Triggering: How could you???

[cyndii]

How can you ask me to be something I'm not? How can you ask me to be happy when death is all that makes me smile now? Cause you're the one that took away the things that ever made me smile and feel true happiness in this world. How could you think I could fit into this family when all you do is push me away from it?

I just can't do it anymore, I can't keep living this worthless lie. I need to be me and nothing more, cause that's all I can ever be. But you can't seem to accept the person I am. what happened to the thing that you said you would always have for me? What happened to that so called 'Unconditional Love'?

It all must have faded away with the memory of what was, the memory of a younger, happier me. A time where everything was simple and the innocence I once had could not be lost in you're eyes. A me I no longer know, a me that left with the memories of you walking through that door.

These scars a meaning of all feelings I once had, these tears my only sign of any form of feeling anymore, these tears of hate and regret. These tears that sting from the memory and longing for what we use to have. These tears I can no longer hide from the world, these unshed tears no longer kept hidden in the dark.

Would it all be easier if I was gone? Would it be better if I came to my end? The end I can no longer delay, an end that is inevitable to me. Would this world be a happier place for you if all I was to it was another memory lost in time?

How could you make me feel all this despair while all I see in your eyes is the thing I once had, the thing I once cherished, now the one thing I long for the most. All I see is the happiness I once had. The happiness that meant everything to me, but you couldn't see it. You never could.

I no longer dream because a dream fades into nothing, and nothing lasts an eternity, and eternity turns into a nightmare. My life now is just an eternity of darkness suffocating me, never letting go of me. So tell me one thing... How could you do this to me?

[Dez]

I could feel the emotions here. If you ever need anything, we are all here for you.

[cyndii]

Thanks I will definatley keep that in mind