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(#1 (permalink))
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Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
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Name: Lauren
Age: 15
Gender: Female
Location: walmart XD
Posts: 36
Join Date: July 12th 2010
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this poem -
January 27th 2012, 03:36 AM
Ok so I like this girl andi tried to make it from the heart. So I found a good poem and made most of it into my own words. I would like feedback about it cuz right now I'm just brain storming really. Im gunna give it to her on valentines day so here's what I came up with:
Like the stars in the sky, I connect to the sparkles in your eyes I daydream and can only hope that you will fold your hand with mine. I gave myself to people that didn't have the priviledge. so I searched on a trail to find a cute princess. I feel it is u that should be connected to my hand, conjointed to my lips, To give me those constant, adorable giggles, and warm sweet hugs that swing me to heaven. I love u for how sweet and adorable u r. I would like the priviledge to spend time with u my love. So please, send me a sign- your secret lover |
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(#2 (permalink))
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Adrians my Favorite, Forever
 Jeez, get a life! *********** 
Name: Nicole
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Location: Seattle
Posts: 7,210
Join Date: October 14th 2010
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Re: this poem -
January 27th 2012, 06:05 AM
Hey there, I moved this over to Self Expression because you are asking for feedback on a poem and not relationship advice.
I like it though, it has excellent word choice 
 Buddy|Live Help Operator|HelpLink Mentor|Social Networking Team Relationships&Dating Mod|Lifestyle Mod|Media&Entertainment Mod Performance Committee |
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(#3 (permalink))
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New Account
 Average Joe *** 
Name: Kylie
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Location: United States
Posts: 136
Join Date: January 2nd 2012
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Re: this poem -
January 27th 2012, 09:40 AM
Quote:
   My DeviantArt [Originally Joined: April 2010 Staff Member Since: June 2010] LGBT Forum Mod Self-Expression Forum Mod Live Help Operator |
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(#4 (permalink))
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I'll be okay...
Outside, huh? ********** 
Name: Desiree or Dez
Age: 15
Gender: Female
Location: FOR IRAW!!! ...And Connecticut
Posts: 3,760
Join Date: November 16th 2010
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Re: this poem -
January 29th 2012, 03:21 AM
This is really nice. I agree, I'm sure she'll really love this.
Sing, the last thing on your mind The last word on your breath I'll be the one to keep you I'll keep you at your best  Self Expression Forum Mod 4/23/12 |
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