Too Late

[Autumnwind]

Haven't really posted my writing here lately. Been super busy, recording, writing and stuff like that. But, here is part of a piece of mine. I started writing it yesterday, it's un-edited so far so it's probably really off-target. But hopefully you like it anyway! Tell me what you think, and tell me if I'm going in the right direction

In the hearts of the restless and eyes of the relentless

Breathless I lay here senseless tryin' to stay under arrest

But with the claws slaying reckless disobeying the rest

Swaying the crest of every praying guest til they display the test

But with being adolescent deaming myself benevolent

Dreamin' of the present til my demons ascend in

Breaking my glass fort gleaming of resin

Seemingly deafen my voice singing to decendencents

Of every broken glass, bottle, and every promise filled pendant

Regardless of any fucking memory lying within it

Pushing to my limits trusting every single minute

Gathering resistance shadowing persistance forget it

I'm mastering perseverance, I'm answering to the fearless

I'm Shattering the tears 'n staggering for the clearness

I'm Capturing the feelings of every straggling dissapearance

I'm Balancing my treasons trying to flatter every missed season

[_sunsets64.]

this is so good!! especially the rhyme scheme, that's incredible, you're really talented.
and i love the message too--it's about someone breaking through their depression, right? like trying to gain their life back after being "senseless and restless" all the time and being hurt by their personal demons? it has so much emotion and imagery, it's really great. Do you write a lot?

[Autumnwind]

Yes I do haha, most of my poetry is on here. Or if you go to my facebook you'll see every single poem I've ever written.

And the rhyme scheme was something that just came to me on this one.

Honestly, your interpretation of this poem is right on the dot. I'm impressed, I tried to make it so not many could understand it the way I do =p

Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/Convalesce

[_sunsets64.]

well then, you have a natural talent, because that's incredibly impressive multisyllabic rhyming. you know, i don't know if you like rap or not, but you'd probably be really good at it.
i guess i'm going through exactly what your poem's describing, so it just kind of spoke to me. i think if i hadn't though, it would have been more difficult to understand, because it's really cryptic the way you wrote it. like, the only way for someone to understand it would be for them to live through it first, which is kind of like depression itself, which i think makes it even better
i'll definitely have to check out more of your writing!

[Autumnwind]

Originally Posted by _sunsets64.

well then, you have a natural talent, because that's incredibly impressive multisyllabic rhyming. you know, i don't know if you like rap or not, but you'd probably be really good at it.
i guess i'm going through exactly what your poem's describing, so it just kind of spoke to me. i think if i hadn't though, it would have been more difficult to understand, because it's really cryptic the way you wrote it. like, the only way for someone to understand it would be for them to live through it first, which is kind of like depression itself, which i think makes it even better
i'll definitely have to check out more of your writing!

Actually, this is my 5th song I'm writing

I'm trying to make it in hip-hop and that's the reason I write like this =p good job at pointing it out!

I have 3 songs fully finished writing, 1 of them is recorded, and the 4th song I'm still writing along with this one.

I love to write for more than myself, I like to describe what I see in others. It helps me keep on topic and it helps me understand life one song at a time

[_sunsets64.]

wow, that's so cool! i was gonna say, it feels like hip-hop. you should upload your recorded songs, and the rest when they're finished, i'd love to hear it, and i'm sure other people would too. and good luck, my brother's in a band with some of his friends, but they're like serious, trying to make it professionally, so i know how competitive and frustrating the whole music industry process can be. but also really rewarding and fun, they always seem to be like radiating happiness when they're performing.
do you have a stage name?

I love to write for more than myself, I like to describe what I see in others. It helps me keep on topic and it helps me understand life one song at a time

i totally know what you mean!! i used to write poems, and i tried writing songs too but i wasn't very good. and drawings. i don't know why i stopped... i guess i just got too busy. i'm gonna have to get back to that, though. thank's for reminding me of what i've been missing

[Autumnwind]

Yes I do, actually. It's been one of my favorites.

Convalesce. It means to recover, or recuperate. I also like to think of it as redemption

So awesometo hear about your brother, too! I'm sure they'll be great!

And I'm planning on uploading the songs on this site soon!

[_sunsets64.]

I like that, it's different, but like really meaningful too
awesome, message me when you do, i can't wait to hear them!

[Autumnwind]

Btw, Part 2 is coming soon! Almost done with it. IT's the second verse

[_sunsets64.]

i'm looking forward to it

[GoneBeyondRepair]

as always- i love this
its really good