, that the mind of the speaker is the worst place to be (and also gives reasons why, such as memories of abandonment). The piece is blunt about the speaker's situation. My favorite line (excepting the last two lines) was:

She stole from him and never paid the cost.

Its placement tied in well with the rest of the piece, especially the line prior. The rhyming made sense and fit exactly. The use of words such as "abyss" and "putrid" also fit exactly and did not overly dramatize the piece (as is easy for words such as those to do), connecting with the surrealistic aspects of the speaker's mind.

Kudos. : )

[ToGoOmniscient]

You know, I wrote this in ten minutes in my CCP class. xD
So yeah this is always nice to hear
Thanksha xD