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Autumnwind Offline
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Name: Robert
Age: 26
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All of my Poetry. (Updated ASAP) - February 20th 2012, 07:51 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Instead of spamming "Self Expression" I'm going to just post all of my Poetry in one thread to make it simple.

I'm also celebrating my 1 year anniversary with my writing and my heart and soul. It's been 1 year since I started writing. During that time, I have written roughly 60 - 70 poems. There is still some poetry that I WILL not show because of personal reasons, but they're there.

Thank you for the support from TeenHelp as you have helped me grow in an artistic way and a personal way. Thank you.



These poems are going from when I first started writing, to when I started writing poetry, to when I started rhyming, to when I started multying and so-on and so forth. I like showing this much work so people can look through the progression of a writer over the few months that I started. Thank you for reading anyone and everyone. This is obviously a lot, and I don't expect anyone to read it all, whatsoever. Maybe just skim threw a few poems or so. Thank you, though, for taking the time to read, if any, my pieces.

Untitled


One night, I fell asleep... but in an unusual way. The light was on, TV was on, everything was on. I wasn't even that tired, just felt like a truck load of fatigue hit me. Then I woke up in a cold sweat, I started panting and this was the start of my second giagantic freak-out.

I felt like I was on auto-pilot. Straight to hell, and as I was taking this plummeth. I couldn't help wonder, "What the hell is causing this!" I was taking the ride of his life, losing altitude at the speed of light, my adrenaline shoots through the roof. Unbeleiveable urges... urges to lash out. I felt I was going insane, getting closer and closer to ground level, I began to fight back. Trying to get this plane going straight. I worked himself, from the force of gravity that had stuck me to the back of the plane, to the front. Trying to get to the controls, trying to TAKE control. I felt pushed down, I couldn't move. But I finally got my hands on the controls, I forced the steering wheele down, in this desperate fight to save my life, to save my mind

Struggle


Hands shaking in nervousness, as his mouth on the barrel
The whole room spinning, everything turning sureal.

Hard to beleive he's in the predictament,
He had everything to live for,
Til' something destroyed the sediment,
Now his heart so sore.

He wants to end it, let his body fall to the ground
Doesn't want to frown, wanting to wear that crown.
Of the sickest, most twisted motherfucker on the planet.
But what I failed to mention was he already had it.
The other side of him forcing that wicked smile.
The one that destroyed his life, took away his child.

Pulling on that trigger, inch by inch.
His origional side fighting, trying to break that clinch.
It's an innner conflict, between good and evil.
He wants to live, but his body so feeble.

Being overcome by the hate inside
He's in an endless fight for his state of mind.

Hope I don't turn into you


You have put me through hell, for my whole life. The sad thing about it, is you don't even know it. For you drown yourself in past memories. You don't remember a thing. You hurt yourself, which hurts other in your path. You deny it, even though the scars are solid proof. It's inevitable that you will keep drowning. You haven't stopped, and you never will. You say things you shouldn't say to people. From, "Ungrateful bitch." To, "Failure of life." For the only ungrateful failure I see, is you. Your life started not too pretty, and you let yourself sink in your sorrow. Instead of living for tomorrow, you keep taking a step back into bad memories. When you see me happy, you burst into flames with jealousy. You see me making the best of life, and you can't take it. So you have to tear it down, knowing you never had that optimism. To look at the good points, instead of bad. Another sad thing is, you have a great life, great house, good job, and children with great potential. So why are you putting them down, for no reason? Why are you still drowning, when you have many things to help you float.

But oh no.. I'm not the only one in your path. There are many who dare to stand and take it. Brave people those people actually are. You may not physically strike us, but your endless hate, and your endless mood crashing words pierce the optimism people hold so dearly until it's nothing but a pile of goop. When we look upon the sky for the good, you put your hand on the top of our head, and with great force - you push down. Making us look only at the bad things, making us want to be oblivious to the world, making us not want anything to do with life. But our will power keeps striking up. We have ones we love, that want to help and talk to us. That is one thing you don't have, for you have pushed everyone down and away you have ever came in contact with. We will always have the strength to power through your clutch, and count the precious seconds we only have once to cherrish. I swear we will, it's the biggest promise I will always keep.

I'm tired of you, tired of crying, tired of being angered, tired of not being happy, tired of you putting me down, tired of you making innocent people feel like how you felt. Man, you throw around that love word around but mask it with the very few times you say it. If you really loved us, you'd listen and stop this endless hell. Right now I'm at the peak of my life, and instead of you being happy for me and going with the flow. You have to bring me down, for you have never experienced how it felt to be where I am at. Man, i've done more in 17 years than you could ever do in your whole life. And you hate it, it eats you up inside. You think everyone should feel what you feel, when that is not true. Everyone should have an endless field of tranquility. That won't happen, and its becaues of people like you, who bring us down.

I'm done with you. No longer are you a part of my life. I wash you away, just like every other jerk that tried to bring me down for no reason. Bye bye, good riddens.

Love


Well, it happened. I'm in love, and I'm pretty damn crazy in love. Her name is, Heather Moreland. And I want nothing more than for her to be happy. She lives in California, and I live in Texas. Yes it's hard to go through things with usb eing so far, but the way we feel about eachother really makes us get through the day. It carries our relationship.

Right now, I want nothing more than to hold her, to hug her, to cherrish her presence around mine. Some people may look at me as.. gay? A fag? A total romancer. But I don't care, it won't change anything I feel. I'm not just some horny kid that all I want is some school whore to fiddle with me. I want the feeling I get when I hear Heathers' angelic voice. I want to be able to be there for her, not here. I love her so much, and some people might think that 4 months and loving someone as much as we love eachother, is rushing. But we know our feelings, and we beleive it's love. Truthfully I think, since it is a long distance relationship, if we didn't feel as strongly as we did. Our relationship would have failed miserably from the beginning.

I can't stop thinking about Heather, she's the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last when I go to sleep. When I wake up in the morning, I scramble to find my phone. Wondering if she woke up during the night, and wanted to talk. During the whole day, my thoughts are targeted only on her.

She is so unique. She's beautiful, body and mind. And she has a personality that I love in a girl. Fun, witty, cute, beautiful, and just overall perfect. I love her, and I can honestly say. I am deeply in love with her. I'm not just throwing it around. .

Story of Jake


Jake, A boy, born on December 5th, 1991. He was 10, a tip top shape kid. He was very talented, he had everything to live for. His life was on the right path. Making good grades in school, being very outgoing, and playing guitar very fluidly. He had dreams of being that, "Guitar Hero." being that guy who plays all the solo's, and gets asked for autographs left and right. His dreams were coming true with each day he got to live.

At 11, he found out what it was like to feel pain. To have all your dreams, be smashed in a swing of a fist. His father swung that fist. Connected with so much force, it brought new thoughts into this gifted child. He didn't want to try anymore, he didn't want to beleive anymore, he didn't think - doing good things - would get him this. No respect. He hadn't been through much, but this one swing.. chagned his whole perspective on life.. forever.

At 14, people started noticing a change. Grades were slipping, his attitude got worse, he was hanging around the wrong people, and doing the wrong things. His dad still never treat him right, threatened to beat. Always swung his hand, almost making contact. Showing he was the pro-dominant species in the house. That turned into full blown contact. The father felt powerful. The son felt scared, and rejected everything he had come to learn. He started teaching and learning things he never should have.

At 16, he was a different person all together. Rejecting everything in life, treating people like shit himself. Getting into harder drugs, going even deeper in the bad crowd, and dropped out of school. No more guitar, no more grades, no more good friends, and no more him. He got off the path by that one swing he suffered from many years ago.

At 17, he joined his first gang. Felt like he was someone, felt he was doing good. When all he was doing, was causing people harm. He was a soldier for the wrong army. Killing for no reason. He killed his first person on January 6th, 2008. His leader told him to wipe someone out for not paying respect to the gang. When jake got to the location he found the guy at, he got out of the car. And with his cold, black, heart. He shot the leg of the man. The leg buckled, which caused him to fall to the ground. With a puddle of blood forming, it was a nasty sight. Then, his thoughts started racing. He started thinking clearly again. He started thinking with his 10 year old brain again. "What am I doing.." "Why am I doing this.. this is so pointless.. I'm no fucking robot.. I'm a god damn person." "This is wrong.." Jake started to sob, and he walked back into the car. He took one last look at what he did. He drove away, still sobbing in the car. He was himself again. The kid that had his whole life ahead of him, the kid who can do anything if he put his mind to it, the kid who will do what he wants in life. He pulled up to the gangs' headquarters. He walked in with vengeance plastered on his face. He walked through the hallway, to see a room full of his fellow members. They were smoking, drinking and laughing.
The leader turned his head, and asked, "Did you get what I told you done..?" Jake looked up, and took his gun out. He pointed at the leader, he pulled the trigger. The bullet raced, and forced itself into the skull of the man. The rest of the members in the room, started scrambling for their guns. Jake shot the leader 4 more times, making sure he would never get back up. Two of the gang members, got their guns out. Started firing rapidly. Jake got hit in the shoulder, and the chest. His face, had the expression of release.. of releif. All the anger, all the feelings that were bottled up. Were flowing out with the blood from the bullet holes. He went down to his knees, and there was one more shot fired. It went straight through his heart. He was bleeding all his memories away. Each second, felt like a better second. Thoughts of when he was a kid started flashing in his mind. Playing his guitar and singing along with his favorite songs. Hanging out with friends, playing video games. Having fun at school.

At 17, January 6th, 2009. At 11:43 PM. He died, a man. A man, who made the best decision in his life. To end the nightmare he had entered, and to walk back into his dreams. His last thought, was being the guitar hero he always wanted to be.

Love Pt 2


You look in her eyes, and forget everything around you. There is no politics, there is no religion, there is no
preferences, there is no thought other than her,
Everything else is blurred and all you are paying attention to is her. Bliss.
It starts like this, perfect fairytale romance. Usually does.
couple months later, the bickering starts. Debating, disagreeing, discussing.
Argueing starts to happen, and you get mad, hurt, down, sad, worse and worse mood.
Still loving them, still seeing the perfect eyes you stared into in the first place keeps you together.

Argueing evolves into fighting, maybe calling names, bickering about stupid things, not caring anymore. Things aren't the same.
She doesn't call, you don't talk. When you do it's either fighting or very short. The memories of her keep you still attatched.

When someone stays with someone else, maybe puts up with them as long as they do..why do they do it?

People say "Because I love her/him!"

But why do they love them?

Sometimes when people stay with someone, it's because of fear. Fear they wouldn't find anyone else to share those past
memories with.

Or even make new ones. People are afraid to accept rejection.

Memories. You see that person has made you happy, has made you really happy. Maybe happier than ever in your whole life, and
you don't want to let those memories go..or the person who made them with you.

Future. You still see your future with that person, and that is another fear, You fear that is the only future you may
have with that person. You may think there is nothing else, and or no one else..but him/her.

The arguements get longer and the threatening comes through, "I'm breaking up with you" but then you crawl right back.
You can say it, but you don't want to mean it. You really don't want it to happen. Your heart is stabbed once it actually happens
Yet you want it so bad sometimes, how do you do it..? Usually I have some sort of answer..but I haven't mastered that myself.
Not really anyone has mastered the art of breaking up and keeping it. It's hard, lots of hard work. Probably the worst time in your life.
Letting someone go that you loved so much. Letting someone you could stare into their eyes for so long and still see so beautiful.
But when that becomes shaded by bickering, arguements, fighting. It isn't good to stay in it. Not at all. It sucks, it really does.
Letting someone go that you never thought would be gone, letting someone go that you saw a future with, letting someone go
that you saw nothing could happen without that person.

"How will I live without him/her?"
"Will I be the same?"
"How will I just get through this?"
"Why did it have to be that way?"
"What happened..?"

These are questions asked a lot by people who go through this, and it's easy to be optimistic and answer those in a positive tone.

But how do you truly answer those..?

To Cherish or not to Cherish?


That is the real question.

Now, You may look at a tree and see a tree.
Yet, Some see life
You may look at a child and see just a child.
But Some see a future, perhaps one that entails success
You may look at an old man and see a frail, old man.
Some see experience, wisdom, and a little piece of history.
You may look at a song and see a song.
However, Some see a story, an outlet to escape.


When a baby is born, even in the dark, its eyes burn bright.
Even when the baby cries, it calls out a melody we can all listen to.
Will you see it? Or will you be shaded by the darkness filling the day?
Will your grip be shaky and loose? Or will you squeeze on for dear life?


When you think of things in this way, you take much more appreciation of it, no matter how minuscule the thing may be. Can we ever cherish things the way
we want to? In my opinion, no. We never cherish things the way we truly want. We think we could and should have done better. The only way we could ever
cherish something as much as we want to is to be frozen in time. We will always look back and think we never had enough time to do what we wanted.
We sit down and dwell on the thoughts of the past. We think about the time that yet again has slipped from us so discretely, and we cry.
We mourne, we hate, we regret. We paint everything in a negative light, thinking we never cherished things the way we wanted to.
Yet, we would never reach the point of satisfaction with a topic so diverse such as "cherish". We have to accept the fact that we did the best we could, or
we will keep grieving over the thought of not cherishing the moment as we think we should. So I say, screw it. I cherished life as much as I could, and I
will live every moment of it as I can.

The times we truly start to cherrish life, are when things turn sour. The saying, "You never know what you have until it's gone," is true in so many ways.
You and your sister may have never got along as children, but now that she's on the hospital bed, you're there everyday more than anyone else just making
sure she has someone to talk to. You and your dad fight like cops and criminals, yet you miss him more than ever when you are on your own.
You and your mother clash like nations at war, yet when she passed away your heart softened and made room for her. When things become bad, you learn to
cherish what you had and so much more.

So the question still standing: To cherish or not to cherish..?


Are you going to be the one who gets swallowed up by their own darkness? Or are you going to let the light around you inspire you up and carry you along?
There is so much beauty in the world, all around us. Will you see it? Or will you just see the dark, shady forest with only one road leading to nothing.
You choose.

Now what about me you ask? My choice? Well, my choice is to live life the way I always have, watching the rays of hope illuminate the beauty of life.
I will cherish every moment as it was my last. Because honestly, you never know when you may go. So cherish your life... Cherish whats important to you.
And then, you will feel true satisfaction.

You

No matter how much you may not believe me, I love you. Fortunately through both light and dark. You have shown me the same commitment and I am grateful for that. You keep shedding light over my redeeming shadows. You have shown me the beauty rooted in life and no matter how many times it may be ripped out, it will keep growing. I will never forget you, for I love and cherish the very sight of you. Your presence will be filled within me....forever.

Wildlife


Saw the most beautiful pack of deer she's ever seen
Mother, father, daughter probably in her teens
Daughter looked up in the sky and told her "this is what you're looking for"
A white, burning horse with ambition and hope
From then on she remember the horses eyes
Seeing she's just like him in every aspect of life
Wild, free, loose, estatic
Never have to dread the day of being automatic
Wild and free....loose and estatic...
The day she rests won't feel as tragic.

Malory - The beginning.


I hate you, love you, hope you die real soon.

I hope the next person you infest makes it out alive too

You make my life hazy and you make me fucking crazy.

You never loved me, I couldn't stay away from the bravery

I am your hero....you're my heroin, Let's keep dancing until I feel your suttle blur again

Beads of sweat infest my face as my hands start to tremble, get a cheap smile from watching myself crumble under

In my eyes I see how perfect it all used to be, but I know the monsters in the closet are just ruining me

Once you wrap your arm around mine, I'm yours forever.

Sitting in your chair with your heavy hand on the lever.

Clever, making me slowely dissipate into nothing

Eyes closed, body lifeless, finally subccoming

Paralyzed by your seduction, no will to fight,

skewed my thoughts and made my lies,

I want to say this last goodbye.

Second Verse

As I try to rise from these dirty little ashes,

always fighting against this nightmarish facet

Still beleiving you were always my biggest asset,

didn't want to see myself lying in your casket

No more pint of cope, no more losing hope,

no more leaving myself in this bitter freezing cold

No more constituting myself into your crushing hold,

no more nightmares of watching myself lose it and fold

This is all rediculous, I'm getting ready to blow

My ambition reaches the sky, and by god i'll let it show

I will taste the stars and you won't even know

You'll be in someone else trying to get them sold

I won't ever beleive in your dirty little lies

I won't be trapped in the way you make me fly

I will never let you win by living my life

Like I said, theres no love, I said my last goodbye.

Quicksand


One mans wrong is another mans right
That's why you see daddy sneaking out at night
Its why you see mommy drown in her wine
Its why you see your daughter be limited to his life


Your son starts to play with his first gun
His role model taught him how to never see the sun
He starts to think taking a life is fun
Feeling the soul leave the bodies of innocent ones


Your husband claims he loves you but never shows you the same
Kisses your lips, turns around, and forgets your loving name
End up thinking its your fault and taking the blame
Never give yourself another chance, damn, its a shame

Your father loses to himself every night
Talking down his barrel of no will to fight
Keeps inevitably losing precious sight
Of the ones he swore to protect for all his life

Your best friend has your back or at least its what he said
Until the deal on the other table was clearly read
A tad bit sweeter than what you had him fed
Didn't even have a clue until he fled

Your mother selfish over the life she never had
Resenting you, reseting herself, even resenting dad
Showing you a real monster, but you do what you can
Getting by, day by day, walkin' through that quick-sand

Last edited by Soliloquy.; February 20th 2012 at 10:34 PM. Reason: Adding triggering prefix.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Autumnwind Offline
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Name: Robert
Age: 26
Gender: Male

Posts: 314
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Re: All of my Poetry. (Updated ASAP) - February 20th 2012, 07:53 AM

Softy


I guess I already grew up, matured up, threw the hatred away


I guess I'm full of stuffed animals, balloons, and little candy canes


Guess I'm not full of passion and all I want is fame


Here's a reality check, I could care less, if everyone knew my name


I don't give a shit if I'm top of the game


Where I stand right now, I look up and see the shame


You claim to be the best but you're all the same


Don't take me with you, I'm getting off this train


I look around my soul, see what happened today


Even if I don't relate, I try for their sake


I dwell on it until I feel the same


Watch it all again, even til day break



You will never make me hit the ground
I will never be held upside down
Upon my face a sneaky frown
I will fly around the world, making my sound



I take the bull by the horns, every single day


I don't let anyone or anything stand in my way


And I write everything down because I'm afraid


Of what it will do to me if I keep it all caged


It's the only thing that keeps the nightmares away


I'm not cocky, I don't see myself as a sage


I'm not special, and to some it won't change


But I'm fighting to show people some day


That I have heart, and I'm not a fake


I'm not writing to just go ahead and make


Millions of dollars to just fuckin' throw away


I'm writing cause I claim the right to be insane



You will never make me hit the ground
I will never be held upside down
Upon my face a sneaky frown
I will fly around the world, making my sound



So if all you want to do instigate hate


Go ahead and walk through that fiery gate


You'll see my hell and you'll see my fate


Sky rocketing, as you try to clean that slate


You wont even want to see my fucking face


You will want to think of me as a disgrace


For what you could never do as I trace


Perfection, trying to win this race


I'm not going to listen to anything you say


I will just sit there watching you fray


When I'm burried they will mark my grave


What do you think they'll say?

Mirror


Hey, rob, why don't you look in the mirror
Tell that person the same shit you told your pears
Cut the bitch loose, Let the guy go
Lock up all insecurities and just go with the flow


Scream at him the same way you do your loved ones
No ones safe from your wrath when the storm comes
"hey man, calm down, don't get worked up"
Yeah, tell him all that and see where the kid ends up.


Tell him he's wrong, just to show him no right
Tell him theres only one way to fight this fight
Analyze how he acts, see if he takes it to heart
Just to question your relationship, bringing him back to the start


Get him to trust you only to watch him fall
Listen to the screams but ignore all the calls
Fight for him just enough to have him in your grasp
Feel him crumble in your hands, watch him pour like sand


Give him enough to lick his chops but never taste the sensation
Watch the rose pedals die from the lack of percipitation
Lick his blood off your teeth after poking them holes
Turn around and hide the grin plastered from taking his soul



Go ahead and get what you want, capture lighting in the bottle
Open it, pour it down your throat, and float back to the bottom
Drag him down with you and never let the kid go
Show him that your horns grow and let your pitch fork tail show


Show him all you told him was to just clip his wings
Break him down into nothing, never let the caged bird sing
Not even a chirp, never let him fly his own path
Be his blind tour guide, you don't tell he wont ask

Go ahead and use his spine to scratch your own back
Look through his eyes to get answers to what you shouldn't ask
Play the little strings you developed all along
walk him over the the corner, cut them off, the act is conned

Masquerade


Your masks are pretty, keep changing them for me,


'cause this party wont stop until you stop spinning,


Dizzy, Not realizing anything,


Blurred from the all hurt to even see the stained glass gleaming,


Plug your ears enough to ignore the singing,


Elegently, Just pretend your senses don't pick up the ringing,


Screaming, At the reflection in the rippled water,


Beleiving, Your last chance drowned in that glass of "why bother",


Never crossed your mind of erasing the thoughts of,


Yourself riding that marry go round without facing your problems,


But the ride stopped and now you don't know how to solve them,


Now you stand there alone with thoughts of being condemned,


But you Fought em, Rebel against them in the fight of independence,


And you Caught em, In the act of destroying your benevolence,


Write them all down in a explosive single sentence,


Fight them off one by one with your pretty little pennance,


Rememberence, Wear those tatoo's battered up and bruised,


Innocence, Write those proclaimed phrases, and beleive them too,


Make people feel how it's like to walk in your shoes,


You think what it would be like if only they knew.

Soldier


Little toy soldier losing sight of his home,
His family, comfort, his dreams and hopes,
Human traits cease in this problematic war,
Asking for love and never wanting more,
Walking this faulted road all alone,
Once sweet, turned sour to the core,
Previous wars leave him sore, not knowing what he's fighting for,
Scorned, waking up washed up on the beach shore,



Little toy soldier wonders around aimlessly,
Glued his eyes shut so he couldn't even see,
The hell, the darkness, but the light and beauty,
Shine brighter and stronger than anything preceived,
The nightmares skew what he always beleived,
Life goes on, he is the one holding the key,
To fit in that lock he's held graciously,
Let himself know how it feels to be set free,



Little toy soldier in the devils solemn grasp,
Circulation to his heart is dropping rapid fast,
Looking for those magic words to form that cast,
Around every single problem that reminds him of the past,
Potential for first but always stuck in last,
Lost before he begun giving himself no chance,
When hell sings he's soothed in its trance,
Watching all the demons in his head start to dance,



Little toy soldier doesn't beleive he exists,
That reality is another reason to shake his fist,
Beleives there is nothing out there to accomplish,
That goals are nothing than just a christmas wish list,
Tries to be happy but the nightmares evoke his sadness,
He drowns a little further with another fragile kiss,
When he pulls his sleeves up you can see all the slits,
He calls each one another smile he tatoo'd on his wrist,



Little toy soldier laying dead in his casket,
Loved ones wonder why he put that barrel to his head,
He ate all the bullshit that he was spoon fed,
He painted himself red but no one could have read,
He had a shaky hand but nothing was ever said,
Bottled up every last drop of the mixture he bred,
Had a strong heart but just couldn't fend,
Off any of the monsters crawling in his head,


Another fragile soul lost in this war called life,
Another sore victim to the point of the knife,
Didn't give his all; Result: Lost the fight,
Tried to get in heaven with no wings to fly,
Regret simmers as the people start to cry,
The little angels on his shoulders can't begin to ask why,
He never listened, instead he ran away to hide,
Left the earth as his life was beginning to ripe.

Crazy


My life, I'm not even friends with my head,
It'd rather stuff me in the closet and make me scared of under the bed,
You hear what it said?
It wants to paint everything around it with a dramatic little bucket of red,
Watching it tread
Off into the distance, I'll miss it, it's going to crazy, maybe someday I'll go and visit,
It wants to play tricks it, wants to make me sick it, wants to make my life insanely frantic,


My life isn't perfect,
But all the bullshit I've been through has always been so worth it,
So I sit,
Letting the thought thicken as I write it, Putting every single thought I've ever had behind it,
So let's find it,
The reasoning behind all of this time I've spent on it just trying to forget it,
I dread it, but let's bring it, back up again so you can finally get a chance see it,


My life isn't glad, it's sad
My friends are fake and, my girlfriend is just another daughter of satan,
I'm not a man,
The thing I spend my money most on is a bag full of rocks and a bottle full of sand,
I'm my biggest fan,
Even then I don't cheer for myself because even hope is just a stupid fad,
I do what I can,
To stick to the my plan of making it through this life growing into a man,


I admit, I'm not the same, I've changed
And if they were true to me they'd never say they can't stay,
Watching it all fray,
It all goes away, what do I say?, I just guess it wasn't in the mind of fate,
I've gained my trait,
Of making it through this game, pushing my name, hoping to clear all the shame,
I'm sorry if you came,
And had thoughts of the train, making it futher than anyone could frame,


I've taken more than what I'm worth,
Ive also been taken since the first day I took step on this earth,
Mallory was first,
She's taken my hand since birth and told me she'd be laying with me on the day i'm in the herse,
I'm so unsure, So insecure
Of everything around me so I shut down and let it all become a blur,
There is no cure,
Everyone will think it's love, but in fact it's about my curse and how I let it become my hurt,



So look deep into my eyes,
See the hell that resides Inside my life,'cause I've been through hell and back a hundred times,
Not perfect but it's mine,
The sun really doesn't shine, 'cause the clouds are too busy looking down and cryin',
I'm never flyin',
The wings have been cut right when I jumped I guess I just will stop tryin' and give it up,
Fucked up,
My whole life has been judged, but don't read my book by it's cover, 'cause even your pages are torn up

Malory - The Need



She clung onto me since the day,
I started molding my ball of clay,
Into something that I'd never trade,
For anything in this world today,
She's there for me everyday,
Even when the string starts to fray,
She's the poison that gets to my brain,
Nothing could ever take away,
The scratches on my dirty little mind,
The cuts that you'll never find,
The hope I threw up in the sky,
Looking for it to come down and ask me why,
I abandoned every single aspect of life,
Why I never bothered trying,
Why my wings never handlded flying,
Why I failed to stop the crying,
She soothes every problem I sing,
Drowns all the sorrows I see,
Injects me with her love of me,
I choke on her when I breathe,
She numbs me so I can't flee,
The reason why I can't sleep,
She's my smile, she's my frown,
She's all the shit I've thrown to the ground,
Burrying all the love I found,
Keeping me from making my sound,
She's the monsters that pull me down,
Under the water, forcing me to drown,
She's the lips that I hate to kiss,
But when I swallow it's all sweet bliss,
She makes an open hand out of my fist,
But when I wake up, I fail to reminisce,
Of the feeling I had when she bled,
Into my body with no words said,
I can't fathom why I never fled,
From the feeling of being pretend,
From the thoughts of walking dead,
I'd rather live with her instead,
If she left, I wouldn't beleive,
Why she just abandonded me,
My jack, my smoke, my insecurities,
Let me introduce you to who I call, Mallory
She's means the world and is everything to me,
She's been through the hell that I have seen,
When I lay in my casket, she's with me,
She wont let my open wounds bleed.


Forget the good, Grieve the bad


Go and toss the heavy boxes of failure into the sea,
Realize what's in front of you was enough to beleive,
But lock your little heart up and swallow the key,
'Cause the last one that dared to clutch it always made it bleed,


Keep it safe in the cage you stuffed it in to keep away,
From all the hate and all the fake that turns it into all your angst,
It's the chase, it's not the same, it's the object of the game,
It's the fame of joining names, it's the sight of being tamed,


If they never came, why should you stay? why should you be the one to lay,
It all on the line everyday just to save what can't be made,
Into something great, it's just not fate to be filled with hate,
Close the gate, clean your slate, never deal with constant change,


Now re-arrange all your traits, never make the same mistakes,
For god sakes this wasn't fake, at least not in your brain,
You're not sane, get off the train, don't let people see your face,
And all the shame that you can't shake, can't make it go away,

So please jump on the raft you never knew was there,
The one that always filled your chest up with fresh air,
You wanted it all, but nothing's ever fair,
When you let the devil win with his delusive stares,


Let it go with the flow even when you never know,
If it's so, all the hope, you kept alive in your strokes,
In the paint that you hold, let the new love spark the show,
Never cold, the flame will grow, into something you can't control,


Never let this one go, even though you have been scold,
By the one that failed hold, your broken heart but forget the old,
Don't be sold, for the gold, that's behind this new found road,
Continue for this new born love that will never fold,


Don't be told to give your soul to the devil who's never flown,
Let things go, forget the horns, don't let them bring you low,
The new flame will keep you warm, it'l be the boat to keep you afloat,
Use the oars to scrape the floors to find the answers you've always known.

Faith


Do you see the beautiful stars that I see?
Or do you see the ghosts that haunt inside of me,
Do you see the heart I have to be set free?
From this cage I've been locked up in for centuries,

Haven't found a way out of this maze,
Can't see my path with all this haze,
I wish I could head back to my childhood days,
All alone with my thoughts and my craze,

I've walked this unforgiving road way too long,
Feet becoming bloody from the holes cased by the prongs,
Want to turn my back away from the fog,
But I'll never be a man until I face my wrongs,

So I write it all down in a wicked sense,
Just so I can tell you what's going on in my head,
But you can't help, no light can be shed,
On the years of darkness I've stuffed under the bed,

I want to deal with my clattering teeth,
And why the devil likes to sing me sound asleep,
And why I can hold these hearts but never keep,
I eat them one by one and fill them with defeat,

So how do I go along with no hope?
Where do I find the missing pieces to make me whole?
Locked up within myself until I find my home,
But i'm looking around this place and find no soul,

I'm ready to dive into the shallow waters,
I want to die so I'm not a zombie with no place to wander,
If I had a chance I would never have fought her,
I should have listened to the plans of making a daughter,

So now I carry the weight of the world on my back,
I don't know where to begin the hellish attack,
I need a hand to guide me to the right track,
Can I find one with the strength to not turn back?

Our Little Dance


Yeah, the flame still burns,
The spark regrew into something I never knew,
Could return so soon,
It stuck like glue,
Now I'm fighting for my life just to be with you,
My thoughts are skewed,
You had me at prelude,
When will we stop the senslessly hellish fued?
This feels so crude,
Don't know what to do,
Yeah, the flame still burns for you.

Yeah, the quicksand pulls,
Me under the surface so I don't have a purpose,
My soul is stuck in this circus,
It's not worth it,
The only way to win this bloody war is to forfeit,
My flaws still churnin'
I still try to be perfect,
So fuck all your thoughts of me just turnin,
My back on this journey,
The one I kept soarin,
Until even the words "I love you" became foreign.

Painter



His tattered heart was nailed to his sleeve,
As he held his head low to forget what he beleived,
Everyone could see the emotion pour through seams,
They never saw the gleam flicker off his wings,
His jacket was thin but the rain never seemed,
To knock him off his dream of being set free,
Due to all the broken bottles in his memories,
And all the images in the mirror that made him scream,


When he looks around he sees neon life,
Doesn't see one reason to end on a dime,
The paint he splatters is for everyone to find,
And the pictures he paints are what he sees in your eyes,
The way your lovers distrust made you stop tryin',
The way you cope about it taking a bath in your wine,
The way you reminisce holding your head and cryin',
Thinking you're the only one to suffer this crime,


In one stroke, he explains it all,
How even your best relationship began to fall,
He sees all the rights and all the flaws,
You should have been a better man and hide those claws,
But daddy taught you when you're angry you need to paw,
So yeah, you swung, but your son creeped up and saw,
You make excuses because you're afraid to move along,
So the cycle continues until no one can draw,


This kid sees the blood bracelets that you've woven,
And can paint the exact colors you feel before you told him,
Every little twist and turn and you didn't have to show him,
He doesn't have to know you to see the hurt flowin',
And he's been through enough to paint it like he knows it,
No matter how hard you try to keep it in that dirty closet,
He witnesses all the tears pouring through the faucet,
Once you see it, you begin think you haven't lost it,


But he shows you there are others in your boat,
Struggling to plug in the same holes just to float,
So bare with the long winter and put on that coat,
'Cause on the other side of the mountain theres always more,
So open up your wings and stop clinging to the floors,
'cause you're the only one who can nail your own coffin door,
He shows you your heart will be tested, beaten, and sore,
but to remember never lose sight of what you fight for.
   
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Re: All of my Poetry. (Updated ASAP) - February 20th 2012, 07:54 AM

Witch



It's the month of the witch,
You know the one you let in your niche,
So you can be her bitch,
You've got this itch,
To rip out the stich
So you can bleed over HER cuts and slits,

The same she did to you,
Don't be turning blue,
Come on man let it out she wont have a clue,
It was all a fluke,
It was only you,
Shoulda known when you saw her cackling on that broom,

Hey bro, you're way too fucking nice
You'd carve up the whole world
Give her the biggest slice,
She'd call it unproportionate,
Say it wont suffice,
Tell you you're not good enough, "go take a hike"

Tried not to fight,
You danced with daylight
until she brought the clouds to make you lose sight,
"Your work is slight",
"Go fly a fucking kite",
'cause you're not the one she wants tonight,


She wants to boil soon,
Cook you up for stew,
Eat every single last living part of you,
Feed it to her friends too,
Toss you in the bayou,
She wouldn't ever let you just go impune,

She's a snake,
she's a witch,
she's all of the above,
She's a fake,
she's a bitch,
you were her only dove,
Never hate,
Leave the itch,
'cause you know you were in love,
So heres the chate,
Reclose the stich,
Just keep polishing that gun.

February


This is personal, why did you take his but not mine
What was the point of leaving me here with a rotting mind
Thinking I can deal with this and come out fine
When the casket had my name on it this whole time

How am I fine when pull the sleeves and see all the lines
They're all periods of time and the deeper ones are when he died
The lighter ones are because I had the chance to finally cry
The even lighter ones is Mallory making it hard to hold the knife

When I look up I actually do see his smile
Telling me I'll be fine I'll see him in a while
Homie, I miss you, please come down some time
This is getting harder and harder with everyday that passes by

Without you man, it's getting hard to even try
Working on the same boat knowing I had your back and you had mine
I don't want to know you're gone man, I need you alive
Come back man, please, I swear you'll live a good life

I love you man, you know those are three words I usually can't find
You know when I say them I'd take a bullet to save your life
Buddy, I'll make the dreams come true, both yours and mine
I'll be on top of the world with more than just a dime

When the demons get to me I feel you fight them off
With every last inch of your soul, you wont let me fall
You wanted that for you but you accepted the call
Now I have you by my side and with that I have no flaw.

Better Day


The suns out, what is this?
I have no other reason to shake my fist?
My whole life changed from just your kiss
But the crazy thing is I still remember it

There was no swallow, or inhale this time
You flipped my whole world right-side up on a dime
You showed me even the roughest diamond can shine
It's amazing when I look in your eyes I feel fine

The ghosts footsteps aren't so loud anymore
My chains broke finally my best friends' not the floor
I found sight of what I'm fighting for
To pull the needles out from the artery that's been so sore

The one nailed to my sleeve as I pretend I can breathe
The one that's been beaten, stomped on, and tossed into the sea
You hold it softly as I show you the real me
No one has been able to unlock.....but...heres the key

Unlock the world I've been afraid to show
not only my hell but the one I have below
The cavern where all my memories and love flow
Let's spend all our time here and take it real slow

The devil doesn't have the reigns clutched in his hands
Anymore, you cut the strings from all of his plans
He doesn't see what I can make of this but I know you can
So let's keep dancing in this cavern until we all turn to sand.

Glass House



My glass home has fractures riddled inside,
It's made of my dreams and the demons that hide,
From the daylight that's why they haunt me at night,
The sound of their claws keep my locked up in fright,

Would it be right to let them in and consume my life,
And to lose sight of everything but this sensless fight,
This fight is mine as they surround this place on all sides,
Closing in, smelling the fear I have inside,

I take a step back into the nightmare where they reside,
I see no sunlight, I sit down and cry, but when I open my eyes,
I see them lick their teeth knowing I have no time,
To make it out of this fucking reality alive,

So I look into the sky and see an angel in disguise,
Telling me my crimes have cut my wings to let me fly,
I tell him lies to try and get him to save my life,
But he knows they're just lies to save my ass on the line,

I hear the walls around me slowly start to crack,
As I'm fighting this war defensless on my back,
What do I lack to track these monsters on their path,
So I can be ahead of their sly, cute little plans,

I don't care if I'm a man I just want to stand,
Up on my feet trying to chant to myself "I can",
So I can get some fresh breath and throw up this sand,
That's ripped my insides up since the day I appeared on this land,

The gashes are getting wider as I hear the flak,
Rain upon this glass house that's been under attack,
For all the years I've let go of every chance,
I love the constant feeling of stepping on these tacks,

It soothes the noises ringing my ears making me quiver and crash,
Each claw I hear scraping is louder than the last,
Each scream reminds me of my dirty little past,
This house starts to fall around me as I watch the glimmer of the fallen glass.

The sparkles blind me as they rain heavy to the floor,
The heads trample on everything I've learned to fight for,
My body shivers from the crackle of all the dreams and hopes,
That were holding together the bits and pieces of my home,

My body now paralyzed, they turned me into a drone,
I get to do all their dirty work and come back all alone,
Build this place back up, wall by wall, door by door,
The bore in my chest is sore, I don't feel human anymore,

I don't think I'll ever come back from this sickening war,
The imprints on my mind from all the traumatizing horror,
I want off this floor so I can look for more,
But instead I'm chained up as their personal whore,

This is the lore of why I'm crazy to the rotten core,
You've heard all this before but I want to show you more,
I want to show you all! The exact reasons why,
My faith was in anything but the seemingly perfect sky.


Alpha


When mommy tries to close her eyes fst sleep,
She remembers me, the one she bled for in her memories,
The child saved but the mother taught to dis-beleive,
Everything and anything that elated her so she could dream,

I was fifteen when I finally got to see,
Code name: Alpha tear down every last beam,
Holding together every ripped open seam,
So she can bleed into the cup he can't even hold steady,

She can't breathe from the smoke burning down the family tree,
Burning to the seed trying not to leave,
Anything behind no thoughts or memories,
Nothing can flee from the clutch alpha brings,

I feel it's me, I was the perfect key,
To fit in that lock ready to unleash,
Hell into her whole entire world she beleived,
Now she lays down forcing her eyes closed trying to forget she bleeds.

Heart


The mind recieves all signals from what's around it,
I'm starting to feel like I'm being surrounded,

Grounded, by the holes caused by your footsteps,
Founded, all the fires you left so I picked them up and kept,

Them safe in this world you never knew was there,
You never looked reasured so I thought you'd never care,

Obviously I was wrong as my chest starts to feel smaller,
You start to swell showing my head never to wander,

Ponder every single event that ever took place,
Put it in a case watch the whole world start to gaze,

Jaws drop, eyes widen, minds start to open,
The tunnel you were in just became another slogan,

Hello chest, stop hurting, but the brain just wont let you,
As it knows the one thing it'l never figure out, is you.

Paradise Black


What? Did you really think I was a diamond?
Shining through the dust covered hell that I run,
This isn't fun, I'm whispering to a loaded gun,
Using my last breath to tell it secrets like it was blinded by the sun,

It has only begun, the sharrades I run,
To keep you chained to the bottom of my collapsed lung,
When you sung, I clung, now I'm swept under the rug,
What can I do when I spill my blood and all you do is shrug,

Don't beleive me, hun, I'm not the one,
I'll stomp your heart out faster than I made you subbcumb,
I'll chew you up, spit you out, and make your whole body numb,
You should have just shut your fucking mouth, and bit your tongue,

Because my heart wears a mask that protects it from the past,
You wont last, it'l die fast, it'l die fast, I wont be your cast,
I wont protect you from the glass, or the nightmares you've seemed to grasp,
I'll make you collapse, fall straight into my lap, it's my trap,

Let's put pressure on the plunger and let it hit the bottom half,
You're mine to clasp, so let's dance, I'll take the stones that you cast,
Forget your past, break you like glass, reform your class, never say you've passed,
Throw you into the mass, with nothing more than a mask to complete the task,

I'll keep you trapped, if you escape I'll be your relapse,
I'll put your wings in the clamp so you can't flap,
So you can't fly, why does love have to feel sly to feel alive,
Every time I realise something new in you I want to just die.

Jessica


Windows forced open as the water sneaking in,


Quietly drizzling down the walls she's been building,


'Causing them to weaken making it hard to breathe in,


Giving herself nothing else to beleive in,


Treason, her heart goes against her head,


Can't blame it when she never wakes up in the same bed,


How can she listen when nothing was ever said,


Expecting her to be perfect hanging by a thread,


A mind trapped in the shelter they've placed,


To keep the evil from confronting her face to face,


Never teaching her to overcome the danger they've traced,


Grew up the hard way, mistake after mistake after mistake,


She creates a new mask for every hand she's ever held,


Throwing away previous ones that screamed out "hell",


Unity is something she's never felt,


Except with the council of escape she keeps huddled up top on the kiln,


She pampers herself with the powder held by the stars,


She claims to know the way but we don't know where we are,


She begins to run away but I know she can't get far,


Because the nightmare isn't reality, it's just a scar,


When she rips it open no one will be around,


She'll be standing on alone presenting herself the crown,


Titled "Lonliest person in every city and town",


I will miss her when she's 6 ft. underground.

Who I am



19 years old still don't know what's wrong with my life,
Try to fix everything but don't have the goals in mind,
No matter what I'll make you beleive I'll fight,
But I just turn your head long enough to miss the flight,

I'm a romance novel, women come to be for hope,
Sit me on the shelf, collect dust, come back again to cope,
Give them the feeling of an artificial "whole",
Demote me back to dust catcher, throw me back in the cold,

My mind is like a hurricane, can't control the storm,
I'll flood every one of you if I let my thoughts go,
If you're close to me I'll make you feel my woes,
In a wicked way you would never get to know,

So I sit here and write about to grab another pint,
This is my life, short, simple, and to the point of the knife,
If you're smart, you'd run away and hide,
Never get in the path I walk on this zip line.


Untitiled


Letís get this straight,
I fall in love easily,
I can relate,
With all your suicidal tendencies,
Being locked in a crate,
Because all I did was beleive,
Change all my traits,
Just to have you up and leave,
Iím stuck in this fate,
Of having no place to lean,
Iím losing all my faith,
And everything I dream,
All Iím filled with is hate,
I want to burn all your treeís,
And I donít know if it can change.

Letter


Hey Robert, how are your demons treating you?
Are they still pulling on your hair and force feeding you?
The nightmares you want to let go but have no choice to,
watch them re-ocurr in your own personal theatre room,
Front row seats for the biggest display of truth,
Hard work and determination destroyed before youth,
Your life started with a rain drop ready to make a big splash,
Now you're a puddle who never had a chance,
Letting people walk all over you til you turn to ash,
Now you lash out on everything that reminds you of the past,
Hopefully this cast will be the last,
But how can you protect something so vast?
You let Mallory seduce you, letting your eyes roll back,
You accept her poison of clogging lungs and everything you lack,
Manipulating your sight of freedom but you're not on the right track,
And now you can't get anywhere without stepping on tacks.

Society


Society covers her face as she hides in the basement,
Her body filled with angst
As the mask covers all she traced,
Paints a smile on she can't chase,
To her it's just another phase,
There's more that meets her brain,
More than just a one track lane,
Thoughts locked in a cage,
They get out "she's filled with craze",
So she hides them all away,
Until the demons want to play,
Causing everything to misbehave,
Every piece in disarray,
She quickly floods the page
With everything that she hates,
Acting it all on stage,
Every single ounce of rage,
Until the gates matches her fate,
Of nothing left, no not even sane,
Reluctant, changing pace,
Trying to sneak on the train,
Where all the people seem afraid,
Judge every move she makes,
"Think twice before you speak her name",
Her head heavy from all the shame,
Thinking twice about this new found fame,
She feels this is all a game,
Hard times are just another day,
Want to mold a rock into clay,
Wants to skip all the growing pains,
Put out the smoke without the flame,
Hooked on a ball and chain,
Reaching something she can't graze,
Take a gaze at all the rays,
Beaming from the bars she can't raise,
The car she can't race,
The char she can't blaze,
The scars she can't erase,
The nightmares she can't face,
The mask covers her face and everything she traced,
Have fun with the strings you made,
In her little corner she's been neatly placed.

Introduction


Hello my name is Robert and I'm glad to meet you,
Now meeting me is another over-dramatic nightmare to creep you,
My mind is vast and riddled with miscues, I'll never miss you,
I'm as soft as tissue when it comes to my insecurity issues,

I didn't try to fish for you, we just happened when I kissed you,
And inhaled just to sit through all of this bullshit truth,
You choke me up every time I read my list to you,
Of what went wrong and all the shit I put myself through,

We put together our tendencies and combined all our traits,
Your soul stays within me but I don't think it makes me sane,
I don't care what people say, I'm never jumping off this train,
'Cause you're the only one who makes everything look a game,

You're here today, and you'll be here when I've crossed my fate,
And I'll clutch your torso kissing your lips with all my hate,
When we leave our trail behind us and walk through this reality gate,
We'll create our love and gaze the stars below and use the ground as bait.
   
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Re: All of my Poetry. (Updated ASAP) - February 20th 2012, 07:55 AM

Mallory - The Escape



Through all the gaps of your sick little traps,
I try to grasp at all the lies you sent to attack,
In this paper bag I hold everything we had,
From all the different fads to the thought of being a dad,
Now it's just sad how everything is buried in sand,
To be dug up by someone who can't realize what we had,

You were everything I stood for.
Hell you were everything I lived for.

I still feel the clash from being stuck in your clasp,
I don't have time to react when your claws are in my back,
Every little thing I lack is how you get me to relapse,
Almost seems your task is to knock me off track,
Yeah but I'm not the last, no I'm not the last,
You'll recover fast and put someone else in an artery-shaped cast,

You were all I fought for.
Hell you were all I would die for.

I still seem to love you, but we're two different contrasts,
But now that I realize I can stop living in the past,
Freedom tastes sweet when you look through the glass,
It's half full to me and it wont be the last,
I have grasped every lie and sent them on their new track,
Through every gap of your sick little traps.

You are all I regret.
You are all I resent.

Cherish


Our brain takes the paintings that are unraveling around us,
Turns it into our past, we never make it last,
Force it in the back of the pack just to trap,
All the hurt and all we lack to put a smudge on the glass,
Never make it clear for us until we want to relapse,
Never take it for what it's worth until our wings don't flap,
Don't fall into the trap of keeping the good in the past,
Just to keep the bad up front witnessing your life first class.

When a baby is born, even in the dark its eyes burn bright,
Even when a baby cries, can you hear its lies?
Or do you feel alive for the very first time?
Do you believe it can fly and reach its dreams on a dime?
Or do you see it being sly being a mastermind of every crime?
Your paradise has a parasite just waiting for you to die,
You see the glass half empty every time you sip on the wine,
Never take a look at half-full, the way it was designed.

What I'm saying here is, "You never know what you have til its gone"
You have pictures, memories, videos, but it's still all gone,
Learn to cherish it while it's giving its blood, sweat, and tears for y'all,
Notice they wont be here forever no matter how much you scratch and claw,
Have those memories up front now and keep track of it all,
So you don't have to make the call when you start to fall,
Don't let your demons stand tall when all they do is highlight your flaws,
'Cause when we're screaming to the sky no one will hear, not even god.

It all came tumbling after


I'm way too messed up I can't even cry

So I try to lie my way out of time that's passing by

I'm too sly to start being dry I need to feel alive

Veins pump slow as I fight with my shadow in the light

Over who's right and wrong but the margins too slight

A fingernail couldn't separate the lines in your blight

Jack and Jill went up the hill but if they came down with nothing filled

The blood will spill and their voices trill til the hand shakes in thrill

Til the adrenaline they instilled within you is finally fulfilled

But when truth comes to shove they feed you the pill

So stand still if you will look into the eyes of the souls you killed

Look at the love they left in your till even when your heart became chilled

Shipwrecked


The water is ticking her time away
Can't seem to gain an inch
Measure by measure she starts to fade
She can't stop the itch
Keep scratching girl, it wont stay
But the truth rips every stitch
Til the screams fire out of pain
Your lies here won't fucking fit
So throw them up in disarray
But don't take cover when they hit
I want you to feel what you portray
So you can tell ME how it is
So I can stop judging your page
When your life is in the slits
No one can look at your face
When all they see is bullshit
Let yourself out of your cage
'Cause every god damn boot fits
But all you want to do is lay
And hate the world for what it is
I'll just let you float and never change
You can be the Captain of this ship
I'm not going to wreck the same
Just so you have a reason to live

Time.


From lolipops to acid drops
From soda pop to alcohol
From love forever to booty call
From first kiss to do it all
From honest living to a deal job
From active to a complete slob
From a smile to a constant sob
From memories to I can't recall
From never happening to after all
From straight arrow to break the law
From respect women to swing a paw
From keep fighting to hide your claws
From perfection to many flaws
From I can't wait to no more pause
From open door to change the locks
From where we were to where we are
Where has it all gone?

From knicks and bruises to head contusions
From confidence to straight confusion
From what you see to bad illusions
From winning it all to constant losin
From a life well spent to who are you foolin?
From in your grasp to always eludin
From always smooth to never fluid
From pat on the back to ass chewin
From peace and love to revolution
From little princess to prostitution
From bullet proof to restitution
From number one to substitution
From simple times to convolution
From humble beginnings to conclusion
From second chance to retribution
From ahead of the pack to just cruisin
Where has it all gone?

Warrior


The essence of war fills his mouth up with pride

The one he holds dearly in both hands is corrupting his mind

You can see the light in his eyes when he shoots up in the sky

He feels tied to all the lies the metal wrote in-between the lines

He likes to think of his wife in the fight of her life

With her throat softly pressed against the point of the knife

Looks in the eyes of the man causing fright in his wife

Doesn't think twice, pulls the trigger to watch his face light up bright

Stepping back into reality has been harder than it seems

When the only place he can use the thing are in his hellish dreams

So every chance given he forces his eyes shut to see the gleam

Looking down the barrel watching the man fall and his blood stream

His mind goes wild trying to listen to him scream

He walks down the isle trying to get what he needs

One day he'll be dead, but will he be set free?

Jessica - I can't forget.


Please take off your mask, sit down and relax
The constant bombing around you wont last
I promise that, the clouds will clear fast
You can take off the cast that's been covering your past
Take a step into this gate but don't look through the glass
The caskets you see wont be you I promise that
So take this I promise you can see where they sat
Put up your smoke and mirrors in spite of the constant lambaste


Let me feel what you feel don't keep it all sealed
You can scratch until you peel but your wounds wont heal
You hide behind the wheel because you wish your claws were steel
Don't forget to appeal to anguish and all he conceals
Put in your memories, one by one in this creel
Sit it next to you and let the waves take the wheel
Let the currents take you away, but please be sincere
Don't be filled with fear what you feel is what you hear


But now I regret, can't seem to take my eyes off the sea
You never came back and I know you're not free
You're stuck in a new cage and it's all because of me
You got swept off your feet by the nightmare of your dreams
You know the place where I promised you'd never be?
There lies a tree where you fly so I always believe
I know I glued your eyes shut regrettably
But because of what you taught me, I can finally see

A girl named..



She trapped herself in her room once again
You can listen closely and hear the whispers begin
She looks into the stars to get answers from her kin
Closes her eyes and escapes from what's within

She tries to hide the sky from what's outside
She'd like to take the sun and set it aside
She tries to hide the sky from what's outside
She'd like to take the sun and set it aside

Too much innocence and ignorance placed within arrogance
Plagued with indolence and penetrating benefits
Not enough visions to tear into the incision
Of religion. There is too much of this schism

Too much right and wrong and not enough write and song
She feels this life is fogged into war we don't belong
Too much right and wrong and not enough write and song
She feels this life is fogged into war we don't belong

I can hear her sing, I know all she wants is peace
She opens her window for the off chance of setting them free
From the body of sea they've been forced to breathe
Their life is nothing if they can't make someone bleed

She goes from singing to screaming to make them believe
They don't listen, they just don't fucking listen!
If only she can get in their eyes and let them see
But their ears will be shut and they still wont listen

She wants them to breathe, get the ground under their feet
Let the wind hit them and have them stop grinding their teeth
But in this world, she'll never find peace.
In this world, we'll never find peace.


Random



With my hands full of ambition and a body full of paralyze
I can feel my eyes tell my lies to never touch the sky
There's nothing left in this phony disguise
I can lie in paradise but all I'll see is this parasite
I can't fly this kite the light isn't on my side
I can't fight this war but if you fill me up I'll try
Time is the only thing that keeps me alive
So bruise me up, push to shove, I'll still have my pride
Cover me with dirt and blood until you can't see my eyes
I'll still can see the reasons why the sun wont shine
The head of steam you built will be nothing against my mind
If you took a peak, you wouldn't escape from what you find


Star


If you listen to me today, you don't even have to trace

All you have to do is stay and make this heart I have a cage

So believe in the next page don't leave in this testy age

Don't cut the seam with this dull blade just bleed and I'll do the same

It seems you have no clay to see what I have to say

You'll see but you wont change, you'll cheat if you get to play

Please be free but don't you fade please release this hand grenade

When your dreams start to fray you just flea into this fame

I can't believe what you became, you let the greed take out the flame

Don't expect me to take the blame when you leave this test of age


Done


I'm trying something different 'cause i'm not flying with the pigeons

I'm lying in my syringes with my veins sky high with my religion

Stop the crying and the bitchin, heat too high? Get out of the kitchen

I'm a writing magician get close and shine light on my visions

You do right, I do villain. You touch the sky, I make incisions

I'm about to die so say good riddens to the guy who beat the system

Through all the blight and the schism all the fights and collisions

Belief is slight with no ambition so grab the pipe and meet addiction

Life is life that's my prediction, eye for an eye is your position

You took mine so complete the mission now I'm blind under one condition

Still have my mind and all its minions so don't try and make me fiction

You have nothing else to believe in so stick by your superstitions

damned if you do, damneder if you don't



Let me watch as you put this hole through my chest
Those bullets went through the vest how'd you get through the test
You beat the best you cheat the rest you defeat the crest
And all it left in this mess I found difficult to leave for death

So now look at what you made me, a two faced piece of crazy
Walk one way to get what I want, the other brings me up safely
This is getting shady, why is it me they love praising?
When I'm fading and drowning in this glazing sea of pushing daisies

So burn burn burn burn, you worthless bitch
Take a hit of my drug, inhale and confess the itch
Rip my name off the stitch the ones you made your lips kiss
Prance back to your broom just to hackle and hiss like a witch

Fly back to your hideout to come back acting innocent
While you're there relax in your bath of ignorance
Didn't even have a chance to act on your vigilance
I held your hand through the long path of wickedness

Encounter


Hello, I guess it's nice to meet you too
First thing you should know, I see right through you
I don't seek virtue, I wont bleed for you
I flea from truth It's the only thing that keeps me true
It keeps me true, it peaks for clues
Anything that keeps me a step before the view
Throw you into the flames to see if I believe you flew
Maybe it'l give us something to relate to

I feel stuck desperately swimming in this sea of glue
They lied to my fucking face, I don't see any blue
It's not quite beaut, there is no fleet of youth
There's just me and you looking for the leaf I drew
The leaf I drew, the one I always reviewed
Until my mind went crazy and released my ghouls
Enemies dripped in pools my loved ones became my tools
Maybe we do have something we relate to

I don't think I'll ever let you fly
You'll be lucky to even see the sky
You might make it out if you grasp this land
Let go of my hand, I have it all planned

I don't think I'll ever let you fly
You'll be lucky to even see the sky
You might make it out if you grasp this land
Let go of my hand, I have it all planned

I'm always filling my body with unbelievable angst
I hang out with Mallory and let my table taste
Get a good look at my labeled face with this lacerate
I begin to trace everything in this cable race
The first one to place is the last to sables base
If you rush you wont find out who my fable grazed
You'll see the blood but you wont savor the blame
You'll just wonder why you should favor the claim

Hop on the train think you changed your game
But what you leave behind will always stay the same
I can't lay in your lane I can't frame your fame
In lamest terms I can't prey what you portray
I'll torture the pain so you can betray the gain
While you move forward I'll continue to play with clay
Mold it into something that wont fade away
But I feel jumping will be the only thing to save today

Get away


I'm not a sage and I don't claim to be the best in any game
I don't want the fame or the blame for the trendy flames
It's not the same if you ask the Mage to blast the range
Put your cast away you're not a cast away you're just fast for claim
Same or famous? What's the difference when the pain trains us
When greatness turns us into brainless statements
You're not courageous for what you preach is just contagious
Stuff tenacious in your oasis to keep all your patients
It's your only way to fit your glove and call it love
So you can give everyone an example of Cholera
You polish us so we wont fall from ya call yourself a conqueror
We're just your Polymers to make you popular there's no stopin' ya

Random


I watch the tears of the sun roll down your face
The moon told you to never play your ace
But now you've lost your grace trying to keep pace
With everything ahead of you in this life we race
So take a taste of every recipe we've made
Savor the chase of all you've traced just to waste
Every bit of it locking up your base just so none praise
Your fate of walking through the gate with your faith

Short


It all stays the same
Along with the stars that I gaze
To make me feel there's a gate
To walk through and seal my fate
Of love and all its games
Please don't let me take the blame
It never stays the same

PoW


I still hear the whispers he sang, "I never came back"
He's still walking through the valley of death in his mind for payback
He's laid back but stay back from every one of his playbacks
They implode your brain on impact like just another frayed trap
Can't keep his mind on the prize but he'd never say that
Denial in his eyes reflect the skies and you can't change that
He can't relax, bullets replay and lights him up like a camera flash
He's stuck, he's candle wax, he's fucked, but he can handle relapse


The next day his tone is clear, a little too perfectly clear
With no inflection or passion no reflection of any cheers
He doesn't believe what he hears let alone his filthy peers
Never tries to swallow the pills they filled just to have their dear
With his eyes shifting he tries to calmly slay every fear
He whisped in my ear "I can see them, with every step they feel near"
I watch the tears become more real as he peals back his deadly years
Tries to sear every ghost of past so the future wont leave him here


He's having trouble grasping reality in his shadow-casting mentality
He feels like he's trapping insanity in all of his collapsing vanity
Feeling crotchety, pacing anxiously, waiting for his plastering apathy
Tries to kiss death with a hug goodbye from all of his encased calamidy
Would have been a tragedy watching him leap, bypassing agony
Honestly he forgets his family helps him escape from his fantasy
He constantly watches me makes sure I'm passing cautiously
If I stray off his path he screams until the shards rub off of me


I'll always remember him for what he was and not for what he became
But who's to say that's any better when all he knows is a bloody face
And all he can retrace is the maze he had to suddenly had to race
To watch the craze flood the parade of the pungently insane
He had to refrain from all the claims of all their brains becoming stained
They put him in chains so he can't change the anomaly so they stay the same
But I can see it in his eyes when he can't stop playing the fucking games
This man his dead, but his body lives on, he's still drowning in the shame

Ruthless


Holds his head down to keep the devil low to the ground
Still hears his voice tries to paint a smile but pops a frown
Infesting all around relentlessly killing the proud
Pilling the mouths of all the children with doubts
He's filling the clouds with loud thunderous sounds
Erupting ponderous frowns upon plunderous towns
Putting ruin into the numberless mounds of family found
Just to be renowned tragedy bound he's finally crowned
He wants nothing more than for you to contemplate suicide
To compensate for you and I to penetrate world-wide
Emulate the rip-tide for the demostrative insight
"Teach us how to drain life to congregate moonlight
Next thing on our list is to obligate our tools, right?"
Don't designate the speculated and don't speculate eyesight
Interrogate the pool of light don't negotiate when you can fight
Walk on a tight rope if it means you can formulate your flight

Jessica - I WONT forget.


She grasps the handles by the strings she gently placed
Resenting grace in every stencle trace she can't erase
The cracks on this shifty stage and the misty gaze
Shine light on new beginnings in this weary age
Here come the waves like a train shaking her brace
And she can't relate to any fucking bleeding face
So praise today even when you can't find your way
Just for a change of pace try to feign the pain

She painted life with her heart not tenacious mind
The gracious skies dripping rainless lies
Still can't say goodbye with impatient time
Shameless rhymes wont help me save my crimes
Shake my shrine collapse til I'm rightfully scorned
Deceitfully mourned til the bore is righteously sown
Anxiety flows within my binary codes
Propriety shown faces undeniably show fiery stones

Late


In the hearts of the restless and eyes of the relentless

Breathless I lay here senseless tryin' to stay under arrest

But with the claws slaying reckless disobeying the rest

Swaying the crest of every praying guest til they display the test

But with being adolescent deaming myself benevolent

Dreamin' of the present til my demons ascend in

Breaking my glass fort gleaming of resin

Seemingly deafen my voice singing to decendencents

Of every broken glass, bottle, and every promise filled pendant

Regardless of any fucking memory lying within it

Pushing to my limits trusting every single minute

Gathering resistance shadowing persistance forget it

I'm mastering perseverance, I'm answering to the fearless

I'm Shattering the tears 'n I'm staggering for the clearness

I'm Capturing the feelings of every straggling dissapearance

I'm Balancing my treasons trying to flatter every missed season
So now I'm trying to gamble away every one of my thoughts

Supplying to the demand of energy that I've lost

Denying all the rambles of bad memories I've fought

Cleverly defying tenderly relying on the fog

Undyingly battle against terrifying costs

But when the blood clears I'll undeniably stand tall

I'm Defying the odds, trying to ratify the cause

Verifying my loss to stand on top gratifying it all

Writing and designing I bleed dirty from my palms

Cleansing my claws just to glorify my wrongs

Sing a lullaby to sleep nullifying the calls

Swing a paw solidifying every one of my flaws

I'm restoring the applause, I'm ignoring all my haunts,

No longer mourning in the dark, I'm Performing with a spark

I'm pouring out my heart, Blood coursing through my art

I'm reforming with a cause, no more laying in my coffin
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: All of my Poetry. (Updated ASAP) - February 20th 2012, 07:56 AM

Daddy's Little Girl


First Verse

You're daddy's little girl, daddys whole entire world

Put on that dress, stand in front of him and give it a twirl

wipe them bubbles off your face and picture the undisturbed

Throw that mirror to the curb, a mixture of who you are and who you were

Daddy tells the teacher all them colors on your face

Are from the lines that you trace when you cover for grace

With your powder but you know it's from the way he escapes

When is mother gonna save? You start wonder in your brain

The angel wont come to stay, but you still get down to pray

Hoping mommy comes down from heaven and takes the suffer away

But when daddy peeks in your room, seeing you're awake

You scramble under the covers with tears rolling down your face

He climbs in bed slowly, whispers "you're going to be okay"

But you know this game, the one he knows you'll play

'Cause if you don't, you can say goodbye to your glowing faith

'Cause he knows that angel in your cross can't close the drapes


Chorus x2

You loath every day hoping the sun goes away

So you can hide in the dark hoping daddy doesn't disgrace

Corrupted embrace served with disgust and distaste

Try to erase the memories of the sick play-dates

Second Verse

The fire burns in your heart for every single fiber hurt

Your whole life withered down to survive the worst

Strive for rebirth but it's hard when he finds that pink skirt

Just try to reverse the scratches on your mind he cursed

Play that violin loud and clear, no one in the clouds can hear

The strain on them chords you've been counting on for years

To allow you to hear the crowd of the proud and the cheer

Please don't allow the tears to crown your fears

But here you are in your closet with eyes closed and doubting ears

waiting for your bottled screams to sink so no one knows how you feel

Amounting to severe clouding of all your ideas

You no longer strum your strings and keep your pounding heart concealed

'Cause no amount of vibrations can allow you to reveal

The level of pain routing to your nerves of steal

So you break your violin into pieces to ground your dreams

'Cause to you a dream is just a dream that none can achieve

Vice grip



Eyes closed, throat sore, and hiccups making her head rock
You can see the glow of the joint, she can't stop
Life's in lock, feels lost, still stuck in this pot
She's been swimming in since the last time she looked at the clock
Contradiction, is killing her slowly
Trying to forget she needs a new filling for holy
Feeling lonely, her cieling is folding
Reaching for her soul she's leaping for her soul
She tries to feel whole but feels nothing but a hole
In her heart and mind, cutting every single string of hope
Still trying to cope over the fact she needs to cope
Bleeds for hope, needs more than dope, to feel her cloak
She needs to find out how to free her quotes
Or else no ones gonna listen and her creed becomes a scapegoat
But even if you knew her, you wouldn't even know
'Cause the mask she wears emulates a faulty glow

You can see it in his eyes when he talks about his father
A gentle suicide is all he can recall
He gets through it by forming red lines under his eyelids
With the snow he lets melt in his nose so he can to stop cryin'
He stops trying to find an answer to live life
So he grabs another potent rock of ice
So he can drown in his vice, crown the sacrifice
Down in paradise where the proud is just parasite
And he doesn't know why life has to be this cut and dry
He tries to deny he relies on being high
But he'd rather die than defy what keeps him alive
He walks blind into the shadow of death feeling just fine
Everything is numb, and he can hardly open his eyes
But he still staggers into the unforgiving night
When they found him, he was wearing nothing but a smile
It looked as if he dreamed this for years, and it was just time

You wrestle the images both your brain and mirror portray
Every single day theres something someone has to say
About the way you live your life and how you make it day to day
Just trying to make your pay and have fun along the way
Yes you do drugs, and yes you're probably insane
But when pain is gain to reign over your slain chains
You'll walk any path to avoid the rain
Fill the void in your veins just to feign the grace
Shame among your name to avoid the hurricane
Destroy your decoys 'cause you're right in deaths face
Life is fucking plain when you're not illegally insane
Grievously you regain your deity from flame
Engulf your nightmares with the fire from being enslaved
Finally obtain the shivers you've been trying to sustain
Through the lying and small-town fame - the object to contain
The feeling of defying the concept of humane

Poet - Verses 1, 2, and 3 out of 4.



He's rockin' it, he's killin' the mic on stage
A brutal murder releasing beautiful metaphors and phrases
He lashes out. What's he fed up for? Is it the praises?
Watches the faces light up 'cause he's f*cked up and crazy
Wonders why they don't condemn him for being productively shady
So he takes another stab, wishing the mic made him saintly
But life isn't all daisies, so he continues to race
Trying to dodge every steeplechase to lie about his pace


Keeps his thorn by his side, it's the only way to halothane
If it sinks far enough, he'll touch the sky and what will you say?
He remains to maintain his insane to detain,
His shame ridden rain to remain in his plain domain
When he smiles, don't listen, it's just part of the campaign
He's spreading vile with his heart when he throws it like a grenade
But instead, they embrace his brain 'cause they're all the same
He's screaming at himself in a little pretty quatrain


They're standing still, senseless, sipping on his troubled tone
A group of struggled drones clinging on this man's crumbled home
As if he's the only one that can paint a picture of their woes
or scribble their convictions on the stones cast to break their bones
They don't feel so alone even when their tears hit the floor
'Cause he's also in this war fighting sword to sword
Fighting clones of the same horror they've all been forced to adore
Gaining control of their souls, let the ramparts down to make them whole
   
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